Itâs so nice to see how chill the designers of Harryâs cardigan are being about people making replicas, they couldâve reacted badly to so many people âstealingâ their design but now they have actually released the pattern and all the measurements. I have attached them if anyone is interested.
Summary: How do you deal with your debilitating, stupid, soul-destroying crush on your childhood best friend, Tom? Apparently, by trying to set him up with someone else.
Word Count: 7.4K
Warnings: maybe smut??, just know itâs 18+, swearing, idiots to lovers shenanigans
Mini Playlist: Dress by Taylor Swift // Pretty Please by Dua Lipa // Sugar by BrockhamptonÂ
series masterlist // part one // part two // part three // part four // part five
Thanks to my angelic beta @hypnotized-so-mesmerizedâ! đĽ°
this was everything I needed AND MORE (also loving the name change!)
UGH I hope you don't stop here but if you do this is...a really perfect ending????? I dunno if it's possible to be in love with someones talent but if it is I'm like 10/10, on the floor, tripping over my feet in love with your work đ
Summary: How do you deal with your debilitating, stupid, soul-destroying crush on your childhood best friend, Tom? Apparently, by trying to set him up with someone else.
Word Count: 5.1K
Warnings: swearing, the usual pining and stupidity, 18+ for sure (smuttish? Smut? I donât believe in spoilers)
Mini Playlist: Dance To This by Troye Sivan ft Ariana Grande // Sober by Lorde // A Kiss by The Driver Era // New Romantics by Taylor Swift
series masterlist // part one // part two // part three // part four
Thanks to my babe of a beta-reader @hypnotized-so-mesmerizedâ!!! â¤ď¸
âIâm not about colourless vegetables, like cauliflower is just the suckier version of broccoli and carrots are lightyears better than parsnips,â - if that's not THE BEST argument for why colourless veggies are shit I dunno what is
Also - Thomas? Hawaiian pizza? Absolutely not you HEATHEN
Ugh I love this fic so much it should be illegal for one person to be this talented I need mooorreeeeee đđđ
Summary: How do you deal with your debilitating, stupid, soul-destroying crush on your childhood best friend, Tom? Apparently, by trying to set him up with someone else.
Word Count: 6.2K
Warnings: idiots to lovers, even more chaotic, stupid levels of pining and unresolved sexual tension, an introspective, insecure reader, a very innocent mention (blink and youâll miss it) of choking kink??
Mini-playlist: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac // The Louvre by Lorde // A Kiss by The Driver Era // goodnight n go by Ariana Grande
series masterlist // part one // part two // part three
Thanks to my superstar beta @hypnotized-so-mesmerizedâ!!! đ
Damn chapter 2, that little scene near the in Pretty Please, had me blushing a little ngl. I read stuff that youâve written, and I wonder how the hell did something like 50 shades get published when a mildly explicit scene was hotter than the books and movies combined. I hope you write a chapter 3, and the reader eventually gets laid after some good olâ fashioned slowburn, cause I feel like thatâs what youâll do to keep us entertained, but yeah loved it!!!!!!!!!!!
iâm very obsessed with the idea that like the act of sex isnât where itâs at, itâs all about the tension, desire and the prelude/foreplay to sex - the fic is literally named after pretty please by dua lipa which is a song about sexual tension and itâs a weird mix of silliness and unresolved (when will it be resolved???) sexual tension đ
chapter three is coming soon and weâll see what happens!!
I keep thinking about this and the more I do the more I realise that it's never the actual smut im enjoying when I'm reading a fiction (I mean yeah, goddamit that's a really good part BUT) but the build up and the indecision and the tension??? That is the mark of excellent fanfiction, and also why I bloody loved chapter 2 and this entire thing from start to finish
Do you follow any accounts that have really good Peter Parker imagines, one-shots, reactions etc?
I followe SO MANY GREAT ACCOUNTS! And Iâm probably going to making a recriminations post at some point but here are a few at the top of my head as iâm still waking up! (If I didnât include its honestly because iâm half asleep and I just couldnât remember iâm sorry! You know I love your things)
@tomsrebeleyebrow đ
@heyhihellowhatsup0 â¨
@peteywillproceed â¨
@angelic-holland â¨
(My brain couldnât remember any more accounts I WILL MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THE REST OF YOU I SWEAR)
Authorâs Note: Hi guys! Whew, this was a journey! Over 6k words and I am exhausted! Itâs been through like ten name changes and five rewrites and I still think it sucks ass but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! x
Summary: You made the mistake of falling for a guy. He broke your heart. Moving on was the easiest thing in the world - until it wasnât.
Word Count: 6.2k
Your breathing was heavy, ragged as lips trailed across your skin and sucked bruises on your ribs. You gasped as his fingers trailed across your chest, gathering you in his arms when he crawled back up to your lips and crashed into you like a wave breaking against a shore.
You were happy.
So happy.
Your heart swelling with joy as he laced his hands in yours and whispered quiet promises against your lips.
You didnât know if it was light or dark. Morning or night. All you knew was the fire flooding your veins and the electricity setting your nerves alight.
The âI love yousâ and the promises of forever.
And then it all came crashing down.
*three months later*
Lights blared bright in your eyes, music so loud it stung your ears. Your hands were sweaty, wrapped around a beer bottle youâd held for so long it was warm and frothy. But it was the only thing keeping you grounded as you tossed your hair on the dancefloor and moved through the crowd of writhing bodies.
âYou know how much trouble weâre in, right?â
You swung around, arms in the air and sight tainted by the haze of vodka. âStop being such a buzzkill Houdini! Twat isnât back till Tuesday.â
âHoudini? Thatâs a new one,â Harry raised an eyebrow and ignored your swipe at his brother, eyeing you warily as you stumbled over his foot. âMaybe cool it with the shots now?â
You cackled, pink and blue strobe lights slicing through your best friendâs body as you twisted and curved in time to the music. âMaybe cool it with the mothering, Harriet.â
âIâm only mothering you because you threw an illegal party in my brotherâs house.â
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, finally stopping dancing when he gave you the âIâm serious, youâre an idiotâ look heâd perfected the first time youâd thrown a party. Except that time, it had been in your own house, and not your secret exâŚwhateverâs.
âCome on, like goodie-two-shoes-Tommy is ever gonna know.â
âHe might, Y/n,â Harry shrugged, widening his arms âhow are you planning on hiding the fact that three hundred people trashed his house?â
âBy not telling him. Donât pretend youâre not enjoying this,â you grinned, moving your hips and dragging him back onto the dance floor âfor one night your brother isnât breathing down your neck, enjoy it and live a little! We can figure the rest out in the morning.â
He started to protest, pushing against your hands, but you strengthened your grip and pulled him into the crowd, ignoring the grunts from the people nearby. You loved Harry, you really did, youâd grown up with his annoying-as-fuck tendency to be a tattle tale, put up with the refusal to go out on a school night for years, and until youâd gotten involved with Tom youâd never questioned it.
But one night was all it took for everything you thought youâd known about your best friendâs brother to be completely shattered. And since then? Well, you didnât exactly give a shit someone had smashed his Rolex tonight.
âYou realise you could just admit the break-up upset you, right?â Harry laughed as you forced him to move âyou donât need to go full on Wild Child instead of talking about your emotions.â
âIt was one night, there wasnât a break-up, and your brother can get fucked,â you replied a little too quickly, wishing you were talking about anything else.
âIâm just saying, there are healthier ways to deal with getting your heart broken than destroying his house.â
You snorted and took a sip of your beer, almost gagging at the staleness. âThe bloke already hates me, whatâs a little property damage between enemies?â
âAbout ÂŁ50,000 worth of legal fees.â
âWow, youâre really bringing the heat tonight, arenât you Holland?â you smirked, widening your eyes âalmost like you learned from the best.â
âYeah, Samâs really good at one-liners,â he grinned in reply, and you punched his shoulder playfully.
Suddenly, you felt eyes on you, the unmistakable sensation of someone looking you over. You spun in a circle, zeroing in on every distracted party goer until you found the bright blue eyes burrowing under your skin and making you burn all over.
Nudging Harry, you pointed over his shoulder and forced him to turn around. âHey, whoâs that?â
âErrâŚI think his nameâs Josh?â he gave you a funny look, like he couldnât quite figure out the sudden change of topic. âHeâs one of Samâs mates from catering.â
âIs he single?â
Harry sighed at your smirk, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. âJesus, Y/n, why would I know? If youâre so determined to get over Tom, go snog him or something.â
âFor your information,â you grinned, starting to back away through the crowd âIâm completely over the heathen, but if it takes me snogging a cute guy to prove that to you, I guess I wonât complain.â
Harry had all but disappeared by the time you finished your sentence, but you knew heâd heard you when his middle finger shot up from somewhere in the middle of the heaving mass of partygoers, and you chuckled to yourself. You needed a distraction tonight, anything to not have to think about Tom and the trail of broken hearts heâd left in his wake three months ago.
Turning around, you were fully prepared to go and find Josh and put this whole mess behind you, when you slammed into a chest so hard you wouldâve fallen over if it wasnât for strong arms pulling you back up.
âShit, sorry, I didnât meanâŚâ you trailed off, spotting the sandy blond hair and cocky smirk âactually, you know what? I totally did mean to do that.â
âJust like you totally meant to loudly shout your intentions to make out with me?â Josh raised an eyebrow, and you felt heat rise to your cheeks. Thank God for foundation.
âObviously, how else would you have known?â
Before he could answer, youâd pulled him down to your height and slammed your lips against his, surprise jolting through your body when you realised he was actually a good kisser. You were just getting into it, letting your hands slide into his hair, when a loud shout brought the room to a standstill and silenced the music.
âWhat the FUCK is going on?â
You jerked away from Josh, youâd recognise that voice anywhere, and spun towards the kitchen table. Tom was on top of it, his face livid and full of thunder, his eyes searching the room for an explanation. âWell?â
You gulped, goosebumps erupting across your body as the realisation of what youâd done set in. But then you remembered, Tom wasnât even meant to be back from filming for another three days - why the hell was he here?
âItâs just a party, man,â someone shouted from the crowd.
âYes, Iâm aware of what it is,â Tom replied drily, his eyes finally landing on you âand I know exactly whoâs responsible for it.â
His words sent a chill down your spine, the eye contact more than youâd had in three months from him. It felt funny finally seeing him after all this time, like youâd found a missing piece to a puzzle you couldnât finish, but the cold look he was giving you was barely any different to how youâd left him.
He was looking between you and Josh, his tongue pressed against his cheek, and for some inexplicable reason you felt guilty. Like youâd been caught doing something illegal instead of just exercising your right to kiss as many damn people you fancied.
Finally, Tom set his jaw and tore his eyes away from you, the loss leaving you empty.
His voice dropped dangerously. âAll of you â get the fuck out of my house.â
***
A few days later, you were hanging your clothes out to dry when your phone buzzed in your pocket. You pushed a peg into your mouth and dragged it out cack-handed, juggling the pile of washing and the box of clean clothes as you struggled to read the caller ID.
âHave you heard from him?â you asked earnestly into the phone, barely breathing as you waited for a response.
âNice to talk to you too, cheery,â Harry grumbled, the sound of sleep clogging his voice.
âAre you seriously just waking up? Itâs eleven oâclock!â
âDid you forget I was twenty-one yesterday?â he replied âIâm pretty sure I wasnât in bed until six am.â
âOh, right, yeah I saw those pictures.â
âYeah so youâll forgive me if Iâm not completely awake yet.â
You ran a thumb over your lip, your eyes dropping to the pile of crinkled washing on the grass. Youâd only meant to put it there for a second, but youâd forgotten how much it had rained last night and now the edges were stained with mud and your once clean bedsheets were stained green.
âTypical,â you muttered, trying to dust some of it off. Why did it always feel like this? Like when you were finally taking a step forward, something else was dragging you back two. It was only a minor thing, you could always just rewash them - but it wasnât just the sheets, was it? Ever sinceâŚthat night, youâd felt like you were walking through treacle, balancing on a knifeâs edge you hadnât seen before stepping into the unknown.
âWhat was that?â Harry asked, the sound of pots clanging in the background jerking you back to your conversation.
âOh nothing, I just um, I just dropped some washing. Are you cooking?â
âUmâŚyeah, sure that sounds good â oh, Tom, hey.â Your best friendâs tone suddenly flipped like a switch, the audible gulp ringing through the handset. You barely had time to wonder why he was acting so cagey about cooking when a rugged voice began muttering in the background. You froze, your grip on your basket loosening as you stepped through the door.
You could barely hear what they were saying, but then Harryâs voice reappeared on the other end of the receiver, a slight nervous wobble creeping in. âHey, err Y/n?â
âYeah?â you replied, shaking off your shock and beginning to throw the ruined sheets back into the wash.
âTom wants to talk to you.â
âWell tell him that-â
âHeâs not an owl, Y/n,â Tom cut you off. âHe doesnât have to pass messages back and forth.â
Heat rose in your cheeks, frustration flowing through your veins as you balled your hands into fists and raked them through your hair. Somehow his voice was even more annoying than before. âDonât quote Harry Potter at me, Thomas, especially when youâre just as guilty of doing it.â
âDoing what, exactly? Youâre the one that trashed my house.â
âPassing messages through Harry! You didnât exactly have the balls to tell me yourself you were running off to Colorado for three months.â
âBecause you blocked my number!â
You sighed, eyes flicking towards the timer on the washing machine. It was true youâd blocked Tomâs number, but three months ago youâd been lying in his bed talking about how you felt and finally, finally admitting everything youâd kept bottled up since you were fourteen.
And then the next day heâd told you it was a mistake.
Went running off to America like a coward.
Leaving Harry to pick up the pieces and you to realise that everything you thought you couldâve had was pure fantasy.
So yes, youâd blocked his number. But it wasnât like you hadnât had a reason, and he had to know that. There was no way he could be that thick.
âWhat do you want, Tom?â you said at last, leaning against the machines. Maybe if you just let him say what he had to say this would all be over and you could go back to not giving a fuck.
Suddenly, the line clicked and the monotonous hum of the phone shutting down rang in your ear.
