I had just finished a fourteen-hour shift at Los Cerritos Elementary School. I remembered that day very vividly because I had to be there at six in the morning to set up the voting machines. Normally I wouldn’t get up before six but I thought this could be an exceptional way to” give back to my community” even though they were the ones paying me to work this junior election. I had never payed much attention to the politics around me or even on the news. To be honest I just found them amusing, not to be rude or anything but it’s sort of comical in a way. What the news and politics have in common is the fact that they would inform their audience about a particular story but they would never reveal the truth behind it, sort of like a mystery. And that could be fun for you but I didn’t necessarily have the time for that. I’m simple. I don’t pay attention to anything that’s not going to help me in the future, you know what I’m saying? How is any of that going to benefit me later in life? Not stubborn just realistic.
But anyway, I get off from work and it's around three in the afternoon. I’m walking to my house on West Orange Avenue and I noticed that the sun was out and when I mean out I mean it was really out. I could literally feel the sun beaming hard on my back and I was shocked by the sun’s behavior that day. I lived in South San Francisco and the Bay Area is not known for its wondrous sunny days, it will never be known for that and if so I am waiting for that day because believe me it gets chilly over there. At this point all I want to do is lay on my twin mattress and listen to Ray LaMontagne. As soon as the music starts playing I received a text from Sita.
On my way with Tea and Joplin, let’s hang out.
Believe me I did not want to go. I was exhausted but it was a slow day and I had breaks so I thought why not hang out with them. I replied saying okay. I quickly gathered cash, debit card, and both identification cards. Sita drove a 2001 maroon Honda civic with an orange lining around her license plate because her family were huge Giants fans. It gets kind of annoying at times, the yelling and screaming but I came to the conclusion that all baseball fans were crazy and a little too excited to watch a team either score or not score a homerun. As you can clearly see baseball is not my thing.
Two honks and I’m out the door. I lived in a four-bedroom yellow house with the most down to earth roommates I have ever had. We were four independent young women putting ourselves through life. Every time I walked out of my house I felt liberated, free to do anything that I wanted and I did. I was nineteen at the time and shit I lived my life my way one day a time. Opened and closed doors of her car and we all just smiled to each other. There weren’t any HI’s with us four just smiles and always smiles because we knew what we were going to do.
“You guys wanna go to mission?” Joplin asked.
“Yeah I go there all the time and the people there are super chill.” Tea showed so much excitement in her smile, it was pleasant. It amazed me how excited we all get just to pick up.
By the way the term “pick up” refers to buying marijuana not just from dispensaries but from plugs as well which are drug dealers. Being from the Bay Area you can’t help but pick up the lingo so I apologize in advance if you can’t quite understand the terminology.
Sita parks her car in a small parking lot near Las Brisas seafood restaurant which was right next to Cookies the dispensary. We each picked up a dub (2 grams) so a total of 8 grams. It wasn’t “fat” but it was enough for the day believe me. After that we headed towards Haight street because Tea wanted to buy a new bong and I thought I should get a new bong too. I always wanted a bong but not a tall one just a small piece because you can’t carry big bongs with you everywhere it’s just not smart you know. I believe that tall bongs or much larger pieces should stay at home where they belong. I remembered that I had to convince Tea to buy a small piece since we were going to Dolores Park anyway. “If we get caught dude or even robbed you’re gonna regret buying an expensive and beautiful piece, trust.”
“Yeah you’re right next time though for sure.” she said sadly but waiting on the day she was going to come back for that bong.
Both Tea and I bought small bongs for about twenty dollars, the smoke shop was having a sale that day. I liked to believe that we were lucky that day because let’s face it bongs can be expensive but when they’re cheap and workable it's oh so sweet. We had this thing where we would name our pieces because we felt like they were much more than just objects that we smoked out of. There’s a reason people threw blunts and joints away when they were done, they had no meaning, no ties to the person that was smoking it but pieces are a different story. You keep them forever and for as long as you want, naming them is just the icing on top. I have three now, Stacy, Judy, and Z. Simple but interesting at the same time. Tea named her’s Haightie, I wonder why.
