PhD diary

This blog is my personal reflections from my life as PhD student. Names, companies and organizations are anonymized.

[phdcharlie]

Day 94

A good and effective day. I coordinated with my contact at T and sent him a draft of information to the employees. Also finalized my A3. It’s now shortly before 6pm. It’s late and I’m tired. Had a talk with my co-supervisor, who talked about the department manager’s leadership abilities. One office￾mate has returned from stress-related sick leave but still struggle being back. I can’t help comparing what I hear about her with my previous experience. But I have to focus on what I’m doing.

By the way, Had a supervisor meeting. It was rather confusing and unprepared because my supervisor changed the meeting. I wasn’t ready and was not prepared. I didn’t get that much out of it. I’ll visit my two case companies the coming days. I wonder whether I will manage to collect the information I need. And have I expressed myself clearly enough about what my project is about?

[phdcharlie]

Day 88

I can see that I didn’t write Friday. I started building up around me. It was difficult for me to be present in the last part of the Teaching & Learning course. I had to give feedback on seven presentations over two days. I would prefer to use time on applying the feedback I had from the first round and perhaps try it out in the second round. I sensed a dynamic with one of the teachers who was new and participated partly as participant. I was so busy showing har skills. That was so annoying and my mind was filled with stuff I had to do.

I had planned a few day’s off Monday and Tuesday, but I was so occupied working on a poster I had to hand in Monday at 10. The weekend was spent on reading about methods and creating the first draft for the poster. Monday, I improved and printed the poster. The rest of the day, I spent on developing a business model for my personal company. Then I had a headache and spent the day in bed Tuesday. The tasked kept piling up in my head and bussed around. Though, I was unable to do anything.

Today was time for course exam with the poster. Fortunately it went well and I passed. Now I have the first 5 ECTS point. I also realized that I´m not supposed to upload a paper, but just a summary for another course. That reduced pressure. Then I´ve spent the day drawing / writing an A3. I interrupted my writing to make five post-its with tasks. Now I can se them on my question for the week. My pulse is normalized. I´ve realized that I have put too many activities into my calendar in my anxiety for the empty calendar. So what. I need to break down the tasks and prioritize.

Casper (senior researcher) shared a draft for an industrial phd fro a large company. I´m skeptical for relating TWI to communities of practice. It´s too constructionist for me. Though I do not want to be negative and supercilious. The description is also more precise than my own description. The candidate has also been writing in the OM magazine and published a paper (or under way). I feel a competitor breathing me down my neck. At least I can see what´s at stake. Casper needs to fight for his position being extended after new year. And now I have insight into his academic standpoint. I have to remember, that collaboration is the way forward. Also when we look at the topic in different ways.

[phdcharlie]

Day 82

I haven't been writing my diary this week. Monday was spent on catching up on literature. Now I have resumes on all of what I’ve read. Then I went to visit John (PhD within the same work-package in the research Program). We had a nice conversation about coordinating our work. My hope was that we could get a direct relation instead of communicating through the work-package leader. That seems to succeed. We talk about our work, but I’m not sure I understand him. He has done some interviews at company G and found that there is lacking communication between the factory and technology development (and product development). He was at the company when they laid off people in the autumn. It was primarily central administrative staff and not the technology department. John had experienced a pressure from the company to be at the site several days a week. Johns not interested in that. He is also trying to avoid some extra tasks they are urging him to do. I can recognize his description. We have both received a request from our common contact person. We arranged both to be at the company in May for a meeting. John has a plan to carry out experiments at the company applying eye-tracking and to propose changed business processes. I explained that I would work in a different way. We agreed to share data and help each other collecting data.

E-mails started lining up Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning. The work-package leader was on his mark’s as he had the impression that I was writing cases. Apparently, that’s what he’s doing. He had emphasized it both to me and the administration at the research program collecting one-pagers about the projects (meant as a short presentation and not a case description). My contact at company T had requested the work-package leader to coordinate within the work-package and used the word “case” in relation to my work. I briefed my supervisors and calmed down things. However, now I know that the companies request coordination and the research program has no intention of intervening in relation to the work-package leader. But now they are aware of lacking coordination. The companies are pushing the work-package leader who’s on his heels and tries to feed them off with case descriptions. I have informed both the work-package leader and the research program staff that I need scoping and coordination. My plan is also to inform the two companies. What a play of tennis!

I managed to keep focus on my Teaching & Learning course. I finished my presentation, which went well. Next task is to make a poster on research methods. I have a draft and want to go home and look in the books.

[phdcharlie]

Day 76

What a week. I managed to finish and send a one-pager for the Research Program. I received more rejections for giving talks at the course. It’s annoying, but I must move on and search my network for another one. A task for Monday. I’ve been searching my LinkedIN, but didn’t find any obvious.

