Pelaileva Ananas

Welcome to dreamingpineapples.tumblr.com gaming blog. It's basically trashcan to my fanfics and gaming screenshots. Enjoy!

[pineappleplays]

Ciro’s thoughts

I wish they would go away. That's all.

My head has been full of thoughts lately. I find myself looking at a book page and having no idea what I just read, and it has never happened before. I always remember what I read and even know which information was in which page, but lately... Eveything is just blurry. I find myself sometimes just looking at my hand and thinking; maybe I should do it myself rather than let anything else do it. Sea or enemy, I mean. I would just need to take those claws out that belonged to the beast that lived inside of me, and put them to my throat. That's all. Insting would do the rest, I think.

I just wish they would go away. Did they have to do it?

It hurt. Why didn't anyone saw it? I just wanted everything to be quiet, even for a moment. Music was so loud that evening, Noa must have found new ways to play his violin and tried them out. It sounded like everyone had gathered to look at him to play. No, not him. Them. I heard it after a while. Music had stopped for a second and when it started to play again, I heard it loud and clear. Her... Ada. My heart skipped a beat and I raised my eyes to the door of my room. She knew what she was doing with her voice and it was the most beautiful thing I had evenr heard. Once again. I looked back to my book, but noticed that I didn't even know what book I was reading anymore. My head was so fuzzy and still full of thoughts. They were loud thoughts, but the music was louder. Much louder.

I frowned and got up as an idea to tell them to lower down a bit, but I stopped at the door, looking at my hand at the door knob. I heard already what Bee would say. 'Mister Serious came to ruin everything again.' Or Sirius, he would roll his eyes and flip a finger as he would as Noa to play even louder. Noa would of course just stop the music for good and all would be disappointed. And Ada... she would look at me but look away at once if I would look her in the eyes. She didn't want to even look at me anymore. I wouldn't want either though, if I was honest.

Did they have to do it? I was there. Right there. I saw it. I let go from the knob and went to sit on my bed. It would be perfect time right now. Everyone was having fun. Dancing and listening Ada's singing. The most perfect voice I have ever heard. That anyone had heard, I think. It would be perfect backround sound to do it. To end it all. They knew I was there. I'm sure they did. They were so happy just having each others on their arms. Smiling. Laughing. Kissing. Kissing... She had helped me just an hour earlier to calm down. She had knew exactly what to say and what to sing to me. She saved me like she had saved me everyday after the day they made me eat the berry. Berry that turned me into this beast. I felt it growing inside of me again. The feeling of loosing control. Nothing scared me more than that feeling. Music and Ada's voice grew louder. She couldn't even look at me in the eyes anymore. She couldn't sing to me anymore. Noa's voice echoed in my head; 'We didn't mean to keep it as a secret, I'm sorry that we hurt you.' Lies. He knew what he was doing and with who and that I saw her. If I turned now... Maybe--

Sharp knock made my head pop up and my eyes went a bit narrow as the door opened without me answering. It was Romeo.

"What?" "Are you hungry? I'm making some snacks to all but you were not with us, so I came to ask." "No, thank you." I said with monotoned voice, lowring my gaze. "You haven't eaten in two days now, haven't you?" "What do you care?" "I'm the one making food inventory and there's been more leftovers than ever." Of course. Inventory was important. "I see." I answered and Romeo just stared at me from the door. I lifted my gaze and my brows. "Anything else?" "Don't do anything stupid." "What do you mean." "You know what I mean, Ciro. It's not an answer." I didn't answer anymore. Of course I knew Romeo was right. Ending it all by myself would just make everyone worry. But then again, life goes on. They wouldn't be sad long. They had each others. Bee was everyone's favorite. Kim and Needle understood each others well. Sirius and Ruby and... Ada and Noa.

"Can you close the door as you go?" "I think it would be best if you came with me." "No thank you." "I don't want to leave you alone." "Well, you have no choice." I said and looked Romeo sharply, as I felt how the best lifted his head too, making my voice crack and growly.

[pineappleplays]

Can I open the sky to you?

I was just returned from my trip once again. But this time was different. My brother had left home, back to our dad's place. He was still a child, so he really needed to study still before moving to his own. Another thing was... Elýon was not there waiting for me. Idea of that still hurt, but I knew it was the best for us. I had just too much emotions towards him and he couldn't return them all. He was a prostitude and wanted to be free, I understood that. But he did remind me of Ynos, who I was with before Elýon. Maybe that's why I fell for him. But now... Only one who was waiting for me... My antidote, my sunshine, my light in the dark... Lonán. I brushed my long hair a bit between my fingers and smiled a bit. What would Lonán say about my hair? It had got very long in my trip. I didn't tell that in my letters which I sent to him. When was even the last time I wrote to him? It was a while... Maybe couple of months. I had an idea to return then, but something came up and I decided to stay a bit longer.

It was been almost a year since I saw Lonán last time. I missed his smell, his smile and his hugs... I hope he missed me too. I gulped as I stood in front of his door. I was so nervous... I hope I wouldn't interrupt anything. I felt my hand trembling a bit when I finally knocked. First, I didn't heard anything, and thought Lonán was out, but then I heard his footsteps. They were light as birds... When he opened the door, big smile rise to my face. Finally... His hair was in a messy bun, and he had loose shirt on with a cape. He smelled like tea... He was just home today. Lucky me. "Hello, Lonán." Lonán looked me with surprise, and then started smiling too and jumped to me. "Níkolaus! It's really you!" He laughed as he hugged me tightly. He was farm and it felt good. He also smelled so warm and familiar... It was safe and something I knew well. Lonán... Oh, Lonán.... "I missed you..." They were my first words towards him, as I felt how tears started to fell to my cheeks. It felt so good to be there... With him again. "I missed you too, Níkolaus... It's so good to see you. Oh, Níko, don't cry..." "I can't help it." I laughed a bit, and saw Lonán's eyes to start to tear up little bit too. It sure had been long time... Lonán wiped my tears gently and hummed a bit, looking me then with a surprise again. "Oh, I didn't notice... Your hair! It's so long!" "Yeah, I... it grew out." "It's so beautiful, and fits you so well!" Lonán smiled brightly. "Thank you. I have had long hair before too so... Yeah. Mm... maybe... Maybe this time you can brush my hair... I would like it." "I would be honored." Lonán smiled gently, hugging me then again warmly and tighlyt, and I didn't say no to it, hugging him back and pressing my face to his shoulder. I finally felt like I was home... "Did you eat already? We could do something together." "No, I just arrived. I wanted see you first." "Oh, Níko... That makes me happy, but you should eat, you know." "At least Divi has taught you something while I was gone." Lonán laughed a bit and asked me to come in. It felt like I were never left... Everything was like last time. Couple new things was here and there, but still. It was a place I could call a bit home. Still, there was something I was missing the most... Lonán closed the door and smiled to me. "So, would you like some tea? I just made some--" Lonán got quiet when I pulled him gently back against me. I appreciated the offer, or course, but I just... I looked Lonán in the eyes and smiled a bit, before I kissed him gently. I closed my eyes when I felt Lonán's smile against my lips as he kissed me back little bit. It felt good and right... I was worried that my feelings would have been changed in my trip, but no... Kissing him felt still so right and safe. Lonán leaded back a bit and bit his lip smiling. "Have you been practicing with someone? That was good..." "No, I... haven't been kissing anyone. Last time was with you." "Really? Maybe I just then forgot how good you were." I blushed and leaned on Lonán's forehead. "I missed you..." "Mm, I missed you too, Níko..." Lonán smiled and leaned back to my forehead, giving me a little peck on the lips. "So, would you like to have some tea?" "Thank you, but actually I'm really tired, so can I sleep little bit?" "Of course. I can come to read next to you." "I would love that."

Lonán's bed was comfy as always, and it didn't take me long to fell asleep next to Lonán, as he came to read a book next to me. I leaned my head to his hips, as he started to stroke my hair gently. I almost wanted to cry from happiness, but I really was too tired to even do that. I don't know how long I slept, but when I woke up, Lonán was still reading, a bit in different position as before, as I didn't lean to his hips anymore. I looked Lonán as he read and drank tea and smiled little bit. My little free bird... As beautiful as the sun. My sunshine, my dearest... I really wish... I really did wish that... "Lonán?" "Oh, you are awake... Mm, what is it? Did you sleep well?" "I did, thank you... Mm, remember when we talked about our names and their meanings?" Lonán put the book down and nod. "Of course. You're such a precious thing with your name and all." I blushed and smiled, leaning against Lonán. "Stop it... You make me blush." "Then I won't stop." "You're mean." "You're adorable, Níko." "Mm... I was just thinking... Since my name means key and all, that maybe I can be the key to your heart one day..." Lonàn looked me, and his smile changed a bit and he sighed. "Níkolaus... Those are very big words, and I can't promise anything like that to become true... I'm sorry." "I know, but it's good to have dreams. My life has been dark, Lonàn, and when I met you, it became a lot brighter. You opened the door to light to me, so I wish I can do same to you." I smiled gently to him. I saw Lonàn smiling a bit sadly, but I knew that he couldn't promise anything like that to me. I didn't mind it. The fact that I could be with him was already something I thought was blessing to me. He was my blessing... My little free bird. The whole sky was open to you, and still you decide to stay here on the ground with me. That means already so much to me, you don't even understand, I tough and raise to sit, leaning to kiss Lonán's cheek a bit. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to say that..." "It's okay, I just feel a bit bad, since I can't say same to you." "Please, don't. I know it, but it doesn't change my feelings or make me sad. I know you... And I want to get to know you even more." "Níkolaus..." Lonán looked me in to eyes and leaned to me, as he put his book away and we kissed once again. Maybe Lonán couldn't say words like me, but he sure did know how to show those with actions. He was a good kisser, I couldn't complain about it.

"Are you kissing me, because you feel bad for me?" I whispered against his lips with little gasp after a while, opening my eyes a bit looking Lonán. I wasn't sure, but I tough that I saw a little blush on his cheeks, as he slowly shook his head. "I... I just--" "You don't have to say anything else..." I said quietly, and kissed Lonán again opening my mouth a bit more to him. I knew he couldn't say those words, but actions was as good to me. I showed him over a year ago how I felt in the same way. Maybe Lonán wanted to show it to me this time? And I wasn't wrong. I knew it in that moment, as he leaned on top of me and kissed me even more, sighing then a bit in his special way, when he really did something he liked. I loved that sigh, I loved it so much... Lonán crossed his fingers with my own after he got our clothes away and started to kiss my neck and collarbones as I sighed out loud. I felt blush rush in my face till to my shoulders. He really knew what he was doing... "Are you okay?" "I'm always, when I'm with you. You couldn't do anything I don't like..." "Níko... You always speak so sweetly..." Lonán smiled and made me smile too. His hair in his neck felt soft, as little feathers which tickled a top of my fingers...

I stroke Lonán's neck as he moved in top of me. His hips felt hot, even when my own must have been as hot as his. My sighs and gasps filled the room as I hugged Lonán with my other hand. I wanted to be close to him as possible, kissing his shoulder at the same time. It tasted like sweat... Lonán sighed too out loud, making me almost crazy. I really wanted to come already, but Lonán felt so good inside me, I really didn't want it to be over so soon. "Slow a bit... Just a bit..." I moaned quietly, getting a little nod against my head. "Does it hurt?" I shook my head and kissed Lonán's temple gently, breathing hot air in his ear. "I just want this moment to last a bit longer..." Lonán hummed a bit, kissing then my temple too and then my lips, as he raised a bit my hips with his other hand. "We have all day and night... We can do this as many times you want to..." "Then I want this to never end..." "Does it really feel that good?" "Even better..." I mumbled, and I raised a bit to kiss Lonán gently. I think I never had felt something like that while having sex. Maybe this was it what people meant as they said they were making love with each other. If it was, then I wouldn't ever have to say anything to Lonán anymore about my feelings. If this was how he felt towards me, it really was same kind of feelings that I had...

Lonán sure had a lot of stamina. He made me come over and over again, and I saw from his face that he enjoyed every moment. "Haven't you been with anyone while I was away?" I mumbled to mattress and looked him over my shoulder with a blush, as he leaned on top of me from behind. Lonán smirked a bit and laughed. "You are so cute.. I have, but since you haven't, I want to give you every moment we didn't got while you were away. You still okay to continue?" "Mm... You just sure have stamina..." "Depends, but right now, I do..." I was embarrassed from the sounds I made, as Lonán's hips thrust against mine from behind. I tried to cover them with mumbling to mattress, which I was squeezing with my fingers so much, that my knuckles turned white. Lonán reached his hand, and turned my head a bit. "Let me hear how you feel, Níko..." "Mmhh...! Lonán...! Aahhh...! Haahhh!" "That's better... Much better..." He sighed with a bit trembling whisper, which made me tremble a bit too. I felt how Lonán's warm hand slide between my legs and started to caress me even more, making me moan even louder, gasping air a bit in between my loud sighs. Lonán started to moan louder too, and I couldn't take it anymore, as I came once again, and felt how Lonán was close too, and finally came too with a big orgasm. I don't know had I ever felt him came like that, but it made me glad and pleased. It was good that he could enjoy pleasing me that much... I was honored.

I rolled to my back finally, and pulled Lonán on top of me to my lap, hugging him tightly. We were both gasping air, and I felt Lonán's heart beating fast against my chest. I bet he felt mine too... We were sweaty and tired, but I felt more alive than in a long time. "That... was a good welcoming gift." I smirked then a bit, when I got my breath steady again. Lonán hummed and smiled, nodding then too. "I'm glad to have you back, Níkolaus." "Mm, I felt it... You showed it in a very good way." I saw Lonán's eyes a shimmer a bit, as he then leaned against my shoulder, hugging me tightly. Maybe it was my imagination, but I think that was Lonán wanted me to feel, and was happy that I did...

I ended up staying Lonán's place next week. We just had so much to talk about, and always when I talked about leaving, I saw a bit sadness in Lonán's smile that I haven't saw before, which made me stay. Maybe he really had missed me that much... Finally I rented a room from hotel, and started to look for my own apartment close to Lonán's. I wanted to stay put finally, and I really felt home near Lonán, so I saw it to be wise decision. Then I could see my bird fly freely everyday, while still knowing, that he would come back when he wanted. Maybe I couldn't be the key to Lonán's heart, since it was free soul, and maybe even couldn't love like mine. But maybe... Maybe I could be a key to his cage, so he could always fly freely in the sky, where he belongs.

Maybe I could be the one, who opened the sky to him.

[pineappleplays]

A confession - "Can you show me how you feel?"

I brushed Lonàn's long hair gently. It was so soft and smooth, just like Lonàn was himself. He smiled as he told a story about his day before I had arrived. He had had a dinner with Qvan before and it had been delicious. It sure sounded like it too. I had just returned from my trip and decided to stay my night at Lonàn's place. I had seen Elýon before, but he had to take his customer's all night, since he needed money. It would have been nice to spend time with him after my long trip, but I was lucky that Lónan was free.

"I have only talked about myself. How was your trip? You haven't told me anything yet." Lonàn said then, looking a bit over his shoulder. I smiled, looking again his hair what I was brushing. It was so soft... "Nothing special happened. I learned couple new moves and practiced relaxing. I need it if... you know..." I stopped brushing and sighed. Demon inside me was unpredictable. I needed to train hard, so he wouldn't hurt anyone. "Níko?" "Sorry, I just... It's hard. But I'm trying." "I know." I heard from Lonàn's voice that he was smiling his gently smile. "I know you are." "I'm sorry." "You don't need to be. It's in the past." "I still am." Lonàn turned around smiling at me gently, and put his hand to my shoulder. "You weren't yourself back then. And nothing happened to me, I was just worried about you. It's amazing you didn't got scars about that." Lonàn said, stroking my cheek little bit with his fingers. They were also soft... I blushed and looked away. "Mm, it's because my demon blood... My mom doesn't get scars either. They heal fast too." "That's a thing I'm jealous about, have to admit." Lonàn snorted a bit. That made me smile. He always knew how to make me smile. "It's getting late. Should we sleep?" "Mm, sounds good." I was tired after all traveling so sleeping would be good, or at least resting. I still wanted to talk with Lonàn... Be with him a bit longer like this.

I sighed as I laid down to soft mattress stretching a little. It sure was nice to finally relax and be home. Home? Well... I looked Lonàn's back as he braided his hair and gasped. "Don't..." Word escaped my lips and it made me blush. "Hm? 'Don't' what?" "Your hair... I would like to... If you braid it I can't..." It was embarrassing, but all Lonàn did was smile again and opened his hair then before coming next to me. "You're silly, you know that?" "Yeah, I know... I'm just shy about these things." Lonàn snickered a bit. "You're cute, Níko." "Don't tease me...!" "But you are, it's the truth." "Noooo...." I leaned to Lonàn and hide my red face at his shoulder as he laughed gently. "I'll stay here if you tease me." I muffled from against Lonàn's shoulder. "I don't complain, you are warm and smell good." "I borrowed your shampoo..." "Ah, well no wonder then." "That's narcissist." "No, it's the truth. I only use shampoo's which smell good." "Well, can't argue with that." I said backing away from Lonàn,   looking him then with sigh. He was beautiful... How was it even possible to be that beautiful? And not just from outside, his soul was as beautiful, if not ever more. He had his dark past, but it still had made him beautiful and strong. Lonàn looked me and raised his brows a bit. "What?" "Everything." "That's a big answer." "I just have a lot in my mind..." I sighed closing my eyes, as I reached my hand to Lonàn's soft hair, starting to caress it carefully. "Mm... You want to talk about it?" "Maybe sometime, but not now. I just... want to be here. Is it okay?" "Of course it is. You don't be so careful around me, you know?" "I'm not careful..." "Yes, you are. Tense too. We have known already some time, so you really don't need to, you know." I blushed and looked down biting my lip. "... I just..." I sighed deeply. "I feel that I'm getting so much more from you than I can give to you." "What do you mean?" "I don't want you to feel that I'm using you. I always come to you when I'm feeling bad or need company or wise words, and... I can't give anything to you." "Don't be silly." Lonàn said as he turned to get better look at me. "I like your company and I like to talk to you. And you always bring me tea and cookies. It's cute." "I feel like it's nothing... You give me so much and I just... I don't want you to feel like... Like I..." "Níkolaus, I don't feel like our relationship is anything like that." "You don't know what I was going to say." "Yes I do. I don't feel like prostitute when I'm with you." I felt how embarrassment rise to tip of my ears as I turned red from my face. "I didn't--" "Yes, you did." Lonàn snorted, bringing his hand caress my hair. "It's nothing like that. I enjoy your company, Níko. I wouldn't let you even stay if I felt like you were just using me. Yes, I made a mistake that it was like that when we firt met, but I don't think like that anymore. I know you don't want me like that. Please, believe me." "Of course I do believe you, I'm sorry that I doubt it..." "Only thing you doubt here is yourself, Níko. You don't need to do that. You are handsome, kind and all the way lovely person. I like your company, and I like you." Lonàn smiled and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I almost started crying. Maybe Lonàn was actually an angel. I reached my hand around Lonàn and hugged him tightly, as I felt how Lonàn continued stroking my hair. His fingers felt good as they slide back and forth, up and down, slowly... It felt so good... Calming... It made me so happy, almost euphoric.

After a while, I opened my eyes and saw Lonàn looking at me, surprising me a bit. "Sorry, I thought you were sleep already..." He whispered. I shook my head. "I was in my thoughts..." "Were they good thoughts?" "I don't know... I'm a bit sad in general. Maybe it's something that I can't ever change." "Are you sad now?" I looked at Lonàn and felt how my eyes teared up again. Why he was so kind to me? I shook my head tough I felt tears my cheeks. "No, I'm happy... I'm always really happy when I can be with you, Lonàn." "Then why are you crying again, Níko?" Lonàn laughed a bit, wiping tears from my face and eyes. "Because I'm so happy... I can't even express it with words. I think I never can." "Can you show it, then?" Lonàn asked, tilting his head to me.

I breathed deep couple of times, leaning then against Lonàn looking him to his eyes, like asking permission to come even closer. He raised his hand in my cheek and nod, as he looked me gently, and I felt my warm trembling breath against Lonàn's lips just before I kissed him. We had shared kisses before too; small and some deeper ones too, when Lonàn tried to calm me down. It always helped me if I was feeling blue. But now I wanted to show him how I felt. I wanted to give all my feelings to him...! Lonàn's mint lips felt soft and I couldn't help myself when I licked them a little before kissing him again, yawing top of him. It was a long time since I had feel something like that. Wanting to be close to someone and show them how I felt... How I loved them.

I breathed deep as I saw Lonán blushing little, but he didn't look away from me, as I looked him with my misty eyes "Are you sure, that you want me to show you how happy you make me?" I whispered. Lonàn smiled caressing my face, lowering his fingers then from my neck to chest. "I never tough you felt this way... But you are, aren't you?" "I can’t tell my feelings enough with words." I admitted. "I must ask you, are you sure...? What about Elýon? I don't want you to feel bad about this later." I shook my head and kissed Lonàn's cheek gently. "I will tell him, but I can't feel bad about something that feels so right..." Lonàn smiled and hugged me. "If you are sure..." "If you are...? I don't want you to feel like..." "I don't. You couldn't make me feel like that ever, Níko. I said it before." "Even if we have sex?" "Even if we have sex." Lonàn smiled gently. "I can't say it lightly myself, but... You love me, right?" I nodded to him shyly. "Then there is your answer." Warmness fulfilled me, and I knew... I knew that that's how I could show Lonàn how I felt.

Lonàn's gasps were warm. I wanted to touch him more and more, but I wanted him to feel my feeling all the way from the beginning. I had never saw Lonàn blush like that and it made butterflies dance in my stomach. He was so beautiful without clothes, a bit out of breath and warm from small sweating. Lonàn's voice trembled and his fingers were shivering as he pulled my hair, as I made him feel even more and more good. I shivered from pleasure myself as he called my name between his moans. I didn't knew why I didn't feel shy at all. Everything just felt so right and something that was meant to be. I wanted to make Lonàn feel as good as he made me always feel... I wanted him to know how I felt when he smiled to me, laughed with me or touched me. I loved all that, and I loved Lonàn. Even if he never could say same to me, I didn't want to lie to him or myself. I loved him. I loved him so much...! And finally... Finally Lónan knew... He knew how he made me feel.

He didn't pull himself away from me all night, sleeping next to me until the morning. When I woke up, he smiled at me happily as a first thing when we woke up. That was the best answer I could have ever got to my confession.

[pineappleplays]

My antidote

It hurt so much...! Why did he need to be like this? Why he loved pain and destroying? Why did he had to make things with my body? I hated it! Hated it!

My heart raced as I tried to breath steadily, but it was hard with my heart beating so loudly in my chest. I didin't want him to come again and ruin everything. I didn't want him to hurt someone I love! Elýon... It was just his job, it didn't mean anything. It didin't mean anything if he hold someone other's hand or flirted with them. Kissed them... It was just his job! Not again! I don't want to hurt him again because of my stupid jelaousy! 'Never fall in love with a curtisan', that's something I have heard long time ago from stories. They were so right... Oh, how they were. I needed something else to think. I needed something... Someone... One name came to my mind. His gently smile and warm laugh. His skin was so pale, but his hands were the warmest and most safe place to be, when I felt like this. Sadness, anger, jelaousy... They all went away when I was with him. I loved Elýon more than anything, but I loved him too much. He was like drug or poison I was hooked on, and he again always knew how to remove that poison. He was like my antidote... I needed him. I needed him now more than ever. Lónan. My chest was about to brust open from pain. I felt the dark chi flow in me, and heard His thoughts. 'Take him, hurt him, he is yours... Not anyone elses. He's yours. Yours! Make it sure to him! He needs you the most... He's yours!' "No!" I shouted out loud and almost fell to my knees. I was so close already. Just a little more and I could be with him. My healer, my antidote... Lónan. Lónan...!

"Lónan!" I cried when I fell at his door. I couldn't knock. I had to stay focused, since I didn't want Him to come out. He couldn't! "...Níkolaus...?" It was distand voice, but it was warm. Full of worry, but warm. I felt how warm hands got me up and walked me to inside. "Níko? Níko!? Are you alright? What happened?" Lónan asked as he helped me to sit. It started to be clear again... A bit. "It's Him...!" "Who?" "I'm so angry...! And sad...! I saw Elýon and he... I didin't want to see that ever again! I don't want to hurt him!" "Oh... Oh, Níko, it's alright now, breath..." I heard from Lónan's voice that he understood what was wrong. He had never saw Him, but I had told him everything. I didn't ever remembered much about those episodes, but I knew they were bad. Elýon was always hurt after them, and I knew he didn't tell me everything. I just knew... "It hurts so much...!" I cried as I felt Lónan's hands landing around me. My chest was pounding so hard, I felt it against Lónan's body as he hugged me warmly. My antidote... "I'm here with you now. You will be okay, Níko." He whispered, and started to caress my neck with his fingers softly. I felt better... 'Take him. Show Elýon that you can do it do.' No... 'Take him. Make him yours. Yours alone.' No...! 'You need him. Need him the most. Take him and make him yours!' Yes... Yes. He was right. I needed my antidote to be always with me, so I could have him always when I needed him. Elýon's doings would not hurt me again, when Lónan would be with me always. "Níko? You feel better?" I heard Lónan asking, when I straightened my back and stood up. I didn't have fangs like Him, I needed something... Something to make him bleed. Something sharp. I started walking to the kitchen, and heard how Lónan shut the door behind me. I felt how confused he was, but was that a suprise? "Níko, what are you doing with that?" I head Lónan ask, when I came to kitchen after me, and saw me with sharp knife which was on the table. "Please put that down, Níko. There's no need to that now." "I will make you mine." "What?" Voice wasn't mine anymore, it was His. I felt how He started to be more and more present, but still it was me. 'Do it. Mark him. Hurt him! Make him yours!' I turned around and looked Lónan coldly. Lónan froze as he looked me in to the eyes. One of His powers... I saw Lónan's breath starting to steam as it get cold in the room. "I... will make you mine. So you will always be with me." "Níko, you're not yourself...! Calm down." "I'm calm." "But you are not yourself." I took steps closer to Lónan, as he stepped away from me. I saw that he trempled a little. There wouldn't be anyone to help him, or to stop me to making him mine. My antidote... Would be always with me.

Lónan stumbled and fell on the floor on his back, as he was focused on me, and tripped to carpet's edge. "Ugh! Níko, please!" I heard him shout, as I fell on my knees atop of him and raised the knife. There he was. Trembling and his breath steaming. He breathed fast as he feared. Fear... Fear was good... It was good from him to fear me. With that, he sure would stay with me. My medicine, my anditode... My Lónan. 'Do it. Cut his neck, like I did to Elýon. Do it and I will mark him. Make him yours. Make him to be with you. Make him fear you.' Fear... me? I gulped a bit and gasped fast. Lónan was afraid of me. Me...! I... No, that was not right...! Lónan was always helping me when I felt sad and was with me when I was happy too. Lónan was always there. He was always with me already. I didn't want him to be afraid of... me. 'Do it!' "No!" "Níko...?" "I'm sorry... I'm sorry Lónan...! It's Him. He wants me to..." 'What are you waiting for!? Hurt him! Make him yours!' "No! Lónan does not need to be mine! He has enough heart to give everyone!" "Níkolaus!?" I looked Lónan who looked me with worry and fear. He was scared, but... Not because of himself. Because of me. I felt how tears fell on to my cheeks. So stupid... I gasped and raised the knife. I felt blood's warmness and I heard Lónan shout. Blood felt warm on my cheeks and chest, as it painted my white suit red. I started to feel dizzy when the pain came after blood. My arm hurt, and also my face, as I cut myself. "Go away!" I heard myself scream. "Leave me alone you demon! I don't want you! I don't need you!" "Níkolaus!!" "Don't!" I heard myself screaming to Lónan, as he grabbed my hand which was holding the knife. "Don't! I don't want to hurt you!" "Níko... Mph--!" I felt Lónan's breath close to my face just before I felt his soft and mint lips against mine own, as he started to caress my lips gently. "Mhh..." It felt good. I felt how Him started to pull Himself back, starting to fade away slowly. As slowly, as Lónan's arms raised to my shoulder and cheeck, starting to caress it gently. There it was again... It haven't got this bad ever before, but there it was again. My medicine was here again... My purest antidote... Lónan held me close to him as I leaned towards him more. I felt his warmness around me and I felt his scent around me. It was safe... I was safe again. Lónan pulled away little, looking me in the eyes as he still caressed my bleeding cheeck. He smiled little when he saw I was myself again. I was shaking. "You see?" Lónan whispered, as he breathed warm air on to my lips. "I'm here... I'm already yours. It's true that I have heart to share to many, but you're there too. You are here with me, Níko... Let me be with you. Let me heal you." Lónan whispered, as I started to cry again. I looked Lónan and gasped a bit as I finally dropped the knife and hugged him tightly, starting to cry loudly against his shoulder. "I'm so sorry...! Lónan I'm sorry! I almost...!" "Shh, it's okay... Just calm down now... It's okat now. You are here with me..." "I didn't want to hurt you...!" "I know... Calm down. I'm here, and I'm fine. I got scared, but I'm fine." I raised my head and kissed Lónan. I was sorry... So sorry...! I felt Lónan kissing me back, and I felt my face blush a little. Lónan's kisses were... He pulled himself back gently and sighed deeply. "We need you clean you up and cover your wounds. Then we can talk what happened, okay? I will make tea." "Mm... O-okay." "Good... Can you walk?" "I think so..."

There was a reason why Lónan was imporant to me. Sure, I can admit that I had a crush on him, but more than that, he was my savior. I don't know why he wanted always to help me, but I owned my life to him. I hoped that He wouldn't show up in a long time after this. I would need start more training, so I could keep him away from situations like this. Sometimes even if I would be poisoned, there would not be medicine around. And even if it would be, it would end soon if thingsl ike this would happen often. I did not want my medicine to end. I didn't want to use my anditode wrong.

I wanted to be with Lónan and keep him in my life as long as possible.

[pineappleplays]

I NEED YOU

It was late already, when there was a sharp knock in Lónan’s door.

Qvantum raised his eyebrows and looked at the door, feeling the warm teacup in his hands in the same time. ”Who could it be? This kind of hour…” Lónan shrugged and stood up, leaving his own steaming tea at the table. ”It can be someone who needs help, I’ll go and check.” ”Mm, scream if you need help.” ”I can scream to you later~” Lónan winked to Qvan who blushed a little, going to get the door then. It was warm night and Lónan felt a gentle wind when he opened the door, facing then crying Níkolaus. His face was all swollen and eyes were red ’cause of crying. ”Níko? Oh dear…!” Lónan put his hand on Níko’s forehead groping his hair away from his face. ”What happened? Are you okay?” Níkolaus whimpered as he just leaned against Lónan clinging to his shirt. ”Lónan…! I need you…!” ”Oh, Níko, it’s okay… shhh… It’s okay. Please, come inside. Qvan is here, so don’t get scared…” ”He is? I don’t want to bother…!” Níkolaus let out hiccups. ”You never bother me.” Lónan said, as he took Níkolaus inside. ”Do you want some tea? I just made some…” Níkolaus nodded and came behind Lónan to the kitchen, looking then Qvan and bowed to him. ”Sorry to bother…” ”Don’t mention it, you seem like to need some tea and someone to talk to.” ”Mmh…” Níko nodded and bit his lower lip as he was about to cry again. Qvan pulled a chair to Níko so he would sit down, as he did too. ”Here’s a tissue.” Qvan said putting one in front of crying young man, who nodded and took it to his hands, sniffling as he waited his tea to be ready. ”Here you go. I got it from Áyran, she made it herself. Bless that woman.” Lónan smiled as he sat down again, looking Níko frowning his brows. ”It’s okay… Drink your tea and tell us what’s wrong when you are ready.” Níko nodded, but looked still a bit awkward. Qvan knew it was because of him, and he drank his tea and stood then up. ”Maybe I come back at morning.” ”Mm? You sure?” Lónan asked and came to Qvan. ”Yeah, maybe it better if you two talk alone. I know how it is…” ”Mm, thank you. I walk you to the door.” Níkolaus looked as two men walked to hallway, and listened how they wished good night and shared a little kiss. It made Níko cry again. What if he couldn’t get that ever again…? When Lónan came back to his crying friend, he sighed and sat down next to him, putting his hand down to Níkolaus’ shoulder. ”Shh… Just let it all out… That’s right… … Can you tell me what happened?” Níkolaus shivered from crying so much and gulped a bit before sighing deep. ”Elýon… We… Elýon and I… We have a same father.” Lónan raised his thin eyebrows. ”What? Really? Are you sure?” ”He has a same name and to be honest, Caelestiel and Elýon do look a like a lot.” ”Oh… Oh.” Lónan didn’t know what to say. He knew what had happened with Níko’s big brother, but Elýon was not nothing like that… ”I’m sorry, dear. But… you love him, don’t you?” ”It’s insest! I do NOT want that!” Níkolaus shouted lowering his head. ”I don’t… I can’t…” ”Níkolaus…” Lónan looked younger male as he cried. His heart sure was broken, he saw that. ”Lónan… Why I can’t be happy? Why something that I really love has always to end to something like this?” ”It’s not like that…” ”I sure feels like it. First Ynos, then Bén and now Elýon too. Why? Why it’s not okay to someone to me be happy!?” ”Níko, calm down. I’m sure you can think of something. Elýon didn’t even knew his dad, you have told me that. So basically he’s not your brother at all.” ”We still have same blood in our veins. And what’s worst it’s from my dad’s side. I hate my dad.” Lónan sighed looking Níko. ”I think it would be good to you a rest a little… Drink your tea first, would be shame to put good tea to waste.” Níko sniffled and nodded, starting to drink his tea slowly. It was good… Tasted like homemade, like Lónan said it was. Home… When did he last even visited home? It seemed to be so long ago… But only one who missed him was Diana, his mother. Not a word from his dad or older brothers. Told a lot about them… But Lónan. Lónan cared for him. It made Níko always so happy when he thought about Lónan and his gentleness. Lónan was like an angel… ”You done? Come on then…”

