Thoughts Before Bed

[pillowwriter-blog]

November 5th, 2017

I'm guessing I'll be getting tired soon so I figured I should get these Thoughts Before Bed out of the way.

1. Every year I think the end of Daylight Saving should come with a New Year’s Eve type celebration.

2. Do you ever feel like one of your social media followers is tracking your every move. I don’t mean full on stalking but sort of keep track of everything you post? #moles

3. Yes, I posted the marriage challenge with a photo of me and Dwayne Johnson. No, I am not ACTUALLY delusional. #ItWasAJoke#StopGossipingAboutHowCrazyYouThinkIAm

4. The night before last I had a dream about a very eclectic mix of my Facebook friends including the parents of one of my God children, a guy I went to grade school with, a former coworker and a former friend. Some of my friends were living with a guy who made art from driftwood and he had a party. When I left my tiny red car (which I don’t drive #IRL) was being used for a photo shoot that involved 26 dogs, mostly Yorkies and Corgis. #MyDreamsAreCrazy

5. I regularly crush on gay men. I suppose that’s because it’s safe. I don’t have to ever worry that he will want to pursue a romantic relationship with me.

6. When things go wrong, don’t go with them.

7. I made homemade applesauce in the crockpot this weekend. It was easy AND delicious.

8. I met a gal in Memphis in September who I keep up with now via social media. Last night she was snapchatting from a wedding. Turns out the groom was the brother of a friend of mine who died in 2007. The world is so incredibly small.

9. I am participating in Nanowrimo this year which is a writing exercise that lasts during the month of November. Currently, it looks like I will actually have my 50,000 words completed by May 9th.

10. I am also participating in No Shave November but I got a jumpstart on that one in like... September. ;) #TMI

11. Do you remember Miles Dalrymple? He was a character in the movie Summer Catch and was played by an actor names Marc Blucas which has got to be one of THE WORST names for an actor ever. But tonight he was in a Hallmark movie and I just think he is SOOO cute. But I first crushed on him when his character in Summer Catch proclaimed his love for fat girls. I have attached the video for your Sunday evening enjoyment. #WeLoveYouTooMiles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AgL7G6EZ_E&feature=youtu.be

I hope you have all enjoyed your extra hour this weekend. It is more important now, than ever, that we love one another my friends. Be sure to spread some kindness this week. Maybe even #hugastranger. Love you all. Sleep well.

[pillowwriter-blog]

October 29th, 2017

Happy Sunday Evening, friends. Welcome to this week's edition of THOUGHTS BEFORE BED.

1. "Where you are is not who you are." Just a little encouragement in case someone needs it.

2. My "To DONE" list from this weekend is pretty impressive. It's so much more fun to make a list of what you have accomplished than it is to make a list of what you have yet to begin.

3. 46 degrees felt absolutely perfect for a walk today.

4. My dog and I love the chilly weather. In fact, much to the dismay of others, we look forward to snow too.

5. I have never been a fan of Halloween. I don't dress up. There's something so evil about it all. That said, I have about 500 pieces of candy ready for the children.

6. A friend of mine asked this question today and I LOVE it: Who are you? (Answer without Name, Job, Things you do, Friends) It's great food for thought. You can answer in the comments if you want.

7. Brought home some new wine today. I only drink about one night a week. Maybe a beer or a glass of wine. But I really enjoy good wine.

8. Fritos: the strongest smelling chip ever made.

9. If you were on Tinder... and I am not assuming that any of you would EVER be on Tinder... but if you WERE, what would your headline say?

10. If you are constantly in a hurry, like the guy at Aldi yesterday, it's ok to scratch a couple of things off your to do list. Like maybe you just don't fold the laundry or maybe today the dog just goes for a walk ONE time. Figure it out. Stop racing around. You are make yourself crazy and aggravating the rest of us in the process.

11. If you are searching for inspiration throughout the week (and I am unavailable for some reason), check out this list that Forbes put out in 2013. There are some good quotes here: https://www.forbes.com/…/…/2013/05/28/inspirational-quotes/…

Alright my loves, sleep well, enjoy your week and know that I am mad about or mad at each and every one of you for one reason or another. ;)LOVE YOU ALL. #Hugastranger

[pillowwriter-blog]

October 15th, 2017

I have a lot more meal prep to do tonight so here are tonight's THOUGHTS BEFORE BED, a little earlier than usual. #YoureWelcome

1. Today, a woman driving a bright yellow car nearly hit me as she sped about 50 MPH through the crosswalk by the doors at Walmart. She nearly dropped her phone & her cigarette when she screeched to a halt a foot away from me.

