Just go on the internet and lie

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Heyo!

Welcome to my lair of lies, my fortress of fabrication, my house of hyperbole. Do not trust your eyes, for the world is not as it seems.

Anyway, my name’s Percy, and sometimes, I just wanna just go on the internet and tell lies. Yay. Everything here is an exaggeration, and most of it is full on fabrication. Idk I wanted to blog but I don’t want to dox myself. So instead I blog about a life I made up. Some of these stories are based in truth, but they don’t go exactly as I describe them.

Reoccurring characters are tagged with their names. There’s also “Percy posting” for stories involving me and “unnamed other” for I didn’t bother naming them

“vaguely horny tag” for anything I wouldn’t want my ten year old cousin seeing. “Ethics board” for my ‘is it wrong to…’ questions (feel free to weigh in I asked for a reason”

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considering if I should post my shitty fic of Ryland Grace smut

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I think bondage would fix my posture

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Like sure I could do the effort to fix it myself. Orrrrrrr I could have someone tie me up so I physically couldn’t slouch.

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I think bondage would fix my posture

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Is it wrong of me to have a boyfriend when I’m arospec and kinda romance-repulsed?

like I love him, sure, but not any different than I love my other friends. He likes to kiss me and likes when I kiss him and I think both are gross. I don’t mind it, usually, so it’s generally neutral to me.

It’s commensalism, maybe? A +/0 type of relationship. But sometimes it feels +/- because. I don’t know. I feel guilty and shit for not loving him how he loves me?

and he’s ace, he gets it. Sort of. But like. I don’t know if he really does? I’ve told him I’m lovepunk, and that I don’t view romantic relationships as fundamentally better than platonic ones. That I don’t really differentiate between them at all. And he didn’t break up with me over it but I don’t know if he GETS it. And I still feel guilty that I’m fucking something up.

Our friends say they’ve been watching us pine for each other for a year, before we started dating. I know I’ve seen him pining for me. I don’t think I ever felt different about him than I do about other friends. If I ever did, I definitely don’t know. Except for a heavy guilt when I think of him.

We’re dating because he asked me out. We don’t do anything I wouldn’t do with any of my other close friends. I don’t think of him often when we’re not together, but I think he thinks of me a lot.

I don’t know. I just. I don’t know what to do about this. I’ve always had trouble with people loving me more than I love them. I don’t know what to do when I can’t give them the love they give me

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Fic I’ll never write but should exist:

It’s called “Simon Says”, and Grace has a praise kink. And it’s t4t because yes

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did a school assignment with a shitty analysis of PHM might post it once everything is graded and it’s not gonna mark me for plagiarism

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I think I want to put my bard character in a street racing AU

god she would be so hot

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Hmm. Maybe a motorcycle actually

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I can be trusted to care for myself.

I did not just burn myself making oatmeal that’s crazy talk

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Dark!Bloom from Winx club was literally my gay awakening. I don’t know it at the time but gods that was hot. I was like 7 or 8 probably.

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wait she was my first crush ever actually wait omg

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My dumbass brain keeps mixing up Umeboshi and Omorashi and one day I’m going to say the wrong one to the wrong person and ruin my life

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he homo on my genus til I’m composed. Uniformly.

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mmmmmmm tasty paper

they’ll tell you it’s bad for you but if it bad why taste good

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Been reading some books about sex. Fascinating. Too bad people don’t do this in real life cause that would be cool to study

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I think Artemis, Arrow, and Venue have both bitten me more times than my boyfriend has. Fascinating.

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Dark!Bloom from Winx club was literally my gay awakening. I don’t know it at the time but gods that was hot. I was like 7 or 8 probably.

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This dumbass in my woodshop class decided that the best use of his class time and resources was to take a bottle of glue over to the miter saw and cut it in half. Mr. Woodshop comes over, starts shouting his head off. “What the fuck was that, why the fuck would you do that?” Meanwhile this kid is just standing there with glue dripping down his hands and the miter saw all gummed up and he doesn’t even look upset? For obvious reasons, he is no longer in my woodshop class, and has more detentions than John Bender waiting for him.