Phantasmal-Reality @phantasmal-reality-blog - Tumblr Blog

in this world we search for what we have lost only to forget what we’ve found, a mirage the illussion of moving closer to our desires only to have them disappear or move farther away , there is fear in my heart as i write this because of how easy it is for desire to tempt our hearts with envious...

acidphantom-us

well i think it’s time to start posting pics of myself, this is me from freshman year till now my senior year

roses are red

roses are red violets are blue the fire in my heart burns as bright as crimson blood my mind races with thoughts of you this is true what else is there to do i must see you spend every waking moment with you however i can time spent with you is a fantasy i never want to end you are my love and most of all a true friend time away from you makes minutes pass like hours all the more time to think of you but it drives me crazy i was never really sane but this is unbearable i need to buy you a white rose and spray paint it blue when im with you the world is wonderland too young to know what love is but old enough to experience it sleeping on the solid ground or soft clouds does not matter when im beside you your lovely glances set me in a trance your smile, eyes and freckles hypnotize me as a bug to a zapper when i first met you my fate was sealed forever to cross your path hypnotized by your beauty no matter how many times i try to pull away i’ve been destined to be zapped by your love to the cheesiest pizzas for better for worse i’ll stand beside you we fight our demons back to back ready to attack nothing can stop us our threads of fate cross and entwine i can only hope you stay mine trust me for what i am and i’ll do what i can you turn rreality into fantasy your smile and eyes hypnotic nothing you can do can make me stay mad at you when you’re mad at me i can feel the earth shake no matter how much i try to ignore there is not much i can take your happiness is mine as i write this i hope you’re not crying it pains me to think of you sad id rather see you mad i’ve lost all hope for myself your happiness is my only concern "for without hope we live on in desire" my desire for you burns hotter than any fire other women are water drops and your the ocean i drank your mystical love potion poisoning my heart corrupting it onto undying devotion

