Something that needed to be said
Last year, I came across a reblogged post on someone’s blog. I won’t reveal the usernames of the people involved, to protect their privacy, but regardless, I really wanted to address what the person on the reblogged post said.
The person whose post was reblogged said that they would never forgive their abusive ex-partner, and they didn’t give any details of what their ex-partner did to them. Nothing wrong with saying that. However, after saying that, they said that they hated anyone who said that ‘anger was poison’, and that they would never forgive their abuser, and that they also wanted other people to refuse to forgive their abusers, or other people who hurt them, too.
The problem with what the OP said is that it is inherently harmful to your physical and mental health to not forgive someone who has wronged you. Secondly, the OP doesn’t understand that forgiving someone does not mean that you accept their actions. Forgiveness does not equal to acceptance. Forgiveness only means to not be angry at the other person anymore. You can forgive someone and still take action against them to protect yourself and your loved ones. But OP didn’t even take that into account.
So, I’ll say this, addressing everyone who comes across my post: Anger is poison. It’s ok to feel angry at the moment that someone has wronged you. You can’t control what emotions come to you in the heat of the moment. That’s not something that will harm you in the long run. But what will harm you in the long run is never forgiving the person who wronged you for the rest of your life. Keeping that anger inside for the rest of your life will make you a bitter, vengeful person. It may cause you to become ill from the constant stress of holding a grudge against the ones who hurt you. You can forgive someone, and still stop them from hurting you or other people. But you can never live your whole life holding a grudge without eventually becoming a bitter person and falling ill from the stress of it.
The person who reblogged the post didn’t do anything wrong, though. They said they would forgive their abuser eventually, unlike OP. But let this be a warning to everyone who reads my post:
Forgive the people who have hurt you, regardless of what happened between you and them. Otherwise, your prolonged anger towards them will ruin you. That’s all there is to it.