We parked at the very top of Dolores Park and walked down to the stairs near where the J train passed by. That bus stop had to be one of my favorites in all of San Francisco. There was just something about the route going towards downtown and the adolescent conversations in the air. It reminded me of my friends and how young we were. Life is beautiful, isn’t it?
We sat on the stairs. I sat next to Tea and both Sita and Joplin sat one step below us. We smoked and talked about our lives and what was going on at the time. A group of freshman and sophomores approached us asking if they could use our lighter to light their blunt. It was so skinny that I felt bad because that was all they had to smoke. It was not a pretty scene. I offered to smoke them out and they were pretty high from what I remembered.
I asked, “Where do you guys usually buy your dro from?”
The short chubby guy with curly hair responded very quickly, “I have a plug in the city.”
Joplin jumped in and said, “Is it dank? Is it sticky? Does it get you high?”
The tall one nodded yes for the whole group. We looked at each other and we all thought the same thing. New customers for our growing business.
“Aye if you guys want anything fresh just let us know.” Sita handing them our contact information. It was a text app number and a house number to a warehouse in Sacramento. I still remembered how thrilled they were that day. I would be too if I was 16 and without a rec (Marijuana card).
We had forgotten that we parked the car all the way at the top so the walk up the hill was not pleasant for someone who was lit, stoned, blazed, baked, or whatever you guys call it nowadays. Sita didn’t like driving in the city under the influence because she had already been in two accidents while driving high. She wasn’t paranoid, she just played it smart. Tea however was always excited to drive in the city, it didn’t matter what state she was in, she just enjoyed driving in general. We drove to Serramonte Mall because they wanted to eat, I preferred real food when I’m high, never had the munchies for snacks and fast food. I wanted to live a long healthy life. During the ride home we discussed the raids that were going on in Sacramento. Somehow cops got word of illegal distribution of marijuana in their county but we weren’t worried. We trusted Pac. Everyone trusted Pac, but everyone knew to never cross him or else. He didn’t play any games. He was the type that didn’t waste time on anyone, he had no problem cutting you off from his list completely but if you made trouble you wouldn’t even exist on that list. A couple nights ago, Joplin and I were working real late around two in the morning. Pac had just finished selling two ounces to a wealthy client in San Diego. He had customers all over California. He only shared his wealthy client list to Dirty his long-time business partner. He found out that Dirty had been selling blow to some of his clients on the low. Pac was furious. He didn’t like being around that stuff, it reminded him of his mother. She was an addict until she overdosed in a cheap motel, turns out she was selling her body for that stuff. It made sense to why he didn’t want that stuff around his business but I didn’t expect him to take Dirty for a night ride into god knows where. Joplin and I left because we knew shit just went down. After that nothing was ever the same.
We talked about that night in the car and chills were beginning to form on my body. I didn’t witness it but I knew. They had dropped me off around midnight and I just wanted to knock out. “What time are you guys coming in the morning?” I yawned.
“Ten cause we have to be at work at twelve.” Sita explained. I nodded yes and carried on. I had dinner and dreamt all night. I woke up to the sounds of my roommate Kenzi fucking her boyfriend loud and apparently, he was pleasing her right since she was moaning pretty loud. All the roommates were comfortable around each other so pure fucking in the bedroom was normal on West Orange Ave. I blast the Return of 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version album by Ol’ Dirty Bastard while I was getting ready. ODB is awesome, I have so much respect for him, he changed rap music for me. I received a group message:
Sita: Jules says we have to come in work ASAP, it’s an emergency.
Tea: What happened?
Sita: Idk. but we have to go soon.
Joplin: I’m here, Franco gave me a ride. Jules is crying.
Luna: I’m ready.
Sita: On my way.
