Rise of the Phoenix @phoenix-risen-from-ashes - Tumblr Blog

*COMPETITION* To celebrate the US box launch of #LifeisStrange2 tomorrow, follow and RT this post to be in with a chance to win a t-shirt designed and signed by Gonzalo (Sean) or Roman (Daniel)!

18+ only, T&Cs apply: sqex.link/TshirtContest

Watch the full video of Roman and Gonzalo singing the t-shirts through the link below!

https://sqex.link/RomanGonzaloTshirtSigning

Did anybody else have a weird obsession with drawing Mickey Mouse as a kid?

No? Just me? Okay then.

Childhood/Adolescent Dysphoria

*Disclaimer: these are just my experience(s). Take all of these with a grain of salt. Just because this is how I knew, doesn’t mean it’s the same for you.*

*Disclaimer 2: all of these are things I experienced before I found out that transgender was a thing.*

*TW: puberty (and related topics), genitals, mention of suicide/attempts, changing rooms, bathrooms(?)*

When I was around 4, I remember sitting on my front porch with my grandma and asking her why I didn’t have “boy parts.” She just laughed at me and told me I was being silly, and I never asked her about it again.

When I was growing up, by the time I could go to the bathroom entirely by myself, I would stand over the toilet to pee.

I never was that kid who planned my “dream wedding.” It really wasn’t a big thing to me.

I was the stereotypical “tomboy.” I would always play in mud, find worms, climb trees, etc.

I didn’t wear shirts around my house until I was like 7/8(?) and that was just because my parents made me

One time, me and my sister tried on my aunt’s bra, and I literally wanted to scream bc I hated it

Same goes for my cousin’s bathing suit when I was like 14(?) I’d try it on, to try to force myself to be comfortable, and it would end up with me feeling more than disgusted.

When I was in 5th grade, we had our first separated reproductive education lesson, and I literally didn’t pay attention to any of it. I felt more than uncomfortable being in a setting with girls like that. At the end, they gave us “care packages,” and I threw mine away the same day.

Anytime my mom would start telling me about puberty, I would get mad anxious because I felt absolutely disgusting about my body developing in that way.

When my mom took me to buy a training bra, I tried as hard as I could to get her to not do that, silently cried the whole way to the store, and refused to get out of the car. I did the exact same thing anytime I’d have to wear it anywhere.

I stayed in extreme denial about any of the female changes that would happen to me.

When my mom told me that I needed to start shaving my legs, I scoffed to myself, and ended up only doing it the one time she forced taught me.

I would steal my little brother’s “kid” shaving kit, and “shave” my face when I was in the shower.

I had my first sui. attempt when I was 12, and never once spoke to my doctor about what I was going through, because I felt like it was insane/not possible/that something was mad wrong with me

I always would rather sing the male parts in chorus, than the female ones. My chorus teacher would get so mad at me, but it made me more than happy.

I tried to be hyper femme from like 7th-10th grade, and have pretty much blacked out all of that from my memory because that time period was EXTREMELY dysphoria enducing

In 7th grade, a lot of the girls in my class were getting happy about getting their period, and I acted like I didn’t give a shit, but was beyond distressed about it

When I was 14, my “week” came, and I sat in the bathroom, and had a panic attack for a solid two hours.

I never was an athletically inclined person, but always dreamed of playing basketball with guys. In middle school, we would have time in the morning before school to go outside and shoot hoops, but none of the other guys would let me play with them, even though that’s all I’ve ever done, besides music

It was always dysphoria enducing to change in women’s locker rooms. I’d always change in a bathroom stall.

If I HAD to wear skirts, it was always a skort. But if I had a choice, I’d always choose shorts over that.

I never knew how happy lifting weights made me until I was in high school, and actually had limited access to the weightroom

Just generally being called a girl/getting grouped with them made me beyond uncomfortable

Anytime I would wear pants - blue jeans specifically - I would be confused as to why the crotch are on them weren’t filled out

If I think of anymore, I’ll make an edit.

Let me know if you’d want to see some experiences I’ve had since I opened up about being a dude. (5 years, man)

Message me if you need to/want to talk. My inbox is open.

#transgender #trans #ftm #male #transmale #transman #transmed #transmedicalist #how i knew #transgender problems #lgbt #actually ftm #dysphoria #gender dysphoria #gd #mlm #mlw

So, my boyfriend has pretty much made it clear that even if he loses family over me (they’re EXTREMELY conservative), he’s cool with it. It makes me feel like shit, but I also feel like he’s really in this for the long haul, so it’s also relieving.

Am I wrong for pointing that out to him?

#transgender #ftm #actually ftm #trans problems #bisexual #gay #mlm #things nobody talks about #transmed #lgbt #trans

If gender dysphoria isn’t real, why am I sitting in a bathtub completely clothed, because this is my first bath in a week and a half?

#transgender #actually trans #actually ftm #dysphoria #gender dysphoria #gd #ftm #transmed #anti terf

xx-bitchesbrokenhearts-xx

Am I the only one who forgets they’re trans?

Like I’ll just be minding my business and stuff feeling like my usual guy self… and forget I’m trans??? Like I just think I’m a cis guy in the moment and then see my reflection, and everything just falls apart and I feel super empty and numb and just want to cry.

chaoszgod

if gender was a social construct, dysphoria could be alleviated by therapy alone, which has been proven to be incorrect multiple times. that’s all

phoenix-risen-from-ashes

🤷🏻‍♂️ I mean

yukilefay

- I’m glad you’re here with me.

- I’m right where I’m supposed to be. And I won’t go anywhere else. Not without you.

@marinecosplay as Chloe Price.

and me as Rachel Amber.

From Life is Strange.

Photo by @rizzyun.

New amberprice pics!!! :D

littlescribbs-deactivated202101

Beautiful ❤️

You girls warm my heart. This is amazing!

loveroftheligth

I want that great love. That love everyone desires, but only few are lucky enough to get. The one you can see in someone’s eyes and feel in the deepest parts of your heart. I want someone to look at me like I am their reason for existing, like I am the one who puts the stars in their nightsky. I want someone to kiss me softly, to kiss me gently, but with a passion deeper than the oceans. I want to be someone’s reason to be truly happy and I want someone to never get tired missing me. I want someone to even love the parts of me that not everyone gets to see. I want the great, great love you read about in the books and you see in the movies. I want the great love that never seems to die, burning like an eternal flame. I want that great love, but I am not sure if it even does exist.

leohearts

“I love us for the way our eyes make love to each others souls.”

— Christopher Poindexter

funeraljorts

Please reblog with the age when you knew you were Trans or Nonbinary

My parents think that everyone knows right away when they’re little, or their parents know or something. I need to know for myself what others experience.

phoenix-risen-from-ashes

I knew when I was 10, but didn’t have language for it until I was 16

thejadedkiwano

To all the Tumblr users who tend to use tags very liberally:

Let’s play a game.

Type the following words into your tags box, then post the first automatic tag that comes up.

you

also

what

when

why

how

look

because

never

#youtuber #also #what is sleep #wheninthailand #why am i doing this #how to #lookaround #because #exert from a book i’ll never write

𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡...

𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘻𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥, 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯?

𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘭 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘦 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘢𝘱𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥. 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘌.

𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩. 𝘔𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘤 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵.

𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.

𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘺. 𝘈 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦.

𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭.

𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘌𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘷𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶.