about sissy

sissyってなにか、日本人向けに紹介します。

[bimbocracy]

every single negative stereotype about women was dreamt up by men who were projecting. fight me about it.

[bimbocracy]

“women can’t drive”

It is so well known that women are better and safer drivers than men that OUR CAR INSURANCE RATES ARE LOWER. Women get into fewer accidents, get fewer DUIs, and receive fewer speeding tickets than men.

“women never shut up”

Several scientific studies have shown that not only do men talk more than women, they also think that women have been talking for much longer than they actually have. Men interrupt and talk over women, dominate conversations, and still think women talk too much.

“women are shallow”

Lol next

“my wife is my ball and chain lmao”

Multiple studies have shown that marriage between men and women: Increases male lifespan, decreases female lifespan Decreases male depression rates, increases female depression rates Decreases male stress levels, increases female stress levels Increases male health and happiness, decreases female health and happiness Increases a man’s chance of getting a raise or promotion, decreases a woman’s chances of getting a raise or promotion

“women are too emotional”

Men love to say this about women after hurting them, in order to shift the blame and dismiss their feelings in one go. In reality, women are taught to hold our tongues and control ourselves quite literally from birth. We’re taught to put men’s needs and wants ahead of our own emotions regardless of the personal cost. Men are taught to do more or less whatever the fuck they want to women. Men take their emotions out on women while women are expected to shove theirs down.

I could go on and on but I don’t really think I need to.

[control999]

Don’t know if I agree or not, but it’s definitely an interesting point.

[bimbocracy]

the nice thing about statistics is that you don’t actually have to agree with them in order for them to be true

[scifiscribbler]

What…

What happens at age 45 and unhappens a year later?

[lessonsintrance]

The men stop pretending to be 40, then stop pretending to be 45.

[scifiscribbler]

If “Up the target age by three’ is ‘I am no longer forty’ that provokes signifcantly more questions about the rest of the maths.

To be clear: I do not doubt the stats. They just horrify me.

[lockedsoccerfaggot-deactivated2]

The Faggot's Pledge

I WILL SWALLOW unless otherwise instructed. A Man’s cum deserves it as does the Man himself. Swallowing reinforces the bond and the position between Man and faggot.

I WILL DEEPTHROAT to the best of my ability regardless of whether I gag. A well-rounded faggot must master the use of its lips, tongue AND throat to maximize a Man’s pleasure.

I WILL NOT USE MY HAND unless instructed. My mouth and faghole is my sexual organ.

I WILL NOT TOUCH MYSELF when sucking a Man’s cock. His pleasure is my own. To suggest otherwise is deeply disrespectful.

I WILL NOT EXPECT RECIPROCATION — ever. See above.

I WILL MAKE MYSELF AVAILABLE and serve on His terms to the very best of my ability. A Man should never have to jerk Himself off when a faggot could do the job, instead.

I WILL BEG HIM TO CALL ME NAMES, such as ‘faggot,’ ‘cocksucker,’ and ‘cumdump.’ A faggot must accept its place on the sexual totem pole. Such names are a Man’s way to claim His superiority over a faggot.

I WILL CONTINUE TO SERVE for as long as a Man deems appropriate, whether minutes or hours, without complaint.

I pledge these things because I am a faggot, and because I am at their service.

[subbttmbitch]

Yes i am

[profreedom]

I just needed to reblog this….

[candysluttoy]

100% yes and yes

[lucas2525]

Yes, I am a faggot!

[neswpnw]

Tips on Fucking Doggy Style That Tops Often Don’t Tell Bottoms

Here are some tips on becoming a better bottom that the tops you have sex with may not tell you either out of a desire to not offend or because they get a thrill from telling others that we bottoms cannot handle their cock ;-)

SPREAD YOUR KNEES WIDE. The wider the bottom spreads his knees, the easier it will be while in doggy style. YES! If this is the first position he puts you in, use this trick to get used to his cock. 

ARCH YOUR BACK. This will not only look sexier to him, but also make deep penetration easier and less painful.

PUSH YOUR ASS OUT. This shows the top you crave his cock in your ass. Once he is in, you can push back to the rhythm of his thrusts.

PLACE YOUR CHEST SQUARELY ON THE BED. There is a reason a top pushes your head in the pillow or the sheets. This helps arch your back and push your ass out. It’s visually stimulating, because the focus is now completely on the ass you have presented to the top. The symbolic submission is also a big turn-on to a dominant top.

RELAX YOUR ANAL SPHINCTER. Having adopted the position described in steps 1-4, you should now focus your mind on relaxing your anal sphincter. It may help to remember how you take a dump, because the muscular relaxation is identical. Steps 1-5 should, with practice, enable very deep penetration with little or no pain.

ALLOW DEEP PENETRATION. Once you’ve mastered the previous steps, you may let him spread his own legs wider than yours so he can get more directly above you to pump his cock down and deep, with his balls bouncing off your ass.

REACH FOR HIS BALLS. Many tops find this very arousing, because you are fondling the sacks that produce their sperm, affirming their manhood.

COMMUNICATE. Tell him how much you enjoy having his cock in you. Let him know if you like his scent. Ask him to go slow if you feel pain.

Additional tips may be appropriate to partners who thrive on domination and submission. In all cases, these should be within reason. Both partners must be comfortable with this. Experiment to see what works best.

LET HIM SPANK YOU. A lot of dominant men get turned on by slapping the asses they are fucking, and seeing those asses turn a rosy color.

LET HIM GRAB YOUR HAIR. Another turn-on for many dominant tops.

LET HIM HOLD YOUR NIPPLES OR MAN BOOBS. As he pumps his cock up your ass.

LET HIM CALL YOU NAMES THAT TURN HIM ON IN THE HEAT OF THE FUCK. “Bitch,” “cocksucker,” “fag,” etc. But only when used in a non-derogatory way. This is about breaking taboos (which are charged with emotional intensity) and letting both of you get aroused by embracing your (contrasting) inner natures.

LET HIM CALL YOUR HOLE A “PUSSY” OR “CUNT.” That is, after all, its functional equivalent.

SHOW HIM RESPECT. Be polite. Call him Sir. Thank him after a good fuck.

[xxlmaster]

Learn!

[cissybeech-deactivated20191117]

Excellent  advise to follow, sure to use to please the men n my life !!!

[whiteslavesforblackowners]

Good for fags & sissies to know to better serve their Masters.

[thatmissannie]

Just to clarify

In BDSM there are three separate forms of power exchange. In no particular order:

Sadism & Masochism

Topping & Bottoming

Domination & Submission

Sadism & Masochism is the exchange of power through pain. Spanking, flogging, whipping, caning, CBT, nipple torture, even rough sex. Like feeling a little pain with your pleasure? You’re a masochist. Does making someone hurt bring you pleasure? You’re a sadist. Can you be both? Absolutely. I think most of us are, in subtle ways. (My Domme pointed out it was rather sadistic of me to tease my dog with a treat to make him do cute tricks.)