âWhat theâŚ?â you trailed off, pulling the phone away from your ear to stare at it in shock. Had heâŚjust called youâŚto argue with youâŚand then hung up on you?
Beside you, the door began to creak open and you jumped into the air, your phone flying across the room and landing face up on the tiles. You swore under your breath, bending down to retrieve it just as you felt someone else step into the room behind you.
âSorry, Iâll just be a- Tom? Your mouth fell open at the sight of the boy stood in front of you, the brown curls youâd run your hands through only months ago gone, the light youâd known in his eyes dead and scattered amongst the ashes.
âI think we need to talk,â he said slowly, holding his hands up as if you were going to shoot him âabout everything.â
Your mouth began to move, words flying around in your brain, but no sound came out as you struggled to piece together any semblance of thought. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI justâŚafter the other night I figured we needed to talk. Properly talk.â He reached for your hand but you snatched it away, your heart beating loudly in your ears.
âY/n, I knowâŚI know what I did was shitty. But I just need you to hear me out.â
You scoffed, backing away from him until you were pressed against the garden door. âYou think nowâs a good time for this?â
âI think the best time was three months ago when you were next to me in bed,â he bit his lip, and this time you looked at him. Like, really looked at him.
His jeans were stained in all manner of dodgy areas, his shirt the old Tesco one youâd got him as a joke for his birthday. He had huge, purple bags beneath his eyes, and his socks were two different colours, like heâd been in such a rush heâd forgotten to check; you didnât even bother to ask about the crocs.
âWell,â you whispered, letting out the breath you didnât know you were holding. âAt least you finally realised that.â
He nodded earnestly, moving towards you and freezing when you threw up your hand to stop him. âI did. Oh God, I did. I spent three months feeling like the shittest person in the world and I didnât know how to call you to explain.â
âSo you thought youâd accost me in my laundry room?â
âItâŚwasnât my best plan. But you didnât exactly make it easy for me to contact you.â
Your mouth fell open, your hand flying to your chest. âWatch it, Holland, or I might think you just tried to blame me for this whole mess.â
âThatâs not what I meant.â
âWell, it sure as hell sounded like that was what you meant!â He flinched as you raised your voice and your arms, but you didnât feel sorry for it. Youâd spent months feeling like a complete idiot, wishing youâd never even told him how you felt. And here he was, trying you blame you for the mess he caused. âSo tell me, Tom, just what exactly you think youâre doing here.
âI came to apologise-â
âThatâs a good start.â
âAnd to say that I meant what I saidâŚyâknow, before I left.â
You raised an eyebrow, leaning against the door frame with your arms crossed. Tom was halfway across the room now, his hands curled in front of him as he swiped them on his jeans. He was biting his lip, the glasses he didnât need halfway down the bridge of his nose and it took every inch of you not to break and run to him, fall into the arms you knew so well and forget it had all happened.
You knew what it was like, the vanilla and the cinnamon that would waft up your nose and remind you that you were home. The strength of the arms that would ground you and hold you to Earth. It was so tempting, so inviting to just go back - but where would that get you?
No, going back wasnât an option anymore. There was only forwards, where the path behind you was well trodden and full of tears.
âThatâs nice,â you said at last, shaking your head. âBut you canât really expect me to believe you.â
He sighed, his shoulders slumping when he realised you werenât giving in. You wondered if he knew how deep heâd cut you, what those words had meant to you and how youâd felt when heâd snatched them away. You wondered if Harry had told him everything that happened over the next few months, how youâd almost broken and yet from the outside you looked happier than ever. You almost hoped he knew how youâd bounced back. How you were fine now.
Or at least, how you pretended to be fine.
âMaybe this isnât the best place to do this,â he cast an eye round the room warily, and your skin bristled when his gaze finally landed on you. âCan we go up to your place?â
âAbsolutely not.â
The words were out of your mouth before you could think, shocking yourself more than you shocked Tom.
âWellâŚwill you come to mine?â
âSure, if I need to see Harry,â you responded as the washing machine pinged âis there anything else? My laundryâs done.â
âY/n, we need to talk about this,â he replied, his voice barely more than a whisper âyou canât just ignore me.â
You fixed him with a look, throwing the clean sheets into your basket with more force than necessary and walking towards him. You were so close you could smell his aftershave, different from his normal, more minty than you would have liked. You could see every hair, every line on his face, but it was the look in his eyes that broke you, the sadness that youâd felt for so many months hovering just within him too.
âNo, Tom, we donât,â your voice broke and fresh hot tears began to stream down your face. âThe time for talking about it was before you left for Colorado. NowâŚnowâs the time for me to move on, because you broke my heart Tom, you broke it.â
You were full on sobbing now, choking on your words as you spluttered through them. âYou smashed it into so many pieces that I couldnât find them all. And now youâre trying to smash it again, but I wonât allow it. I wonât allow you to take anymore of my heart than you already have.â
âI didnât-â
âI donât care Tom!â you screamed, but he barely flinched. You threw the basket down so hard it bounced on the floor and spilt the sheets again. âYou had all that time to find out, all that time to do something about it, and you didnât! So youâll have to forgive me when I say I donât want anything to do with you.â
âSo thatâs it then? Everything you said all those nights ago means nothing any more?â his voice was filled with a pain that cut you to the core, the wobble in his throat making your heart ache more than you expected.
âIt means everything, and thatâs the problem,â you sniffed, dropping your head to the floor.
You felt Tom draw closer, his body so close to yours that you could feel his heat. He lifted his fingers to your chin, catching your jaw and raising your head so your eyes met his.
âWhy does it have to be a problem?â
You paused, almost not saying it. âBecause I canât let you break me again.â
He nodded, backing away, his fingers leaving your chin and you felt empty from the loss. âIâm sorry.â
It was barely a whisper, just loud enough for you to hear but not quite deep enough for it to mean anything. He turned and started walking away, pausing at the door to look back at you. He opened his mouth to say something, his bottom lip wobbling, but he shut it again before any words came out.
Then he disappeared and let the door bang shut behind him.
Relief flooded your body, seeping through every crack in your bones and every fragment of your heart. You were done with the excuses, the comments, the desperate pleas from Harry that his brother was an idiot and too caught up with work to realise what heâd done wrong. You were busy too, but that hadnât ever made you spew a bunch of crap about loving someone since youâd seen them in the lunch room. It had never made you fill somebodyâs heart with hope only to crush it in the morning with just a few simple words and excuses blamed on alcohol.
The final click of the lock was enough to make you slide against the door. Sink down to the floor. Bury your head in your hands.
It was relief, that was what it was. That was what you had to tell yourself. So you could get back up again and walk back to your flat and make everything okay again.
It wasnât sadness.
It couldnât ever feel like sadness.
So why did it feel like it was?
***
âAre you sure you want to go tonight?â Harry asked as he watched you smudge your lips with red. âNobody will notice if youâre not there.â
You rolled your eyes at the dramatics, capping the lipstick tube with a satisfying click and spinning on your heel. âOh please, itâs a party â weâre not storming off to war.â
âYeah but itâsâŚTomâs party.â
âAnd last I checked we werenât exactly on speaking terms,â you shrugged, grabbing your bag from your bed. âHeâs not likely to come anywhere near me, thereâs going to be hundreds of people there.â
Harry shook his head and pushed himself off the door frame, fixing you with the look you were tired of getting. It had been two weeks since Tom had come to your flat and you were still nowhere near over it; not that youâd ever admit it, but youâd never been over it in the first place.
