mess of a mess

i post like once in a lifetime sorry

[sanctuaryofcinema]

[itsjustlight]

[syrenum]

[mourals]

writing on my library’s wall

[pharmafarm]

sometimes I’m terrified that there’s this monster inside of me that’s just waiting to come out that it’ll show it’s head eventually it has to eat it’s just a matter of time that I’m an addict I know that but I just haven’t found my drug of choice and I’m afraid that one of those days i will I’ll take the opportunity that it’ll be something out of the blue casual and I’ll say why not maybe I won’t be at my lowest point but I’ll remember all the days I was and I’ll want to avenge them or that I’ll know somewhere deep inside that I’ll experience them once again and I don’t want to no one does but I think I’d make a good addict I’m perfect for it in so many ways oh I could go on for ages I’ve already put so much distance between myself and the people I’m supposed to love and the people that are supposed to love me so does it really matter does anything ever really matter its all up to you and sometimes it hurts less when things don’t even when it hurts you the most in the end and that’s the thing I never know if I’m ever gonna go down that road I haven’t made a decision yet I may have said I have or promised you that I would but deep inside I haven’t deep inside I just don’t know and I hope that I won’t have to find out but that’s not true what scares me is that I hope I do and maybe I’m not the person I thought I was or would be because honestly I don’t know who I want to be or how I want this to go because some days I just want to feel warm and beautiful and some days I want to feel fast I always want to feel something or nothing at all and the problem is that I do I do all the time and it’s exhausting I used to think that living a mediocre life is the ultimate sin and I’ve never known what balance is but I have hope that one day I’ll find it and something in the back of my head tells me everything is going to be ok no matter which path I choose because I’m me and for now I exist

[aestheticacadema]

[snowdenblue]

[cyb3reden]

[melisica]

by Hamza Kulenović

[melisica]

Vivian Flores

[gusty]

By: P. H. Fitzgerald

[approvers]

[melisica]

Richard Ramirez Jr

[approvers]

[ecc-poetry]

“La sirena y el pescador,” Elisa Chavez.

Hey all! This poem is part of my chapbook Miss Translated, which I produced in a limited run as Town Hall Seattle’s Spring 2017 artist-in-residence. The main conceit behind this work is that to accurately portray my relationship with Spanish, I have to explore the pain and ambiguity of not speaking the language of my grandparents and ancestors. As a result, these poems are bilingual … sort of. Each one is translated into English incorrectly.

The poems I produced have secrets, horrific twists, emotional rants, and confessions hiding in the Spanish. It’s my hope that people can appreciate them regardless of their level of Spanish proficiency.

[dangered]

by Ulli Rickers

[approvers]

By Fed J. McKinnon