Topping & Bottoming is the exchange of power through sex. One of you is in control of the situation, whether it’s just for this roll in the hay, or every single time with your partner. That person is topping. The passive, or controlled one is bottoming. So if it’s being held down or tied up during sex, or begging for an orgasm, or edging someone until they cry… that is sexual power exchange. Can you be a top and a bottom? Oh, yes, you can. You can even do it in the same romp, if that’s what works for you and your partner.

Domination & Submission is the exchange of power through emotions and intimacy. D/s (the shorthand for this) is about rules, structure, discipline, and protocol. And that can be as intense as a 24/7 Master/slave relationship, or as simple as calling your husband ‘Sir’ or ‘Daddy’ because he said so. In between is a WORLD of amazing ways to exchange power mentally.

Rules are set in place with a purpose -not just because they’re sexy. Rules are things like: Check in via text when you leave work (so I know you’re on the road and shouldn’t text). Send a photo of your outfit every morning (so I can see how beautiful you look today, and compliment you). Work out four times a week (because I want to help you stay healthy).

Protocols are similar, they are standards of behavior, such as the way you talk to and address your partner, hand them a drink, carry yourself when others are around, or present yourself to them in varying situations. Protocols are brilliant for reinforcing the D/s dynamic. Broadly speaking, you’re not often reminded of protocols unless you misstep. So something as simple as remembering to stand to your girlfriend’s left and wait quietly if she’s talking to someone at a party can reinforce your submission to her.

Discipline is about reinforcing the dynamic and enforcing rules and protocols. Mistakes are made, rules forgotten. We’re all human. That is when discipline comes in. The transgression is addressed, punishment handed out, and then the slate is wiped clean. Add in some affection after the fact and you’ve just reinforced everything you are working towards together. The intimacy required for this is pretty damn intense, and it’s important to know each other well before diving in.

Structure is key in a D/s dynamic, because without consistency, it can all fall apart. Rules that aren’t enforced are unlikely to be followed. A Dom who allows his sub to get away with everything isn’t likely to keep the respect he has earned. And respect and reverence are part and parcel of the whole kneeling thing. Likewise, a submissive who is constantly fighting the rules she agreed to isn’t respecting the dynamic, and isn’t doing her part to make it work. D/s is a lot of work for both partners, and isn’t something to be jumped into too quickly or taken lightly.

—–

Now, to review, you can mix and match the forms of power exchange however suits you and your partner(s). And it is often different from one partner to the next. Some people fit the classic roles of Dom/Top/Sadist and Sub/Bottom/Masochist. Some people switch between sadism and masochism, while always remaining a Dom and top. Some people switch between topping and bottoming. Do you see the point I’m getting at here?

You can be any combination of those six roles in any given relationship, and that includes NOT being one of them, even when, traditionally, the others may apply.

Wanting to be in control in the bedroom does NOT automatically make you a Dom. (Say it again for the fuckboys in the back.)

Enjoying rough sex and spanking does NOT automatically make you a sub.

And you can very well be a Dom who doesn’t physically punish his sub or enjoy rough sex. And you can easily be a submissive who does not get spanked.

The definition of these terms is much broader than my summary, and will differ from person to person. Don’t pigeonhole yourself by feeling you need to adhere to a stereotypical definition of any of these terms or roles.

And if you feel I missed something, and it’s possible I did, as this is based entirely on my reading and experiences in my local community, let’s talk about it.

[m4mdiscipline]

How to fully control Your sub in 9 steps

1:  You  need to get into his head.

-Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.  Use this information against him and to Your advantage.

-Find out what humiliates him, and to what level.

-Make him show his loyalty to You regularly.  Reward him, even if it’s just with positive attention when he does.

- Aside from family, close friends and work, give him 0% privacy.  Don’t hide this process from him, make him partake in handing it over to you in ways that demonstrate how he is “losing the privacy.”  

-Make him need You for everything.  Point out how You help him, how You guide him, and how You accept the negative things about him that others may not.

- Hypnosis, especially while they are sleeping can help transfer messages, ideas and ideals about You deep into their faggot head.

2:  Punish him often for everything, no exceptions!

- Don’t let him get away with anything!  When You let your sub get away with something. You are telling him that You don’t care for him and that what he did was ok.

- You can Spank, paddle, or whip him.

- Humiliate him past what is easy for him.

- Long term bondage

- Corner time

- Food restrictions

- Writing standards/lines\

- Write a book report or essay.

- Ground him/take away privileges.

- Wash his mouth out with soap.

- Make him do anything he hates.

- Get creative and make the punishment match the crime.

- Never use separation or the threat of leaving/ending Your control over him as a punishment.  That is counterproductive to the end goal (trust and service) and is detrimental to the faggot.

3:  Routinely discipline him.  This is different than punishment.

- Spank him once a week, just because You can, not too hard, not too soft.

-Humiliate him often.

- 5-10 minuets of corner time a day can do wonders for him, like a sub’s meditation.

- If he is stressed, give him a break and put him in some comfy bondage for a while.  You may or may not want to integrate impact play with this.  For lots of subs, some pain can really help elevate their mode for the rest of the day or longer.

- Routine discipline will save You time and energy in the long run.  You will have to punish him less as a result.

- Taking care of You can be part of his discipline.  Have him do Your laundry, cleaning, etc.

4:  On some level, even if it’s small, keep Your sub horny for You.

- Talk sexy to him.

-Sexualize non sexual things/activities You are interested in. He will see whatever it is You’ve sexualized as such and be more interested/eager to engage.

- Have Your sub do some or all of Your body grooming. This can be Your baths, Your nails, shaving, trimming, waxing, etc.

- Scare him by telling him when and what You’re going to do to him in the near future.

- Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.

- Make him give You orgasms.  This is different from sex.  This is a service.

- Let him rest on You to smell You as You watch TV or read.

- Give him underwear/items of Yours to smell as he sleeps.

- Hypnosis, especially while Your sub sleeps can help with this too.

5:  Control Your own feelings of guilt.

-      Your sub needs You to be strong “with” him.  You may show vulnerabilities in Yourself for other aspects of Your life. When it comes to him and Your control over him, be firm!

-      Some meanness and cruelty will be needed from time to time to help break Your sub down.

-      Your sub may not want everything You give him/ do to him, but he needs it.

-      Letting Your sub get away with insubordinate behavior because You feel guilty adequately and severely addressing it is weak.  You need to control that shit.

-      Sub faggots need a real man who is close to them to guide them.  Sometimes real men need to show the fag that they are inferior.  This can’t always be done by talking.  And if it is done my talking, the talking can’t be politically correct/kind.

-      Humiliation/breaking him down, teaching him to serve long term, these are all things he needs.  You are filling his needs.