Tea: meet you in front of Luna’s
It took us about two hours without traffic so just imagine what we did on the way there. We were curious to what Jules must have been crying about. Maybe Pac and Jules had a fight or maybe he finally figured out that she was cheating on him. Everyone knew but no one wanted tell him. Only one would be dumb enough to put their nose where it didn’t belong. We arrived at the warehouse on G street near 19th and 20th street. Security checked us in and we were escorted into Jule’s office along with Joplin. Jules was sobbing so hard that the snot from her nose just kept running and running. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone cry that hard over something. She had to pull herself together to tell us what was going on. Jules was the type to tell a person what the situation was even if it made others uncomfortable to hear it. She began, “Pac was found in the bathtub one shot to head. I called some people over to clean the house. I don’t want his murder in the papers. Whoever did this left a bag of coke on his body. Coke dealers are assholes. Anyway, I’m closing the warehouse as soon as we sell all of our plants. I don’t know how long that would take but I suggest you four start looking for depressing jobs at the mall or something.” I couldn’t believe it myself. Pac was dead. He was a good man to the four of us, he treated us like one of the homies. People were always afraid of him because he was your typical pants sagging thug looking black male. But he was sweet. He listened to a lot of Jill Scott whenever he was alone in his office. As soon as you walked in his office you would see a quote hanging on the wall and it says, “Your background ain’t squeaky clean shit, sometimes we all go to swim upstream, you ain’t no saint, we all are sinners but you put your good foot down and make your soul a winner.”
Imagine reading that every day. I respected that. I like to think that he had an old soul.
We didn’t know what to do. Should we stay or leave but we finished our shift instead. We were just trimmers and watched over the plants. We made sure that the correct lights were being used correctly and that each plant was getting enough sunlight for the plants grow properly. Sounds great but it was a lot of work. Joplin had pulled me aside and it seemed as if she wanted to tell me a secret, the kind that Tea and Sita knew nothing about. She had a concerned look on her face and it worried me. She explained to me that she might know what had happened to Pac. Her boyfriend Franco bought blow from Dirty from time to time only because he sold to him cheap. She didn’t even know that her own boyfriend was doing coke right under her nose. He told her that right after Dirty “disappeared” he noticed that a black 1965 Pontiac GTO was following him. He was wondering why but then it clicked to him. Franco had gone with Dirty to Beverly Hills to sell a kilo of coke to some rich white guy. Franco saw how much money Dirty was making and he was easily convinced. Show a guy some cash and they’ll pretty much do anything. They get to this Walter Springs house real late around two thirty, and he was having a coke party in his mansion. I didn’t know people actually partied hard like that, a party specifically for coke? That’s insane. They walked in the house and the place is packed with coke heads. Typical suburban cats everywhere. Walter signals Dirty to come upstairs. “Just be cool man, these cokeheads will look at you the wrong way if you look sus.”
“I’m straight man.”
“Good.”
Walter was a son of some Hollywood producer so he had money to blow.
“Wassup fellas, wanna do a line?” He didn’t even introduce himself just offered a line of coke for hospitality he probably thought. Dirty didn’t want to stay there for long so it was a quick exchange. Sixty-six thousand for a kilo of coke. Somehow Dirty had the idea that he could skimp Walter because he was from Beverly Hills. Turns out he sold Walter half a kilo for the same price and walked out of the mansion a happy man. He told Franco that was going to be his last drop. Franco didn’t question it until he saw the other half of coke in his glove compartment. He knew that Dirty had just played the worst move you could ever do with selling drugs on the streets. It’s one thing to skimp a dime for twenty dollars but to skimp someone of sixty-six thousand dollars is crossing the line. Shit like that just doesn’t exist in the Bay Area is just doesn’t.
“That’s when he figured that the guy in the Pontiac was Walter Springs. He said that he followed him from San Francisco to Davis where he lives.” Joplin explained.
Franco had gotten out of the car and the look on Walter’s face scared the shit out of him. He held a gun to his head and said, “You think you and your buddy could play me in my own town?” He was so high off of coke that he couldn’t stop sticking his tongue out at Franco.
“Hey man I had no idea he was gonna do that to you I swear.” Franco cried.
“So where is he?”
“I haven’t seen him since that day.” He knew that Dirty was nowhere to be found but he felt that Walter didn’t need to know that sort of information.
“Who’s his boss?!” Pressing the gun hard on the side of his forehead.
“Wait wait wait wait wait! His name is Pac. He has a warehouse in Sacramento on G street very easy to find.” He was so scared that he was going to piss his pants but that’s understandable, being held at gunpoint for no reason is one the most frightening thing a person could ever experience. Walter removed the gun from Franco’s face and licked his face goodbye. Creepy and disgusting, coke heads I guess. As Joplin is telling me the story I’m thinking maybe Walter killed Pac.
