i’ve only just stumbled upon “Unbidden” and have been consuming it rapidly. reynolds’s is a ship i feel so passionately about and i love their love, and wish they got better from those who wrote them officially—your fics restore that piece in my heart that yearns for a happy ending for them.
reading your authors notes about mr. downing are always such highlights of reading your chapters. i always end a chapter thinking, “wow. what an incredible love they have. he loves her so, so much.” while reading about your move and shift to writing full-time, i got curious about you as a person and scoped out your profile on AO3 and found out about your deeply tragic loss. i am so, so sorry. i know it’s been almost 2 years, and perhaps you’re tired of hearing “i’m so sorry” from strangers online, but my heart broke at the news of his death.
after doing a deep dive on your tumblr, i saw that your faith is in humanity. i am a devoted Christian, and i want you to know that i will be praying for your heart daily. not that it would be healed, just that it would have peace. happy memories, sweet connections with friends and family, and the motivation to keep on living and trying and being even when you feel alone or lost.
i am 22 and have been with the love of my life for almost 5 years. each chapter of your fics that i finish, each story about mr. downing that follows, has left me thinking “i am so grateful to have a love like theirs.” on the complicated journey that i know you are now on as you figure out what life looks like, i hope you know that your love is continuing to inspire thousands on thousands. i hope you never stop receiving messages like mine: wishing you well, sharing our celebration that you were loved so deeply for so long, our grief that you were not given more time to be loved by him. i hope your online family and support network never stops growing, and i am always happy to join the lower ranks of that family. you are a deeply wonderful writer, wife, and human.
I think it's genuinely amazing that you took the time to tell me this, such an act of generosity and sincerity. It made me cry, in the best of ways.
That there are so many people who know of Mr. Downing, who value what he gave to me, is a source of great comfort to me. I re-read those little notes and I'm so lucky that he embraced my writing and being my Mr. Downing. He always puffed up when anyone would remark about him in the comments and I know he would be full of gratitude and awe for how this community continues to look after me.
I am just so happy you have found your person, that you know what it is to be truly loved. There's nothing else like it in the cosmos.
Thank you for folding me into your prayers, that means a great deal to me. While, as you noted, my faith is in humanity, I do pray, in my own way, and I believe there is great value in focusing our hopes in that way. Thank you.
Right now my heart feels so big, like it just keeps growing to make space for all that has been given to me. You aren't in the lower ranks of that family because you've allowed me to see you, too. There is always a place for you at my table and I used to be a pastry chef, so you know dessert will be good. 💜🌈💜
All my love and gratitude,