2. #Irked (That's how I feel when someone takes my humor and turns it into an opportunity to teach me a lesson.) 🙄😐

3. Some folks work overtime trying to be profound.

4. That said... "We should be the answer to our ancestors' prayers." (Sean Sherman, Sioux)

5. The other day, a couple of the kids in my 8th hour were having a hard time. One was sort of unusually defiant & the other was so sad. I took them both to the hallway to talk & finished with hugs. Then my co-teacher joined in a group hug with us. Returning to the room, I asked if anyone else needed a hug before we moved onto something new. One by one, hands went up. I walked the room and hugged my kids until nearly half the class was hugged. Then, we moved on. Some days, it is NOT about English. #hugastranger #hugyourkids #hugyourcoworkers #HUGSOMEBODY

6. I wish I could sleep past 6AM on the weekends. If that's not possible, I would at least like the motivation to actually GET OUT OF BED when I wake up.

7. Rachel Leigh Cook might be one of my least favorite actresses. #Hallmark

8. Quiet joggers... the kind that sneak up behind you and scare the crap out of your dog... are pure evil.

9. I don't know if you heard but TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD has been banned in Mississippi. Banning a book is just motivation for me to teach it. :)

10. My dog is pouting because she didn't get people food for dinner. She is SO FREAKING picky. She refuses to eat her dog food. We are having a battle of wills.

[pillowwriter-blog]

October 8th, 2017

I hate to be the one to break the news to you all but... It IS Sunday evening. Our weekend is coming to a close but the silver lining is right here, friends. It is time for THOUGHTS BEFORE BED.

1. It may be cliche but there are very few things that can make my heart smile like a video of baby goats doing baby goat things.

2. It's been a week of decline for mom and I think she is sad. She struggled to sign a birthday card today and didn't remember one of her favorite shows. Time is difficult for her to measure. But in the midst of the chaos, there are many little gifts. You just have to look really closely to see them.

3. Today, somebody put regular dish soap in the dishwasher. The up side of that mini disaster was that the kitchen floor got really clean!

4. I have read so much bad writing this weekend. I guess I should be hopeful because I know for sure I have something to teach my kids.

5. Debating my next steps in education... Curriculum or administration?

6. I just don't feel like a speedo is appropriate attire for a profile picture. #putthataway

7. I decorated a little bit for Halloween/Fall today. Found a bunch of stuff in the attic that mom didn't know she had. Then I spent an inordinate amount of time on Pinterest looking for more stuff to make.

8. Somebody in the neighborhood has a dog that poops poop balls. Yes, balls of poop. And that somebody doesn't pick them up so they sit in the center of the sidewalk just waiting for the next shoe to walk over them. #ick #pickupyourpoop

9. Sheets on your bed should be a must. I don't understand why so many folks don't have sheets. #WalMart

10. I actually googled "do I have to put sheets on my mattress?" just in case I was missing something. You might want to have a mattress pad too. Just #FYI

11. Hey, I hate to get petty but... What do you call a person who gets so angry at someone for doing something that they delete and block that person from FB when the truth is that person had been planning to do THE SAME EXACT THING for months? #hypocrite

12. Anybody have a get rich quick scheme? I need like... I don't know... roughly... about... you know... $26,600. 😬

Ok, dear ones, it is time to get our minds right for the week. Love somebody in an unexpected way this week. It will be so good for you (and for them). Maybe #hugastranger while you are at it. Sleep well, folks. Love you all.

[pillowwriter-blog]

October 1st, 2017

Good Sunday evening! I am finally sitting down after a very busy day. Now, it is time for THOUGHTS BEFORE BED.

1. I love a man who smiles with his eyes.

2. My ubering days have begun again. I am going to try to work around big events but I might flip on that app some weeknights too.

3. Friday, one of my students said I was "way better" than his English teacher last year which is cool but his classmate said I relate to them better than some of their other teachers. I will take that compliment all day long.

4. Maple crusted salmon is on the menu for lunch every day this week. I have never eaten fish every day. I am interested to see how this goes.

5. I have a cousin who has been accepted for a semester working at Disney in Orlando. She needs to raise some cash for tuition too. If you are on the IL side, specifically near Blackburn college & you need some help around the house or a babysitter or something let me know. ALSO, my friends in Orlando, I might be tapping you to check on her. :)

6. This week, I go in for my one year check up with the heart doc. The timing is perfect because I have some other stuff going on... #fingerscrossed

7. It is amazing how different my life is than 10 years ago. I never imagined I would be ok being by myself so much. But I understand the purpose of this season. Now... where did I place that motivation...

