On Magic and the Mundane

Personal essays and occasional poetry on love, sex, spirituality, and psychology.

[personal-essays]

I Hope You Get Allergies Again So You Remember Me

Last night I meditated and relaxed my body into a deep trance before drifting to sleep, as a way to reconnect with my inner world. I would say I was successful, because I woke up this morning from a vivid dream. I wrote this down on my journal, remembering all the details and themes, along with a short reflection.

The dreams was a collage of different scenes, but towards the end I saw my old best friend from high school. I asked her, "do you remember how we met in first year?" and she said, "we both had allergies." I told her, "I hope you get allergies again so you remember me."

When I woke up, I realized none of that was even true. We didn't meet in the first year - it was our second or third year - and I don't even remember having allergies. However I do miss her, that much is true.

Holly was such a sweet girl, and a good friend, yet I was terrible to her. She was a bit slow and awkward, and she would say things that were funny, except people were laughing at her, not with her. I felt that being around her embarrassed me sometimes, and I slowly kept my distance. I felt guilty that I couldn't be a better friend, and I couldn't stand up for her during times where she might have been bullied. Instead I left her, and we soon stopped talking and parted ways.

The last time I heard about her, she was trying to model and become a host. From her pictures I could see she grew up to be a beautiful, young woman, and I'm genuinely happy for her.

I haven't had contact with her in years, but if she magically appears and says she had allergies and thought of me, I know this shit is real.

[personal-essays]

Yoga Practice at the Park

This morning I went to the park to meditate and connect with nature. While I was there, I saw people gathering and sitting on mats. As I walked closer, I realized they were a group of yoga practitioners who practiced every morning at the park. I had seen some of them before, and had previously joined a couple of years back with my mom, so I knew this was a public group and that it was free.

The session had just finished, and I wanted to ask what time they started in the morning so I could join. I approached the teacher - he was a young Indian man with a bald head and a bright smile on his face - and he greeted me with his palms pressed together. He invited me to join tomorrow at 6:00 am, and I'm excited to get back to yoga practice after a while.

Now that I freed myself from hardcore religious thinking, I no longer have hesitations about joining yoga practice, thinking it may be demonic or worshiping the sun god. If anything, I'd welcome that change. My Filipino ancestors worshiped the spirits of nature and the seasons.

Yoga, today, is an open practice, and people from all over the world practice it for different reasons, usually for health and fitness goals. However, my interest in yoga is much more nuanced than just a form of physical exercise. Traditional Indian yoga combines spirituality with movement, breathwork, and ethical values that make it a more complete framework for living. This is why I'm excited to learn from a real yoga teacher from India. There is a difference between that and the way yoga is taught by studio teachers whose practice has typically become commercialized or stereotyped. It often feels stripped of its culture and origins, which I never resonated with.

Moreover, I'm deeply grateful to be living in a country where I get to experience different cultures and religions without discrimination or prejudice. Around 89% of the UAE population is made up of immigrants just like myself, so ironically I feel right at home here.

After our brief interaction, I found a place to lie down on the grass and felt the warm sun on my face and body. I continued my meditation until it became too hot and it was time to come back home.