Petrificus Totalus!

Petrificus Totalus! Obsurco! Now that you are unable to move and blindfolded I will use this shiny defabricator on you. This is a NSFW blog. I am a nerdy(duh) male, straight. All modals are assumed to be 18+ and All pictures free from copyright, if this is not true please tall me :) have a nice day. I will at times post a lot of Emma Watson, Summer Glau, Lilly Cole, Indianna Evens, and Georgie Henley

[minions420]

if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right

[meladoodle]

yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off 

[ruby-white-rabbit]

My boss stopped talking in the middle of a work meeting to ask me “does that say ‘murder’?”

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO EXPLAIN WHY YOURE DRAWING A MAN HAPPY ABOUT MURDER TO PEOPLE WHO DONT KNOW SHERLOCK

[ruby-white-rabbit]

please stop reblogging this its not even that good of a doodle

[moshturbate-deactivated20221014]

I think I’d look cute in between your legs

[tishlush]

[swelltits]

For each bottle you drink, she exposes one breast.

If you can still stand after both bottles, she will do whatever you command.

[tishlush]

no no we each get a bottle and the last one to finish has to make the other one cum until they pass out…..

[fueledbycapitalism-deactivated2]

every time my parents tell me something that I should’ve done that is not helpful to the conversation I’m going to reply with some historical event that shouldn’t have happened like

"You should’ve gotten up earlier"

"Hitler shouldn’t invaded Czechoslovakia"

"You should’ve gotten higher grades then"

"Abraham Lincoln should’ve hired a better bodyguard then"

[lexiboi]

I witnessed this live, I feel special

[nevver]

[fuckoffstraightpeople-blog]

hmmm i wonder what they used to take these pretentious fucking pictures if technology is so evil, jesus christ

[finntastic31-deactivated2014111]

You don’t need a phone to take photos. It’s called a camera.

[fuckoffstraightpeople-blog]

HMMMMM I WONDER WHAT “TECHNOLOGY” MEANS AND WHAT A CAMERA MIGHT BE

[cyberstevie]

if the rapid disappearance of bees and the drastic decline of their population terrifies and stresses you for a large number of reason clap your hands

[dontwannasaygoodbye]

Reblog this if you think it is wrong to "joke" about suicide, self harm, mental illness, rape, and abuse.

[boxiest]

This adorable, one week old baby dolphin was found on the beach in Uruguay. The baby was found with her umbilical cord still attached! She suffered injuries and displacement from her family due to a fishing net. —> Full Story and More Pictures of the Rescued Baby Dolphin!

[exigents]

OMFG THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER

[debanding]

Me reading this story and looking at these pictures and trying not to cry

[plannedparenthood]

should i be using condoms or birth control to prevent pregnancy?

x

[feminerdism]

The Planned Parenthood tumblr has probably been waiting a very long time to use that gif.

[funmeister2]

[seksiuzaylilaraskina]

[littlemixens]

why do people say “don’t be a pussy” when talking about weakness more like “don’t be a man’s ego” because you know there isn’t nothing more fragile than that

[nothingnowherenoonearchive]

uh 

because “pussy” is the shortened form of the word “pusillanimous”, which means “timid, cowardly”

and not the slang word for the female genital region?

[follow-puppy-luv96-deactivated2]

literally no one else knows this. nobody. 

[amateurslags]

[deutschegeilegirls]

[chromeofficial]

nothing is more satisfying than someone walking right past ur hiding spot in hide and seek

[thatkilljoy-blog]

how old are you

[darmani-remade-blog]

"thatkilljoy" living up to the url i see

[hpalmqvist-deactivated20151220]

FUN STORY: my grandma lives in a city that was currently taken over by drug dealers and gangs and it’s now divided in two and my grandma is the oNLY CITIZEN IN THE WHOLE CITY who can go walking freely through both sides of the town because she used to do community work and feed the poor kids and those gang members were all fed by her so they let her come and go as she wants SO WHAT WE LEARN TODAY IS TO BE FUCKING NICE TO KIDS BC U MIGHT BE DEALING W FUTURE GANG MEMBERS