confessions of a disgruntled barkeep

The chef can't cook. The owner is an alcoholic. They're the same person. WTF?

[pishedoff]

Me: We're closed - that's why the doors aren't open. Drunk idiot: 'but I just want to use the loo' Me: oh for fuck sake - we're not a public toilet!

[cheshirekitty17]

[pishedoff]

Ahh a lunch time special that is always on the menu.

[mizworldofrandom]

[pishedoff]

I wish Gordon would visit work. Then there’d finally be a chef on site who knew what the fuck was going on.

[pishedoff]

Did the minimum wage go up? Oh I didn't know. Oh you want the difference in your pay? Oh don't worry about it ... it's just a couple of pounds

owner and well known idiot

[pishedoff]

Quality local produce.

Damn straight it’s local produce - it’s from the Tesco across the road.

And how do we know it’s quality? 

It’s Tesco’s Finest. That’s why.

[pishedoff]

Yes ... really.

No. Fire blankets, wet floor signs and general health and safety equipment in a restaurant are NOT optional extras. You do have to buy them. Yes. Really. YOU DO.

[pishedoff]

I invented the baked banana

a complete idiot

[pishedoff]

This really happened...

Kitchen ran out of apple sauce for the roast pork. So called ‘chef’ instead took the filling from the apple crumble and smeared it on the pork.

I KID YOU NOT.

[pishedoff]

I don't know how to make scones

chef

[pishedoff]

It’s a no from me

Yes you may own the bar. No you can’t help yourself to the cellar. Why? Well you didn’t order enough stock that’s why.

Also ... you’re an alcoholic shit head and need to pull yourself together.

FFS grow up and act like a man.

[pishedoff]

WTF.

How the fuck can you be a chef and NOT know how to make scones?