-      Remember, You both need to be happy.  But happiness comes from different places for different people.  If there is communication, and Your sub has communicated that he needs this life to be happy, then You are doing him a service and loving him by breaking him down and controlling him.

-      A good sub is hard to find. Don’t let the guilt of giving him what he needs stop You from doing so. What he needs may be overwhelming for him and he may break. If he does be there for him.

6: Humiliate/degrade/break him down on some level daily, some days more than others.

- Have him wear a small butt-plug for a time, wifi enabled if possible.

- Have him be naked or close to it, around You and or Your friends.

- Make him wear a collar or other symbol of inferiority.

- Make him wear a chastity device sometimes.

- Teach them “tricks” like sit, drop to their knees to kiss Your crotch, etc.  In public or with friends randomly call out a trick every now then. Make sure Your sub does this flawlessly without hesitation.

- Make him masturbate for You.

- Slap him in the face.

- Spit on him.

- Treat him as an inferior in public.  (Ex: he carries all bags, opens doors, eats Your leftovers, holds Your drinks, tie Your shoes  etc.)

- Make him eat his own cum sometimes.

- Talk down to him in front of others

7: Rearrange his life/time to better serve/please You.  Make sure this does not interfere with his time with loved ones or work.

- If You want to change his body to Your liking, do so.  Control his workouts, diet etc.  Make sure and be realistic with this one.

- Make sure he is available during some of Your leisure time each week so he will be able to serve You during those times.

- Put him on a sleeping schedule.  Lots of fags are not able to adequately manage their sleep times.  The better rested he is, the better he will serve You.

- Go through his closet/things and throw away/put away any clothing You don’t like him to be wearing.

- Sign him up to learn new tasks or prefect tasks/skills that will help You.  (Ex: massage classes, cooking classes, pet care, etc.)

- Change their grooming habits to Your liking.

8: Help Your sub be grateful for everything he has.  Make sure You are at the top of that list.  One great way to do this is to deny him things.  Yep, it’s time to say “No.”  Subs need boundaries, and saying “No” is a great way to help them with those boundaries.

- You can take away certain foods, comforts, leisure time, sex, masturbation, etc.

- Make him show his gratitude to You often.  Faggots will show this to You in their own way. Most faggots will need some help/instruction on exactly how to show their gratitude to You.

- Make him explain why he deserves something. If he can’t explain why well enough. Then take it from him.

- You can take things/items from him that You know he does not need, but likes.  (Make sure he can afford for You to take them and that they are not of an additional value such as sentimental etc.)  Let him know from time to time that You enjoy something that You took from him.

- Offer him a reward of getting to have something back. Make what you give him back relevant to what You make him do. This could be sort or long term.  

9:  None of these actions will work without real trust.

- If Your sub is Your partner, let him know how much his sub-ass completes You and Your power.

-  If Your sub is not Your partner, make sure You two are real friends. That You appreciate how his inferiority completes you.  The more You two know about and do with each other. The more thoroughly You can control him.

-Part of trust on the subs part is trusting that You will follow through when You say You are going to do something to him or are going to make him do something.  Follow through always.

-  When a sub fully trusts You. He can submit to You his mind and privacy. Letting You go in and re-arrange/manage his life.

- Subs need constant reassurance.  Let him know that no matter what, he is Yours.  If a serious sub feels disposable. He will look for another Dom who appreciates his surrender.

- If Your life is getting too hard for a bit or You need help with something. Trust that Your sub will be able to take over for You and act in your best interest until You are back in shape.  Giving  sub this responsibility will either make him feel trusted and good, or upset that You are not actively controlling him 100% of the time.  If he gets upset and does not step up and take over for You. Then drop him like a hot potato.

-Talk to Your sub often.  Ask him how he is feeling, and let him honestly know how You are feeling on anything and everything.

- By taking things away from him, You are in a sense rewarding him when You give them back.  Also, nothing he has is his forever.  You need to re-take things and privileges away from him periodically so he knows they are a privilege and not a right.  Think of it like taking a food bowl away from a dog.  Your sub needs be docile enough that You can take his food bowl away from him as he is eating. He will not make a fuss and patiently wait until the food is returned

-Please note: Do not ever deny him from being with Friends or family.  Make him realize that the only reason You allow him to have constant contact/interaction with good friends and family is because he “helps” them by being a good friend or family member.  Make sure the he understands that the happiness that comes from being with them is “second” to the happiness that he brings them.  Basically, he needs to understand that if he pulls away from loved ones. While he is under Your control his loved ones will suffer. That is why he is allowed (and encouraged) to keep and/or strengthen the bonds he has with them.

Please note: The following is a list of things to control a sub only. Please do not implement these ideas if You do not care about and are not committed to Your sub.  This list is not all inclusive of how to treat Your sub.  This list leaves out the important kind necessities that Your sub needs such as reassurance, love, respect, being protected, allowed to be protective of You etc.  These ideas are for a long term 24/7 arrangements, not a scene.  Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things on the list that will work for You.

[thegingerpowers]

[jenniesissy]

[sinful-hun-deactivated20210302]

[i-see-u-to]

💙

[bratty-lil-misfit-deactivated20]

😍😍

[yoursubmissive46]

Love this…

[his-4-life-deactivated20230219]

He is the only Man in existence to have ever taken me there 😍😍😍

[programmablefucktoys]

Fucktoy Quick Tip: 10 ways to turn on your man and convince him to use you like a sex object.

Start edging on your knees in front of him while telling him in explicit detail* how you should be treated.

Slap yourself on the face, tits and cunt

Fuck your throat with your hand 

Spit on your hand and lick it off.

Spit on your tits and let it run down your body

Bend over in front of him and fuck your ass with your fingers

Hump his leg

Show him how wet your cunt is with your fingers, then lick them off

Write degrading and humiliating messages on yourself

Throat fuck a dildo harder and messier than he ever fucks your face.

*This is important. If you haven’t done this and have complained that your man won’t use you right, it’s like complaining that your computer isn’t working before checking if it’s plugged in and the power switch is on. 

[throather]

It def would work on me.

[conclusivechaos]

Lessons Learned from a New Submissive

You know what the world really needs?  A “How-to Guide for New Submissives.” Or a “How Not-To Guide” or something… anything… that explicitly lays out things that I wish I knew starting out as a new submissive. I’ve spent a great deal of time reading, interpreting, learning… And my journey is really just beginning. However, I wanted to share some of my observations up to this point in hopes that maybe this helps others as they are starting out as a newbie. These are my experiences, thoughts, opinions… And because there is such an amazing community here, please help!! What have I missed or gotten wrong?! I’m shamelessly tagging the experts @instructor144 @a-ds-archive @bellandherbeast @reflectedtruthsblog @nyxidervish @amysubmits @danipup @dinodaddy @goodgirlsdoresearch @submissive-seeking @magpie-69 @thegingerpowers @kitty-chronicles @delightfulsubgirl @houseofsirdragon and I know there are others and I’m shitty at tagging so please forgive me and drag them in to this conversation… In no particular order:

It’s not just all about the sex. It will often feel like it is. Don’t get me wrong, most people like sex. But the depth and breadth of the type of relationship D/s is? It’s not about sex. It’s about connection. Intimacy. Trust. Devotion. Dedication. Safety. Love. Growth. Challenge.

