If I can't be the muse, I can be that bitch.

Hi, I'm pianoprincess, 24 year old questioning my blog theme, a femme enby, and this is my tumblr page. My special interests include analog horror, sanrio, and sex toys.

[calemsbutt-deactivated20131204]

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My contribution to the OFF fandom

[coughwheezecough]

"It's a beautiful day friend!"

"Is it?"

"Somewhere it is!"

"I didn't leave you Carl"

"You left the world"

"Spend the rest of your life in solitude. Free the rest of us, from you."

[kind-of-human2]

this came to me in a vision

[kind-of-human2]

I think what makes Jax such good representation, at least for me, is that she’s a wake up call to any self-destructive transfems out there.

Her story essentially says, “here’s someone who was so deathly afraid of being known that she drove away everyone who tried to reach out to her, and that killed them. She was given nothing but support, and still chose to throw it all away. She’ll never get to live as the person she wanted to be, or be remembered as anything other than the one she was. She never learned to heal, she never chose to grow, she never chose to be herself, and that killed her. Are you going to do that too?”

[planetaryaethertalks]

Thoughts on "Llamas With Hats: Epilogue"

Like many people who grew up in the early 2010s, I have always had a special place in my heart for Lamas with Hats and how it transitioned short-form absurdist comedy into a broader story. What, now 15 years, later strikes me about the epilogue is how it reshapes the main message of the series in a way that feels like it has grown and aged with the changing times.

The original ending, sad and unceremonious does fit the series as a whole and looking back on it, it speaks to the sensibilities of the time - it was made around the rise of 'dark humor' as a mainstay in internet content and it illustrates the desire for stories with steaks and consequences. This particularly spoke to many young people who, as they are entering adolescence, grew tired of "happily-ever-afters" and the want for connection to the broader world - a world that they were just coming to understand the dark, complex, and scary nature of.

The new ending, likewise, reflects the new understanding of the world that its original audience now holds. We have experienced and watched death, destruction, and interpersonal conflicts similar to that "Lamas with Hats" touches on (albeit with less eating of hands). Constantly being bombarded with images and videos of tragedies all around the world has withered the appeal of hopeless endings. The new ending does not change any of the death or destruction Carl caused, humanity is still extinct and the world is still mostly reduced to rubble and sand, but there is still hope, not for those who have lost their lives, but for a better future.

Even someone as violent and selfish as Carl has the potential to change. That doesn't make them any less dangerous to be around or that their past actions should be forgotten, but that everyone can change for the better - but only if they choose to of their own free will, that you cannot (regardless of how much you care about the person or how damaging their actions are) make then want to change. Carl's change into a tree both symbolizes a literal rebirth and a metaphorical one, but his new form does not have agency in the world. He cannot move, we do not see him speak, he cannot hurt anyone anymore. For him, only by giving up all that he was could he begin anew.

On a smaller note, with his reincarnation, also brings hope for those he had killed in his previous life, that perhaps they too are somewhere in a new form with a new life. The harm that was done to them and to the world will never be undone, but the future will be better, kinder.

These are the hopes that I, along with many others, hope for the future of the real world. The dead are dead, the trauma inflicted, but the future doesn't need to be as harsh as the past and in this way I think the epilogue does an amazing job of keeping true to the characters and the world of the original while speaking to the new needs and experiences of its audience.

[awhitewomansinstagram]

Bless Jason Steele. Now I can write, “When I left it all behind and you fled to become the moon, I crushed myself into a seed and let everything I destroyed push me far underground, where it finally felt dark. And I know we are miles apart, but in frame I reach up to you and you cast your light down on me, and I sense somehow that life can go on” and it would be canon-compliant to Llamas With Hats.

[a-side-character]

I'm sure we're all aware by now that FilmCow continues to be a master of surreal/bizarre videos with deeper meanings, but I'm still thinking about the Llamas with Hats Epilogue.

Specifically, about that first video-within-a-video that plays in the beginning. Because, unless I'm mistaken (and bear in mind I haven't read the babies book so maybe that disproves this), that seems to be the first time this has happened, or at least the first time Carl was caught.