8. "Have no fear of robbers or murderers. They are external dangers, petty dangers. We should fear ourselves. Prejudices are the real robbers; vices the real murders. The great dangers are within us. Why worry about what threatens our heads or purses? Let us think instead of what threatens our souls." ~Victor Hugo

9. Isn't it about time for another Magic Mike movie to come out? I just feel like something is missing from the world right now.

10. I think for the next week, I will only comment on the statuses of others with GIFs. OMG this is going to be fun.

11. I will tell you what is not missing. This sexy, bald man with that salt & pepper beard. #ThankYouJesus Dwayne The Rock Johnson is the perfect man.

Alright my loves. Have a good week. Spread some love and love with inevitably spread. #hugastranger while you're at it. Love to all of you.

[pillowwriter-blog]

September 24th, 2017

I hope you all had a glorious weekend. I, for one, can say I am exhausted. But before I crawl under the covers, here are my Thoughts Before Bed.

1. My THOUGHTS BEFORE BED following has drastically decreased since a falling out with a friend. That's fine. I understand that folks feel like they have to take a side.

2. That falling out was a life-changing experience for me. Never again will I pour myself out for someone the way I did her. I know y'all think that's hooey but it's true. #allaboutme

3. Last night, I unknowingly attended homecoming with a little friend. About an hour into the event, a student noticed something on my butt. It was a caterpillar. I still shiver thinking about it.

4. I have one boss who I am fairly sure doesn't like me, doesn't want to talk to me, doesn't think I'm funny. It's awkward because my bosses usually love me. ;)

5. None of us have the right or responsibility to dictate the behavior of others.

6. We should be honest about our intolerances. It might cause us to lose friends or cause a riff among family members but you, you should own it.

7. Advice is NOT advice until someone takes it. Until then, it's just an opinion. And you know what "they" say about opinions.

8. My two favorite TV shows, along with an OLD favorite, return to the air this week. #yay

9. As you can imagine, I have many thoughts regarding the #TakeAKneemovement and it should come as no surprise to anyone that I support it wholeheartedly. (This is not up for debate so before you comment, you can just move right along.)

10. It is NOT a protest against the flag or the military. It is not a showing of disrespect. It is a plea for equality. I believe Shonda Rhimes said it best today, "By kneeling, players don’t disrespect the flag. They ask US to respect the flag. They ask us to make the anthem true for all of us." #nodebate

11. Since we want to regulate each other, however, please make sure that you yourself are not in violation of any U.S. flag codes. You can research them here: http://www.usflag.org/uscode36.html#176 Here are a couple of highlights: - The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. - The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard. - No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform. #IHaveBeenTotallyGuilty of breaking the flag code.

12. Today, I picked up two young moms and their babies off the side of Highway 55. It was sweltering and their car had broken down. I exited and drove back around to help them get off the highway. I would hope someone might do the same for me if I needed it.

Sleep well loved ones. Enjoy the week, especially as we get out of these 90 degree temperatures. Love somebody, #hugastranger. Love you all.

[pillowwriter-blog]

September 17th, 2017

Welcome to Sunday night and THOUGHTS BEFORE BED!

1. My phone just told me that it's time to go to bed and I am almost in tears. The weekend CANNOT be over already! ☹️

2. Today on twitter, I was accused of being a sexist because I said that I don't think tank tops are proper professional attire for women.

3. I mean they DRAGGED me on twitter... talking about, "you didn't say men shouldn't wear wife beaters" and "if you want to sweat it out in a hot classroom that's fine but don't expect others to suffer" and "dress codes are already sexist and you are sexist for calling out your own kind..." #mercyme

4. Hold up ladies. Tank top and sleeveless shirt are NOT the same thing. I am assuming that a shirt without sleeves would be equally as cool and still allow you to keep your bra and your breasts completely covered.

5. As for men in wife beaters... First of all, they are CALLED wife beaters. Secondly, they are meant to be worn UNDER another shirt. Finally, I have yet to encounter a man in the work place in his grandpa's undershirt. But if I did, I would also say it was inappropriate and I guess I'd STILL be a sexist... just on the other side of things. #WHATEVER

6. Do you know who Tim Williams is? He is the TriVago guy. I would travel with that man. I mean, if he wanted to travel with me, I would not say no.

7. It is possible to disagree with the act of demonstrating or protesting and not be racist. HOWEVER, some of y'all are racist a.f. #ijs #excusemyfrench

8. And, please, for all that is good and holy, stop comparing stuff that happens to white folks with #travyonmartin #sandrabland #ericgarner#tamirrice #philandocastile #terrancecrutcher and on and on and on.