- A Phantom

moonlite night

the moons in full bloom and there is nothing to do

lets get lost in each others eyes as we fade under the clouds shadow

never being seen under the same light as before

I’m loosing my grasp on reality so i walk into yours

the night is still young time to move

lets get lost in the moment

just escape before this night becomes our tomb

- A Phantom

grey

pretty pretty please just get on your knees

tell me your sorrows and broken dreams

i want to hear your screams

darling oh darling i tore out my heart today

the fields and the sky turned shades of grey

i drank your mystical love potion

poisoning my heart onto undying devotion

without you poison cripples my corrupted heart

should have known this just from the start

every other girl is just every other girl

twirl around sweetheart just one more time

loving you was my only crime

i’ve done something wrong

imprisoned away from you i serve my time

i wait all night and day

if only time would make the pain go away

so here is what i have to say

imprisoned by thoughts of you left without a clue

who knows what i’ll do

a straight jacket and a rubber room sounds just like home

imagination is my greatest deception

fantasies of memories is not without devastation

but will i ever find redemption

but oh have i mentioned

you are my queen just a sweet dream

without you skies and faded and turned greay

now there is just not much else to say

-aphantom

#spilled ink

lost in my own thoughts there is no escape

the death of myself is nothing new

i’ll be reborn again as a phoenix from the ashes

new personailty but i’ll hate myself the same

as a moth into the flame i’m only to blame

my sadness is effortless fueled by loneliness

so many faces and endless races

constantly chasing unattainable goals

the only part of myself i hold onto no matter how much i change

head constantly in the clouds

phantasmal fantasies

-aphantom

#spilled ink

blooming mind

my hearts a flower and just like the moon

it wilts to bloom again

somewhere down the road i hope i make friends

as the road turns the marijuana burns

speechless bliss

love lost dismissed

searching for a new desire

passion inside me burning almost consuming

soon enough i’ll catch on fire

i release my frustration turning it into dedication

i need some type of medication

the well of hope will surely dry

faith in desire sought between thighs

in the end i know this will not satisfy me

but i’m still too ignorant to see

-A Phantom

scrambled mind

i lose myself to confusion

i’ve lost everything along with my mind

deadly desires are just distractions

spoken words taken from grace

i just need to keep my pace

i fall behind

never knowing where i was even going

reality such a cruel thing to grasp

how much longer will this last

soon enough this will all be in my past

unrealistic goals set in motion

on a raft in the middle of the ocean

only hoping i will find my way

soon enough i’ll find solid ground

i can only hope i have the strength to fight the waves

guilty pleasure in thoughts of drowning

on the edge of my sanity

the ground i hold onto crumbles

fantasies grab my hand pulling me up

only to let go and watch me fall

the darkness consumes me as i scream

this is where i feel most at home

in the darkness screaming in my head

soon enough i’ll be dead

only to be reborn again

constantly changing

personality of a rubix cube

mixed up and mismatched

fantasies turning faceless mannequins into people

holding onto only my fantasies as they turn to dust before my eyes

blue roses in my eyes…

thorns digging deep tangling into my mind

clouding my judgement

when the clouds fade away

the sunlight burns

i don’t know how to function

this is the least of my worries

i just need to survive

-A Phantom

#spilled ink

abyss

Sitting on the roof i stare into the abyss

they say if you stare long enought the abyss stares back

the darknesss shows me the past, present, and possible future

as i look deeper i lose myself to the madness

i have no idea what i’m doing

there is nothing

there is everything

there are false prophets

there is no hope

lost without hope i follow my desires deeper into the abyss

i desire love

i desire power

i desire happiness

these pathes of the prophets are my salvation

i must be able to decrypt the prophets deception

or else my fears will be realised and i won’t find redemption

the abyss lies and bends my mortal ties

friendship is a painted picture

everyone paints a different picture

some more beautifully than others

maybe my pictures are exaggerated

the abyss twists my soul

this is the toll

the abyss offers truth to my own deceptions

ignorance is bliss this is what i miss

the abyss brings me to the light

all i want now is darkness

- A Phantom

#spilled ink

julia

julia she calls to me

with all her rage and her fury

she speaks in whispers

drawing me near

not yet i whisper back, but soon

julia i cannot stay away from you for long

your call out to me has a trance like no other

when i stare out at you, you wave at me to come closer

i know i shouldm’t but i do

i walk closer and closer to you

my head crashing againsts the waves

but still julia calls to me

i can swim for no longer

julia long time no see

with this embrace i am pulled under

the current will take me without a fight im in your arms

taking me away to be hidden among her treasures

julia my secret lover

days, weeks, maybe months i’ll stand by your side

the memmorys we shared cannot be compared

the people ive met, experiences ive had

all because of you

but our time came to a end as the seasons changed

it couldn’t be avoided

just as it did before it is doing now

the seasons change and it’s now our season

you consume me julia