Lónan’s bedroom was comfy. It was dark but still gentle looking room, where was good to sleep. Níko knew that, as he was slept there couple time before too. ”I give you something to sleep with…” ”Thank you…” ”This could be okay.” Lónan gave big soft shirt to Níko and younger male nodded taking off his Blue Porcelain outfit, putting on the comfy shirt. It smelt like Lónan… Lónan took off his own Noble outfit and stretched long time before sitting down the bed. He put too a big shirt on. He could take it away afterwords. Níkolaus sighed and layed down to his side, looking Lónan then with his blue eyes like a puppy who asked petting. ”I can’t say no to those eyes. You are so cute, Níkolaus.” Lónan smiled and came to lay next to Níko, who blushed to compliment. ”Don’t say that… It’s embarrassing.” ”Still? But you should know it already…” Lónan said, as he started to stroke Níko’s hair gently. It felt good, but made Níko sad again. What if he couldn’t feel this again from Elýon ever again? Elýon was so gentle and funny and smart… He was everything Níkolaus could ask for, but now… Níko started sobbing again out of nowhere. ”Oi, oi, oi… Níkolaus dear…” Lónan sighed and pulled Níko against him, and Níko put his arms around Lónan. ”I just want to be loved, Lónan… Why it is so hard? Is it really too much to be asked?” ”But you are loved, Níkolaus. You are… Caelestial loves you, Elýon sure does loves you, I love you… You are not alone, Níkolaus. I know you’re upset because of Elýon but you should consider that you two really love each other, and that’s only what matters.” ”I can’t love someone who’s related to me. It’s just wrong…!” ”It’s not wrong if you two can talk about it through. You can’t think straight right now, so it would be good to sleep first.” Lónan was so nice and gentle. He knew what to say and he loved everyone equally. Níko sobbed and hugged Lónan tighter. ”Hold me… Please, hold me, Lónan…” ”I hold you, don’t worry…” ”I need you… I really do…” ”I’m here, I won’t go anywhere. Don’t wor-- Níko?” Níkolaus leaned against Lónan and kissed his neck gently. ”I need you…” ”Níko… Mhm…” Níko kissed Lónan’s neck again. He smelled nice… safe. Níko’s hand started to rise Lónan’s shirt from the back, and his thin fingers caressed other male’s soft skin. ”Hold me, Lónan…” ”Mmh… Níko… You don’t need me this way, Níko…” ”I do.” Níko gasped desperately. ”No, you don’t. I can hold you, but you don’t need this from me.” ”If you can’t give it to me, who can? Everyone who loves me is related to me. I can’t have sex with my brothers.” ”You already have, Níko. Elýon is your half brother, you wanted it or not, and you have had sex with him already. Many times, if I’m right.” ”Please don’t…” ”I’m not trying to hurt you with this, Níkolaus. You just need to understand, that this is not what you need right now, and it’s something you don’t need from me. You’ve said it from the beginning. When we first met. You remember?” Of course Níko remember. Lónan asked what Níko could pay to him, and Níko didn’t even knew back then that Lónan was a hooker. Níkolaus sighed warm breath against Lónan’s neck and looked him with teary eyes. ”I’m sorry…” ”It’s okay, I understand how you feel… It’s alright to cry too, if you want to.” Níkolaus nodded and sniffed, hugging Lónan then tightly again. ”I can give you a kiss, if it helps?” ”It would be nice.” Níkolaus nodded, and raised his head a little. Lónan leaned little bit to him, looking Níko’s teary blue eyes, as he gave a small peck to Níkolaus’ lips. It felt good. Lónan was so warm and kind. Gentle… He was something Níkolaus wished his older brothers would be, but they were always just laughed at him. Lónan would never laugh to him. Never…! ”Lónan…” Níkolaus said softly to the silence, as Lónan caressed his neck. ”Mm?” ”You know… You know; you’re more big brother to me, than my any of my big brothers have ever been.” ”Am I now?” Lónan smiled as being pleased from Níko’s words. ”I’m happy to hear that.” ”I just wanted you to know it… … I love you, Lónan.” ”Me too, Níko. Sleep now, okay?” ”Mm… … Lónan?” ”Yes?” ”Can you hold me until I can sleep?” ”I will hold you all night, if you want.” ”I do want that, thank you.” ”Of course, love…” Lónan watched Níkolaus as the younger male fall to sleep from exhaustion. He sure had cry a lot even before coming over… Older male stroked Níko’s hair until he fell asleep and sighed then closing his own eyes. It would be good to sleep after something like this. Sleep was always a good medicine. It would be always be new day when they wake up. Then everything would come together again.

[pineappleplays]

Uusi koti

"Tule nyt, sinun on tavattava äiti! Nyt vihdoin ja viimein kun olet samassa kaupungissa." Dian hymyili kun käveli ystävänsä kanssa kohti hänelle jo tuttua rakennusta. Hän oli vieraillut Äidin ja Isän luona jo pari kertaa heidän uudessa asunnossaan, jonka nuo olivat rakentaneet mentyään vihille. "Olet aina niin innoissasi kun puhut hänestä. Onko Äiti tosiaan niin ihana?" "Et arvaakaan." Dia hymyili hieman silmänsä sirrissä, kun pääsi lopultakin koputtamaan rantahuvilan ovea, korjaten sitten hieman asunsa puuhkaa paremmin. He olivat juuri saaneet uudet puvut, ja Dia halusi varsinkin näyttää äidille uutta asuaan. Ovi aukesi hetken päästä, mutta Dia joutui kohottamaan leukaansa vieläkin ylemmäs kuin oli ajatellut, koska avaaja oli Ivan. "Oho! Hei isä, tulin kylään!" Dia ilmoitti, vetäen kättään lippaan samalla isolle Gon miehelle. Ivanin jörömäinen perusilme suli hymyyn tuon nähdessä Dian. Tuo oli kuin pikkulintu aamutuimaan, pirteä ja täynnä iloa. "Miten mukava nähdä, Diaspro. Pitkästä aikaa. Kuka on ystäväsi?" "Tässä om Celía, mutta häntä voi kutsua Siljaksi." Ivan katsoi Dian ystävää ja ymmärtäväinen hymy nousi tuon kasvoille, nyökäten tuolle sitten. "Hauska tutusta, Celía. Olen kuullut sinusta paljon." Isä ei tulisi koskaan kutsumaan tuota Siljaksi, eihän hän Diaakaan kutsunut lempinimellä. Hän kunnioitti naisia ja halusi kutsua noita noiden syntymänimillä. "Hauska tutustua. Vai paljon? Toivottavasti hyvää." Nuori nainen vastasi katsellen Isää silmät suurina ja kulmat kohonneina ja narahti hieman. Tuo oli niin pitkä ja iso. "Olet syönyt aamupuurosi, huomaan." Isä naurahti hieman laskien kätensä lanteilleen. "Niin on tullut tehtyä." "Onko Äiti kotona?" Dia kysyi väliin. "Áyran? Näin viimeksi aamulla... Olisikohan hän puutarhassa?" Dia nyökkäsi hymyillen. "Selvä! Kierrämme sinne takakautta. Tule, Silja." Dia viittoi nuoren naisen mukaansa, joka nyökkäsi tuolle ja tuli sitten perässä. "Hän on valtava...!" "Eikö olekin? Hän pystyy kannattelemaan minua yhdellä kädellä!" Dia kikatti hieman innoissaan. Isän kämmenellä oli hauska tanssia.