9. Additionally, my support for the continued fight for equal rights, civil rights and the end to systemic racism does NOT mean that I am not a supporter of the police. I have friends and relatives who are upstanding officers serving their communities with integrity and tremendous sacrifice.

10. Do all clowns clown the same? Do all teachers teach the same? Do all writers write the same? Do all famers farm the same? (Are you getting my point?)

11. I made a pretty yummy cake today.

12. I am considering a weekend in an unnamed hotel where I will eat room service, work on my book, and sleep. Oh, a girl can dream!

I hope you all have a rewarding week. Don't forget to pay it forward when the blessings come. #hugastranger Sleep well, friends. Love you all.

[pillowwriter-blog]

September 13th, 2017

How about a hump day THOUGHTS BEFORE BED? I will keep it short.

1. Mom and dad celebrated 49 years today with Chinese food, a sit on the porch, and the Cardinals game, from the couch.

2. They usually sit across the room from each other but they have been sitting right next to each other on the love seat all night.

3. I can't get a good look but I think they are holding hands.

4. I love holding hands. I will hold hands with family members, friends, strangers. There is a sincere and loving connection that occurs when you hold hands.

5. You have to reach past your own walls to hold hands with another person and they have to let you past theirs. It's beautiful. I believe it's why why hold hands when we pray, when we rally, when we protest. It's the ultimate symbol of unity.

6. And then, of course, there are HUGS. I have a new colleague who hugs me every day. If I don't see him, I miss that hug. Y'all KNOW that I think WE ALL NEED TO HUG MORE.

7. The scent of Drakkar floated through the B hallway today, transporting me to another time. It did not last very long but OH the memories!

8. A couple of times per week, there is a young man who walks past my house either to or from work. We started chatting, honestly, because he is a black kid walking through a white neighborhood and, I guess I wanted him to see a friendly face on his way. He is a senior in high school. Our hellos have grown to chats. He wants to be a music producer. Today he asked if he could share some beats with me the next time he passes by. Of course! #alwaysateacher #alwayslovethekids #teacherlife

Two more days til the weekend folks. YOU CAN DO IT. There is still some time to #hugastranger. NEVER FEAR! Love you all! Sleep well.

[pillowwriter-blog]

September 10, 2017

It's a little early for Thoughts Before Bed but I still have some notebooks to read and some grades to record so I thought I'd get these bad boys out right now.

1. "The best thing to hold onto in this life is each other." Audrey Hepburn

2. Prayer request for all my prayer warrior friends: please pray for my health.

3. Today, I asked my dad who his NFL team is this year, given that we are teamless in St. Louis. He said, "The Rams. I am going to root against them every week."

4. This Wednesday, my parents will celebrate their 49th wedding anniversary. Please keep them in your prayers as well.

5. I got some chicken stuck in my teeth earlier so I had to floss. Just wanted you to know Carmen.

6. The reporters who are out in the hurricane are idiots. Folks are all over the news telling residents to take shelter and stay safe and these clowns are like "Ooo! Ooo! Pick me! Pick me to go outside and hold onto a street sign so I won't blow away." #brilliant #notreally #thatssarcasm

7. My writing checks are not coming in fast enough or close enough together nor are they large enough. So, I guess I will be ubering again, starting this week.

8. Our house needs SO much work. I really need to win the lottery.

9. I saw an old woman in daisy dukes at WalMart today. They had to be cutting off her circulation. I was curious and disgusted at the same time.

10. I made a banana cake today. It was good but not quite like the Sara Lee cake in the foil pan. Man, I loved that when I was a kid.

11. "The love shared around the table is far more important than the meal on top of it." Maybe in an effort toward world peace, we should gather and eat more.

Okie dokie friends. I hope you have a positively life-changing week. #hugastranger, share a meal with a friend, spread a little love. As always, love to each of you. Sleep well.

[pillowwriter-blog]

September 7th, 2017

I have a few THOUGHTS BEFORE BED that just can't hang on until Sunday. Mostly because my memory is TERRIBLE lately. So, here you go...

1. Obviously prayers for hurricane and fire victims and evacuees... man, I am thankful for being in the midwest.

2. That said, I have this sort of endless sense of urgency lately. There is more to come.

3. I am grateful for the gift of intuition, passed on apparently by my paternal grandmother. Not much gets past me. However, I am less and less inclined to just pretend I don't know things and more and more inclined to separate myself from situations that "just don't feel right."

4. Honking should be reserved for preventing dangerous situations. Honking should not be a tool of your temper tantrum.

5. Apparently becoming an expert is something you can do on the fast track these days. What was that speed reading course that was advertised when I was a kid? Whatever it was, young people these days must be taking that course to know it all.