You will get a lot of Dominants just looking for sex. It’s inevitable.

There is such a continuum on the D/s spectrum that there is no one right “way” to do it. You’ve just got to figure out what it is that you want. I have lovely friends who just like the kinky side of D/s; they don’t need or want D/s outside of the bedroom or all the time. They like to hop into roles, have a good time, and go back to regular life. I’ve let go of judging; to each their own. As long as it’s consensual, sane, safe, and agreed upon. Just because it is not my preference does not mean I need to criticize. Nor does what other people are doing have to be the way I do it.

You will have moments of being grossed out by what people are into. You will also have moments of horror at yourself because you’re horrified at what’s turning you on. Both are normal. I won’t “yuck someone’s yum;” I don’t have to engage it in. If it makes them happy, I’m happy for them.

Know yourself. Trust yourself. Be true to yourself. Let go of thinking of how you “should” act. I think this was one of my biggest recent realizations. Submission is a lot of work AND in the right context, it’s effortless. I got myself into a situation a few weeks ago where I didn’t listen to my gut, I didn’t trust my internal alarms, and I am still reeling a bit from it. I should have set limits but I was worried I was “topping from the bottom” or “not doing submissive right” so I didn’t. Fuck that. Trust yourself. You know you better. Communicate, explain, share with your Dominant. And if they respond poorly you’ve got your answer about their level of maturity and commitment.

Ask every damn question you can possible think of and any one that crosses your mind. Do not filter your questions. Ask. Ask. Ask. Every damn one of them. I didn’t do this at times until too late and it did not help anything along. Don’t care about being perceived as rude or disrespectful (but don’t be rude in the way you ask it… that’s different). No good Dominant will ever be offended by a genuine question.

Ask if they are married. Ask if their partner knows. Ask to speak to their partner to verify. I have met a wide range of wonderful polyamorous Dominants who had no issue with me talking to their significant other(s). If they are truly on the up and up, this is a basic understanding. One of the most pleasant dinners I’ve ever had was with the Dominant I was dating and his wife.

When you first meet someone, they shouldn’t bruise you. In fact, they shouldn’t really touch you without permission. You’re not their plaything, they don’t own you. This one was from super early into my foray and learned real fast that I was not okay with it. A potential Dominant will be respectful, kind, and gentle. Be wary of anyone that gets rough immediately. It doesn’t matter that I’m a submissive or a masochist. Red flag. Run.

It’s okay to be conservative. I have never been a sexually open person. I didn’t hook-up in high school, I didn’t have sex until I was 19. My sex life up until about a year ago was vanilla. I don’t actually take any of that lightly. It’s symbolic and valuable to me; it’s a piece of me I share. It’s also new and scary. There were times where I did more than I wish I had and regretted it. I’ve committed to myself that I won’t make-out or hook-up with someone unless my heart is fully in it. I don’t care what they want; I don’t care what it makes me look like. I’m happy to be called a prude or tease. I know that when that part of me is let out, it will be a sensuous delight.. but it needs to be done with the right person in the right context or I’m just disrespecting myself.  

Don’t deal with pushy or demanding. I have an immediate reaction to someone pushing my limit – NO. And I think this is needed when first meeting someone. I’ve noticed, over time, that as the relationship deepens and I feel like I can trust the other person, that word rarely shows up. However, I think that’s because I’m starting to feel safe and they have also done things to prove to me that I can trust them. When I forcibly suppress “no” I am setting myself up for trouble.

Being submissive does not equal being easy. Just because I’m a submissive it does not mean a Dominant gets to push me around, push my limits, or disrespect me when I don’t do what they want. We just met. I’m not owned by them. I haven’t offered my submission. They are not “trying me on” to see how submissive I am. And I’ve been called out for “not being a real submissive” in these instances. No, actually. I am. I’m just not your submissive and therefore will not be acting like it.

Don’t get stuck in the “sunk costs” fallacy. Just because you’ve put in a great deal of time and effort into something does not mean it is healthy or a good fit. Get out if you need to.

Say no. Often. More than you think you’re going to need to. I let many things get further than I wanted them to because I was afraid of saying no because I felt like I “shouldn’t” if I was being properly submissive. Say no. Often. A good Dominant will stop and ask what is going on; they are not offended by it. Often, they respond with concern. This is really important at the beginning of a relationship.

This one is from @instructor144: “he should know where you went to college before he knows if you like anal.” No lie. This is true. Start the basis of a solid D/s on a bedrock of an actual relationship. Talk about favorite movies, share childhood stories, discuss favorite vacations. Talk about hopes and dreams. Be friends. Don’t start a D/s with someone you wouldn’t be friends with. You’ll never trust them; you’ll never get to the depth of what’s needed (unless that’s what you’re looking for and that’s okay too – not everyone wants the same type of relationship). I don’t want to pretend D/s; I want to live it… this means I have to connect with my Dominant. I have to like them. I have to respect them. I have to know what they stand for and who they are about. Otherwise, it’ll fail.

Never settle. I kept putting up with more than I should have at the beginning because I was so afraid that I wouldn’t find another Dominant who liked me. And yes, the search does get exhausting and draining at times. However, don’t do it. Don’t settle. Wait for the one who meets your highest expectations, not your bare minimum ones.

If something doesn’t feel right, stop it. Immediately. It doesn’t matter what it is and why. Don’t get in your head about it. If it doesn’t feel right, stop it.Talk about it. Don’t run away. But don’t continue.

Never push yourself beyond your limits because you’re afraid of disappointing your Dominant. This one was a tough learning lesson; I kept thinking about what I “should” be acting like, what I “should” be doing. I kept thinking it was mostly in my head and that if I just did it I would get over it. Nope. Nopers. Nope times a million. If you’re not there, you’re not there. The guilt can be challenging but it’s not justified; a good Dominant would rather stop than cause harm that they didn’t even know about. And if they get angry because you wouldn’t do something? Find a different Dominant.

Make sure you are on the same page. This can be anywhere from whether you are looking for in-the-bedroom to whether you’re into impact play. It doesn’t matter. You won’t find a “perfect” fit but you’ll want to be similar enough.

Talk often. Check-in. Recently I made a ton of assumptions about a Dominant’s level of knowledge; it did not go well. I’ve learned to not assume anything, ask lots of questions, and share my concerns.

