「 ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ғʟʏɪɴɢ ᴇ ᴀ ɢ ʟ ᴇ; 」

ᴘᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴘᴀɴ. (always has a Peter plan). quality drugs and limousines, i'm half the man i used to be.

[scarlettsdarlingarchive]

“I’ll be perfectly fine, thank you.” Scarlett dismessed the coat being handed to her with a wave of her finger, holding her flute of champagne with her other hand as she walked out to the balcony, taking a glance at the city in front of her – and the fireworks that were still coloring thee sky.

[peterfxckingpan]

“Alrighty then,” Peter shrugged, deciding to drape the coat around his bare shoulders like a cape instead. He would have put it on if it was a few sizes bigger, but he didn’t feel like being the Hulk tonight. 

“Having fun Whiskers?”

[maggielawrences]

“Yeah, sure… That works.” 6 months ago, it was rare for Maggie to leave The Loft, even more – her bed. But now that she was in part two of her ‘avoiding her problems stage’, the thought of going to the place felt her with a bit of anxiety. But she would do it if that mean Peter was safe and warm. So, she turned and trekked in that direction.

“How’s my nephew?”

[peterfxckingpan]

“Still cute as hell,” Peter told her, folding his arms across his chest as they walked. He hadn’t had a drink in near forty minutes, the lack of a top up and the cool air sobering him slightly, now a little more aware of how cold it was. Fuck. 

“He’ll be starting school this year, that’s fucking with me.” 

While it didn’t feel like Wendy telling him she was pregnant was so many New Years Eve’s before, he knew time was slipping through his fingers like grains of sand in an hourglass. 

“He’s a proper little lad now.”

[maggielawrences]

“Careful, Pan. You’re starting to sound like old me.” It was said with her usual teasing lilt but at the same time, Maggie did have her concerns. But she didn’t pry more than what Wendy told her and what Peter was willing to share. She knew better than anyone being told what to do was the worst way to get better.

“Depends. Head in where? Because I’ll pass if it’s the Sheep or something.”

[peterfxckingpan]

“The Loft?” He asked, feeling a sudden urge to go home and realising then that somewhere along the line that had stopped being the apartment he shared with his fiancé and son. 

[wendyclosed]

“Do you know how fucking happy it would make me to see you enjoy yourself, Peter? To see you really enjoy yourself, as compared to whatever fuck kind of show this is? To fucking see you smile, Pete–” she had to stop herself at that moment, swallowing back raw emotion in a way that had been the only way she’d been able to manage the last two years.

“I would do anything to see that, don’t you get that?”

[peterfxckingpan]

Her words struck a chord with him whether they intended to or not, the last two years tainted by the ghosts on his back. That darkness had seeped into every aspect of his life, his relationship with Wendy suffering more than anything else. 

He had let them slowly drown in a bid to keep his head above water. 

A shiver caught him, a combination of cold London air and the frost that existed between the pair of them. 

“What can you do? What can anyone do?” Peter asked, his voice cracking slightly. As fine as he tried to pretend he was, he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. 

“I killed someone, Wendy. I took someone’s life and I know in my heart that it had to be done. It’s why my family is still intact today but I look at you.. It’s all I see.”

[wendyclosed]

Wendy’s arm fell to  limp to her side as he pulled away, not flinching as he snapped at her but her jaw tightening. 

“Is that what you want, Peter, you want eighteen year old Wendy?” she asked him, her voice falsely cheery and dangeorusly sweet. “You want strung out Wendy, drinking vodka like water just to function? Is that what would make this evening more enjoyable for you?”

[peterfxckingpan]

“What do I want.. What do I want.. What do I want,” Peter near chanted, a mocking melody with no real answer to offer her. At five it had been a racecar, at fifteen it was a roof over his head and now at nearly twenty five it was a few moments of peace from the demons in his head. 

“I want whatever Wendy it is that won’t make some sort of comment every time I try to enjoy myself for just a little while. Is she in there?” Peter asked as he turned to her, looking at her properly for the first time in weeks, even if it was through drunken eyes. 

“Feels like it’s been a while.”

[maggielawrences]

“It’s a sensible gift. What were you expecting? Whiskey?” Maggie was never one to hold her tongue so it should come to no surprise that she’d shade Peter without any regard or hesitation. When her friends made poor choices, she was the one on the sidelines to tell them to get their shit together.