6. Part of being a teacher is being teachable.

7. Also... being a teacher is not about being an expert. It requires continuous learning.

8. Another thing... teaching is about opening doors for young people. It is about boosting them up so they can peer through the windows of the world. It is about offering them possibilities. It is not really about the teacher at all.

9. My patience for people who only want to hear what makes them feel good ran out in the 90s. #sorrynotsorry

10. Today is #NationalBeerLoversDay. I had a Bud Select. Not very creative, I know. I grew up in a beer drinking family. On hot summer days when I am parched, I crave an ice cold beer. Even though it wasn't a hot day, that Bud Select went down quite nicely.

11. I am working on making very intentional decisions these days.

12. Previous conversations are as easy to spot as a dancing pig in a red dress and heels.

Ok... let me go bag up these chocolate chip cookies and make my lunch for tomorrow before I climb under the covers. Love to all of you. Let's get some hugs out there before the weekend, folks. #HugAStranger & Sleep well!

[pillowwriter-blog]

September 3rd, 2017

Vacation break! Time for THOUGHTS BEFORE BED.

1. Fat girls don't get kidnapped and they don't fall out of roller coasters. #EatYourDinner 2. If I have not heard from you since November 2016, you cannot dictate the expectations of our relationship. 3. I don't get mad when people do things without me. I mean how many of you went out for dinner or drinks & maybe even in my neighborhood with someone else in the last week and did not invite me? 4. In fact, I see that one of my friends is in New York this week and another is en route to Ireland while still another is on a cruise... and NOT ONE of them called me to see if I would be interested in going too. #thenerve 5. Confession: I took a trip to Memphis and I did not ask all of my friends to go. This is IN NO WAY a reflection of the volume of LOVE I feel for each of you. 6. Prepare yourselves people... it is likely that I will take another two or three trips in the next 12 months and roughly 98% of you will not be invited to go along. 7. Asking questions is a good thing. It helps avoid confusion. 8. What's that scripture about casting the first stone? We should read that... commit it to memory. You know? 9. I had a 6th-grade-type outfit crisis and I didn't want to go out. Nearly ruined girls weekend single-handedly. 10. Finding joy in the joy of others evokes the purest form of happiness. #facts 11. Along the same lines, You should not see the happiness of others as a slight against you. 12. Not everything is for you. #sorrynotsorry 13. I feel like I must reassure the world that my pursuit of happiness, peace, and a little bit of sanity is never in spite of others. It's just not about you. #seriously 14. Finally tonight, my desire for unity and equality for ALL people is viewed by many as "negativity." Honestly, if that comes across as negative energy, it might be time to be honest with yourself about why you are so threatened by the idea. #ijs

Alright folks, we are MOVING ON and moving up! I love you all, each and everyone of you. Sleep well!

[pillowwriter-blog]

August 29th, 2017

Thoughts Before Bed, "is-it-the-weekend-yet" edition.

1. To paraphrase my wise cousin, if you don't truly know the facts, please do not speak on it. #thankyouandgoodnight

2. Life is not always short. Sometimes it is long and miserable. Sometimes it is unappreciated. But sometimes... Sometimes is is beautiful and long and so good that you just don't want it to end and neither do the people around you. (Please add my friend Denise and her family to your prayer lists, my friends.)

3. Today, I had lunch with a student. Every time she has my class, she asks if she can eat in my room because she has no friends at 2nd lunch. She said, "It's not like the movies where you can just go up to a table full of kids and say, can I sit here? It's just hard." I understand. I also enjoy her company. #WiseBeyondHerYears

4. I realized yesterday that my students were not comprehending ANYTHING we were reading. None of it. I was mad. But today I asked why. They gave me their thoughts and we started a new reading process. We are reading together, out loud and we have promised one another that any time we don't understand something or we don't know a word, we will raise our hands and discuss it. TODAY WAS HUGELY SUCCESSFUL. Tomorrow, we will start again.

5. "No one is listening until you fart." ~Author Unknown

6. While watching the volleyball games, I really missed coaching. When I got home at 7:30PM, I realized why I am not doing it this year.

7. Sometimes, giving people options just creates chaos. Some situations just do not call for a democratic system. What's for dinner, for example... And department meetings.

8. I have been waking up in the middle of the night and I am not able to go back to sleep for an hour. Sometimes I chat with God. Other times, I play Design Home on my phone. Most times, I am pretty ticked off that I can't go back to sleep.