“You wanna take a trip to Beverly Hills tonight?” I asked Joplin.
“Doesn’t that Walter guy lives in Beverly Hills? Oh my gosh you wanna go there huh?”
“Dude why not find out if he killed Pac or not. We’re not detectives dude we’re just two girls looking for a party. Don’t you wanna find out who did it?”
“Okay fine. I’ll ask Franco if I can borrow his car tonight but if he asks I’m sleeping over at your place, okay?”
“Yeah no problem.”
I went home with Sita and Tea. The car ride was extremely awkward for me. I felt weird about not telling them what Joplin told me but the less people who knew the better it’ll be.
“What’s up dude what did Joplin tell you?” Sita asked.
“Nothing she thinks Franco is cheating on her but I told her not to stress about it.”
“Dang what if he was though, that would be crazy huh.” Tea wondered.
Caress me down was playing on the radio and I slowly turned it up leaving the conversation hushed. I said hi to my roommates and packed a bag for the road. Joplin texted.
I’ll be there at 8 ok.
I replied quickly.
Luna: I’m gonna take a nap so honk really loud.
Joplin: Loud enough for the neighbors to hear?
Luna: Fuck it.
I think that was one of the best naps I have ever taken. I slept good. I heard the intensity of the honks and I thought wow she really didn’t give any fucks. I said bye to my roommates and Twyla said, “You’re always going somewhere. Where are, you going tonight?”
“I’m going to a party in Beverly Hills.”
“You better be careful there, those people don’t give a damn what happens to you.”
“Gotchu. Don’t worry I’m going with Joplin.”
Little did she know. I sat in the passenger seat and Joplin pointed to the two nine-millimeter pistol silencers in the back seat. And all she said was, “Let’s pray that we won’t have to use these tonight.” I didn’t know what to say. I had never used a gun before in my life but I didn’t know that she had any experience either. Clearly Joplin was not the person to fuck with. It took us about six hours to get there without traffic. Joplin found the address in Franco’s phone. It took two glances to realize where I recognized that address from.
“Hey, remember when we were in Jules office today?” I asked.
“Yeah why?”
“Did you see this exact address written on her whiteboard? She made a note to herself to be there tonight.”
“You know I think I saw it too but I’m not sure.”
“Change of plans. We should be ghost tonight.”
“No one knows our name or where we’re from. If anything, we’re a bunch a groupies tonight, nothing more.”
It was the perfect plan. We were going to scope the place out without being seen by Walter or Jules. Joplin parked the car two blocks away from the house. We changed into our groupie outfits and we were instantly Lola and Joy from the Valley. It was so hard walking those two blocks wearing pumps. The struggles of a female. We get to the house and the place is packed with once again coke heads but now I see it with my own eyes. We stood out for real. The only nonwhites at the party. We couldn't help but stand out. Not my fault that this Walter guy didn’t have any friends outside of his race. But hey it is Beverly Hills, gotta remember that. The plan was to enter the mansion together and leave together no matter what. We did not waste any time at all but the thing was we didn’t know what Walter looked like just Jules. We each took down a martini but eating the olive was my favorite part. We socialized and a met a guy named Adrian. He was coming on to Joplin but she didn’t even bother to acknowledge him. I told her to be nice because we were there for one reason only, Pac’s shooter.
“You know where we could find some…” Joplin tapping her nose.
“Yeah you guys wanna have a couple lines with me? We could go to a private room upstairs.”
We nodded yes and followed him up the stairs. He took both our hands and guided us to a room that was awfully close to a darkroom. Red lights were everywhere. The darkroom led to several rooms and soon we were in the same room as Jules and a man we believed to be Walter. She didn’t recognize us. She didn’t even bother to look at us. I assumed she didn’t pay any attention to Valley type girls. While Joplin did a couple lines in the background I asked Adrian how Jules knew Walter. He said that they were cousins from the area. I had no idea that they were even related. Jules told us that she was from the Bay, born and raised. It was one of the main reasons why Pac fell in love with her in the first place. I wondered why she lied about where she came from, perhaps she thought that we would all judge her but who knows at this point. She leaves the room and I make my way towards Walter. He saw what he liked and he didn’t waste any time.
