Back again...again
As stated in my last post and the post before that, and the post before that...
Ā I feel like I need some kind of outlet. I have this weird feeling of absence in my life and i donāt know what that is. Iām hoping that maybe blogging here can help fill that void or help me find something to fill the void? I donāt know. And It doesnāt really matter if anyone is reading this, I donāt think any of my friends still use this? Anyway... like i said, i hope this helps with whatever it is iām going through....
Ā I woke up today from turnover with a crazy headache and sinus congestion. I never experienced anything like that before. I was sneezing all day yesterday while i was duty driving around town. Could it be allergy season? When the hell is allergy season? I thought that was around the spring time? I could be wrong. Whatever it was, it had me sneezing like crazy, and thats what led to my sinus headache. I saw one of the HMs at work, hoping they would send me home. They didnāt. All they did was give me some mucinex and some cough drops...which did help a little, but i was hoping theyād just send me home.Ā
Ā I got home and took a nap, then worked out. Worked out my core along with Jump roping and boxing for cardio. It was a good work out. Ever since I got back to standing duty, I feel like i lost my consistency with working out. I would miss a day (because fuck working out on duty days) then it would throw me off my schedule because it would then either supposed to be a rest day or it would have me start onĀ a day where itās supposed to be another body part because I skipped a body part because of the duty day. I need to get my rhythm back. Iāve gained weight, which is both bad and good. Good because i see all my other parts get thicker (like my skinny arms and small chest), but bad because my gut got noticeably bigger. Itās fucking gross.Ā I also canāt seem to eat right. Iāve been eating like shit more than usual and itās been really hard to fight the urge not to. A part of me thinks i should just go with the motions and iāll eventually snap out of it, but i also feel like iām just sabotaging myself if i do that. God I hope i snap out of it.Ā
This should be enough for today. Iāll write back tomorrow...hopefully.