Know your preferences. They are okay to have. I, for example, learned that I’m incredibly incompatible with switches. I don’t have a Domme bone in my body and that might lead to someone feeling unfulfilled down the line. I want a 24/7 dynamic. There are pieces that I care more about and less about; I have things that I can tolerate and other things that I wouldn’t be able to. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you like or don’t like and verbalizing it. These preferences can also change, they probably will.

You are not “owned” after a few weeks. They can say it to you, they can claim you. It does not mean you are claimed. You are claimed when you say so, when you feel it in your heart. It’s a feeling, it’s not a label. And be wary of anyone wanting to own you, collar you, or claim you too quickly. Most people would side-eye you if you went on a first date and then got married 3 weeks later. It’s the same thing here. It should take a long time. And saying it doesn’t make it true.  

Start at the submissive side of things even if you identify as slave. A brilliant Dominant once shared with me that he starts with a submissive and won’t even consider a slave until at least a year into the relationship. M/s takes a whole other level of dedication and devotion. Do it right.

Sex is the last thing you should be doing. Just plainly stated. It’s lovely, it’s fun, it’s wonderful. And slow it down. Ultimately, I’ve found that a good Dominant knows this. They will always put your safety first before their own desires. Further, a good Dominant knows that sex isn’t always the answer. You should be able to spend time together without sex and it still feel meaningful.

Get educated. I’ve said this before… an uneducated submissive is a dangerous submissive. She’s dangerous to herself and dangerous to others. Do your damn research. Don’t just hope and expect him to know. It doesn’t matter how long he’s been doing it. It doesn’t matter how many submissives he’s had in the past. Just do your damn research. Be informed. Know if you need to get yourself out of a bad situation.

Try it with someone you trust. This is a weird one given all of my other warnings… but I met someone who was knowledgeable, experienced and lovely. We talked for a while, we hung out a few times, and I was able to observe him over time and in different situations. I can safely safe I trust him and we’re still good friends. I was curious about my masochistic side, mainly to find out if I actually was a masochist, and he was an experienced sadist. In terms of first foray into impact play, I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. He was so gentle and kind leading into it, he explained everything to me as we went through, and checked in often. He also absolutely knew what he was doing which made the experience amazing. No regrets whatsoever… minus the fact that the bar has been raised so high. And I think that’s a wonderful high bar to have.

Saying no, having limits, using your safe word is not topping from the bottom. God, this one took me forever to wrap my brain around. I’m a submissive. My own limits, even outside of D/s, took me forever to develop and enforce. Establishing limits within the context of a Dominant is a whole other circus. However, do it. For your own safety, sanity, and protection… especially at the beginning.

Take it slow.

Don’t compare. Many of the lovely blogs on here are from couples who have been together for a while. Their relationships are not at the stage where a new one is. Saying no to a Dominant is absolutely okay at the beginning; we barely know each other. It may be a different story and circumstance 6 months into a dynamic… or a year… or 5 years. Relationships evolve and grow over time. At the beginning, do what feels right in your gut. Ignore, to some degree, the rules about what you “should” be doing. And don’t compare. What feels “right” for one person may not feel “right” for you.

Don’t “play” D/s if that’s not what you’re looking for. Develop a real relationship. It’s not a hat you put on and take off. Don’t get lost in the fantasy of crazy sex and someone to command me around. It’s a lot of hard work. It hurts, often.

Get past the first few weeks. I’ve found there there tends to be an exciting infatuation period at the beginning where there’s a huge amount of learning going on about the other person, the fantasies are running wild, you’re seeing the “best” parts. Get through that and then really decide if you want to stay. Everything new is always shiny and fun to play with but hold on long enough to see if what’s under the sparkling exterior is someone you want to be with.

This is a weird one, but one that I’ve found particularly true for me… Be cautious with new emerging Dominants. I broke this rule for myself and absolutely regret it. I value experience, knowledge, and guidance. If you are pursuing a new Dominant, make sure he has a solid mentor guiding him throughout the process. I think even with the best intentions, he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know… and it can mess you up pretty badly.

Have a mentor, a guide, a protector, something. Have a community. Have one person, who you talk to regularly who is knowledgeable. I was blessed and met the most amazing Dominant (who I am so damn grateful for every single day) who led me, taught me, and protected me. I obviously made my own bad decisions and deviated away from his advice (which is why I still have so much to share…) but I’m pretty sure I’ve avoided 80% of the horrible and dangerous situations because of him.

Stop trying. This sounds strange, right? I’ve stopped pursuing and I’m happier. If someone comes along that peaks my interest I will engage, but I’m not desperate.

You’re not desperate. You don’t “need” a Dominant to be happy. Grow. Flourish. Live. Love. The right one will come along. Be patient. Work on yourself.

[thegingerpowers]

@conclusivechaos Sounds like you’ve nailed this one! Your list looks pretty inclusive of every thought, idea, and suggestion I’ve ever had about my submissiveness or my life in general.  Two I always highlight are COMMUNICATE and THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS COOKIE CUTTER SUBS.

 Kudos to you for bringing it all together! ~ Ginger

[bluelady329]

[cherishedproperty]

Submissive Does Not Mean Passive

“I want someone who initiates sex every once in a while.”

“I don’t want some doormat with no opinions.”

“I want to be with someone passionate, not submissive.”

I see phrases like this all the time when people reject having a submissive partner. And I’ll admit—once upon a time, I rejected my own submissiveness based on the same misunderstandings. So let me try to clear it up.

When I say I’m submissive, it doesn’t mean I’m a robot awaiting instructions. It doesn’t mean that I’m dormant until a Dominant’s needs and desires activate me. It doesn’t mean that I expect my Dominant to take all the actions while I merely respond. 

I am submissive, but I am not passive. I am strong-willed, passionate, and energetic in pursuit of what fulfills me. 

I initiate sex with my Dominant. It’s different from how a Dominant initiates, but it’s not all that hard to read. I will straddle their lap and nibble their neck and talk about what a needy little girl I am. I will say that I’ve been thinking all day of the way they taste. I will lay their favorite implement on the bed with a sticky note that just says, “Please?” I will strip and kneel, and then I’ll beg for what I crave. 

I have strong sexual desires and needs, and I share them openly. But I don’t dictate what happens or when. And however my Dominant chooses for me to serve, I will pour all my energy into it. I will curl up between their legs for hours, lost in the joy of exploring them. I will moan and whimper and push back against them as they use me. I will ride them as long as my poor cardio fitness holds out. Being submissive does not make me quiet or passive. I am deeply passionate and completely unafraid to show the one who owns me.

And it’s not just in the bedroom. I have strong opinions about what I think is right and how things should be done, and I will 100% make those opinions known. But with the right partner—someone I can trust to put my needs first—I will defer to them on the final decision. With the right partner, I accept that they may make a decision I disagree with, but they won’t make a decision that harms me. And sometimes I do disagree. Vigorously. Sometimes a decision will make me angry enough to want to shoot lasers from my eyeballs. But if I submit to this person, then I trust them to do what’s right for both of us, and for the relationship. So I make my feelings known, and then I actively choose to follow. 