“I love chocolate.” That's what he said to me. I laughed in my head but I just smiled and sat right next to him. I didn’t know how much time I had before Jules would walk back in the room.
“You wanna go somewhere quiet?” I flirtingly asked him.
I guess he was shocked that I was somewhat “interested” but I just wanted answers.
He quickly grabbed my hand and his hands were so warm, I never wanted him to let go. As we leave the room I signaled Joplin a peace sign to let her know that I was leaving. He takes me to the pool house behind the mansion. Joplin carefully follows us out back. He opens the door and takes me to the bed. His slow kisses on my neck felt gratifying. He smelled like Pina colada. He gently moves his hands up my dress and before he could proceed I saw Joplin’s face in the window. I burst out a giggle and he gave me a strange look. Next thing I knew Joplin busts open the door and immediately points the pistol at him. I get up and quickly close the door behind her.
“Oh so you guys wanna play rough? Okay I can dig it.” Excitement shooting through his pants.
“No we want to know if you came to see Pac or not? You know your cousin’s boytoy.” It was the high taking over Joplin. But she seemed rational enough to handle a weapon.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about baby.”
I surprised myself by clocking the gun to his head and I asked the question again.
“Did you or did you not shoot Pac in his home?”
“Why you guys wanna know? Where are you guys from?”
“Don’t worry about it rich kid. Just tell us. A simple yes or no.”
“No.”
“Then who because we all know you were in town the day he died so what’s up. Beverly Hills cat driving to the city for the weather? I don’t think so mister.” Joplin stated, and she was right. She was annoyed by his presence and his lack of cooperation. She decided to shoot him in the foot and he screamed “You bitch!”
I had to laugh but shit just got serious. Joplin shot someone.
“Are you gonna tell us what went down or not man?” I asked.
“Fine. I told Jules that Dirty tried to skimp me out of a kilo. I knew that he worked for Pac because he sold me bud from time to time. He came with some short guy with a hairy face.”
“That guy is my boyfriend”
“Nice one. Anyway, I follow this guy to his house and I’m acting all badass waving my gun around. He immediately sells out Pac. I go to his warehouse and I find Jules there. She tells me that Pac found coke in her car and blames it on Dirty. She tells him that he’s been slangin that yayo to his wealthy clients like me. Somehow Dirty miraculously disappears into thin air and no one sees him.” At this point all I wanna do is tape his mouth shut. I asked for one thing and he gives a play by play. “Get on with it dude!” We both shouted.
“After we leave the warehouse we drive back to the city to her place. She confessed to me that Dirty was her lover and that he gave her aids. She got her test results earlier that day. I walked inside with her and there’s Pac sitting in the kitchen waiting for her.”
“So you gave me aids? Who the fuck have you been sleeping with?” She had to tell him there was no point to keeping it a secret anymore. Too late for that.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, he’s dead.” She started sobbing.
“Who Dirty? I just told him that he couldn’t cross California state lines or else.”
“But but.”
“You stupid bitch!” He rushed towards her but before he could even lay a finger on her, Dirty took one shoot to the head through the back door. I forgot that he was good with guns.
“So Dirty shot Pac?” Joplin asked
“Yes.” he answered.
“And you and Jules cleaned the house and dumped the body?”
“Yes”
“Where?”
“I can’t say.”
“Fair enough.”
“Are you guys gonna take me to the hospital now?”
We looked each other then looked back at him. Threw him a pair of some keys that were laying on the table. “Drive yourself rich kid.” Joplin said
“How can you live with yourself knowing that you shot a person in the foot?”
I said, “The exact same way you witness a murder and not tell anyone about it.”
As we walked out the door exiting the back of the Mansion, we see Dirty and Jules staring hard into each other’s eyes. I didn’t know how I felt about it but I knew that I did not want to be involved. We walk towards the car passing the jay back and forth. An elderly white lady was walking her dog and she looked at our skanky outfits with such animosity and says, “How can you girls live with yourself dressing like that?”
I laughed and said, “One day at a time lady.”
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