I mean, just look at the dialogue here:

Carl: "I don't like the accusatory tones in your voice."

Paul: "I'm, not accusing you of anything."

Carl: "I'm a pillar of the community. And a known philanthropist."

Paul: "I know Carl, I just don't understand how a human hand ended up on our floor."

I know tumblr users are notoriously bamboozled by things like this (piss on the poor website and everything), but to my ears Paul does seem genuinely confused here. He's NOT accusing Carl of anything, not like he does in the other episodes. He doesn't go into the conversation knowing that Carl was the one who did it. There's just a severed hand on the floor, and he's doing all he can to wrap his head around why that would be (even going so far as to "retrace his steps"! He's confused and genuinely looking to Carl for explanation and support!)

This is further evidenced by their later exchanges, once it's been revealed that Carl was indeed responsible.

Paul: This is terrible, Carl

Carl: I can see now that I acted without knowing all the facts.

Paul: I just... I can't belive you're capable of such a thing

Carl: It was a confused moment. Tensions were high

Paul: I don't know, Carl

Carl: I'm just as much as victim as anybody

Paul: I'd like to belive that...

That doesn't read to me like the interactions we've seen from them before. Paul is disgusted and upset by what happened, of course, but he's also upset at the fact that it was Carl who did it. He doesn't want to belive that his partner ("romantic friendship" and all) could be capable of such a thing.

I think this moment - this first time of shock and beratement by Paul - is the high that Carl is chasing every time he does something like this. Only, like any addict, he keeps needing to up the ante in order to feel it, and it'll never quite feel like it did the first time. And, every time he does it, he pushes Paul further and further away.

[jijiwiggu]

Charlie the Unicorn is about rejecting the toxic positivity being forced upon you as capitalist greed is destroying the world. That it is justified to feel these negative thoughts as everything is getting worse.

Llamas with Hats is about an abusive toxic partner accepting their situation. Where redemption and forgiveness is not available, the best outcome is to stay far away from each other.

Shadowstone Park is about doing good in the face of seemingly undefeatable cruelty and suffering. To keep going even when it feels like there is no hope.

Detective Heart of America is about blind nationalism and patriotism. If you're not willing to critique your nation, then you will become the evil that you choose to fight against for your country.

Ghost House is about one man's homoerotic journey delving into his masculine insecurities.

[janknabobfdi-xxxnitrodarkxxx]

too many web series nowadays start out trying to be deep and have a complex plot and tackle complex themes and lorebait and end up eventually fumbling the bag trying to live up to high expectations and get wrapped in internet discourse

they don't know that the best pieces of internet media start out as random bullshit that only exist to do lol random jokes made by randos for fun before slowly developing a plot that ends up emotionally devastating you in the end after you already get attached to the characters

[beatusdymphna]

Before the toxic yaoi and human meat eating wonders of hannibal I had these guys:

They were my hannigram

[frank-the-trash1]

"I don't fw indie shows"

[desk-drawerr]

By popular demand: He eat a Wawamelon

[artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet]

i was training a young person at work, and she referred to sexual assault as "SA" out loud, and i immediately was like, "no, it's sexual assault, call it what it is," bc idgaf if the algorithm overlords have taught y'all that you should fear direct language, how tf do any of you expect to ever address real issues with any amount of seriousness if you can't even say the words? imagine an advocate looking a sexual assault survivor in the eyes and asking "did he grape you?" it's absolutely fucking absurd, but these young interns and new hires are coming into an environment where we deal with survivors of all different kinds of abuse, and they're coming with the mindset that the words are as bad as the actions, and that makes them shitty at the job and look juvenile af

i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience

say the fucking words, guys. just say the goddamn words before i go insane!!!

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[pingintech]

literally a cartoon bad guy

[zegalba]

Yoshitaka Amano: 灰青色の快楽 (1999)

[flowerytale]

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[zegalba]

Yoshitaka Amano: 1001 Nights (1998)