✧ .•º . 《 Queen 》 ╱ the-composer:
He’s so engrossed in the all-encompassing presence of his twin, in tasting and touching and satiating his pent-up yearning, that he’s completely unprepared for the earnestness of the question. Their time is ephemeral, and Joshua’s guilty of prioritizing the more… hedonistic desires over opportunities for bonding conversations. Of course they’re knowledgeable of one another’s lives, and have shared many a deep dark secret, and confide in one another, but if Joshua can bypass talking about himself, he will. So to be asked a direct question threw him for a loop, eyes flew open wide to boggle at his otherworldly mate. The instinctive urge to flee’s both mentally and physically hindered, and after an internal fit of squirming, he sighed in resignation and dipped his chin for their brows to kiss.
❝ It always hurts when I put myself on the line and they leave. As I am sure you’re intimately aware, it takes… so much to make oneself vulnerable and reach out, to try to form relationships, to make connections… I know better, and I mistakenly grew attached to the wrong people. I knew better, and I saw it coming, but maybe I needed to make those mistakes. ❞ He shrugged. ❝ I was lonely and chasing intensity, or what I thought would be intensity. But chasing is only fun if they want to be caught. I thought I’d found people who understood me, who shared in my—our—unique experiences as once-humans, as ascendant, as Composer. People on my level, who can meet my energy. ❞ Like you.
❝ I was lonely. I wanted to feel something new. ❞ The explanation’s ambiguous, but the themes were explicitly clear. Vulnerability. The unslakable junkie need for adrenaline. Wanting to be wanted. Abandonment. He snaked his arms around his fellow Kiryu and roped him into a tight embrace, pulling every inch of his torso snug to his. ❝ You’re one of the only things I have faith in… one of the only things that I’d wait for. I’m a little less a mess with you in the multiverse. ❞
(♚)┊ ❝ I was lonely. I wanted to feel something new. ❞
❝ . . . ❞ The Monarch Composer held to every spoken word; instinctively wrapping his arms behind his highness’ back. Unusually taken aback by it all. Joshua had often mused such laborious sentiments to himself but, this time, it felt “different”. Stronger. Tugging at his heart strings, tightly, like the embrace that unfolded...if not tighter.
He despised this feeling...
One of the many reasons why he wanted to ascend to divinity. Where such things didn’t matter --- nor are able to cinder a lamented heart. Yet, fleeting from it ( as they tend to do ) proved to be inevitable. Nevertheless, as omniscient as they come, Kiryus are always bound to acquire apprehensions. Hence, he didn’t falter a second longer to enlighten his queen with his. With a pivot of the head, in slow motion, the King steered for their foreheads to nuzzle.
❝ The transient nature of bonds and life. ❞ He sighed, lowering his hands to trail down his twin’s spine to their tailbone. ❝ Both are not perfect, and they bring despondency and heartaches, just like the fate of stars that burn out and are scattered throughout the universe. Like stardust, life is full of challenges and hardships, but none is your fault. The ache is temporary, together, we’ll make it through the fleetingness of stardust. Bypass these stupid conundrums and not let yo-- our spirits waver. ❞ His tone sharpened near the end, a leak of frustration on the verge to dissipate the objects around them --- yet; he managed to not lose control and remain composed. Plastering a gentle, short, kiss on the lips for reassuring measure.
❝ As your mirrored inner self, you are that “new” extension of who I already am. And I will rescind any pain that maims your divine physique. ❞ as genuine his words were, he couldn’t resist to slip a bit of his sybaritic nature. Getting a firm, handful, grip of his favorite peach. ❝ I might be rough to the point you’ll cry from overstimulation, but for that I can’t be hold accountable... Hee hee. ❞