Puutarha oli täynnä yrttejä ja hyötykasveja, ja niiden tuoksu kantautui talon nurkalle. Ne kasvoivat täällä hyvin, mutta olikos se ihme. Ne olivat hyvässä huomassa. Áyran hyräili itsekseen kun leikkeli yrttejä, joista kuivattaisi teetä. Tuo oli aivan omissa maailmoissaa kyykistellessään kukkapenkin reunalla. Dia nosti sormensa huulilleen katsoen Siljaa, ja hiipi sitten Áyranin taakse hiljaa, peittäen sitten tuon silmät. "Arvaa kuka?" Áyran yllättyi, mutta alkoi hymyillä hellästi ja laski kätensä Dian käsille silittäen niitä. "Pikkulintuseni..." Áyran henkäisi kääntyen ympäri ja vetä sitten Dian halaukseensa, silittäen tuon päälakea hellästi. "Voi pikku kultaseni, miten ihana nähdä. Kuinka olet voinut?" "Ihana nähdä sinuakin, ihan hyvin. Toin viimeinkin vierailulle--" "Dia." Áyran sanoi sitten tiukasti, samalla kun nousi ylös. "No? Mitä nyt?" "Mitä sinulla on päälläsi? Se on ihana, mutta puuhka peittää aivan kokonaan muotosi." Áyran henkäisi jopa huolissaan, alkaen korjailla hieman Dian asua niin, että tuon kaunis rintavarustus saatiin esiin. "Muista pukea arvosi mukaan, olet upea pikku lintuseni." Ainakin Äiti oli huomannut uuden puvun, kuten Dia oli halunnutkin. "Haha, tiedän äiti." Dia hymyili pudistellen hieman päätään Äidin huolestuneelle katseelle. "Muistan kyllä. Niin, toin ystävän..." "Hm? A-! Aivan, haha..." Áyran hymyili ystävällisesti Celíalle, tullen sitten tuon luokse ja otti tuota kädestä hellästi molemmilla käsillään, kumartuen alemmas. Pitkä, Celía ajatteli, katsoen naista silmiin lopulta. "Miten ihana tavata lintuseni ystäviä, miten voit? Olet Áyran. Voi miten kaunis sinä olet..." Gon nainen henkäisi, sipaisten hellästi Celían päälakea ja poskea. Tuo sai nuoren naisen punastumaan ja hämmentymään. Kaunis? Eihän nainen, Äiti, tietänyt edes hänen nimeään. "Olen Celía. Hauska tutustua! Kauniista nyt tiedä, mutta kiitos, rouva--" "Ehei, vaikka rouva olenkin, niin kutsu minua Áyraniksi tai Äidiksi. "Ah, selvä, r- Áyran." "Ei se mitään. Vai sinä olet Celía. On kunnia tavata sinut vihdoinkin. Dia on puhunut sinusta paljon." Nainen hymyili katsoen Diaa. "Missä muuten tutustuitte?" "Etkö muista kun kerroin? Tapasin Siljan Bamboo Villagessa, kun olimme nuorempia. Hän näytti hieman eksyneeltä joten kysyin silloin voinko auttaa." "Ystävällinen pikkulintuni." Áyran nyökkäsi, katsoen Siljaa. "Silja, siis... Mistä muuten tulet, pikkuiseni?" Celía katseli molempia hetken aikaa, kääntäen katseensa sitten pois hiljaisena, tuhahtaen. Miten hän pääsisi tästä, olematta tyly? Hänellä oli tapana sanoa asiat hieman töksäyttäen ja suoraan, ja se luettiin usein koppavuutena. Dia koski Áyranin käsivartta hellästi. "Silja ei ole ihan valmis vielä puhumaan siitä ehkä sinulle." Nainen katsoi pikkulintuaan ja nyökkäsi sitten hymyillen. "Ymmärrän, jokainen me tulemme jostain." Celía katsoi Àyrania, joka nousi takaisin ylös, hämmentyneenä ja kulmiaan kohottaen. Eikö tuo tuomitsisi sitä ettei hän halunnut kertoa? Se oli uutta. Dia hymyili Siljalle kädet selkänsä takana tietäväisesti. Siksi hän oli halunnutkin, että tuo tapaisi Äidin. Äiti oli ymmärtäväinen ja kiltti kaikille, riippumatta siitä mistä nuo olivat kotoisin ja millaisia nuo olivat. Tuo näki kaikissa hyvää. Olihan Áyran kasvanut itse vähemmistössä lapsuutensa ja nuoruutensa. "Tuletteko sisälle? Lapsilla alkaa olla ruoka-aika myös." "Lapsilla?" Silja kysyi, katsoen Áyrania jälleen. "Äiti ja Isä antavat lapsien ja muiden suojaa kaipaavien nukkua täällä, jos heillä ei ole paikkaa mihin mennä. Lähinnä täällä on Lyn lapsia." Dia kertoi innoissaan. Olihan Áyran ottanut hänetkin siipiensä suojiin, kun oli päättänyt lopettaa työnsä ilolintuna. Siipiensä tosiaan, Silja ajatteli, katsoen hymyilevää Gon naista. Tuo taisi olla oikeasti enkeli... "Juotteko teetä tai kahvia?" "Teetä, mutta Silja pitää kahvista." "Osaan minä itsekin sen kertoa, Dia." Dia hymyili hieman pahoittelevasti, johon Áyran nyökkäsi tietäväisesti. Hänkin piti, vaikkei sitä usein juonutkaan. Siitä tuli niin kamalan energinen olo, ettei hän osannut keskittyä.

Cecíl ja Dia jäivät auttamaan Áyrania ja Isää loppupäiväksi lasten kanssa, ja puhuivat myös Dian kuulumisia. Celía kuunteli kolmikon puhumista mielellään, samalla kun lapset leikkivät heidän ympärillään. Pitkästä aikaa, hänestä tuntui, että oli jossain, mitä voisi ehkä kutsua joskus kodiksi.

[pineappleplays]

Lintu ja Aurinko

"Huhuu? Ketään kotona?" Lónan huuteli puisen talon terassilta. Talo oli juuri valmistunut ja se suorastaan kiilteli uututtaan. Se oli tuoreen parin ensimmäinen yhteinen koti. Sisältä kuului lasten naurua, kun ovi lopultakin tultiin avaamaan. Oven avasi Gon-nainen, Áyran nimeltään, jonka hymyn kanssa aurinko loisti kilpaa, kun tuo näki tulijan.

"Lónan! Voi miten ihana nähdä pitkästä aikaa, tule sisälle ihmeessä. Lapset, teillä on leikkiaika! Menää ulos, mutta älkää liian kauas." "Selvä, äiti!" Pienet Lynit huusivat ja juoksivat Lónanin ohi ulos ovesta nauraen edelleen.

