Pirate Dash's Wonderful Puns

A collection of hilarious pun jokes from the moderator of 'Ask Pirate Dash'.

[piratedashpuns]

No small fry...

High Tide: Now I ate too much poutine and cant move

Drog: i know how that feels

Cover Story/Pirate Dash: You apparently made a...

*** Cover Story/Pirate Dash puts on eyepatch ***

Cover Story/Pirate Dash: ...'grave'y decision

Pony Captain: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

High Tide: :0

[piratedashpuns]

Debuting on ABC this fall...

Cover Story/Pirate Dash: Also, holy fuck it's a Will

WillDrawForFood1: you cant prove that

Cover Story/Pirate Dash: Will...I was thinking of something earlier with your name

Cover Story/Pirate Dash: I know the perfect title for a sitcom involving you

WillDrawForFood1: if this is leading to another goddamn pun- it is, isnt it

Beddy Bye: Where there's Will. There's a way.

Cover Story/Pirate Dash: Zach Morris in...'Surprised By the Bell'

WillDrawForFood1: mufugga

[piratedashpuns]

Cover Story/Pirate Dash: What did the owner of the hat store say before shooting his customer?

Scramjet: Dunno

Cover Story/Pirate Dash: "I'll put a cap in you."

Scramjet: :/

Scramjet: :/

Scramjet: :/

Scramjet: Go home Teej

Cover Story/Pirate Dash: I am home

[piratedashpuns]

Will the shipper...

[12:56:04 PM] a little of something: where are ya gonna work now?

[12:56:07 PM] WillDrawForFood1: FedEx is my new master

[12:56:13 PM] WillDrawForFood1: they pay me handsomely

[12:56:17 PM] a little of something: What will you do?

[12:56:17 PM] WillDrawForFood1: and every week

[12:56:17 PM] Teej: Will is now a master of shipping

[12:56:26 PM] a little of something: oh

[12:56:29 PM] Teej: Teej smooches PD's and Surprise's faces together

[12:56:36 PM] WillDrawForFood1: i've been loading and unloading boxes onto semi trucks for over a month now

[12:56:38 PM] a little of something: Cute

[12:56:45 PM] a little of something: Oh

[12:56:46 PM] a little of something: I see

[12:56:49 PM] Teej: That's good to hear, that bit of news is really...

[12:56:52 PM] Teej: Teej puts on eyepatch

[12:56:52 PM] WillDrawForFood1: its a good workout

[12:56:56 PM] WillDrawForFood1: TJ no

[12:56:56 PM] Teej: ...Fed'Excellent'

[12:57:01 PM] WillDrawForFood1: godammit

[piratedashpuns]

[piratedashpuns]

A hairy situation...

Daf (Nate) hairs xodi

[3:28:57 PM] Xodi: wat

[3:28:59 PM] Xodi: hairs?

[3:29:34 PM] Daf (Nate): HAIR!

[3:29:44 PM] Daf (Nate): Daf (Nate) hairs xodi harder

[3:29:56 PM] Xodi: what does "hairs" mean?

[3:30:23 PM] Daf (Nate): Xoid can't handle the fluffeh

[3:30:27 PM] Teej: He wants to use his hair as a tentacle monster on you

[3:30:44 PM] Daf (Nate): That's not...

[3:30:49 PM] Daf (Nate): untrue

[3:31:27 PM] Indigo: *gasp*

[3:32:09 PM] Xodi: wow! XD

[3:32:29 PM] Teej: Well, I guess Daf just wants to get a...

[3:32:31 PM] Teej: Teej puts on eyepatch

[3:32:37 PM] Teej: ...'wild hair up your ass'

[3:32:55 PM] Xodi: really?

[3:33:04 PM] Xodi: you butt :P

[piratedashpuns]

I'm lovin' it...

