So you have a what disorder?
I have almost fully developed Avoidant Personality Disorder and Dependent Personality Disorder (I have 90% of the symptoms). I start to have panic attacks when I'm commanded by someone I trust to do something I'm extremely uncomfortable with. One time it grew into a full-blown panic attack when my dad was trying to force me to make a phone call. My heart rate accelerated, I was bawling uncontrollably and trying to explain that I was extremely afraid of talking with strangers and also messing up (and my communication skills are bad anyway so you can guess how that went), and guess what the fuck happened. No one helped me with my panic attack, and I was still forced to make the phone call. Talk about a traumatic experience. Oh, I'm supposed to feel accomplished that I completed it in my most fake confident voice possible while feeling extreme fear? No, I'm sorry, I'm actually relieved that it's fucking over. And you are not the judge of what feelings I have about things I do NOT want to do.