9. My wine class has redeemed itself & passed the title on to my 7th hour who I am certain has not heard a single word I've said. Tomorrow, I plan to say the magic word: HOMEWORK. #what #huh#BUTMSRAUSCHyousaidnohomework

10. The top 3 things my mom says while watching a Cardinals game (over and over and over): "Matheny is just not a good coach." "How many kids does Dan McLaughlin have?" "I have NEVER SEEN ANYTHING like that."

11. There is a giant beer with my name on it waiting for me in Memphis. I will be collecting it on Saturday. #keepitcold

It's almost hump day, friends! #Hugastranger, do right by the people around you, share LOVE as often as you can, and sleep well.

Love to you all.

[pillowwriter-blog]

August 27th, 2017

Sunday night has arrived early, as usual... Smh. ;) But! That means it is time for THOUGHTS BEFORE BED.

1. I am beside myself with excitement because I scored a VIP ticket to meet my favorite author in September.

2. This afternoon, I was headed to the grocery story and I heard my dad say to my mom, "Good. She's gone. Now we can make out." #um #ew#getaroom

3. This morning, I was up at sunrise and I had all my yard work and two loads of laundry done by 9:30 AM. #adulting

4. Thank God Mayweather (or as my dad calls him, Merryweather) won that fight. I bet two students on that fight and I won. Now, they have to read out loud in class this week. #wickedlaugh

5. I am not the kind of person who can "just move on." Unfortunately, I have to discuss what happened.

6. The tragic events in Houston are frightening and paralyzing. I saw a photo of one family who had written their names & family members names on their arms in permanent marker in case they were separated or they didn't make it out. The waiting must be torture. #letuspray

7. Some of us will die waiting for apologies we'll never get.

8. I want to write about something very controversial but it is going to take time.

9. Speaking of controversial... When my black friends respond to me as if I am every other white woman who has not understood, treated them poorly, betrayed them, not truly loved them, not respected them, etc., I want to scream I AM NOT EVERY OTHER WHITE WOMAN but I don't because I am afraid I will be accused of shedding "white tears" because right now, white folks are not allowed to be offended or hurt or feel like something is done to them because they are white. #sorrynotsorry#mytruth (White people, please don't comment on this. I don't need you turning my words into your soapbox. #TIA)

10. MUST. BUY. MORE. LOTTERY. TICKETS. When I win the lottery, which I will because I am speaking it boldly into the universe, I will hire a driver and a personal trainer.

11. When you have to block certain people from most of your FB (including Thoughts) because they are either unreasonable human beings or they are racists in denial, it makes you rethink social media for a moment.

12. I should have had like six kids. This attic is not going to clean itself out!

Remember that I love you. All of you. Each, in your own way (wink, wink). Enjoy your week. Do something kind for someone. Maybe #hugastranger while you're at it. Sleep well friends.

[pillowwriter-blog]

August 20th, 2017

Thoughts Before Bed, the first week of school edition, comes to you early thanks to Sunday nights becoming CHAOS the minute school starts again. Sorry it's so long!

1. I am going to need about 27 kids to carry stuff from my car to my classroom tomorrow. (Total spent 3 weeks into my new job: $408; Total I can deduct from my taxes: $250)

2. The first week of school, student interaction in the hallways left me in awe. Very little cursing, absolutely no yelling, no pushing, no jockeying for position… students walking urgently to class and talking as they moved, laughter. “Good morning Ms. Rausch!” #sothisishowitworks #refreshing

3. I heard a teacher complain, “It’s gotten much worse here in the last few years.” That’s not what she wanted to say but I knew what she meant and I shook my head at her. My response? "This place is great! We really have it good here."

4. My students wrote almost FULL PAGE free writes on the FIRST DAY. It felt like heaven for a teacher who loves to write and wants the kids to love to write. Even the reluctant, wrote feverishly all the way up till the 7-minute timer rang out. #impressive

5. I let the students create EXPECTATIONS for ME this week. Here is a sampling: "Please don’t yell at us.” “Put our grades in on time. Don’t procrastinate.” “Please don’t compare us to other kids.” “Don’t act like you know our background or what is going on in our lives.” “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” “Let us read good books. Come to class with energy. Listen to our ideas.”

6. It’s good to have friends who are your “fun” friends and to have friends who will commiserate with you when you need it but sometimes I wish my fun friends would also commiserate because that could get crazy.

7. I REALLY wish school was canceled tomorrow. I have no desire to go outside for this eclipse thing. #seriously

8. This week, I attended an event where I saw people from almost every aspect of my life: family, church, volleyball, teaching. Some I hadn’t seen for years. Others were new to my life. In fact, I got to meet the family of a current student who I have known for all of a week. The #love was #REALthat night. And… it was right on time.