I am submissive, but I am no doormat. I know exactly who I am and what I want, and I am unafraid to share it. My submissiveness is full of boldness and fire and passion. Never, ever mistake me for passive. 

[thegingerpowers]

‘Alpha Subs’… we can ROCK your world! 

[cat-eyesaz]

[its-my-sub-journey]

6 Things I Wish I Would Have Known When I Was a Baby Sub

I’m going to preface this post with the disclaimer that I have not been active in the D/s lifestyle for very long. I’ve only been actively involved for about 3 years. However, throughout those 3 years, I have learned SO much. I feel like it’s only right that I should impart a little bit of knowledge that I wish I would have know when I was just starting out. 

As I’ve said in previous posts, I write strictly from my own point of view and experience. I’m always open for respectful discussion and debate about anything about which I venture an opinion.

So without further ado….

1. Abusive behavior can masquerade as Dominance.

I have heard many, many stories of submissive women who have ended up in abusive relationships. Many so-called “Doms” use D/s, or rather the appearance of it, to manipulate and abuse their partners. It took me YEARS to leave my abusive partner. I was young and naive and I mistook domineering for dominant. Controlling for being in control. It is very easy to make these mistakes. If you find yourself making excuses for your partner or rationalizing behavior that has made you feel anything less the respected and valued, it’s time to rethink your situation.

Always remember - SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL. If any one of these conditions is not being met, RUN, don’t walk away. 

2. It’s not all about sex.

I will be very honest and say when I first started, I had been so sheltered, I though D/s was a bedroom only kind of thing. I didn’t know anything about it beyond the kinky sex. 

D/s is about a power exchange. One partner willingly submitting to another who agrees to take on the responsibilities of guidance and protection. The sex is just and outward manifestation of a relationship built on trust and respect. 

In theory, you can have D/s relationship that is entirely asexual. I personally couldn’t do that, but I believe there are couples out there who engage in relationships of that sort.

3. Building trust takes time. 

I can just see a bunch of you rolling your eyes and saying, “Well, duh! That’s a no-brainer.” So let me qualify a bit. When I, and many others, first started, I wanted to do as much as I could as quickly as I could. I believe the phenomenon is known as “sub frenzy.” 

You get a little taste of what you’ve been searching for, sometimes without even knowing you were searching for it, and you want more and more and more and you don’t want to wait for it. You’re so eager to experience the fulfillment you’ve desired that you lose sight of what is safe and sane. You can put yourself in situations that are downright dangerous. 

As difficult as it is. Wait. Take the time to build trust with your Dom. Trust Him to know when and how far to push you. 

4. You can not have a D/s relationship that is devoid of emotion.

I think there are some who may disagree with me on this, however in my opinion and my experience, I believe it to be the absolute truth. 

In a power exchange, as a submissive in a power exchange relationship, you are opening yourself, not just physically, but also mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually. You’re going to push limits. You’re going to explore boundaries. You can’t do that without having a tremendous amount of trust and building a deep and lasting bond. 

5. D/s doesn’t always have to be serious.

While there is always a serious aspect to a D/s relationship, it doesn’t have to be all the time. It’s ok to want to laugh with your Dom. It’s ok to have a sense of humor when things don’t go quite right. 

For me, I have found that laughter is one of the best forms of aftercare. Laughter can be just as cathartic as crying. 

Being able to have fun within you power exchange, in whatever way works for you, is a wonderful expression of the trust and respect you have for one another.

6. COMMUNICATION IS KEY

I saved the best, and most important, for last. This is another one of those no-brainer items, but I cannot overemphasize this. 

You should ALWAYS have the ability to talk openly about your feelings, your anxieties, your hope, your desires, and anything else you feel is important. If you don’t feel safe asking questions, or expressing concerns. Or if those questions and concerns are dismissed and ignored. GET OUT!

[honedperfection]

Rescue plan - details and FAQ

Overview

Timing and next steps

About the new site

What is allowed on the new site

Transfers

Social features

Future plans

Transfer process details

General

Overview

What is the rescue plan?

To register Tumblr users on a new blogging site

To transfer existing content from Tumblr to the new site

To retain, sustain and build communities

To give an overall similar experience to Tumblr (the old Tumblr before 2018!)

To avoid the pitfalls of the current Tumblr

What must each user do?

Wait for the official announcement of the new site

Register on the new site (will need an email and password)

If the user wants, click a button to transfer blog content from Tumblr to the new site

Between now and December 17th, do not change your blogname or delete your blog from Tumblr

Timing and next steps

When and where will the new site be announced?

Next few days. I will announce it on https://twitter.com/rescueplan and on https://honedperfection.tumblr.com.

Why not announce the site now?

The site needs to be prepped for large numbers of Tumblr users to join, and for all their content to be transferred. It needs to be done in a way which does not disrupt the site’s existing community of users. New user registration on the site needs to be temporarily switched off so that only an authorised transfer from Tumblr is possible: this way, popular Tumblr user’s names cannot be taken (name squatting).

“I need the site name now so I can check it out”

Sorry, the site name will not be given to anyone in advance, no exceptions. It will be announced to everyone at the same time.

“I am anxious about missing the announcement”

Follow https://honedperfection.tumblr.com and https://twitter.com/rescueplan and you will not miss it. Also, it will be widely reblogged when it happens. You will have several days to join the new site and transfer your blog safely before December 17th, so do not worry.

Is there an advantage to transferring early?

Depending on user numbers transferring across, there may be an advantage in being one of the first to transfer - for example if very large numbers (millions) of people want to transfer all at the same time, the transfer process will slow down. Some people may prefer to wait until they see if other blogs they follow have transferred. Either way, do not leave it until the very last minute, for example do not wait until after midnight on Sunday December 16th. We do not know what time exactly Tumblr’s intended December 17th cut-off will apply.

Do I need to take action before December 17th?

If your blog contains NSFW content which you want to transfer to the new site - either for permanent community viewing or because it is too difficult for you to download it all - then you should transfer your blog to the new site before Monday, December 17th. (It is possible that in some cases transfers will still work OK even after December 17th, but we cannot be sure until after that date is already past, so better safe than sorry.)

If your blog has no posts - or if your blog on Tumblr has no NSFW content - then you can register on the new site after December 17th without urgency. I mean, if you want to use the new site and view blogs on there, but you do not want to transfer your own Tumblr blog content across, then in this case, you can register as a user on the new site even after December 17th, so there is no rush.

Do I need to be a registered user on the new site to preview content there?

You can browse the whole site freely in this first week, even if not a registered user. But later in December it will be changed so that, after that time, only registered users will be able to browse the NSFW content.

What date and time will the new site be announced, exactly?

When it’s ready. The original hoped date was December 9th or 10th but that has had to change for technical reasons. The announcement is now expected to be on December 11th or 12th, not later than that.