When Harry had mentioned that Tom was throwing a party to celebrate the release of his new movie, your immediate reaction had been words you couldnât repeat in front of a three year old. But then heâd turned on the puppy dog eyes and you were suddenly feeling bad about making him go it alone.
âYou could make friends with a plant pot, what do you need me there for?â youâd asked.
âYeaaahhhh, but whoâs going to stop me falling face first into that plant pot when Iâm pissed?â Harry had replied, grinning at your annoyed face.
âFine, but Iâm drinking the first thing in sight and youâre keeping Tom away from me.â
âWhat is it with you two? You spend half your time acting like you hate each other. Wouldnât it just be easier to, I donât know, suck it up and get together already?â Harry interrupted your thoughts, jerking you back to reality with a flick of his wrist.
You snorted. âWe tried that, didnât exactly work that well.â
âWell it might work a lot better if you actually talked to the guy.â
âDamn it Harry,â you slammed your palm against the door. âI donât want to talk to someone who told me he loved me and then ran three thousand miles away the next day!â
You could feel the sob building up in your chest, the one youâd buried so deep youâd forgotten it was even there. The walls seemed to tilt towards you as you stumbled into the hall, barely noticing as you slid against the kitchen door frame and forced air into your lungs. God you didnât want to talk about this, not now when everything youâd done to bury this had worked so well.
âBut you do want to talk to Tom! Maybe not the guy that broke your heart, but the guy youâve been in love with since we were fourteen,â Harry said, exasperated. âYouâre going around pretending like youâre over him, like you havenât thought about him in months. But you threw that party for the same reason you kissed that bloke for, and you know it!â
âAre we seriously fighting over your brother right now? Are you back to being the damn messenger, because I canâtâŚI canât keepâŚâ tears were spilling over your cheeks, searing your eyes and stinging the familiar patches of skin that had been stained with the same tears only a few months ago. You tried to breathe, tried to refocus your mind but the world was swimming and you could hardly see anymore through the blurry glass of your tears.
Before you could think, Harry had pulled you into his arms and smothered you against his chest, his hand coming up to stroke your hair. âSod the party, letâs just watch a movie and get some pizza.â
âNo, no, I want to go,â you mumbled against his chest âI need thisâŚI think. Just to see him and know that itâs all done, so I can move on and forget it ever happened.â
âFuck that, Y/n, letâs just stay here.â
âPlease? I really need this.â
Harry pushed you back gently, running a finger under your mascara stained eyes as he took a deep breath. You could see the indecision, the uncertainty at letting you step into the unknown written across his face. In this moment, it was you or his brother, and you hoped to God it was the latter. âThis is the last time?â
âThe last time,â you promised.
âWell,â he sighed, checking his watch, the long moment fading and passing into the night âI guess we have a party to get to.â
***
When you pulled up to Tomâs house, the lights were out and the curtains were drawn. You threw Harry a look, surprised that there was nobody spilling out of the doors and no music shaking the walls, but he didnât seem to notice it.
âErr, where is everybody?â you asked, peering out of the window for signs of life.
âHavenât the faintest,â Harry replied, pulling the handbrake on and reaching over you to open the door. âDo you wanna go in and Iâll catch up? I need to sort something quickly.â
You rolled your eyes and gathered your things from the backseat, feeling uneasy about the lack of people. âI canât believe youâre sending me in there alone.â
âItâs just for five minutes, youâll survive.â
âOr maybe I wonât and youâll be reading my eulogy.â
âI look forward to it,â Harry smirked âI can finally tell people how nasty you are.â
You punched him in the shoulder and stepped out of the car, taking a deep breath before starting towards the house. You felt stupid in the heels, the red lipstick suddenly feeling to garish and over the top.
You rolled your shoulders and set your jaw, running a hand nervously through your hair whilst the other clung tightly to your bag. The clack of your shoes against Tomâs gravel set your teeth on edge, and on impulse you reached down and pulled them off, enjoying the bite of the winter air against your hot feet.
By the time you reached the door, your confusion had only grown, because the house was completely silent and there were certainly no signs of a party. You spun around to find Harry and demand that he take you home, because it was nine oâclock, there was obviously no party, and you werenât facing Tom alone.
Except his car was gone.
You bit your lip in surprise, looking up and down the street in case heâd just moved the car to park it somewhere safer. But he was nowhere to be seen - the road was empty save for a man running to his van at the bottom. You rolled your eyes and reached for your phone, realising the guy was taking the piss and figuring that if you called him before you saw him again you might not actually murder him.
But your phone was gone and come to think of it Harry hadnât even been dressed for a party. What the hell was going on?
You debated knocking on another houseâs door and asking to borrow the phone, call for a cab and just go home. But it was late and you felt bad about disturbing people that were probably sleeping, all because your best friend was an arsehole and you were too much of a coward to knock on Tomâs door. At last, you gave in and walked back up the drive, pausing at the front door and bracing yourself to see him.
How the hell were you going to explain it? âOh sorry Tom, no I didnât actually mean to come here, Harry just thought it would be funny to play a prank and donât worry Iâll kill him myself the next time I see him.â
At least you looked nice, you thought, raising your hand to knock. At least he wouldnât think you were ugly and a bitch.
As you moved your hand towards the door, it suddenly swung inwards, the hallway dark and unlit. You gasped, stumbling backwards, peering fearfully into the house in case some burglar was about to come running straight past you. But as your eyes began adjusting to the light, you noticed something strange about the floor.
It was covered in rose petals.
âTom?â you called out nervously, stepping into the house. âTom? Itâs Y/n. Your front door is openâŚ?â
You moved deeper into the house, quietly closing the door behind you so you didnât wake him if he was sleeping. Keeping your hands against the wall in case you slipped, you made your way down the hall, noticing a soft glow coming from the kitchen. You paused when you reached the doorway, wondering if you shouldâve grabbed your keys or a weapon in case there really was a burglar in here.
But at the last second, you lost your footing and stumbled through the doorway, falling into the kitchen with a soft thud and gasp.
It took a second for you to process it all, but when you finally did you almost felt your heart stop. Fairy lights glittered over every inch of the wall, the floor here too covered with rose petals and flowers. The kitchen table, bowing in the middle just like everything else Tom had made on that bloody wood work course, was covered in a cloth, two plates and a single candle decorating the surface. You stared transfixed at the setup, your mouth falling open in shock.
And then Tom appeared.
Clutching the biggest bouquet of daisies youâd ever seen in your life.
âYou like it?â he whispered âI know daisies are your favourite.â
âWhatâŚwhat is all this?â you breathed, still gobsmacked by the softly glowing room.
Tom smiled, moving closer to you and setting the flowers on the table. âA really over the top apology.â
âThis is for me?â
âObviously, dummy,â he laughed, flinching when you smacked his arm. âHey! I spent money on these flowers, Iâll have you know!â
âAnd what a dreadful waste, Holland, donât you care about our environment?â You were joking but your breath was still caught, your brain trying to play catch up as the scene played in front of you, like you were watching this all happen to someone else. Someone luckier.