Nuorukainen huokaisi syvään ja laski aseensa eteiseen, ennen kuin asteli peremmälle. Täällä hän ei sitä tarvitsisi. Keittiöstä kantautui leivonnaisten tuoksu, minne hän seurasi pitkää ja siroa naista. Pitkät valkoiset hiukset oli sidottu sivulle ponihännälle pois tieltä, kun tuo hääräili ruoan parissa. "Hei isukki, miten menee?" Iso Gon-mies murahti ruokapöydän äärestä iso kirja edessään ja nosti hieman katsettaan tulijanuorukaiseen. "Käyttäydy niin saat jäädä." "Mitääää? Ainahan minä käyttäydyn." Lónan naurahti tutulle jöröydelle. "Niin, huonosti." "Ivan, hän on vieraamme." Áyran sanoi hellästi sipaisten samalla miehen olkapäätä, jolloin mies mutisi jotain punastuen pienesti, ja jatkoi sitten lukemistaan. "Istu, kultaseni." Áyran ohjeisti Lónania ja alkoi kattaa pöytää. Kolme teekuppia ja pientä lautasta. Lapset saisivat jälkiruokaa myöhemmin. "Kiitos... Mitä paistat?" "Teen vähän kaikenlaista. Toivon joskus että olisin itse uuni, niin voisin valmistaa enemmän samaan aikaan." Áyran naurahti, samalla kun Lónanin suulle kaartui virne. "Tuollaiseen uuniin minäkin pistäisin pullani." "Senkin hupsu, syöhän nyt." Áyran naurahti, taputtaen samalla Ivania, joka kohotti katseensa vihaisesti nuorukaiseen, olkapäälle hellästi, kun kaatoi sitten Lónanin kuppiin teetä. Hän oli itse valmistanut teen puutarhan erilaisista yrteistä ja kukista, asettaen sitten vielä juuri uunista ottamiaan leivonnaisia tarjottimella pöydälle. "Mitä sinulle kuuluu? Et ole käynyt aikoihin." Nainen kysyi hellästi, kun istui Ivanin vierelle toiselle puolelle pöytää, ottaen isoa miestä kädestä kiinni hellästi, että tuo rauhoittuisi. Lónan vain kiusoitteli, tuo tiesi sen kyllä. Niin Ivan tiesikin, mutta Áyran oli hänen vaimonsa ja hän oli kovin suojelevainen tuota kohtaan. "No jaa, sitä samaa. Kiertelen ja kaartelen siellä ja täällä." "Kuinka monta sydäntä olet särkenyt sinä aikana?" "Ivan..." "Tunteilla ei saisi leikkiä." Iso mies murahti. Hän sen tiesi, olihan hän ollut yksinäinen jo pidemän aikaa, ennen kuin oli tavannut Áyranin. Áyran huokaisi ja meinasi sanoa jotain, kun katoi sitten nuorukaista edessään, joka oli unohtunut katselemaan teekupissaan pyöriviä pieniä yrttejä vakavana. "Ivan... Menisitkö katsomaan missä lapset leikkivät?" Nainen kysyi katsoen miestä vierellään. Mies katsoi ensin kielteinen katse kasvoillaan vaimoaan, mutta huokaisi sitten. Eihän tuolle pyytävälle katseelle voinut sanoa ei. Niin Ivan nousi ja lähti pöydästä ulos. Jos Áyran kerran niin toivoi...

Áyran sulki hitaasti kirjan mitä mies oli lukenut, laittaen siihen kirjanmerkin, ja siirsi sen sitten sivuun katsoen sitten uudelleen nuorukaista, joka istui edelleen hiljaisena. "Onko ollut vaikeaa?" "En ehkä sanoisi vaikeaa..." Lónan henkäisi heti. Tunnelma oli helpottunut heti hieman, kun "isä" oli poistunut. "Äidin" kanssa oli helpompi puhua kaksin. "Mutta melko mäkistä tietä olen kulkenut." "Niin, silloin yleensä pysähdyt luokseni lepäämään hetkeksi." "Niin... No... Niin." Nuorukainen hiljentyi hetkeksi jälleen, ottaen sitten tarjottimelta leivonnaisen ja söi siitä palasen. Áyranin leivonnaiset eivät pettäneet koskaan... "Mm... Hänen nimensä on--" "Ei sinun tarvitse kertoa kenen kanssa olet ollut, se ei ehkä olisi reilua heitäkään kohtaan välttämättä." Nainen sanoi nostaen hellästi kätensä ylös, ottaen sitten hymähdyksen myötä itsekin yhden leivonnaisen eteensä, puhdistaen hieman sormiaan sokerista lautaselle, ennen kuin katsoi toista taas lempeästi. "Tapahtuiko jotain ikävää?" "Ei oikeastaan. En vain... Voi, voi. En tahtoisi tuottaa kenellekään pettymystä, mutta tunnethan sinä minut; en osaa pysyä paikoillani. Ei lintua voi sitoa maahan, kun sillä on koko taivas avoinna missä olla ja elää." Áyran nyökkäsi hitaasti. "Niin, muiden tulisi ymmärtää se, ennen kuin antavat osan sielustaan sinulle." Áyranista rakkaus oli kuin sielunsa paljastamista toiselle. Kun oikein rakasti, pystyi toisen edessä olemaan täysin ilman ulkokuortaan. Koko sielullaan. Lónan nyökkäsi hitaasti. "Niin... Suurin osa heistä ei ymmärrä sitä. Ja siten aiheutin taas riitoja ja mustasukkaisuutta. En tahtoisi olla mikään pahan ilman lintu, tiedäthän?" Áyran hymyili hellästi ja laski kätensä nuorukaisen käden päälle silittäen sitä hieman. "Tiedän. Etkä sinä olekaan, kultaseni. Monet tuntevat sinut jo, ja heidän pitäisi kyllä tietää, ettei kurtisaaniin saa rakastua. Tai saa, mutta siinä on omat riskinsä." Lónan nielaisi, kun tunsi naisen käden omansa päällä. Äidin kosketus oli aina yhtä lämmin ja turvallinen.

Kun he olivat tavanneet, oli Lónan kohdellut Áyrania kuin ketä tahansa muutakin; flirttaillen ja kehuillen, kertoen tuolle vitsejä. Mutta pian Lónan oli huomannut, että Áyranilla oli silmää vain Ivanille, eikä kenellekään muulle. Se oli saanut hänet rentoutumaan; Áyran oli joku, joka hymyllään sulatti vahvimmatkin jäät. Näkihän se jo Ivanistakin. Gon-mies ei ollut ollut yhtä onnellinen pitkään aikaan, edes lapsien ympäröimänä. Nyt kun hänellä oli joku, jonka kanssa huolehtia lapsista, oli Ivan todella tyytyväinen elämäänsä, ja sen näki kauas.

"Sinä et ole paha, Lónan. Ei villiä lintua kukaan voi kesyttää." Lónan nosti katseensa kohdaten hellät keltaiset silmät, joissa paistoi suuri ymmärrys. Nuorukainen henkäisi syvään katsoen alaspäin, ja puristi naisen kättä omaansa, nyökäten lopulta ja niiskaisten hiljaa. "Kiitos, Áyran." "Ei kestä. Kaipaatko yösijaa?" Lónan pyyhkäisi silmiään ja kohotti hymyilevät kasvonsa naiseen. "Sellainen voisi olla mukava kyllä, kiitos." "Olehan hyvä, laitan vierashuoneen sinulle yöksi. Palkaksi voisit vaikka leikkiä lasten kanssa illalla pari tuntia." Lónan virnisti. "Onko suunnitelmia isukin kanssa?" "Enemmän kuin arvaatkaan." Áyran sanoi iskien silmäänsä ja hymähti hieman päälle ovelasti. Lónan purskahti vapautuneeseen nauruun. Äidistä ei kyllä koskaan arvannut, että tuollakin oli ilkikurisempi puoli itsessään.

Lónania ei voinut kahlita häkkiin, hän ei ollut häkkilintu, mutta tässä talossa hän viihtyi ja tunsi olonsa kotoisaksi. Hän oli kesylintu ainoastaan tuolle lempeälle naiselle, joka ei vaatinut häneltä kuin omana itsenään olemista.

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Áyran -  Force Master - Ebon Hall