Life of a Grad Student

I am a PhD student from Iran living in Newyork, USA. As an immigrant and grad student I have my own stories to share with you. Open to hear all opinions to make myself and my life better.

[phdstudentfromheaven-blog]

That annoying question

We all have those moments when you know about the situation you are putting yourself into but you get tired and you want to talk about it... the worst that can happen is to hear this famous question: “Then why did you do it??”

 Coming to US as an Iranian student has many difficulties, it is not like other students. The process from the beginning is hard and it doesn’t get easier after a while. Because of whatever is going on, which I really don’t want to discuss,most of the students from Iran get “single entry” visa which means it is just good for entering the country once and then you are done. You are allowed to leave the country but if you want to come back you need to go to embassy again and start from zero or even below because this time they will try to check everything you have done in their country as well as your own. there is a chance that you wont get the visa, when it comes to US there is no guarantee for anything. So many of us decide to stay in the country till we finish the school and then decide to what to do next. 

Imagine you are in a foreign country, your family have a hard come coming over because getting the visa is hard ( I know people who waited for their visa for more than a year), you cannot go home because you don’t want to put all your efforts in jeopardy so stay in the country for god knows how long. The process normally takes between 4 to 10 years. I think we are allowed to have a break sometimes and start to talk about this with other people without getting judged. When ever you talk about the situation the person asks: “didn’t you know about this??” the answer is “YES, I did” which follows by “So why did you do it?”. I always want to slap the person in the face and say because there is no easy way for success and I took my chances and I am working on it but I am human, I get tired, I need to talk about the problems I have, this doesn’t mean that I didn’t know it or knowing it have would stop me from doing it but please, please be a good friend and just listen. 

PhD Student 007 

[phdstudentfromheaven-blog]

Life in US

In the last post I basically talked about everything that happened to me over the 5 month even though the title was arrival. Now I want to talk about the differences I felt between my life here and back home.

My hometown, Tehran, is a big city with population of more than 8 million which goes up to 12 with commuters. you can find everything in the city, and I mean everything you just need to know where to go or who to call. Most of people drive but the transportation system is good enough to live easily without having a car. the taxi system is way different and doesn't count as fancy and expensive that it is here. Traffic is a huge problem, it can take more than 2 hours to travel from west side to not so west side for example. The city is surrounded with mountains from 3 sides and the south part goes toward desert. we have all four seasons and yes my American friends we do have snow, as a matter of fact we have one of the highest ski resorts in the world right in the north part of Tehran. The main difference is that we don't have just down town in the city, each part of the city has its own down town, shopping center, food courts and parks to go which really helps with the traffic. 

You can a photo taken by me from my beloved Tehran and its mountains. You might think the mountains are really close but it is not, from this point you have about 20 minutes driving without traffic to reach to them. Another fun fact about Tehran is that the whole city has lights, the streets, highways, parks and everywhere you go in the nights you have lights. City it self looks like the down towns in the US. We have big shopping centers like Walmart in US but there is still lots of small business shops to cell the goods. Every neighborhood has its own shops for daily life and of course you have the option to go to chain ones. Malls are important, you can find them everywhere and you can find the stuff you want there. some malls have special categories like electronics only and some don't. Tehran is filled with apartments. Depending on the neighborhood and the flat itself the prices differs. Unlike US the downtowns are not the expensive places. It is expensive to own a shop there but no one wants to leave in the middle of because of traffic and all the people go around there. Houses are build using bricks and cement mostly, what ever they use other than theses is not wood.

Well I talked about all of those so I can start to talk about the differences. First thing most of Americans ask me when they hear the Name of Iran: Ohhh it should be very different here for you!! How are keeping up with the weather?? the answer is Yes it is different, unless I go to a city such as NYC no place is close to where I used to live. It is difficult to live in a small town where you have to drive long way and pay unreasonable parking fee to go to a decent restaurant. It is difficult that I have to have drive in order to get a Diet Coke because back home it was walking distant. About the weather: depending on where you in US you will have something: really dry and hot, really cold and dry, really hot and humid, really cold and yet humid. There are places that more normal with all the seasons but I didn't end up there. In NY we have cold weather with snow. I am not unfamiliar with the snow my friends, I even brought my snow board with me from home to use it during snow season. I know there are deserts in Iran as well and some people are coming from there but I don't think it is polite to make a comment like this when you see someone for the very first time. 

the streets are dark here, even the houses look dark to me. back home we all used chandeliers with several light bulbs on it and all we cared was to having the house lighten up. The darkness of the streets still is bugging me. the streets gets empty around 10 PM and just downtown (in the weekends) are crowded, this is also very different, there are always people outside back home. Restaurants close the kitchen at 9PM, ours were open till midnight only some fancy restaurants close earlier which still is later then 9 PM. Houses are made of wood. Houses are really old. the people in charge in shopping centers are very nice and friendly in contrary to back home which they get board and angry after 10 minutes. The sky is very beautiful here because of being less polluted. The towers are all in the down town and rest of beautiful and shorter houses are scattered in the city (it is more organized). Having fun here is different from back home. Going to bar and having drinks are not acceptable back home (Islamic Country so the alcohol is a no. no.) so you normally go a restaurant or a coffee place or park or even a mall over the weekend. 

In US if you see one mall you know you have seen them all but back home each one is different from the other and you can not find any similarity between them. Streets and everything is different in each city. Driving here is much easier compared to back home and people are more organized. 