Why is it taking so long?

I think it is taking an amazingly short time for a project of this scale. A team of very smart developers is working on it as quickly as humanly possible. Moving one user over to a new blog is easy, moving hundreds of thousands or millions is a large scale project.

How will I know if blogs I follow have transferred?

Every blog transferring will tell you that on their own Tumblr blog, and will provide a link to the new blog. (If a Tumblr blog is deleted or deactivated, then you will not see this but you can maybe try searching for the same blogname on the new site - or ask other community members where it has gone.)

SUGGESTION: It would be wise for you, today, to make a note of the exact names of all the Tumblrs you follow - maybe take a screenshot - to increase your chance of finding these blogs later if they get deleted or deactivated on Tumblr.

About the new site

Describe the new site

It’s a blogging site similar to Tumblr. If you like Tumblr you will like it. It has - in my opinion - better visual design than Tumblr.

What types of communities are on the new site?

All types of communities are there, including general subjects such as photography, fashion, art, food as well as nudity and other NSFW. When our Tumblr communities move to the new site, you should be able to find the same commmunity there so Tumblr users should feel right at home :)

Will the new site support minorities?

Definitely yes, the new site strongly believes in creating a positive and open environment for all.

How will minorities be protected from hate speech on the new site?

Hate speech is unacceptable on the new site and will be subject to disciplinary action. Blogs themed on racism or anti-Semitism will not be tolerated on the new site.

What is allowed on the new site

Is the new site for BDSM, d/s or other groups?

The new site is a general blogging site for everybody, similar to Tumblr. All groups, including the groups listed in this question, are very welcome. Importantly, the site is not only for these groups. One of the best aspects of Tumblr is that as a general blogging site, members can explore and learn about all their different interests in one place, including ‘dipping their toe’ into new areas. Human beings are not one-dimensional.

How about LGBT?

Blogs with LGBT content are welcome and warmly encouraged.

Will all forms of NSFW content be allowed on the new site?

Every type of NSFW content is allowed, except for illegal content such as child pornography and zoophilia (bestiality). Posting child pornography or zoophilia - or transferring existing posts of those things from Tumblr - will result in account bans and legal action.

Specifically, is my blog going to be acceptable on the new site?

Partial or full nudity and depictions of all types of human sexual acts are allowed, so long as all participators are over 18 years old. If it was allowed on Tumblr prior to December 2018, it will be allowed on the new site. (Except hate speech: racism and hate speech are not allowed on the new site.)

Is anything not acceptable?

As already said, child pornography and zoophilia are never acceptable and will result in takedowns and account bans. In addition, depictions of serious crime (examples: death, mutilation, rape) or incitation to crime may result in action depending on the context. For example journalist reporting of actual news or events is acceptable, art is acceptable. Imagery of hardcore BDSM between consenting adults is acceptable. Imagery of simulation or role-play by consenting adults (example: forced sex fantasies) is acceptable.

How will you know the difference between all these things?

Anything borderline will be reviewed by humans. Humans are good at knowing the difference between what is acceptable and what is not.

How will you ensure there is no child pornogaphy on the site?

We will use a combination of several methods known to be effective. Details will not be discussed: discussion will only help the perpetrators.

Are Lolita and dd/lg relationships and erotica with these themes permitted on the site?

Yes, so long as in all images the persons shown are in fact over 18 years old. Dressing up or role-playing a relationship where one partner is more experienced is allowed. As above, any borderline case will be reviewed by humans. Humans are good at knowing the difference between acceptable and legal art, on the one hand, and illegal child pornography, on the other hand.

I have 1000 posts on my Tumblr and I think one of them might show a 16-17 year old

If you know that your post shows an under-age person in a nude, suggestive or sexual context, please avoid trouble for yourself later and delete this post now. The rule is simple: over 18 is acceptable, under 18 is not.

What about porn bots?

Commercial and other spam is not permitted on the new site. Porn bots - of all kinds - are basically a form of spam. They are quite easily detected and blocked when found.

Any other rules for NSFW content?

The new site has one simple rule: all NSFW material must be flagged as NSFW by the poster. Similar to Tumblr’s “sensitive” setting, either the whole blog or one individual post can be set to NSFW by the user.

What does NSFW mean?

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=NSFW

Transfers

How will the transfer to the new site work?

The new site will have a registration page and a button to transfer your blog.. You can also choose to register your name without transferring your blog content. Click the transfer button, and your blog content will be automatically transferred. Note the content transfer is a slow process, it takes a few minutes, or longer for large blogs.

What if I have multiple blogs on Tumblr (secondary blogs)?

Your secondary blogs can also be transferred, you can choose which blogs are transferred and which not. You will be given a separate username and login on the new site for each blog transferred. You will need a different email address for each account, so if you have several Tumblr blogs you might want to go create some new email addresses for yourself now.

(Pro tip: if you have a gmail account then you can add extra dots in the address to make new email addresses for yourself which all go to the exact same valid gmail account. For example, an email to [email protected] will go to [email protected]. Try it for yourself!)

Can I continue to use Tumblr after transferring to the new site?

Yes of course - though presumably, you will not be posting new NSFW content on your Tumblr?

Your Tumblr blog will remain (unless you deactivate it) and you can still post on Tumblr. Your new posts on Tumblr will not be transferred to the new site: the new site is a snapshot of your existing Tumblr blog on the day you click the transfer button.

What post types are transferred?

Photo posts, GIFs, Photosets, Text or HTML posts and Quote posts will be transferred. Bare links (with no text) will not be transferred. Videos and audio recordings will not be transferred, sorry - you will need to download those from Tumblr yourself and find a home for them elsewhere.

What about asks, submissions, chat and user comments on my posts?

These cannot be transferred to the new site, sorry. If these posts do not contain images, they can probably stay on Tumblr even after December 17th?

I am a photographer, will the source be credited?

“Source:” labels on Tumblr posts will not be transferred to the new site. This is for technical reasons and because in our experience they are not used in a consistent way - for example, some users state their own Tumblr blog as the source, for self-promoting reasons. Also, it can be said that Tumblr is the source for all transferred content on the new site.

If you are a photographer and you want a credit or link to your own professional website (or your Instagram/500px/Flickr) please include this credit in the photo caption.

What about all my reblogs?

Posts which you have reblogged so that they are visible on your own blog will be transferred and visible on the new site, this is part of the transfer of your blog to the new site. If the original poster also transfers their Tumblr blog to the new site then your reblogs will be shown as reblogs on the new site. If the original poster does NOT transfer their blog to the new site then your reblog, over there, will seem like an original post.

What about my Tumblr Queue?

Posts in your Queue, and Drafts, will not be transferred to the new site: only actual published posts will be transferred. If you want to transfer posts in your Queue, go through your Queue on Tumblr’s dashboard and select Publish Now. Do this before transferring to the new site. Or, you could just wait a day or two for all your Queued posts to be published.