9. There was a time when I could not stand teenagers. Now, I can't imagine my life without them.

10. This week, I add "going to the gym" to my after school routine. My goal is to lose 50 pounds this year. I am NOT going to keep you posted though because, for me, that is a recipe for failure.

11. Change is often what we need to reignite our passion. It's hard. It's scary. But a new venue with new faces and a new routine forces you back to square one. I am glad to be at square one again.

Love you all! I hope you enjoy your week and find a way to offer a little joy to the folks around you. Maybe #hugastranger! Or not. Just do something! Sleep well! #dontforgetyourglassestomorrow #UGHtheeclipse

[pillowwriter-blog]

August 13th, 2017

Tonight's THOUGHTS BEFORE BED will take a serious tone due to the events in #Charlottesville this weekend. I may follow up tomorrow night with some silly bits for balance but for now, here is what is on my mind.

1. Please do not EVER say, "I can't believe this is happening" when an overt and brazen act of racism (whether paired with violence or not) occurs in our country. Why not? #History my friends. This is who we are as a country.

2. Does that mean this is who we must be? No. Does it mean that history has to repeat itself? No.

3. That said, there are 917 active hate groups in the United States. They are operating from sea to shining sea.

4. This is bad news. But it is also good news because it means that every one of us has an opportunity to stand up against racism.

4. I know you have questions. And, you know I've got answers. First of all, whose job is it to end racism? Well the onus falls on white people because what we are witnessing and what our friends and neighbors are experiencing is, quite frankly, white racism. #dontarguewithme

5. White people started all this crap. White folks gotta end it. So you ask, "what do I have to do?" You must simply speak up when you see injustices, unfairness, outright racism at the expense of the people of color around you.

6. "But they are racist against us too!" No, white people, they are not. Set aside the white fragility for a moment & hear me out. I don't have time to get into the whole "you must be in a position of power to oppress others" lecture but I will say this, what you may have experienced is likely not deserved by you but is a by-product of years and years of oppression, systemic racism, and just a lot of shit that people of color have had to endure at the hands of white people in power. #truth

7. If you still think you are experiencing "reverse racism" which is ABSOLUTELY NOT A THING, I hear they have tiki torches on sale at WalMart.

8. My friends of color, I am sorry but you are not off the hook here. "Haven't we done enough?" you ask. Not yet. #sorrynotsorry You cannot be angry when a white person asks you what they need to do to end racism. You just can't. There is eagerness in the asking. There is a desire to work for a change but guidance and specifics might be needed. And who better than a person of color to help the people who actually step up for change. HELP folks recognize what is racist and what isn't? If you don't see it, you can't change it.

9. That means, my friends, that when people of color tell us something is racist, we must listen.

10. This is going to be really hard. It's going to suck to hear how awful the racist folks before us and currently around us have been. And we might have to acknowledge white privilege (which, again, I do not have the time or the patience to explain yet again). But, we all have to do the work now. Not next week or next year... right now.

11. Finally, I hate to add a footnote on what is, to me, a very important post. But I know it is necessary. You are not invited to disagree with this post but you are welcome to hide me, mute me, delete me from your FB feed. This is my truth. It is the truth for so many people, including Heather Heyer. If it is not your truth, you are obviously welcome to continue to live in your happy place and even post about it on your own page.

If we do not agree, I love you anyway. In fact, I love you all. It's time to reflect. It is time to resist. It is time to prove that we really mean it when we say all lives matter. ;) Sleep well. Have a beautiful week.#HugAStranger if you have a chance.

[pillowwriter-blog]

August 6th, 2017

Good evening friends. It's Sunday night, I am back, and it is time for THOUGHTS BEFORE BED.

1. I have spent the last couple of weeks prepping for the school year at my new job. It has been really nice getting to know some of the other new teachers & sort of figuring out how things work. Tomorrow, all teachers report. I am nervous.

2. Today, I had brunch with my original wolf pack, my original tried and true. Nearly every moment, I could have cried. Tears of joy, uncertainty, shame, contrition.

3. One dear friend said today, "Once someone is in your life for so long, they never really leave. They are a part of your life forever." #truth

4. There are some very difficult topics I would like to start to discuss, particularly related to race relations. I don't want to post them because...

5. Words in print often have a meaning different that the author/speaker intends. Tone and inflection are everything.

6. That said, when you know someone for very long time, tone and inflection are considered along with HEART when you are listening to that person. If you really know them, you know what they mean before they say it.

7. Remember when people use to communicate via mail or passing notes in class. Back then, there were never (rarely) the misunderstandings that come thanks to texting and social media today. Words were just words back then. They just meant... what they meant.

