Pumpkin

The fanfic side blog. yeah it’s mostly x reader I’m cringe… but free ☕️ You’ll never predict when the next post will be

[piss-pumpkin]

Masterlist :)

Guys its a work in progress it'll get bigger I swear

PJO / HoO🗡️🌊

Luke Castellan:

The scorpion (in which you love Luke dearly, and fail to notice him slip away)

Percy Jackson:

Swords and Skeletons (in which after your claimed, there’s only one person who doesn’t treat you like an outsider)

Bad dreams (in which you and Percy don’t get along, that is until you see how bad his nightmares are)

Leo Valdez

How not to get her back (Multi-chapter longfic, in which you try and help Leo get over his ex, and a few things go wrong)

Drunken confessions (kind of suck) (In which Leo takes care of you when your drunk, and you confess) + Part 2

Gravity falls 🌲🍄

Dipper pines:

Douce amere (multi-chapter longfic, in which you try your best to date Dipper. But confessing is hard. And there are a few schemes afoot.)

The Owl House✨🍯

Hunter/Golden Guard:

Lullaby (in which you, a bard, play a tired Hunter a lullaby)

If you need to talk (in which you, a shapeshifter demon, see how damaged Hunter is)

Scars    Part 2 (in which your scars match your soulmates, and you have a curious amount of scars)

Tea time (in which you are a bit nervous to meet Hunter’s (cool) uncle)

Reflections   Part 2 (in which you can see your soulmate in reflections, like when the light shines on the Golden Guards mask)

Never goodbye Part 2 (In which you are a human and Hunter is a witch, and unfortunately for you, you both come from different worlds)

The future (in which you try and convert Hunter to oracle magic, and end up seeing his future)

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[piss-pumpkin]

☀️Leo makes bad choices 💘

Leo Valdez x reader

Chapter 6 of How not to get her back Masterlist Prev ~3.7k words

“Piperrrrrr!” You half whined, half screamed, with your hands clasped together in prayer, “What the fuck?”

You slunk around the tetherball court— your choice of emergency meeting place. It’s paved floor contributed to your cooking under the hot sun. The ball swirled around the pole at a kick of your foot. 

Piper sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Who told you so?” She asked. 

You groaned, leaning your forehead to rest on the hot metal pole, “You did, Piper.”

She nodded, “I did.”

She had, from day one, said this was a bad idea. You had to give her that. You opened your eyes to look over at her, pole half obscuring her disappointed grimace. In a swift slap of the ball, she sent it flying around the pole, which your face was on. The tether rope wrapped around the back of your head tightly, and at the end the ball hit your nose. 

“Okay,” You said. “How do I fix this? Do I just end it?” your lips rubbed against the pole as the tether loosened, but still bound you up. You gave the ball a smack to send it away and aid your escape.

The fake dating situation had gotten slightly weird. Kiss weird. Not in a bad way, but also in a pretty bad way. If there was any believe of you being impartial, not using the situation for your own gain, or just trying to help Leo realize Calypso wasn’t into him, it was gone. You were playing your own game, at this point. 

Piper sighed as she helped, and hit the ball loose. You quickly jumped back to avoid getting caught as she hit it harder and wrapped it the other way. “Yes,” she said dryly. “Just point out how it didn’t work, you tried and failed. Boom, done. Then please,” she clasped her hands together, and pointed them at you. “For the love of Gods, detox from him.” 

You fought a sheepish smile. “That sounds extreme,” you gritted out. “I wouldn’t go that far.” 

She balanced the ball on her palm, and slapped it at your face. You were ready this time, though. Your hand shot up to block and send it back at her. Piper was quick too, and this started a vicious back and forth. Each hit stung your hand, but of you conceded it’d be your nose.

You sent the ball at her face, but Piper was winding up. She slapped the ball so hard her palm was red, “you need to get over it!”

You saw it coming, but her rage powered the ball beyond your abilities. You blocked with your elbows, but it still sent you stumbling. “Fine! Gods! Let’s…” you watched through your fingers defensively as Piper put the ball down. Good, she was hearing you out. “Let’s, like, go do something and not invite him. 

She cracked her knuckles and shook her arms out as she started to leave the court. “You know I don’t want to be mean and exclude him, it’s just… you need time away from the act to remember you aren’t actually a thing.”

You followed her, biting your lip a little as you considered it. You’d been hanging out with him one on one a lot more since this started. Which, though not bad, meant you were always ready to be a couple. “Okay, whatever, yeah,” you said. “I bet if we hung out more as a group it’d be less weird, too.” 

“Yes, that,” Piper said, clapping, “You make it so weird, basically going on dates with him.”

You shrugged sheepishly. 

“Okay, well, we’re going to the camp store. I need snacks.”

                                         …

Leo stared at the mirror, chewing his lips as he analyzed. Maybe he could improve his face, or something, and if he looked better he’d have better chances. That made sense. People liked when other people were attractive. 