[8:45:24 AM] Scramjet: [8:44 AM] Violet Satin (Magic Rarity):

They were supposed to be selling Lego Movie merch, but they weren't

[8:46:04 AM] Teej: Well all you can do Scram is just Lego that failed attempt and try again next time

[8:46:36 AM] Scramjet: :/

[8:46:43 AM] Scramjet: punnnsssss

[8:46:48 AM] Teej: Yes

[8:47:01 AM] Luna Octavia (Raven Horn): Lego my Eggo?

[8:47:07 AM] Teej: Scram, when's the next time you're going to jet off to McDonalds?

[8:47:45 AM] Scramjet: Scramjet rolls around on the floor

[8:48:34 AM] Teej: Scram, when you go to McDonalds, do you usually put anything on your burger, or do you just get it plane?

[8:48:52 AM] Scramjet: I'm gonna hit you Teej >:/

[8:48:54 AM] Scramjet: You butt

[8:48:59 AM] Teej: LOL

[piratedashpuns]

Secret butt fun...

[9:56:53 PM] Bleed shark: TJ will steal your underwear. :v

[9:57:35 PM] Teej: Does sharky wanna be strung up by his tail at the harbor?

[9:58:25 PM] Bleed shark: I would like to see you try >:y

[10:20:10 PM] Bleed shark: gg

[10:20:45 PM] Espeon: bleedshark senpai

[10:21:25 PM] Frist: Woah, get a room guys,

[10:21:37 PM] Frist: unless you're planning on sharing~

[10:21:59 PM] Bleed shark: sharing is caring :v

[10:22:04 PM] Teej: I'll share as long as you're willing to let me...

[10:22:06 PM] Teej: Teej puts on eyepatch

[10:22:06 PM] Teej: ...'Frist' you

[10:22:28 PM] Bleed shark: go home Tj >:y

[10:22:33 PM] That Guy: DANG IT I WAS GOING TO INTERJECT WITH THAT

[10:22:57 PM] Fisher: survival of the punnest

[10:23:12 PM] That Guy: I wanna fist frist ;A;

[piratedashpuns]

A pun with a good 'arch'ery...

[6:53:49 PM] Carrot Top: My penname is Conner Cogwork

[6:53:59 PM] Carrot Top: I wrote Cross and Arrow.

[6:54:10 PM] Vamp「S」hy: Vamp「S」hy typetypetype.

[6:54:13 PM] Twilight: And I wrote Solar Flare.

[6:54:38 PM] Vamp「S」hy: Vamp「S」hy typetypetypetypetype

[6:54:39 PM] Teej: [6:53 PM] Carrot Top:

I wrote Cross and Arrow.Then we all must 'bow' down to you

[6:55:01 PM] Vamp「S」hy: Vamp「S」hy stops typing, and just kinda stares at Teej... o.o

[6:55:03 PM] Carrot Top: oh badumtish

[piratedashpuns]

'Butt'ing in with puns...

Carrot Top also approves of Swebelle Time. =V

[4:11:27 PM] Carrot Top: Long as it's no longer about my butt.

[4:11:52 PM] Cream Dream: XD

[4:12:01 PM] Teej: Carrot, I'll make sure no one talks about your butt anymore, by protecting you and...

[4:12:01 PM] Cream Dream: Carrot Butt Time will resume shortly.

[4:12:05 PM] Teej: Teej puts on eyepatch

[4:12:08 PM] Teej: ...'flank' you

[4:12:16 PM] Carrot Top: Oh badumtish

[piratedashpuns]

A pun with the right sound...

[1:33:25 PM] Scroll Scribe (Darnel): Scram is rather defensive of Teej? or his trademark 'Nyoom'? either way.

[1:33:37 PM] [Θ][Σ] Scherzo: It's the Nyoom

[1:33:37 PM] Scroll Scribe (Darnel): if this imposter appears, dood! think of the sky high dogfight!

[1:33:43 PM] [Θ][Σ] Scherzo: The nyoom is Scram's thing

[1:33:45 PM] [Θ][Σ] Scherzo: It is sacred

[1:33:48 PM] [Θ][Σ] Scherzo: The Sacred Nyoom

[1:33:51 PM] Jade: nyoom you say

[1:34:05 PM] [Θ][Σ] Scherzo: Tarnish not the Nyoom else the Brrrt will be cast down upon thee with the fury of six afterburners.