The course was fine, but it leaves me with an impression of a topic I need to study further. It’s probably the same next week. Any preparation? I better check. Now I will go home and read a book about this week's topic.

[phdcharlie]

Day 75

Writing to days in a row for the first time this month. And I feel the pressure. I need to get on writing. It´s becoming more and more necessary for me to be able to tell the companies what I´m doing. It’s both good and bad. I do want to tell them about it. Though, I’m not ready. I haven’t read what I need to read. Maybe it’s too much with two courses this month and one in May and June. On the other hand, I will get my points now and not next year. But the pressure is right now.

[phdcharlie]

Day 74

A plan only last until it meets reality. Just as I think I´m on top of my week, I realize that the course is not four days from 9am to 2pm but three days 9am to 4 pm and until lunch day 4. Consequently, I had to rearrange two meetings and do not have the time for my project I expected. The course is fine. It provides come good reflections on methods. Though, I´m not doing what I expected. My weeks question is hanging above my desk and stares at me. Yesterday, I participated in a meeting about mentoring and to day I met my mentee, Hannah. Mentoring is something I’m looking forward to. Got a recommendation from my supervisor for the scholarship in a break. Now that’s ready to be sent.

[phdcharlie]

Day 72

Friday flew by. Friday breakfast went quite peacefully until the department manager informed us about new conditions for qualifying to be associate professor. I didn’t really understand what ”the new” was, but one kept asking questions and commenting. It seemed like a shift in balance between research and teaching for the benefit of research. The department manager emphasized the importance of both. I’m not sure where it’s relevant for me. Maybe not. At the following review meeting my supervisors and Casper (senior researcher) presented a new master-level course. I don’t feel competent to contribute with feedback. I’m not sure about their approach to change management. I was reminded about an interview with Edgar Schein. The review meeting was followed by another meeting about a course I’m supposed to teach. Sue is getting ready to let go as her pregnancy progress. I have to find a guest lecturer, but received a rejection Friday afternoon. I’m considering other options. Finally, a supervisor meeting. Pete (Main supervisor) participated in 20 minutes and Christine (co-supervisor) ended the meeting sharp on time. It was the last of the meetings she had arranged. They were planned to start 12.30 just after lunch, but it was difficult to get started on time. I’ve arranged the coming meeting. We went through status of my project and Christine encouraged me to apply for a scholarship for a course in Lausanne. I visited former colleges after work.

Today I’ve spent the day writing resume’s on literature. It’s a bit cumbersome though I think it sticks better when I’m taking notes on applicability. I’m considering whether I should make a form so that I can do it while reading. I have a backlog right now and it delays my reading. Furthermore, I’ve been writing on a scholarship. Got it all ready. I just need a recommendation from my supervisor. I’ve included a trip to Sweden and company G in the application. I’m unsure whether I qualify for the scholarship because of my previous income.

[phdcharlie]

Day 68

The pace is not reduced. Friday before Easter I used my evening for incorporating my supervisors comments into the study plan. Then I went to Barcelona Saturday. Nice and relaxing vacation. Home again, my uncle’s birthday and lunch with my son. Thursday, I managed to send two files to a friend for him to reed while traveling. Friday, once more writing two pages for the study plan. Sunday, my friend arrived and challenged my argumentation. ”But why” he kept asking. He had promised to be hard on me and so he was. He asked me to do an A3 and we continued the dialog Monday. Tuesday morning I rewrote the entire introduction to the study plan – again. I sighed and was encouraged by Sue: ”It’s gonna be better for each time”. I appreciate that she said it as a statement and not as a question. I had several things to do before my friend arrived. After a kop of coffee together I had the feeling that I needed to rewrite the introduction again. It can be more to the point. I didn’t do it though. My supervisor signed it. My friends workshop went all right. It was actually inspiring. There is quite a lot from the innovation world that I’m unaware of. Yesterday, I visited company T. It’s a great company. They are open and susceptible. Furthermore, I have a partnership with an international company with which my friend collaborates on LPPD. It could be interesting if the two companies could be tied together i my empirical work. Neither my friend and my contact at company T refused the idea. However, the international company are struggling to get their product ready for launch and that affects company T to scale down. Today I’ve been writing up my notes from the visit. My time in the afternoon disappeared – mailing a lot. Tomorrow I will visit a former colleague. My plans for the coming weeks are crowded with a course next week

[phdcharlie]

Day 40

Notes and reflections from presentations at the Research Program:

- The objective is to become the most competitive manufacturing country in the world.

- Technology has enabled manufacturing to be closer to the customers

- Business should be scientific (social paradigm) parallel with a more rigid and mathematic (natural) paradigm. The two paradigms don’t work in operations management today.

- Evolution of a OM research topic. Can I use this three-step approach? How does it work?