âI care more about you,â he replied, and somehow he was even closer than before. âI care more about you than anything else in my life. And I couldnât quite figure out how to explain that three months ago.â
âAnd you know now?â
He nodded, pulling you towards him. âI think I do, yes.â
âThen say it.â
His lips parted, his eyes caught on yours as he reached to cup your cheek. A waft of his aftershave made its way towards you, the mintiness of before replaced with the warm vanilla you remembered so well. The glasses were gone and he was wearing the burgundy suit youâd had too many dreams about to remember.Â
But in that moment, none of that mattered.Â
All you could think about in that moment was the way he was staring at you.
Like you were the most precious thing on Earth.
âThree months ago I told you how I wanted to spend forever with you, how youâre all Iâve thought about for years. How you consume every part of me, spend your days dancing in my mind and reminding me of everything we could have. But what I didnât tell you was why.
âBecause I didnât know. I didnât know why it is that I love you so much, and thatâs what scared me â the fact that I could feel something so deeply for you and have no rational explanation for it. So I thought the logical thing was that the feelings werenât real and they werenât that powerful, that if I tried to move on then weâd eventually forget and nothing would be lost.
âThose months away from you were torture, not knowing how badly you were hurting and why youâd blocked my number. I didnât realise how much of an ass I was until Harry flew out to America and practically beat down my door.â
âHarry went to America?â you interrupted him âwhen?â
Tom smiled, his thumb rubbing your cheek in slow circles. âThat weekend you thought he had that photography competition. He flew out to kick my ass and ask what the hell happened.â
âI wondered how he knew so much,â you chuckled quietly âit was like he came back from that weekend and he knew exactly what to say.â
âBecause thatâs Harry, he always knows exactly what to do,â Tom shrugged.
âTonight was his idea, wasnât it?â you grinned, watching as he blushed fuchsia.
âWell, the idea was. But I take full credit for putting it together!â
You laughed at his face, the crinkles in his smile and the dimples in his cheeks so familiar you could have drawn them blindfolded. You reached up to trace them, still not quite believing this was real, when just two weeks ago you thought heâd left that laundry room and walked out of your life forever.
âHey Tom?â you murmured, wrapping your fingers around his. âTwo weeks ago when you came to see meâŚhow did you get there?â
He frowned and looked at you like youâd gone insane. âHarry dropped me.â
âSo he wasnât cooking?â
âIf Harry was cooking the fire brigade wouldâve been called.â
You giggled, knowing it was true. Heâd tried to cook pancakes for you last year and youâd had to throw out the pan because you couldnât scrape it off.
âWhy would you think he was?â Tom asked, smiling softly in the dim light.
âWell, it sounded like there were pans clanging in the background,â you said âI just figured he was making breakfast.â
âI told him to say that,â Tom admitted, his cheeks still red âI actually bought you a present back from Colorado but I broke it in the car.â
âYou never were very careful, were you Tommy?â you smiled, reaching up instinctively to brush his curls behind his ears. When all your fingers found was stubble, your hand settled in the curve of his neck, cupping his cheek as you tried to find the words to explain what would happen next.
âAll I know is that youâre the best thing thatâs happened to me in a long time,â he replied, not taking his eyes off you âand if getting you back took Harry lying about making breakfast? Then Iâm not going to complain. I donât want to waste another second that I could be spending on you.â
You laughed, nestling your head into the crook of his neck as he drew you closer. Vanilla overwhelmed your senses as you sank into his familiarity, overcome by the sweetness and homeliness. Youâd had so many questions, and so little time to ask them, but after it all there was still just one that remained answered.
âWhy me?â you asked, looking up at him through your lashes âwhy me when you could have literally anyone else?â
âI-â he stopped himself, stumbling over the knee-jerk reaction as he took a deep breath. âBecause thereâs never been anyone but you.â
âAnd this is real?â you whispered, feeling the unknown stretch in front of you as your heart skipped a beat. âBecause if you say it is, that you want this, I canât go back again. Iâll be jumping without a parachute.â
Tom smiled, tilting his head to the side. He caught your gaze, his hands wandering to your waist and pulling you closer whilst your heart beat faster than it ever had before. You held your breath as he leant forward, catching your lips with his.
The moment they touched was like heâd lit a bonfire inside you; your skin burned and your lungs filled with the smoke. You could hardly breathe, feeling your nerves spark alight and race with electricity, every touch bringing you closer to how youâd been three months ago. Memories of that night danced across your vision, playing like a record youâd longed to open â every kiss, every touch, every whisper on replay in front of you.
At last, he pulled away, taking the fire with him while electricity crackled in your veins.
âThen I guess, darling,â he whispered, hushed under his breath âIâll simply have to catch you.â
YâALL this new fic is nearly 6k words long and whew i am EXHAUSTED! i got so carried away with it and itâs changed titles like ten times and been rewritten so many times Iâve lost count.
BUT it will offiicallly be up in the next couple of days, and I thought iâd post a snippet of it here since itâs like half midnight in the UK and iâm too hyped on the thought of it to sleep.
So, thank you so much for the support recently, and I hope you enjoy âFalling/Party Rockers/Someone You Wonât Talk Aboutâ (yes i know the nameâs are ridiculous let me BREATHE)
***
Your breathing was heavy, ragged as lips trailed across your skin and sucked bruises on your ribs. You gasped as his fingers trailed across your chest, gathering you in his arms when he crawled back up to your lips and crashed into you like a wave breaking against a shore.
You were happy.
So happy.
Your heart swelling with joy as he laced his hands in yours and whispered quiet promises against your lips.
You didnât know if it was light or dark. Morning or night. All you knew was the fire flooding your veins and the electricity setting your nerves alight.
The âI love yousâ and the promises of forever.
Authorâs Note: Iâm so glad you guys liked the teaser for this yesterday, I hope the full thing lives up to expectations! As always, I hope you enjoy! x
Summary: Admitting you got cheated on is hard. Being cheated on by the person your best friend set you up with is harder. But telling your best his girlfriend was the other woman? Impossible. What good could even come from it?
Word Count: 3,582
âI cannot believe you!â You yelled, hands in your hair, jaw almost on the floor. âYou told him what?â
Harrison just laughed, wiping the dish youâd unceremoniously dropped in his hands after the revelation and putting it back in the rack. âI didnât know it was a private thing.â
âMy breakups are not a matter of public interest,â you told him pointedly âand why did you even feel the need to tell him about it anyway?â
âI dunno, we were just out and you came up and he asked what youâd been up to recently.â
You almost screamed, biting down on your lip before you could snap and say something youâd regret. âYou couldâve answered that with âsheâs goodâ, there was no need to tell internationally beloved actor Thomas Stanley Holland that my relationship was a complete and utter failure.â
He snorted, draining the sink of washing up liquid and chucked the tea towel into the washing machine. You leant against the counter, staring out of the window whilst you wondered what the most effective way to kill your best friend was and whether this constituted a well meaning kicking-out-of-your-flat. Sighing, you shook your head and blinked back the tears that had pooled in your eyes when you were distracted â youâd promised yourself you wouldnât think about it, after weeks on the sofa and tonnes of ice cream. It wasnât worth it. He wasnât worth it.