I know I talked a lot about these and you know probably can know what is like to be US but Iran is the one short on sources. I think we can say both places are good and each one has its pros and cons to be live in, it all depends on what your priorities in life are. If you know what you want from your life you can choose wisely and be happy no matter where you go.

[phdstudentfromheaven-blog]

Arrival

After a long journey with a very long layover (together about 24 hours) I arrived to Philadelphia airport. Excited and tired at the same head over to the booth to get checked and officially enter the country. It wasn’t my first time travelling over seas so everything was normal and the officer was extremely nice. In my country everybody likes to makes comment on how things are done and they think nothing is in order and since US is among the best countries in the world they give too much credit to everything till they see it in person and then they realize that they are underestimating their own country. Truth is no matter where you go if you don’t have the right documents with you or you don’t have them organized and take long time to find it people in charge will get angry. The advice you mostly hear before coming is Americans are well organized and you should have this and that and these and if you don’t have them all they wont let you in and so on. They all sound like blah blah blah to me cause I never had any problem back home and I knew I wont have it here cause I am organized.

Unlike what most Americans think about Iran it is not all desert and we don’t leave like savages, we don’t ride camels, we don’t cover our faces like Arabians do (actually it is illegal to do such a thing) and we are not unfamiliar with technology. Most of Iranians in US come from the big cities in Iran (mostly the capital, Tehran) and most of the places here comes as shock to us. What they show in the movies and articles tells you that all the country is like NYC or LA but when you come here you realized they don’t have more than 10 cities that have been designed that way. The rest seems small compare to Tehran. I was lucky to not trust any of those and do my own research on that matter and nothing was shocking. My advice to anyone coming to US from any country is to use google street view and walk virtually in the streets. you need to know where you are going, other wise you will end up depressed. I knew people who had no idea how cold north part of US can get and they couldn’t tolerate it.

We stayed at the hotel for couple of days and started to search for an apartment. I already had found some apartments close to university but I wanted to see the place before renting it. Easiest way to find place that wasn’t on the internet was to walk (in my case drive) on the streets and call the ones that had a phone in front of the house for renting. I found the place I wanted in the second day and moved in instantly. essentials were bought in half a day and my very first place in US was ready in no time. 

At the beginning I and my boy friend back then weren’t in the same university. He came to US a few month before me and he had to go back after 3 days since he had his own things to take care of. my classes started in 4 days after arriving and my schedule was busy, busy, busy. I had to take 5 courses because of the policy of the school. Imagine, you have 5 grad courses, you just arrived in another country, you were away from school for 4 years, you are trying to adjust yourself with a whole new life and language and more importantly system... the first semester was like hell. I was tired the whole time, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t have fun and eventually I gave up.

My plan was to finish my master and then apply for PhD in the same school than my better half was so after one month I went there to talk some of the professors and see what the situation is. I knew there was one opening in an awesome lab there, I made an appointment with the professor and after talking to him for 20 minutes I knew I got it. It took only a month after that to receive the admission and I was so relieved and happy that I decided let’s start from the beginning. even though I could transfer courses that I had to the new school I didn’t, the courses that I already paid for and worked hard for them, but I wasn’t happy with the results. I didn’t learn anything because of the tight schedule and all the stress I was going through. So I started from the place I was before coming to US but this time I had the freedom to chose less courses and focus on the ones that I had.

My word to everyone coming to US to study: do your research and learn as much as you can about their system before coming. when you arrive you don’t have time to do all those. Practice on your language skills, you can even start reading about the courses you should take at the first semester, the more you do before coming the less you have to think about after. 

Student 007

[phdstudentfromheaven-blog]

Who am I?

You guys might wonder what a boring PhD student has to tell us? Their life is just about some books; reading, reading and reading boring, stupid books with strange symbols, but truth is we are human like you and share the same experiences. some other when hear PhD directly think of the great ones such as Einstein, Hawking and others but no people, they are one of a kind not everyone can be them, not everyone wants to be them. So what is (or who is) a PhD student??

there are different reasons for pursuing high level of education: true love for knowledge, hoping for a better life, or full filling the requirements for your dream job. In my case I love the Dr. suffix and i am hoping for a better life. 

As of today I am 28 years and 8 month old exactly. I finished my undergrad when I was 22 and started my grad life at 26. In the years between I wondered around for 1 year and worked for 3 years before coming to US. In additional to that I always worked as a teacher and never actually consider it a career because I never liked it but the 3 years that I worked in a company I had the most fun of my life till today (who knows what will happen tomorrow?) that position was nothing to do with my degree. I worked in a small import company for salon equipment. I was a manager and translator but did everything from making the coffee to giving a tour of town to our guests and I loved it. Now the question is why I left that position if it was that perfect? even though I had fun it wasn’t something I wanted to do for rest of my life, I couldn’t see a promising future since the company was small and people who worked there where totally different than me. I finished my school in one of  the top 3 colleges in my country, out of 60 people that started with almost 30 came to US to continue their education so you can see from the day one we all were in an environment that told us you can go if you want and you can have different life (not better life but different! the adjective comes from you and only you). 

My boyfriend back then started to push me to apply for school and leave the country. we both worked for a time a realized that this is not satisfying us so after a long time of talking we agreed on leaving our home. In the worst case scenario we would earn a degree and go back home filled with different experiences than others. So we weren’t losing anything. Long story short; we got admission, we came to US and we are living in an small town and we love it. Oh, I missed one: we got married. 

This blog will have stories from day one that I stepped in US. I will share my happy, angry and sad moments with you. For sure there will be lots of gossips.

Lots of hugs everyone.

Student 007