- Interventions can be difficult to get published in OM Journals

- Explain haw it works in an interesting way

- What is the difference between mechanisms and interventions?

- Design theory combines exploration and exploitation

- Feedback: compare the different paradigms, what do you mean by self-supporting teams?

[phdcharlie]

Day 33

Reflections after visiting case company G.

Questions for the group:

- What customer needs influence your future production system?

- How do you identify and verify information about that?

- I got the impression that you would start with competitive ability and strategy, but what has proceeded this?

- Principles yes, but how do you know it’s the right principles?

- Do you have a mutual understanding of what the word “principles” mean in this connection?

- Clarify – what is the process from idea to product or new production method?

- Is it the same process?

- Like value stream mapping identifying interfaces.

[phdcharlie]

Day 31

Did the work on literature I should have done yesterday. Reading until lunchtime, but it was difficult to concentrate. Instead, I worked on a poster. That didn’t really work out so I went home early at 4pm.

[phdcharlie]

Day 30

Today didn’t go as planned. No writing resumes on literature. The morning was spent on contacts, I should have done yesterday. That’s what’s happening when I don’t stick to my time buckets. I would like to be disciplined, but I’m also curious to see if I can keep it.

It’s not unnecessary things I’ve done. There was just no time for immersion. Tomorrow is another day. It’s difficult for me to dig deep into something if I have one hour and it takes me an hour to get into it.

On the other hand, I had a good supervisor meeting. We managed to align expectations. I like working with my supervisor. And the other people around here.

My thoughts are flying around in the room today.

[phdcharlie]

Day 29

A new month’s beginning. I’m seriously working on the research design. It’s the focus of my weekly question. Maybe it’s still a bit too abstract and not specific enough; yet. Maybe it will be along the way. It feels good framing my work.

I had a few comments on the article to the Program from my supervisor. It wasn’t much. What does that mean? I also received editorial feedback on the article for the OM magazine, but not much. Why not? The work-package leader of the Program only required a more specific research design.

I had an online talk with a friend. We talked about ”keeping the tension alive … be very patient ”. I’m not ready to make any final decisions on the research design right now. It needs to mature a little longer.

[phdcharlie]

Day 26

Wouu how time flies. There was a department meeting with breakfast this morning. Information from the department manager, but not much. Had a talk with a postdoc about her work. It sounds interesting and I would like to talk more with her, but didn’t manage to do it today.

The first draft of the study plan was sent to my supervisors. I’ve tried to plan a meeting Tuesday, but there is no space in Christine’s calendar. A secretary instructed me how to do refunds for travel expenses. Now I know that.

Ten minutes to 3pm i remembered the deadline to the Program and wanted to send it when I realized that I had to apply a template. I do my best to distribute the text in the template. What do they expect from me after a month’s work on the PhD? Well, it made my day a little longer. Enjoy the weekend.

[phdcharlie]

Day 25

It’s a mistake that I didn’t write yesterday. I actually had a really good and long talk with my supervisor. It clarified the purpose of my experiments. He suggested: A self sustainable inter-organizational learning process. Sounds cool and frame pretty much what I would like to do. It also made it easier to write an article to the research program. That’s how I spent the rest of the day.

Yesterday actually started with a cancellation from John. How frustrating that I don’t know where he stands and works in the work-package. I can’t wait for it.

Today I continued writhing on the Program-article. It helped me getting hold on the themes. I must remember that next time I write an article. The story and message fell into place first before I started pasting in what I had written previously. Actually learned from a former colleague.

I will walk/bike home with a good sense of getting things done.

[phdcharlie]

Day 23

Got hold on Ambidexterity – for now. I’m rather satisfied with my decision to distribute the different types of tasks throughout the week. Today, I concentrated on literature. The March paper was difficult to understand. Have previously had the same experience with Gregory Bateson. It’s comforting to have the experience that I gain from re-reading and writing a resume.

The technical director from G responded on my article. He did not approve how he was cited. He did though have some constructive comments I can incorporate in the article. I’ve been thinking of my role before I received his answer. It’s so easy for me to step into the role as consultant, but that is not appropriate now. I must try not to. I wonder whether his reaction is because I cite a (explorative) question he asked. Is he (unconsciously) afraid of being seen as weak when he as a leader not provides answers? As leaders are expected in the old paradigm. Am I a threat when step into the management space and gives answers? I’ll discuss it with my supervisor tomorrow before writing a new paragraph.

[phdcharlie]

Day 22

The summaries from visiting the companies are edited and sent to my supervisors. I expect to get feedback Wednesday. I’ve spent the day writing an article for an OM magazine. I’m pretty satisfied. The companies have received the article for approval. I’m looking forward to hear their opinion.

I picked up on last week’s question and formulated a new for this week. Maybe that’s a task for Fridays. Let’s see what happens.

Mostly optimistic. Thing are progressing nicely.