âY/n?â Harrison said softly, moving behind you so his chin rested on your shoulder.
You took a deep, shuddery breath, plastering the best fake smile you could muster on your face and spun around to face him. âYep?â
âIâm sorry, I didnât realise you werenât ready for people to know yet,â he pursed his lips and rubbed your arm, pulling you into a tight hug when a sob wracked through your body. You clung onto his shirt, feeling the material dampen as you pressed your face against it, trying to remember to breathe, trying to forget the loss of a two year relationship.
âItâs okay,â you finally managed, choking back the sobs, even though it definitely wasnât. âI just didnât expect you to be so blunt about it. Or to tell Tom.â
âWell he was going to find out sometime, or were you planning on leaving it till he came over and Justin wasnât in the flat anymore?â
You laughed between tears, wiping your face with your palms. âThat one.â
âAnd, may I ask, have you been Googling Tom again? Since when did you know his middle name?â Harrison poked your chest playfully and you rolled your eyes, batting his hand away.
âSince he wouldnât stop teasing me about mine last time he came over, I figured I needed some ammunition.â
âAhh, you never were that good at revenge, were you?â
âExcuse me?â you gasped, pretending to be offended âwhat are you implying?â
âY/n, Tomâs an actor â heâs been teased so much about that name I honestly donât think he gives two shits.â
You could hardly breathe between laughs, the tears drying up faster than they ever had before, and you wondered if that was what progress had looked like. Youâd thought it was progress when youâd gotten out of bed, when youâd stopped eating two tubs of ice cream a day and finally brushed your hair, but the truth was Justin had still been in the back of your mind, always there, always reminding you of that night you so desperately wanted to forget. Except for the first time in months, for that little split second, he hadnât, and it had just been you and Harrison in your own little bubble.
âAnyway, speaking of the dipshit, heâs home tomorrow,â Harrison pulled his coat off the back of a chair and slid his arms into the sleeves.
You frowned, trying to remember what Tom had told you the last time youâd spoken to him. Youâd known both Harrison and Tom since you were young, always that little bit closer to Harrison, and youâd been nervous about Tom coming home because heâd missed so much. Youâd dreaded telling him everything that had happened, because he was the one that had set you up with Justin all those years ago. So, when heâd invited you and Harrison out to Morocco a few weeks back youâd stayed behind, too scared to face up to reality. You thought youâd have more time to prepare yourself â he was supposed to be on set for another month. âOh really? Heâs done filming already?â
âYeah, something about a schedule mixup,â Harrison shrugged and fished his car keys out of his pockets âthereâs a welcome home party at Nikkiâs tomorrow night, are you coming?â
Oh, that. You remembered the invite, burning a hole in the pocket of your jacket. Youâd seen the little white note card lying on the floor last week, but youâd been so caught up in Justin and that stupid picture youâd barely had time to process it.
âSure, I think itâs in my calendar.â
âI canât believe you still have a calendar,â Harrison rolled his eyes.
âHey, some of us like being organised!â You chased after him as he made for the door âSome of us actually make it to appointments!â
âItâs 2020, Y/n,â he smirked, looking over his shoulder as he got the flat door open âItâs time to live a little and take some risks!â
You pushed your tongue against your cheek and tutted. âAnd what if I donât want to?â
âThen life is going to make you,â Harrison called, already disappearing into the hallway outside âand I, for one, am going to enjoy watching.â
***
You pulled up to the Holland house later than you meant to.
Mostly because youâd spent half an hour in front of the mirror wondering if it was a better idea to just stay home. But also because youâd tried putting makeup on for the first time in weeks and somehow you just looked worse.
Youâd ended up back on the floor, sobbing so hard you thought your chest would cave in and wondering if it was even worth going tonight. You hadnât seen your best friend in months, and it sucked that you had to ruin it by having a conversation you never wanted in the first place. Â By the time Harrison texted you asking when you were gonna get there, it was way past six and you were embarrassingly, stupidly late. Â
You shouldnât have gone.
Yet here you were.
And everything felt so much worse.
âY/n!â a familiar voice yelled as you hopped out of the car and spun around. Harry was running down the steps and launching himself towards you, pulling you into a tight hug before youâd even locked the car. âHarrison told me, Iâm so sorry, Justinâs a dickhead. No wonder you didnât wanna tell Tom.â
âYeah, well we didnât need to ruin two relationships did we?â you laughed, pushing away the pain. Youâd practised what you were going to say, run your lines like you were rehearsing a movie. You figured there was no way you were going to make it through this without crying, but you could at least try.
Harry opened his mouth to say something, clearly confused by what youâd just said, but you were interrupted by Harrison flying down the stairs and yanking you into the house. âFinally, thought youâd died or something.â
âNope just car trouble,â you lied, more than grateful as he dragged you away from a frowning Harry. âWhereâs Tom?â
âRight here, darling,â he said, stepping into the hallway and swinging you into the air.
âJesus Christ, Thomas let me down!â You laughed, bashing his back as he spun you in a circle. Harrison grinned as Tom tipped you upside down, spinning you so violently the black and white floor blurred into one, meaningless grey, and you had to close your eyes or else you wouldâve ended up vomiting.
âSix months, SIX MONTHS its been since you graced me with your presence!â Tom turned you back upright and pulled you against his chest, arms wrapping around your waist. âYou can let me have this!â
âYef but canft breafthe,â you mumbled into his shirt.
âDonât care, you owe me.â
âTOFFAS!â
âAlright alright,â he relented, letting you go. You could feel the heat flooding your cheeks as you smoothed down your hair and fixed your top, rubbing your palms against your jeans. âBut you do owe me a proper cuddle.â
âShouldâve stayed in England, mate, thereâd have been plenty to go around,â Harrison smirked, but you eyed him wearily, knowing exactly what he was referring to. For a good three weeks after the break up, you were pretty certain Harrison hadnât left your side.
Tom seemed to pick up on the double meaning, sliding his eyes between you and Harrison in turn. âAm I missing something here?â he asked.
âDepends how you interpreted it,â Harrison said, turning towards the living room. âBut you two probably need a catch up. Iâll go find Sam and give him a hand with dinner.â
You glared daggers at his retreating back, mentally cursing him for not even allowing you to take your shoes off. You felt Tomâs hand rest gently on your shoulder, the other tilting your face to face him, and you took a deep breath, knowing that if you didnât get it over with, youâd never be brave enough again.
âYeah, heâs right, we probably should,â you sighed, and Tomâs frowned deepened.
âIs everything okay, Y/n?â
You hesitated, gnawing at a loose piece of skin on your thumb. âNotâŚnot really. Can we go sit in your bedroom? I feel awkward doing it here.â
Tom nodded, not taking his eyes off you as you took your shoes off. You could feel him staring at your neck, knowing his brain was working over time to figure out what was going on that was so bad you had to wait to tell him. You knew heâd be thinking the worst, it was just what he did, and usually you never had to make that a reality.