8. If you have a visceral response to something someone types/texts/writes to you, especially when the words are simple and not inflammatory, you MUST do a gut check to figure out why you reacted the way you did. If someone else had "said" the exact same thing, would they have received the same reaction from you?

9. Next weekend, I will be at the theater for the showing of Whose Streets? It will not be for everyone but I think it is an important film.

10. I think there are MANY people who appreciate the idea of equality for all but who have no desire for unity. I think in our striving to bring change (and I have said this before many times) we must be careful not to plant seeds of division for future generations to harvest. Is separate but equal what you want? Not me.

11. I FINALLY have vegetables in my garden. They are not ripe. But they are there. I am not just growing pretty plants! YAY!

12. I struggle to let go and move forward when I am aware that others (important or not) are dragging my name through the mud (or just a little dirt). I want to defend myself. I want others to defend me. I want something done. The reality is that most folks listening to the dragging don't really know the whole story and they will never get it and there is NOTHING you can do. Nothing but continue being you and live with confidence that you have been kind and gracious and generous and have done nothing that deserves that treatment. #REALLYmovingonnow ;)

13. Good luck to all my teacher friends headed back to the J.O.B. tomorrow. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! And, when you feel like you can't, let me know. One of my goals for this year is to be more supportive of other teachers. So, I will bring you a cupcake or a hug or an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on if you need it. Just let me know!

Alright, alright, alright, folks! I have to try to make myself go to bed early. Know that I truly love you all. #NOTjustwords Have a wonderful week. Find joy in the little things and, if you have the opportunity, #HugAStranger. Sleep well!

[pillowwriter-blog]

July 23, 2017

Thoughts before Bed are coming to you early tonight because tomorrow morning, I go back to my regularly scheduled program which includes getting up at 5AM. Woohoo.

1. Last night I had a very enjoyable online conversation with some of my sisters and nieces and cousins.

2. Speaking of relatives, Elvis is my cousin. It's true. And yes, I mean THE Elvis.

3. I have been resisting the temptation to comment on my former students' statuses for quite a while now. I don't know how much longer I can hold out.

4. Presentation is everything. I know this because sometimes when people post food of their latest and greatest meal, I think, "I would not eat that." Although some of you really need to invite me over for dinner.

5. Speaking of ugly food. There is a recipe floating around out there called CATCH A HUSBAND CAKE. First of all, why didn’t anybody tell me A LONG TIME AGO that cake was necessary for catching a husband? I am really good at cake. This cake however looks awful to me. http://easyrecipesly.com/catch-a-husband-cake/

7. Call me ridiculous or flippant. Heck call me a bitch some days. But call me self-centered or say that I have a martyr complex and we have a problem.

8. You do not make other people treat you badly. They make the decision to treat you badly and you should not stick around for that. So when someone says that you should think about what YOU did to make THEM snap, just say no.

9. New chapter in life starts Wednesday. It’s not just a new job. Lots of things are changing. Stay tuned.

10. I know that my dog’s high expectations are my own fault. I walk her every day, no matter what. So when it is over 100 degrees and she brings me her leash, I can’t expect her to understand, “there is no way in hell we are going out there,” especially since I cave and take her any way EVERY SINGLE TIME.

11. Have you ever been suspicious of that one FB friend who is suddenly liking all of the stuff you've posted for the last month? Like, why are you all over my page?

12. Mom's legs are really hurting today. She takes like 20 steps and she looks like she is still in the same spot. Reminds me of Tim Conway on the Carol Burnett show.

Finally, this week... Since I came home from LA, I have been battling back and forth with the idea of quitting everything. And when I say EVERYTHING, I mean it. I do not "work hard" at my life. I live in a way that naturally creates happiness and, for me, that means caring for others, doing for others, being generally productive and sometimes drinking a Bloody Mary or a glass of wine. I have always loved my life. I have also been really good at tuning out the negative and powering through to the good stuff. I enjoy having to dig sometimes to see the good in others and the outcomes of my efforts bring great reward like hugs and sometimes an "I love you." Joy makes everything worth "it," whatever it is. But, as hard as it may be for some to understand or believe, I was verbally attacked after a very innocent exchange early in the week and it crushed me. I am not "feeling better" today. I am absolutely questioning everything. Who am I? Why am I here? What is all of this even for? I know that with time, I will recover emotionally. But I am very lost right now so I probably could use some prayer or some positive thoughts or whatever good energy you can send my way. I want to keep on doing what I do, you know? But I don't know how right now.

I hope you all find beauty in the little things this week. I hope you get hugged even if you can't bring yourself to #hugastranger. I wish you all GREAT love and a good night's sleep. Be well.