“Now if only the body count around us would just stop dropping, yeah?”

[peterfxckingpan]

“Whiskey I could have done with,” Peter admitted, a far cry from the person just a few years before who would have to be carried home after one too many pints. He still didn’t like the taste of spirits, but at least they helped him get some sleep. 

He could finally understand his brother a little better now. 

“Let’s not hope for miracles Mags, as long as this place is still standing, people will keep dropping.”

Peter rubbed his hands together, a shiver running through him. 

“You wanna head in?”

[wendyclosed]

“Remember when Maggie keeled off in the snow years back during that bad storm? Remember how sick she got? That’s what’s going to happen to you if you don’t get inside and get warmed up, come on…” she made an attempt to make a grab for his arm, her sigh showing in her breath from the chill in the air.

[peterfxckingpan]

Peter squirmed away from her as if her touch burned, his expression looking closer to irritated than anything else. 

“Can you lay the fuck off for one night?” 

By now, he didn’t buy into the ‘new year, new me’ bullshit, but he at least hoped that the pair of them could take an evening off from a looped argument they had been having for weeks now. He wasn’t sure anymore if he had a fiancé or a headache. 

“Ressurect Wendy twenty twelve for a few hours or something, least she knew how to have some fun.” 

[maggielawrences]

“Doesn’t work for guys, you dunce. Your nipples were already free.” Maggie quirked an eyebrow, chucking mirthlessly at Peter’s last statement. True, they always made it – but at what cost?

“Does it count as making it if we sorta just stumbled through it?”

[peterfxckingpan]

“Mine weren’t, they were oppressed by a shirt I got for Christmas. Clothes for Christmas.. What the fuck is that.” Peter asked redundantly, his aversion to anything that even slightly resembled adulthood still apparent despite being a reluctant one for some time now. 

“Stumbled, fell, crawled. We’re here aren’t we? Still counts in my eyes.”

If asked six months earlier would he have seen himself at this point, Peter’s honest answer would have been no. He got there -- he just wasn’t sure all of him did. 

[maggielawrences]

“Peter, please put your fucking jumper on. See? I said ‘please’.”

[peterfxckingpan]

“FREE THE NIPPLE MAGGIE!” Peter exclaimed, with as much conviction as a protestor outside the House of Parliament would. 

“We made it to another year, brilliant.” 

[wendyclosed]

Wendy eyed him, unimpressed. She had half a mind to ask him if he had had anything to drink, but she didn’t feel like starting the New Year with that argument. 

“You’re going to catch your death, Pete, ” she informed him, pulling at her gloves. “Might be a time to head in, don’t you think?”

[peterfxckingpan]

Peter made a show of checking his wrist for a watch they both knew that he didn’t wear, shrugging his shoulders shortly after. 

“Nope. Don’t think so. I’m fine as I am.”

As long as he kept drinking, it wasn’t that cold. 

[peterfxckingpan]

“No, I’m not cold.” Peter lied through chattering teeth, running around shirtless with ‘Happy New Year’ drawn on his chest seemed like a good idea at the time. Then the weather dropped closer to zero degrees than ten. 

“My commitment to the cause warms me, happy fucking New Year innit!” 

[wendyclosed]

Wendy laughed aloud at the shithole declaration, because she couldn’t deny it as truth. However, looking around, a bit of her did miss the place. It came with a weird sense of security, brotherhood and loyalty. It had been the first place where she hadn’t just been a Darling, she’d been able to be just Wendy as well.

“Watch out or you’ll crack your head open,” she warned him, finding it ironic how often she’d been giving her son the exact same warning lately. Her heels clacked against the wooden floor as she went down the direction of their old room, opening a box that they’d left in the closet for no other reason but that they didn’t have use for the stuff inside it in the immediate transition. 

“These good enough to get back to ours?” she asked, appearing from the hall way, waving a pair of beat up sneakers at him.

[peterfxckingpan]

“My old air max,” Peter said excitedly, closing the lid on the bin in the kitchen that was now the new home to the shoes he’d just taken off. He took the trainers from her, examining the label on the tongue for where he always put his initials. 

He tended to brand most of his possessions, something he’d done since he’d lived on the streets. Made people steal from him a little more difficult. 

“I wore these to gym, the whole eight times I went.”

Working out tended to bore him, he liked going for jogs when the summer weather was good but otherwise he tended to just give it a miss. 

He placed the shoes on, kneeling down to do up his laces before he was all set. 

“Boom. There. You wanna hang out here a bit or should we head back to ours?”

[ginnysarver]

Ginny bit her lip as she watched Peter make his little scene, trying to hide her laugh. “Not all of us live our life like a Macklemore song,” she teased him, giving him a gentle pat on his shoulder as she straightened herself up, steady from the almost fall.

“Well it’s a good thing you weren’t wearing high heels at the wedding,” she chuckled, slipping off both her shoes and scooping them up, not about to walk in uneven shoes. “I don’t think you have the calves to pull them off. It wouldn’t be so hot.”

[peterfxckingpan]

“Maybe that’s everyone’s problem around here? They don’t mackle enough.” Peter offered, stating his theory like absolute fact. He was distracted from his scientific analyses by the image of himself in heels at John and Whiskey’s wedding, now that would have been a sight. 

“I think I would have completely upstaged the bride and the bridesmaids and made some enemies over it,” He joked. 

“Though I don’t think I need the extra height, do you?” He asked, looking down at her. Standing at a grand six foot three, Peter already felt like a giant in most situations, a few more inches onto that and he’s sure he’d be classed in the same height bracket as the Loch Ness monster and Godzilla. 

[wendyclosed]

She continued to pout as he kissed the side of her head, letting out a pathetic sound that would have been accompanied with a whine of ‘It’s not faaaair’ had she been about twelve years younger.

It was amazing, she had to admit that. Watching a little wrinkle-faced bundle of blankets turn into a chubby cheeked boy with increasingly thick wisps of blonde hair, who loved to munch on bits of toast with his approximately two teeth and still managed to look stunned every time he landed on his bottom after an attempt to walk. He was all Peter, and Wendy never stopped being stunned herself when she caught bits of herself in her son.

“We’re not letting him be spoiled,” Wendy reminded him, slipping an arm around his middle as they continued on their way. 

[peterfxckingpan]

“He’s not going to be spoiled,” Peter was adamant about that, just about managing to bite back a like you lot were. That’s a quality he doesn’t appreciate in anyone, especially not something he’d like to see in their son. 

Money didn’t equate happiness, he’d learned that over time. 

“But it is a pretty special one, it’s his first birthday. He’s been existing in all his cuteness for a whole spin around the sun, we can celebrate that a little bit.” 

A whole year and they’d managed not to fuck up this parenting thing too bad, that alone deserved some sort of do. 

When the pair of them reached the Loft, he let himself in with the old key that still sat on his keychain next to the newer one for their place. As always, the door wasn’t properly locked. Guys. 

“Still a shithole,” Peter announced to her with nothing but affection for the place as he stepped into the living room, no sleeping bodies on the floor this evening though the pillows and duvet suggested there recently had been.

“Right babe,” Peter addressed her as he took off the shoes he was wearing, just about managing to talk and balance himself by hopping on one foot. 

“Anything in a size twelve.” 

[curlyrnoble-blog1]

He put some thought on that and nodded. Yes, he had to admit, nothing was what he had been doing the whole afternoon – but he would never consider his ball bouncing as “nothing”.

“I’m testing my reflexes.” 

He shrugged, catching the ball as it came back to him.

“They are great, by the way.”

[peterfxckingpan]

“So I can see,” Peter agreed, not seeking much more of a display to Robbie’s claims than he already had. He held up his hand for Robbie to toss him the ball, not sure whether he would or not. 

“Seen much of Silver lately?”

[peterfxckingpan]

text / magter.

Maggie: Bloody hell pietro

Maggie: what did you do?

Peter: Got barrrred from Toys R Us

Peter: the one off Brent Cross 😒

Peter: I knocked over a Lego statue thing completely by mistake and everyone was in my face about it

Peter: Twats

Peter: What you been up too

[darlingjohn-blog]

“Should I write a book?” John asked as if Peter’s words would have sparked an idea. Such events were pompous enough to come up with a successful work of fiction.

“I will wait for another invitation. I like it when they beg.”

[peterfxckingpan]

“Please, the world needs some sort of tell all from you. The Life and Times of John Darling.”

Peter laughed at him, shaking his head good-naturedly. 

“Easy, it’s not 50 Shades of Parliament.”