Peter Evans

We're all dead in the end

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

Her knee-jerk response would have been to quickly stand and make sure he really was as stable as he seemed to think, but she managed to suppress the urge. Instead she took her time getting to her feet, doing her best to feign indifference on all fronts. “Lead on, then.”

[peterxevans]

Peter slowly walked around the aisles to follow the trail of the animal, peeking around the corner in case it happened to be violent.  Thankfully, all seemed to be well.  A few bags of dog food were open and spilled onto the floor, the dog treats on the lower floors were all but gone; and on the far end of the hall lay the golden retriever behind the mess.

“Well.”  Peter turned to whisper to Amelia.  “I guess that answers that question.”

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

Amelia turned hear head to the side, looking towards where he was pointing for a brief moment before bringing it back to lean against the wall behind her once more. She was still brooding and didn’t have the energy for optimism. “We haven’t heard anything. If there was a dog it’s probably dead by now.”

[peterxevans]

“Or it’s asleep, or hurt.”  Peter rolled his eyes.  “Optimist you are not.“  He stood up a bit shakily, a few bones in his knees popping as he straightened out.  “Come on, the least we can do is find out.”

[ixamxghostxnow-deactivated20170]

peterxevans Michael hummed as he looked around the room, taking painting after painting off the wall,“ I wonder If I will find a safe. Dude could afford first editions, probably had enough cash to have a safe. Worlds over, might as well gather trinkets.”

[peterxevans]

“You always grave rob the instant you enter someone’s house?”  Peter called, turning slowly and simply watching the man work.  “People lived here, kid.  Have some respect for the dead.”

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

“Thanks.” She said, a bit stiffly, scooting the bottle over to her side. After a moment she finally glanced over at him. “How are you feeling now? And if you say one more thing about me caring I may just shoot you to prove you wrong.”

[peterxevans]

“Better.”  Peter admitted, shrugging as though still indifferent.  “And don’t worry, I think I’ve gnawed on that bone long enough for the time being.  Speaking of, I think there actually is a dog in here.”

Peter pointed down a corner where a trail of unmistakable dog prints had circled around an aisle.  It was the one that contained the dog food.

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

Amelia didn’t even respond, just fumed silently. She hated it when people assumed her to be naive or somehow sheltered from the truly depraved things humans were capable of. She wasn’t an idiot and she certainly wasn’t sheltered. It shouldn’t bother her what he thought, but she was irritated and bothered nonetheless.

[peterxevans]

Peter took a larger swig of the water, gulping it down before putting the bottle down with a sigh.  He held it to the side so it was near her, the bottle still nearly halfway full.  “... There.  You’ll need it.”

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

“I’m well aware, thank you.” It came out more snappish than she’d intended, and she scooted back to lean against the wall, pointedly not looking at him. “Like I said before, any decent person would help. Don’t make this out to be anything more than it is.”

[peterxevans]

“Decent people don’t exist anymore.  And if they do then they’re zombie bait later.”  Peter sighed, perfectly satisfied with not making eye-contact.  “It’s not worth it.”

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

“Wasting it would imply that it isn’t being put to use, and it is.” She readjusted herself now that he seemed to be on the mend, sitting back a bit so that she was no longer invading his personal space. “Your gratitude is overwhelming.”

[peterxevans]

“I told you, it’s easier not to care.  Just leave-”  He had to stop to cough, taking another sip of water before continuing.  “Trust me on this.  It’s easier to just be indifferent to people.  It hurts less in the end.”

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

Amelia quieted while he focused on regulating his breathing, hoping it would keep him from talking as well. She wanted to give him so sort of reassurance that this wasn’t anything to be embarrassed by, at least as far as she was concerned, but felt it would just have the opposite effect if she tried. 

When he finally seemed to be getting proper breaths in Amelia grabbed the water, took the cap off, and slid it in front of him. “When you think you’re ready try taking small sips.”

[peterxevans]

Taking a few moments to be sure his breathing was steady, Peter hesitantly took the bottle from her, slurping up a small sip and forcing himself to swallow.

“And now you’re wasting water.”  He wheezed, giving her side glances between sips.  “Hope you’re happy.”

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

“You stop talking,” she said, dismissively ignoring his claims that she cared. “I’m helping you regardless so it’s best you just accept that now.” Besides, it was just because she was a professional, right? Anyone else with experience in these matters would help; at least that’s what she told herself. 

“You’re doing well. Can you try pursing your lips more? Like you’re breathing through a straw.”