[1:34:22 PM] Ahmedz: nyooom~

[1:34:29 PM] Scroll Scribe (Darnel): Scroll Scribe (Darnel) laughs out loud.

[1:35:01 PM] Wolvan™: Scherzo are you feeling alright?

[1:35:14 PM] Scramjet: I HEARD NYOOM

[1:35:20 PM] Wolvan™: YES

[1:35:23 PM] Wolvan™: NYOOM everywhere!

[1:35:33 PM] Wolvan™: and brrrt seemingly

[1:36:02 PM] Teej: I like the nyoom

[1:36:14 PM] Teej: It makes Scram special and sets him apart, so he's not just another...

[1:36:16 PM] Teej: Teej puts on eyepatch

[1:36:18 PM | Edited 1:36:19 PM] Wolvan™: it's a cute sound

[1:36:20 PM] Teej: ...'plane' ol' pony

[1:36:38 PM] Scramjet: Scramjet bangs his head against the wall

[1:36:57 PM] Wolvan™: that was a bad one

[1:36:59 PM] Teej: Teej raises roof

[1:37:01 PM] Wolvan™: really bad

[1:37:06 PM] [Θ][Σ] Scherzo: Teej noh.

[piratedashpuns]

Good 'cum'edy...

[8:31:38 PM] Fisher: boop

[8:32:52 PM] wuzzlebuffowumps: bap

[8:33:09 PM] WillDrawForFood1: fap

[8:33:28 PM] FlavinBagel: Not on the couch!

[8:33:38 PM] WillDrawForFood1: i have tissues chill

[8:35:14 PM] Post Cactus: woop

[8:36:32 PM] Teej: Will's fine to do that since he's got his tissues, that's the...

[8:36:34 PM] Teej: Teej puts on eyepatch

[8:36:37 PM] Teej: ...'jizz't of it

[8:36:58 PM] FlavinBagel: grozz.

[8:37:15 PM] Paddy [Dr. Superhero Princess]: ECH

[8:37:18 PM] FlavinBagel: Don't make me think about the gentleman gravy of people I know.

[8:37:54 PM] Teej: Why do you think I go no mayo on my burgers at Wendy's

[8:37:56 PM] Teej: OH!

[8:37:59 PM] Teej: Teej is so sorry

[8:38:17 PM] WillDrawForFood1: mix it with coffee and milk

[8:38:19 PM] WillDrawForFood1: make a

[8:38:24 PM] WillDrawForFood1: WillDrawForFood1 sees himself out

[8:38:26 PM] WillDrawForFood1: fappucino

[8:38:49 PM] FlavinBagel: You guys are the worst.

[8:38:56 PM] WillDrawForFood1: we rly are

[8:39:02 PM] FlavinBagel: You're the Brita of skype.

[8:39:05 PM] Teej: Teej slow clap

[8:39:07 PM] Teej: Well done

[8:39:14 PM] WillDrawForFood1: thank u

[piratedashpuns]

It's not in the cards...

[9:48:48 AM] Hiroshi-Tea: I spent my budget on fountain and calligraphy pens. Maybe I'll get cards next month

[9:49:10 AM] Teej: Pens over cards? Do you think that was the...

[9:49:12 AM] Teej: Teej puts on eyepatch

[9:49:15 AM] Teej: ...'write' idea?

[9:49:36 AM] Hiroshi-Tea: My thought process was somewhat sketchy, I admit

[9:50:46 AM] Hiroshi-Tea: But I had an inkling that I might enjoy these pens more

[piratedashpuns]

Really grinding Alex's 'Gear's...

[10:43:46 AM] Teej: :3

[10:43:58 AM] Alex Michanikos: Hey c:

[10:44:16 AM] Teej: So if Gear wears just her favorite article of clothing, is she hoping stallions take a...

