i am the storm

[piper-hood]

Cool. Got an A.

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Choke on your spit.

Piper, what if we went and brought home…another cat?

Shit twice and die.

......Alex would have a stroke.

[piper-hood]

Cool. Got an A.

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Hey Piper?

I’’m always looking for ways to boost your ego. Because god knows you need it.

Hey Asher? Eat shit and die.

I really do, thank you. Please continue.

[piper-hood]

Cool. Got an A.

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ME. According to me. The only vote that counts. 

This is emotional and mental torture.  You’re the meanest person I know.

I can’t hear you, the wind is blowing too hard.

Aww that’s so nice of you to say.

[piper-hood]

Cool. Got an A.

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I find you revolting. Second is best, haven’t you heard?

WHY. Why do you have to sic your guard dog on me

According to who, dumbass?

Because it works, let’s be honest. I saw your soul leave your body when I said it.

[piper-hood]

Cool. Got an A.

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Whatever happened to family first, you rude bitch.

I know where you sleep

Second born, second place.

I’ll tell Rose you’re being mean to me.

[piper-hood]

Cool. Got an A.

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It must just be so hard to be you.  Blowing through those finals and leaving your poor idiot brother in your wake.

Leaving the idiot brother is the easiest part.

[piper-hood]

Cool. Got an A.

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are you surprised at this point? I always assume they have your grade ready when you walk in the first day.

Hey, some of those questions on that final made me think for a second. Only a second, though.

[piper-hood]

Cool. Got an A.

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Ah, my dear Barry. One day he’ll understand. SEAMUS!!!! God, Mr. Walker has inspired so many daydreams in class.

You are a gold star.

I don’t even know what it is with Uncle Barry because Uncle Theo just loves you and I thought he would be the hard one to win over. Oh my god Charlie that’s a teacher!

I’ll send that recommendation right over to the college board.

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Not taking away from you and the other Hoods, but I’m very partial to my Ramsays. My dad has no type, so I’m sure they’ve crossed paths.

Still aim for that gold star.

Oh we all know you are, especially Barry. They’re just like, all pretty. Oh Jesus, Uncle Theo has a type and it’s someone with a pulse....and Mr. Walker.

I love gold stars.

[13reasonsvvhy]

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The only person I know who can rock every color is Cass. The rest of the world has at least two bad shades that they shouldn’t try for. Oh, he sounds like my dad. He’s not good at not being the center of attention.

Hopefully he’ll appreciate the initiative. You’re still committed to school projects even though we’re free.

I know, she’s just so pretty. She’s definitely is like, the prettiest one out of all of us. I look like a troll next to her. I feel like...Uncle Theo knows your dad. He finds his type everywhere.

I wouldn’t call this a school project so much as ways-to-get-my-father-to-calm-the-hell-down-project.

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Oh my god, that man. What possessed him to do such a thing? My mom did that once before we were born and I still can’t understand why.

But if you’re not going anywhere, then you’re not infected?

I envy people that can pull off every color, honestly. I think someone else had the attention so he got dramatic. It’s very in line for him.

You know, I said that and then he just told me to go wipe off the doorknobs. I’m preparing a powerpoint for him of how viruses ACTUALLY spread.

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Theo?! I hope he went blue. Absolutely! We’ll have a DIY sesh over Zoom.

Poor Alex. Always so stressed. I’ve only met him a few times, but he was always so wound.

Finally, I’ll be one of the cool kids. He went shit brown. Barry and Cass didn’t speak to him for a full day.

Oh it’s gotten worse in quarantine. The man practically bathes in Lysol.

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Simple things, like distress every pair of jeans I own, tie dye most of my shirts, rearrange all of the books in the house just different enough that it drives my mom crazy. Little stuff.

You could always do it your dad. Mine’s my next victim.

Cass is following the same list, if we’re being honest. She dyed her hair this morning. Even her dad is dying his hair. If I asked, could you show me how to distress jeans?

My dad would actually have a stroke.

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Trying to. I’m definitely at the end of my list of stupid things to try and pass the time list. Now I’m just seeing how many times a day I can make Miles jump out his skin.

We’re at six so far.

What else is on that list? As a nerd, I like lists.

Ooooh, if I wasn’t sure Asher would knock out a tooth, I’d consider it. 

[piper-hood]

Oh hell yeah. Those stripes make me feel things.

It’s those quarantine looks. 

Staying sane, Charlie?