I have 20000 posts on my Tumblr, how do I set them all to NSFW?

Easiest for you is to set up your whole blog as NSFW when you transfer it. Or if your blog has mixed content, some SFW and some NSFW, you can set individual posts as NSFW. A lenient approach will be taken during the first month, as we know it takes time to get this right for a large amount of content.

Can the new site automatically copy my Tumblr “sensitive content” setting for each post?

No, sorry, that is not possible.

Social features

What about all my Likes?

Other people’s posts you have liked on Tumblr (but not reblogged) will not be transferred to the new site. These cannot be transferred, because they are not your own posts - they are another blog’s posts. If you want to transfer likes, you will need to reblog them now to your own Tumblr blog before transferring your blog to the new site. Note that Tumblr has a daily post limit of 250 posts or reblogs, so this will limit your ability to reblog likes, so maybe choose only the best ones?

Another option is for you to suggest to all the blogs you follow that they transfer to the new site :)

What if I liked a post on xyz Tumblr blog, and the blog xyz transfers to the new site also?

Even in this situation your ‘Like’ will not be copied across to the new site, because you did not yet Like the post on the new site. You will need to go find blog xyz on the new site, and like the post they have over there. I know it would be amazing if all your Likes can just be copied across to the new site so that it becomes exactly the same as Tumblr, but that is not possible in the short time available to December 17th.

I have a popular blog with many likes, reblogs and followers, how will those be transferred?

Same answer as above. It would be nice if all these connections can be transferred, but it cannot be done in the time available - users must start again with fresh likes and followers on the new site. If you have a popular blog on Tumblr and you give your followers your blog name on the new site (probably the same name as here on Tumblr, but that’s up to you) then your followers will find you over there easily enough.

It upsets me that all my past interactions with other people here on Tumblr will be lost

The whole community is upset, angry and dismayed about this. To take a positive approach: the people and the content you like will hopefully be transferring to the new site, and if the people are there, the community will remain and rebuild new links in future: that’s the most important thing.

Future plans

Will the new site offer reblogging and commenting?

The new site - which has millions of existing users with blogs already - currently has a Like function but not a Reblog function. A Reblog function will be added as soon as possible so that Tumblr users should feel right at home. This is likely to be after December 17th. Before December 17th, the priority is simply transferring blogs safely.

Will the new site offer Asks, Submissions, and Fanmail (messaging)?

Not at first. In the months ahead, new community features will be added, these features may not be exactly the same as Tumblr (they may be better!)

Will the new site offer themes?

The new site offers layout options for your posts, but not full page themes like Tumblr. Themes are a feature that will probably be added some time in future.

Any other plans for the new site?

The new site is good already, and over time will be looking to add all the features needed to create a “best in class” blogging community.

Transfer process details

How will I know when my blog is successfully transferred to the new site?

When the transfer process is complete, the transfer tool will automatically create a new post on your Tumblr blog, giving your followers the name of your new blog at the new site. This post will be in English. If you want this information shown in a different language, you can edit the post yourself in your Tumblr dashboard (maybe keep the English text also, for your international followers, so that there are two languages.) When this post appears in your Tumblr blog it is also a confirmation that your posts are safely stored on the new site and will become visible on the new site over the days ahead.

IMPORTANT: this notification of successful transfer will be added as a post in your posts Queue on Tumblr, not your published posts. This is to allow you to edit the notification as you want, before your followers see it. If your Queue on Tumblr is already filled then this post will be near the end of the Queue, so you might want to move it to the top of the Queue!

I clicked the transfer button and I have not yet received a notification of a completed transfer

Go check your posts Queue on Tumblr. If you are not seeing the notification within a few minutes after clicking the transfer button, try refreshing the posts Queue: the notification will be at the end. If you have a very large blog please be aware it may need more than a few minutes to complete the transfer, so if you don’t see it immediately don’t worry, just check again after an hour or so.

Will I be able to see my posts on the new site immediately?

After you are notified of a completed transfer, the posts will still take time to become actually visible on your blog on the other site. Similar to Queued posts on Tumblr, posts take time to be published - but faster than Tumblr, it should normally be several thousand posts appearing per day. In very busy periods (large numbers of users transferring) your posts may appear at a slower rate, but if you have been notified of a complete transfer, you can be sure that your posts will appear eventually.

What if there are too many users transferring all at the same time?

Your blog posts transferred from Tumblr will be safely stored, even if the new site is extremely busy - we are expecting it to be busy! At peak times, posts will appear on your new blog at a slower rate, but all your transferred posts will eventually appear.

My blog here has over 250,000 different posts, will those all be transferred?

Blogs with large follower numbers on Tumblr will have all their posts transferred. Blogs with low numbers of followers on Tumblr, but very high numbers of posts, may be capped at a certain number of posts (the newest posts will be transferred). This is for fairness to other users: it would not be fair to spend all the transfer resources on one person’s huge blog. Again, if there was more time until December 17th, more could be done, but as things are the time available has to be allotted in the fairest way.

How can I be sure this will all happen as described?

Until the new site is announced and your blog is actually transferred then people may feel uncertainty. But please be assured, a team of smart and committed people, who care passionately about the survival of the Tumblr communities, is doing their damnedest to make it happen.

General

Are transfers of all my posts guaranteed?

Transfers of your blog to any other site are on a ‘best efforts’ basis. There may be changes, for example formatting differences. For technical reasons, some Tumblr posts may be impossible to transfer. Video and audio posts, and ‘ask’ and 'submission’ posts and other conversations on Tumblr, will not be transferred.

Will the new site be free?

Yes.

What languages does the new site have?

Registration page and settings are in English. Your own blog can be in any language.

Will there be an app for my phone?

The new site will be adding iPhone and Android apps some time after December 17th. For now, the new site is easy to browse in a browser on your phone such as Safari, Chrome or Firefox.

Is there a risk that Apple will take down the new site’s iPhone app in future?

As happened to Tumblr? We hope not. Site rules are designed to ensure the app will remain acceptable to Apple - in the same way that Twitter is acceptable to Apple even though a few Twitter users post porn. Worst case, iPhone and iPad users can always browse the site in a web browser.

Can I help the project?

An experienced team is already working on it, but more help is always appreciated and will allow us to do more in the time. If you are an expert web or full stack developer able to volunteer significant time in the next days, please get in touch with details of your skills and experience.

Why have I not heard of the new site before now?

The internet is a big place! The new site does not do heavy marketing.

Will this FAQ change?

This FAQ is subject to revision to keep it up to date - I may edit this post, so check back at the original honedperfection.tumblr.com to see the latest version. All intended and announced plans are on a 'best efforts’ basis.

Is this FAQ available in other languages?

No, but if you want to translate it to your language on your blog, you are welcome to do that. Please retain links to the original on honedperfection and the rescueplan Twitter so that people can follow updates there.

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