[10:44:18 AM] Teej: Teej puts on eyepatch

[10:44:22 AM] Teej: ...'vest'ed interest in her?

[10:44:49 AM] Alex Michanikos: Alex Michanikos sighs

[10:45:02 AM] Teej:

[piratedashpuns]

Pun in Progress...

[10:33:16 PM] Scramjet: I have so many WiPs I need to finish :(

[10:33:23 PM] Scramjet: Most of them like 80% done

[10:33:27 PM] Xodi: FINISH THEM

[10:33:31 PM] Teej: Scram, do you need someone to...

[10:33:33 PM] Teej: Teej puts on eyepatch

[10:33:37 PM] Teej: ...'WIP' you into shape?

[10:33:49 PM] Scramjet: Scramjet cries

[piratedashpuns]

Dream's music tastes...

[8:19:18 PM] Mic Boom: Fuck

[8:19:20 PM] Mic Boom: It's snowing again

[8:19:39 PM] Ahmedz: gimme some snow

[8:20:09 PM] Mic Boom: Come take it

[8:20:10 PM] Mic Boom: All of it

[8:20:15 PM] Mic Boom: All 7 inches of it

[8:20:21 PM] Ahmedz: hawt

[8:20:34 PM] Mic Boom: No

[8:20:40 PM] Mic Boom: Quite the opposite actually

[8:20:46 PM] Ahmedz: cool

[8:23:49 PM] ヽ( ᐛ )ﾉ: whats cooler than bein cool

[8:24:03 PM] ヽ( ᐛ )ﾉ: ice cold!

[8:24:29 PM] ヽ( ᐛ )ﾉ: alrightalrightalrightalrightalright

[8:24:42 PM] Mic Boom: Dream

[8:24:48 PM] Mic Boom: Why would you do nonsense like that

[8:24:48 PM] ヽ( ᐛ )ﾉ: thats me

[8:24:52 PM] Mic Boom: It's no wonder you're an...

[8:24:55 PM] Mic Boom: Mic Boom puts on eyepatch

[8:24:57 PM] Mic Boom: ...'OutKast'

[8:24:59 PM] ヽ( ᐛ )ﾉ: no

[8:25:06 PM] ヽ( ᐛ )ﾉ: B(

[8:25:24 PM] TJMC (Pirate Dash/Mic Boom): I'm sorry, it was too perfect XD

[piratedashpuns]

Not just a 'plane' ol' pun...

[12:14:35 PM] Jade: I wanna make a plan-jadepon

[12:14:37 PM] Jade: plaann

[12:14:41 PM] TJMC (Pirate Dash/Mic Boom): Hey Scram

[12:14:42 PM] Jade: like a plane but minus the e

[12:14:52 PM] Scramjet: INB4 blueprint of Jade

[12:15:02 PM] Wolvan™: I want to see this jade

[12:15:02 PM] TJMC (Pirate Dash/Mic Boom): If femTeej and Scrampone bang, would that make her groin area the...

[12:15:05 PM] TJMC (Pirate Dash/Mic Boom): TJMC (Pirate Dash/Mic Boom) puts on eyepatch

[12:15:08 PM] TJMC (Pirate Dash/Mic Boom): ...'cockpit'?

[12:15:12 PM] Jade: hooo

[12:15:12 PM] Xodi: ...

[12:15:13 PM] Jade: HOOOO

[12:15:15 PM] Xodi: pfft

[12:15:16 PM] Jade: HOOOOOOOO

[12:15:17 PM | Edited 12:15:33 PM] Xodi: 7/10

[12:15:18 PM] Scramjet: Scramjet sobs

[12:15:22 PM] Jade: Nah, strong 7

[12:15:28 PM] Jade: stronnggg 7/10

[12:15:31 PM] Jade: 7.5

[12:15:39 PM] Chaos15 (magnetmod): Great I now my monitor is wet!

[12:15:47 PM] Pencil Scratch: hahahaha

[12:15:48 PM] Jade: 7.5 exhaled out of nose harder than usual

[12:15:50 PM] Pencil Scratch: 8