[peterxevans]

Peter had a thousand jokes running through his mind to distract himself from what was happening, but he lacked the strength to say any of them.  Dryly licking his lips again, he reluctantly obeyed, stubbornly and childishly refusing to look at her.

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

She had grabbed Peter’s arm to try and ease his fall, but only succeeded in being pulled down herself. At least she’d managed to not knock into him like an idiot. Now sitting next to him on the floor, Amelia slid the water bottle to the side for a moment and placed a hand on his back. “I know it’s difficult,” she said with reassuring calmness, “but try taking deep breaths from your abdomen. There’s no rush, just focus on breathing more slowly.”  

[peterxevans]

Peter gave a brief nod, changing his speed from panting to occasional gasps with slow exhales.  It was the best he could manage.

“Don’t... worry.... about me.”  He whispered between breaths, weakly trying to push her away.  “Stop... caring.”

[peterxevans]

What do you want most out of life?

A place to hole up, peace and quiet; and the strength to get a quick, unattached, painless death.

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

Amelia relieved herself of her ridiculous backpack once more and then extracted a water bottle. She moved towards him and put a hand on his upper arm, looking up at him and bracing herself for any manner of erratic reactions to her proximity. 

“We’re going to sort this out.” She promised. “Can you sit?”

[peterxevans]

Peter practically fell to the ground in an answer, his stability having slipped just after she asked.  He felt pathetic sitting there, heaving for breath and practically overheating.  He wasn’t sweating; probably a sign of dehydration.  Great, another tick on the list of things wrong with him.

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

“No.” She didn’t raise her voice to match his, but it was still forceful. “I’m not that kind of person and I’m not going to pretend that I don’t want to help.” She paused. “Just… know that the offer is always on the table.” 

[peterxevans]

“I don’t need it.”  He grumbled.  “Just leave me alone.  I don’t want anything.  Just...”  A harsh breath, and he pressed his hand against the wall.  It was getting harder to breathe, the nausea was coming back.  “I’m...”  He clutched at his stomach, now leaning his whole body on the wall.

“I’m not ok.”

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

Amelia almost ran into him when he suddenly stopped and turned, but she didn’t step back or cower at the outburst. Though his question was rhetorical she answer anyway, her tone somber and understanding. “No, I’m not.” She’d worked with young women struggling with eating disorders before, but this was different. 

“What can I do?” She asked softly.

[peterxevans]

"Nothing.”  He huffed.  “We’re going to find some food, go back to the mansion, and then I’m going to go to bed because, surprise surprise, I’m exhausted.  Just leave me the fuck alone.”

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

Amelia followed, her legs having to move double-time just to keep up with him. “Don’t be a wise-ass, it doesn’t suit you.” Maybe it did a little, but he really didn’t need to hear that. “And since you seem to have rejected my offer you’ll now get to hear all about the horrors malnutrition can wreak on your body.” She took a breath and then let lose.

“First the fatigue sets in, which you’re clearly no stranger to at this point, while the muscles in the body are left without sufficient strength to carry out simple daily tasks. There’s the irritability, dizziness, poor concentration, and confusion- all very debilitating symptoms considering our current predicament. Then the immune system becomes completely-”

[peterxevans]

“Alright, fine!”  Peter shouted, turning on his heel to stare at the woman.  “I haven’t eaten since two nights ago because I can’t find the motivation to actually eat anything or find anything to eat; and I haven’t even had anything besides beans since I got to that mansion!”

“There, I’m depressed, starving, and malnourished; are you happy now?”

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

Amelia stopped walking the instant she heard, not about to pretend she’d missed it.

“How’s this…” She crossed her arms and fixed him with a probing stare before getting to the offer. “If you can look me in the eye and tell me you are properly nourishing yourself I won’t comment on the ballad your stomach is currently singing.”

[peterxevans]

“My stomach is singing?”  Peter said quickly, not looking back and instead walking a bit faster down the aisle to the gardening area.  “I didn’t know it could do that."

[dr-ameliabryant-deactivated2015]

Amelia loved dogs and couldn’t help but smile through the residual disappointment, following behind him as she answered. “That would be about the only thing that could put this situation right. I’m to the point where I would almost kill for a jar of peanut butter.” It had been, hands down, one of her favorite perks of moving to America.

[peterxevans]

“Well you have the jar.”  Peter insisted, pointing back at it.  “What you lack is the peanut butter.”

For a moment Peter’s stomach whined, followed by a low grumble as it demanded food.  He paused for only a second, hoping Amelia didn’t hear or notice the situation before he moved on.