5am and you're still on my mind

[phpoetry]

That version of me you’re still in love with, She died over a year ago

P.H.

[phpoetry]

She was caged like a bird singing at the top of her lungs but no one could hear the sounds of her screams. So she chanted louder and louder until eventually her mouth went numb, and her voice gave out,  Only then did they begin to listen. Only then did she realize that they hear you the first time my dear, no need to keep singing the same tune

P.H.

[phpoetry]

His words were bullets And every time I let him in He always pulled the trigger And I always gave him the gun.

P.H.

[phpoetry]

He was the knight with no armour, trying to fix the damsel of his own distress

P.H.

[phpoetry]

They teach us from a young age that cruelty means affection That if he loves you, he’ll show it through his immature acts of hatred and violence If he’s mean, he likes you. If he’s aggravating, it’s because he cares. So we as women grow up believing neglect is all a part of the process The more he hurts us the more we fall in love But listen my dear, Sticks and stones are just as bad as lies and deceit No worthy man will ever have to build you up by tearing you down Don’t ever normalize his actions just to justify yours And please no matter what you do Don’t EVER let him steal away your thunder.

P.H.

[phpoetry]

How sad it is that you made torture and neglect feel like home to me

P.H.

[phpoetry]

You broke my wings

And now I can’t seem to fly again without crashing

But I’m still trying my best to fix them...

I really am.

P.H.

[phpoetry]

We weren’t supposed to end up this way...

But I guess that’s what happens when your brain tells your heart you can’t.

P.H.

[phpoetry]

You said I deserved better

But I didn’t want better

I wanted YOU.

P.H.

[phpoetry]

You shut down

Not out of fear of love

Because you were already in it,

But out of sadness,

For it was far too out of reach.

So out of fear of getting hurt again,

To avoid the subject and pain altogether

You shut out anything and everything that reminded you of it

Until eventually

The only thing you had left to shut out

Was me.

P.H.

[phpoetry]

You kept saying “we’re gonna be okay”

And you’re right,

We were,

Just not together.

Because it’s come to a point

Where it’s much easier to put out our fire

Than to ignite it anymore.

P.H.

[phpoetry]

But my love, if you’re willing to throw it all away over the smallest drop of water in the puddle, maybe you weren’t meant for this after all.

P.H.

[phpoetry]

And I just don’t want to wait for someone to figure out what they want, only for it to turn out not to be me

P.H.

[phpoetry]

Hold me like I’m the last bit of air escaping from your lungs and tie me down like you can’t afford to let me escape

P.H.

[phpoetry]

But don’t I deserve better than to be drowning in the tears you gave me watching you hold on to my life raft but always keeping it for your damn self

P.H.

[phpoetry]

Just kiss me like the sun kisses the waves on the shore Softly and gently With your warmth against my skin,  Then wrap your arms around me like The tide crashing into the sand And don’t let me go Even for a moment

P.H.

[phpoetry]

You told me I was the brightest person you’ve ever met in your life, that might be true but I don’t shine without you

P.H.