But todayâŚtoday was different - and you had no idea how heâd take it.
***
âSo,â he said, closing the door and pulling you onto the bed âwhatâs up?â
You pushed your tongue against your cheek and looked everywhere but his face, knowing youâd lose all the confidence youâd built the moment you looked into his eyes. His room was clean, a few pants chucked across the floor and a couple of dust bunnies lurking beneath the bed, but heâd only been a day. He had more than enough time to dirty it up to its usual standard.
âSeriously, Y/n, youâre scaring me now.â Tomâs voice reminded you he was still sitting in front of you, the two little lines creasing his brow even deeper now.
âSorry, itâs justâŚI donât really know how to phrase this.â
Tom smiled, taking your hand in his, and you almost snatched it back in shock. His palms were warm and clammy, just as trusting and open as theyâd always been. You had a feeling this might change things. âItâs just me, Iâm not going to tell anyone.â
âButâs thatâs not the point. Itâs justâŚwell, itâs about Maura.â
âMaura? As in, my ex-girlfriend Maura?â Tom drew back slightly, confusion still written across his face. âWhat about her?â
âWell I- wait, your ex girlfriend?â you stopped mid-sentence, realising what heâd just said, mouth hanging open in shock. Tom gulped, flicking his eyes away from yours, and shuffled backwards on the bed. He wouldnât meet your eyes, desperately looking for anywhere else to focus on, and this time it was you getting more and more confused. âSince when did that happen?â
âSince before I went away,â he sighed, scratching the side of his head as if that was enough of an explanation. âI figured we werenât right for each other.â
âBut I thought-â Youâd been going to say you thought he loved her, thought she was the one for him and that was who he was going to end up with. This all seemed soâŚso random, so out of the blue you couldnât even have written it as a surprise twist in a book. You could barely process what he was saying, a thousand thoughts crossing your mind at once. Why hadnât he told you? What the hell had happened for him to break up with her? But the most important one of all, the one you didnât really want to let yourself believe, kept flashing in front of your eyes like a neon sign.
If theyâd broken up before he went away to film Cherry, then that meant Maura had been single that night.
âJustin cheated on me,â you blurted out before you could stop yourself. âHe cheated on me when you were away and Iâve had no idea how to tell you.â
âHe did what?â Tomâs eyebrows shot up so fast they were a blur, and before you could process what he was doing he had his phone in his hand and was scrolling through his phone. âIâm gonna kill the bastard.â
âWait, no, Tom, stop,â you desperately reached for the phone, clawing it from his grip as he tried to turn away from you.
âThat arse hole cheated on you, Y/n, heâs not getting away with it!â
âBut you donât know what happened!â You finally grabbed the phone and yanked it away, panting from the effort. âThereâs more to it than that!â
âLike what? What possible excuse could he have for cheating on you, Y/n?â
You huffed, folding your arms across your chest. Tomâs face was red with anger, his hands curled into fists at his sides. âWeâve kind of gotten off topic here.â
âWell you were the one that brought up getting cheated on,â Tom stepped towards you, holding his arms out âI honestly had no idea.â
You collapsed into his reach, remembering how much youâd craved his smell and warmth over the months heâd been gone, and sighed against his chest. âThatâs because I didnât want you to know. I made Harrison promise not to tell anyone.â
âBut why? Itâs not like I wouldâve blamed you for it, it wasnât your fault.â
âNo,â you admitted âbut, the thing isâŚhe cheated on me with Maura and-â
âAnd you thought we were still together,â he finished the sentence for you and the relief that washed through you was like water poured on a wildfire. Youâd kept it bottled up for months, sobbing to Harrison and wondering how the hell you were supposed to tell him about it. To finally say it, to finally hear him understand, was worth more than youâd realised. âYou didnât want to hurt me too.â
âEspecially not whilst you were filming. I knew how much you loved her and I couldnât bear the thought of upsetting you when you were thousands of miles away.â
He laughed, the sound hollow and unnerving as he guided you back to the bed and held your fingertips with his. His gaze was fixed on the door, barely acknowledging you as you turned to stare at him in bewilderment. âThe irony is, you did still upset me.â
You frowned, your lips parting in confusion and your heart beating wildly in your chest. âWhat?â
Tom raked a hand over his face and lay back against the bed, his chest heaving a sigh as you fell down beside him. His curls were gone, the stubble of his head prickling your fingers as you reached up out of habit to run your fingers through it, trying not to panic. Youâd worked so hard to keep everything to yourself so it wouldnât mess up his work, that the thought you somehow hadnât even managed to do that was crippling.
âWhen I set you up with Justin two years ago, it was for a reason other than just wanting you to get out more,â he said eventually, turning to face you. âI couldnât admit something to myself and I figured the best way toâŚstop thinking about it, was to pass the problem on.â
âWhat problem?â you shook your head, still not really understanding what he was trying to get at. Tomâs hand reached to cup your waist and you gasped at the contact, not used to being this close to him.
âYou,â he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. âYou were my problem. Y/n, Iâve been in love with you for years and I couldnât admit it to myself. I thought if I saw you happy with someone else it would make everything go away, but somehowâŚsomehow it just made it worse.â
You couldnât breathe, paralysed by Tomâs revelation from your head to your toes. Your eyes were locked with his, filled with desperation and a sadness youâd never seen before, and your heart almost broke at the thought heâd held himself back from this for years.
Youâd never given much thought to it really, thereâd been the usual teasing in secondary school but once Tom had gotten with Maura it had pretty much stopped. Thereâd never been any confusion, no wondering about what might have been â to you, heâd always been Tom, the boy whoâd wiped a booger on you at six, and copied your chemistry homework for four whole years and never been caught. Sure, you knew exactly what people saw in him, why girls chased him on the streets and oogled him in the gym, and now that you thought about it youâd always liked it when you went swimming.
But he was still just Tom.
âIâŚI donât really know what to say,â you said at last, pulling away from him slightly. You saw hurt register in his eyes, and it killed you to be the one that caused it. But what else could you say? You couldnât tell him you loved him too because it was a lie...
...wasnât it?
âAnything - anything but that this has scared you away.â
You held back a sob, somehow feeling more conflicted than you had than when youâd come here in the first place. âIt hasnât, Iâll always love you Tom,â you saw hope flare in his eyes âbut I donât think I love you likeâŚlike that.â
He nodded, pushing his tongue against his cheek and pulling away from you. Suddenly the air went cold, all the energy disappearing with him, and you wanted to sob at the loss. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, his back blocking you from seeing his face, and you ran a finger across your lips, at a loss for what to say.
You knew today would go badly, but you hadnât expected it to be because of this. Youâd prepared yourself to deal with the fall out of a cheating girlfriend, not a declaration of love, and now you just didnât know what to do.
Thinking on instinct, you reached out and wrapped your arms around his waist, feeling his shoulders shake as his warm hands embraced yours and he leant back into your body. You glanced at his cheeks, reaching up to wipe away a tear, and sighed into his neck, wondering how youâd gotten here.
âIâm sorry, you probably didnât expect that,â Tom laughed, the sound full of a profound sadness youâd never heard in him before.
âI didnât, but Iâm glad I know,â you replied, feeling more sure as soon as youâd said the words.
