Another thing about the yume / selfship community that's frustrating is how cliquey yet uncaring it is . Let's talk .
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Obviously you're allowed to have your main group of selfship friends / moots you interact with more than others, but the whole point of this community is to be welcoming to everyone . So often people find themselves alone, posting about something that means a lot to them and receiving absolutely zero love or outward acceptance in return .
Imagine baring yourself to the world, your heart and your soul, and the people around you simply shrug and walk away . No one will understand how much it means to you because they aren't willing to understand . They aren't looking to . They want to talk about themselves without caring about you while expecting the same love and admiration you're looking for from you .
But they never dish it out, no . They don't reciprocate . Not even when you spread it around and certainly not when you initiate first . All of it is just talk talk talk talk talk โ But don't respond . Never respond .
That's part of the reason why people find posting to the community so intimidating . Because they know this place is too tightknit despite how often it preaches embracing newcomers, they know people have their little groups, and never do they put in the effort to make you feel like you're one of them .
Before I continue, I want to preface this by saying you aren't selfish if you indulge in reading imagines or if you need reassurance about your yume / selfships from accounts similar to those โ But can you honestly tell me the last time you saw a post with, say, over 10+ likes that wasn't some sort of Imagine? Or a critique on the community like this post? Or some bullshit reassurance about how your F/O loves you or how its okay to love them (which you already know is true)?
I recently ran an experiment and intentionally posted something mediocre to see what kind of reaction it got in comparison to something I posted that I actually put thought into . One was a post about my Self Insert, which I posted onto my main blog and reblogged into the community , and the other I posted only to the community .
Can you guess which one I left up for 32 hours straight and eventually got so embarrassed about that I deleted the reblog because it got absolutely no engagement ?
Can you guess which one had hundreds of reactions within two hours ? Which one I still have up ?
The one that took 0% of my braincells to make but still preyed upon the community's need to think only about themselves is the one that's still up .
You can't look at this and tell me it isn't absolute slop . You can't tell me that the community isn't settling for personalized mediocrity simply because it pertains to them instead of going out there to look for friends and building a community of your own within a community .
But you don't want that . Of course you don't want that . It'll pull you out of your personal bubble where the world revolves around you and your yume / selfship and you don't have to care about anyone else . All you want to do is think about yourself and receive support from people you would never support . Not because they're bad, not because they're on your DNI list, but because you simply can't find it in yourself to even pretend like you care about another person .
And for the people who think this doesn't apply to them, to the people who have friend groups that revolve around yume / selfshipping, tell me : When's the last time you asked them a question about their yume / selfship ? When's the last time you shut up long enough about yours to tell them, "Hey, that's pretty cool . I love the way you love your F/O ." ?
When's the last time you indulged in their yume / selfship in a way that actually took effort ? Something beyond simply typing out "CANON CANON CANON CANON", beyond reacting to their art or writing with the first emoji you can find ?
When is the last time you invited someone new into your group ? When is the last time you actually read through someone's selfship fic ? When is the last time you thought about another person's selfship ?
When is the last time you cared ?
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