you and your marvelous splendor

just imagining all the jewels you hide

soon julia you will consume me

games

lost all hope i live on in desire

my life around me bursted into fire

that’s fine with me all i need is you

trapped by my addiction feeding my happiness

this is what is true

i’m an alcoholic still better then what i was

anxiety overwelms me constantly

i use to rely on you

as we pass the streetlights flashbacks overwelm me

we followed them like me and her did that one night

this is just the same…

im tired of playing this ridiculous game

why do the ones i fall so easily in love with ensure my destruction

passion is the poison which fuels my fire

corrupting my heart until it’s torn apart

man i should’ve seen this from the start

maybe i did but this is why i am obsessed with dreams

try to shoot thinking you’ll never miss

ignorance is bliss

-aphantom

roses are blue

violets are green

nothing is true

this is just a dream

fragmented reality

picking and chosing what to believe

ignorance is bliss

love is either a hit or a miss

too bad im a lousy shot

in the end it never last

even when given all i got

imagination is my greatest deception

feeding my ignorance and my desires

all lies spoken by false prophets

driving me deeper into my own insanity

too bad this is the only place i feel free

the pure ecstasy of imagination

too bad it never lasts alot like the lovers past

only to be enjoyed and savored for i cannot keep them forever

sour fruits are all that i have to show for my labor

blue roses…

too beautiful for this world trapped in fantasys

this is my love life reality

-aphantom

#spilled ink

lonely

in my own lonesom tragedy i wollow in my own sorrow

my deceptions never understood

i hope for a new tomorrow

but in the end it will stay the same

just another game

i’m losing my strength to play

in my sadness i find comfert with intoxication

intoxicating myself with ‘friends’, fantasies and mind altering substances

whatever makes me feel not alone

i wander aimlessly with nothing

searching for a place to call home

what is this that will make me understand

i really have no plan

my mind screaming i can’t take it anymore

fantasies whisper escape

often doing more harm then good

i’m not sure how much i can take.

- A Phantom

memories

Walking down memory lane

what a fucking pain

there is no point looking in the past

but i have no choice

everywhere i go is a mirage

memories from the past cloud my future

nothing really new

i just know i need to get out of here soon

i know i’m safe here and that’s the problem

a moth can’t go back in its cocoon

you can never go back

things will never be as they were

the illusions of memories and reality deciving

axniety out of control i’m surpised i’m still breathing

stuck with a ball and chain

my only motivation is self destruction

unknown corruption

poisoning and draining my strength

my mind is lost

well that was the cost

falling prey to the fantastic emotional loan shark

invested effort into me

i must’ve missed my last payment

nothing to repossess so they took my soul

i have no where to go

reality is what you make of it

i’ll escape soon enough

julia still calls

she tells truth and lies hidden in disguise

only one more deciving than i

forcing me to cut all ties

that’s fine never really had any

consume me once more julia

-A Phantom

losing myself in my own deceptions

feelings of love lost such sweet poison

corruption corses through my viens

infected by your love

i am the king of deception

telling truth and lies as i cause my own demise

you are perfect

the only one i want to see myself with

your voice is of a siren leading me to my watery grave

just when i think i’ve caught you in my arms

i drown deeper in the emotion ocean

you are perfect

i’ll deceive myself one last time

i deceived myself into loving you

-A Phantom

#spilled ink

wandering

walking along the hills at the dead of night

lost in darkness on the edge of fright

fear no evil voices whisper among the shadows

no moon on this night

led only by starlight

sure enough i lose my way

lets all go along with this play

going along with this charade

acting like i knew where i was going from the beggining

time passes as i walkamong the hills

impossible to see whats ahead

morning mist shows only dread

voices whisper to me

whispering advice or lies

that is no longer clear

this is what i fear

"ignorance is bliss" heard in the distance

an echo of cheerful words spoken long ago

the darkness of this path is unknown

as i step into the void

i’m at a lose for words

so i fall

torn apart by my own reallity

i turn into blue rose petals flying in the wind

shattering into different perceptions

maybe i’ll find peace in different dimentions

i do

does more harm than good

numbing poison does what it should

after the deception is gone

scars still fresh

oh what a mess

-A Phantom

lust

love is lust and love is lost

saught after at what cost

forgive me later, now is no time for us

i am someone you should never trust

lies twisted with truth

is this how i spend my youth

happiness is my greatest fantasy

reality’s cruel chains leave a horrible scar

i’ll wear a mask of dreams and hide my screams

i’m insane just lost in the brain

things will never be the same

darker then before the light fades away

few things will stay

you will not be one of them

1 step forward 2 steps back

such a meaningless task

i’m tired of things that won’t last

bright ideas show the way

running in the distance i trip and collapse over myself

i see myself blind and dying

i leave my old self to die in the darkness

i cannot save myself

you cannot save the drowning man from the shark

- A Phantom

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