âReally?â
âOf course. It seemed like it was upsetting you not telling me, and if telling me has made it any easier for you than Iâm glad I know.â
âI wouldnât exactly say itâs made things easier.â
You smiled, bending down onto the floor and cupping his cheek. âMaybe not, but things are always better out than in.â
âIsnât that a drinking joke?â
âIt applies here,â you grinned, relief filling you as he cracked a small smile. âBesides, things change.â
Tomâs brow furrowed, big brown eyes turning to look up at you as you rubbed your thumb over his chin. âWhat?â
Hesitating, you bit your lip and met his gaze, remembering what Harrison had told you yesterday about life and taking risks. This was either a horrendously bad idea or about to change a hell of a lot in the space of five seconds.Â
You werenât exactly known for your rational decisions after all, you barely managed to make it out of your flat alive most days. But the second heâd said it, the second heâd made you question everything you believed, you knew you had to find out what it felt like, even if it was just once and never again.
And so you went for it, without thinking, and pushed your lips against his, feeling the shock wave course through his body and his rigid mouth melting against yours as he finally registered what was happening. For a second, you wanted to pull away, pretend like it never happened, but then Tom reached for your neck and fireworks exploded behind your eyes.
It was like nothing youâd ever felt before, butterflies flapping excitedly in your stomach, your heart swelling and beating faster than ever before. Bolts of lightning raced through your veins, electricity crawling across your skin and setting your nerves on fire as his lips moved slowly against yours. Suddenly, there were no more questions, no more overthinking, just you and Tom, exactly where you were supposed to be.
And, for the first time in weeks, you were stupidly...embarrassingly...happy.
When you finally pulled away, you were both a little breathless, a little starry eyed and overwhelmed. Your lips curved into a smile, a small laugh escaping you as you fell against Tomâs arms and nuzzled your face into his chest.
âDoes this mean...â he started, but you pushed your finger against his lips.
âDonât even question it, Thomas,â you grinned, reaching up to press another kiss to his cheek. âItâs not something that needs to be thought about.â
Before you could think, his lips were back on yours and this time you were in his lap, pulled flush against his chest and he was running his tongue along your bottom lip.Â
But before you could deepen the kiss, the door behind you suddenly burst open, Harrison nearly giving you a heart attack as he yelled at the top of his lungs.
âOh FINALLY! Harry? You owe me twenty quid!â
Taglist:Â
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Summary: Admitting you got cheated on is hard. Being cheated on by the person your best friend set you up with is harder. But telling your best friend his girlfriend was the other woman? Impossible. What good could even come from it?
Word Count: 939 (full fic 3k)
A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this one, so I hope you enjoy it! The full fic will be up tomorrow x
âI cannot believe you!â You yelled, hands in your hair, jaw almost on the floor. âYou told him what?â
Harrison just laughed, wiping the dish youâd unceremoniously dropped in his hands after the revelation and putting it back in the rack. âI didnât know it was a private thing.â
âMy breakups are not a matter of public interest,â you told him pointedly âand why did you even feel the need to tell him about it anyway?â
âI dunno, we were just out and you came up and he asked what youâd be up to recently.â
You almost screamed, biting down on your lip before you could snap and say something youâd regret. âYou couldâve answered that with âsheâs goodâ, there was no need to tell internationally beloved actor Thomas Stanley Holland that my relationship was a complete and utter failure.â
He snorted, draining the sink of washing up liquid and chucked the tea towel into the washing machine. You leant against the counter, staring out of the window whilst you wondered what the most effective way to kill your best friend was and whether this constituted a well meaning kicking-out-of-your-flat. Sighing, you shook your head and blinked back the tears that had pooled in your eyes when you were distracted â youâd promised yourself you wouldnât think about it, after weeks on the sofa and tonnes of ice cream. It wasnât worth it. He wasnât worth it.
âY/n?â Harrison said softly, moving behind you so his chin rested on your shoulder.
You took a deep, shuddery breath and plastered the best fake smile you muster on your face and spun around to face him. âYep?â
âIâm sorry, I didnât realise you werenât ready for people to know yet,â he pursed his lips and rubbed your arm, pulling you into a tight hug when a sob wracked through your body. You clung onto his shirt, feeling the material dampen as you pressed your face against it, trying to remember to breathe, trying to forget the loss of a two year relationship.
âItâs okay,â you finally managed, choking back the sobs, even though it definitely wasnât. âI just didnât expect you to be so blunt about it. Or to tell Tom.â
âWell he was going to find out sometime, or were you planning on leaving it till he came over and Justin wasnât in the flat anymore?â
You laughed between tears, wiping your face with your palms. âThat one.â
âAnd, may I ask, have you been Googling Tom again? Since when did you know his middle name?â Harrison poked your chest playfully and you rolled your eyes, batting his hand away.
âSince he wouldnât stop teasing me about mine last time he came over, I figured I needed some ammunition.â
âAhh, you never were that good at revenge, were you?â
âExcuse me?â you gasped, pretending to be offended âwhat are you implying?â
âY/n, Tomâs an actor â heâs been teased so much about that name I honestly donât think he gives two shits.â
You could hardly breathe between laughs, the tears drying up faster than they ever had before, and you wondered if that was what progress had looked like. Youâd thought it was progress when youâd gotten out of bed, when youâd stopped eating two tubs of ice cream a day and finally brushed your hair, but the truth was Justin had still been in the back of your mind, always there, always reminding you of that night you so desperately wanted to forget. Except for the first time in months, for that little split second, he hadnât, and it had just been you and Harrison in your own little bubble.
âAnyway, speaking of the dipshit, heâs home tomorrow,â Harrison pulled his coat off the back of a chair and slid his arms into the sleeves.
You frowned, trying to remember what Tom had told you the last time youâd spoken to him. Youâd known both Harrison and Tom since you were young, always that little bit closer to Harrison, and youâd been nervous about Tom coming home because heâd missed so much. Youâd dreaded telling him everything that had happened, because he was the one that had set you up with Justin all those years ago. So, when heâd invited you and Harrison out to Morocco a few weeks back youâd stayed behind, too scared to face up to reality. You thought youâd have more time to prepare yourself â he was supposed to be on set for another month. âOh really? Heâs done filming already?â
âYeah, something about a schedule mixup,â Harrison shrugged and fished his car keys out of his pockets âthereâs a welcome home party at Nikkiâs tomorrow night, are you coming?â
Oh, that. You remembered the invite, burning a hole in the pocket of your jacket. Youâd seen the little white note card lying on the floor last week, but youâd been so caught up in Justin and that stupid picture youâd barely had time to process it.
âSure, I think itâs in my calendar.â
âI canât believe you still have a calendar,â Harrison rolled his eyes.
âHey, some of us like being organised!â You chased after him as he made for the door âSome of us actually make it to appointments!â
âItâs 2020, Y/n,â he smirked, looking over his shoulder as he got the flat door open âItâs time to live a little and take some risks!â
You pushed your tongue against your cheek and tutted. âAnd what if I donât want to?â
âThen life is going to make you,â Harrison called, already disappearing into the hallway outside âand I, for one, am going to enjoy watching.â
                               ***
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