He pat his hair down, and ran his fingers through it. A cut might work. His curls were thick, and that could be a good thing, but he hadn’t really changed the style in… years. Maybe something totally different and new would make him fresher… especially to people who may have been previously sick of him. Yeah. 

But what? Leo turned his head side to side, imagining the angles. Mullet? Or would that look too redneck? Leo grimaced, trying to pull his hair into crude renditions of some cuts. He could go short. He hadn’t had that since he was a kid; his hair always had a lot of volume in the last few years. 

Leo hummed, opening instagram. Out of habit, he looked at Calypso’s profile. Her last post showed her with some guys. Leo frowned. They looked like they were all having fun. And the guys weren’t even ugly. He scanned their haircuts— that was the interesting part. 

Hmm. Short looked good on these guys. Leo pursed his lips, and started to look through his messages. He needed a second opinion… and probably somebody to cut his hair. 

He started to dial you, and put the ringer on speaker as he kept playing with his hair. The phone rang. And it rang some more. And it kept ringing. Leo looked down at it, brow quirked. Seriously? The phone rang until it went to voicemail. Leo blinked, and picked it back up. You didn’t usually do that. You once answered him while you were fifty feet up the lava climbing wall. 

He hummed, thumb hovering over the rest of his contacts. He tried Piper next.

It rang. Leo stared at the phone, slightly annoyed the longer it went. Surely one of his close friends would answer him. 

Eventually, Piper did pick up. “Hello?” She asked. Leo could make out some background voices.

”Okay, two questions,” he started, fiddling again with his hair. “Are you busy?”

A beat of silence followed. Leo could hear one hushed whisper crackle through the speaker before Piper spoke. “Yep,” she said flatly. 

Damn. Leo sighed, pulling his hands back from his hair. “Alright, so you know if Y/n is busy? I’m making a big change, and I need somebody’s help.”

”That’s a weird and ominous thing to say,” Piper answered. “But uh, yeah. Y/n is… also busy.” 

Leo groaned. Who was his third pick? Annabeth maybe? It’s not like she was a stylist, but she could at least use a razor on him. Probably. “Okay, last question,” he said. “Do you think I’d look good with a buzz cut?”

Silence followed. And then, Piper snickering, “well,” she started. Leo could hear the smirk in her voice. 

Before she could speak, your voice cut in with a shrill yell of “No!”

”Y/n?” Leo asked. Since when had they been there? Leo pursed his lips. Well. That explains why you were both busy. 

He heard a scuffle on the microphone, broken up by arguing and giggling on Pipers part. The phone came loose, and Leo guessed he was in your hand, because your voice got loud and you breathed on the microphone while Piper yelled at you to give it back. 

“Listen, Leo, you cannot do that. It would look so ugly. Calypso or any girl ever would never date you- hey!” 

Air started to fly by the microphone as Pipers voice hit him again— “Please, please get a buzz cut. Everyone is going to think it’s super hot- Y/n! What the fuck!” 

Leo listened as it seemed the phone fell. Both voices faded fast followed by a thump on the mic. Ugh, would he have to fix Pipers phone later? “Hello?” He asked, only vaguely hearing arguing. “I can ask Annabeth, guys. Get a third opinion and all, since you’re busy; hopefully she can just do it.”

You screamed no just as Piper did yes. It seems like you won out in the end, because the last thing he heard before you hung up was “don’t do anything, we’ll come over soon.” 

Leo hummed, looking back at the mirror. Would it really be that bad? You acted like it’d end the world. 

His friends came banging on his door in record time. Piper sauntered in with a grin. “Alright, let’s buzz,” she said. 

You quickly followed shaking your head. “No fucking shot we’re doing that.” 

Leo sucked a breath in through his teeth. Maybe calling them both was a bad idea. Piper was already grabbing for his razor on the table as you sniffed around for scissors. It seemed that his fate was out of his hands, now. “Didn’t you both have plans, today?”

You found the scissors, and snipped them for emphasis. “Your hair is more important.”

”For some reason,” Piper scoffed, shooting you a look. 

For a moment, Leo imagined this is what being a child of divorce would’ve like. He didn’t understand the conflict and was stuck in the middle of it.

You winced as you smacked your lips together. “He would look so bad with a buzz,” you said, shaking your head. Then you remembered it was him you were supposed to convince. You turned your head in his direction, and pointed at the nearest spinny chair. Leo was pretty easy to convince, so he sat down. “You would look better with longer hair, Leo.”

Piper rested her arm on the back of the chair, looking over Leo’s head at you. Her hair dipped in his face a bit. “It isn’t about what you like though, Y/n,” Piper said pointedly. 

You squinted and grimaced. 

“Y/n?” Leo asked. Your face was contorted almost like pain as you looked at him.

”Don’t look at them,” Piper cut in. She tried to spin him around to face her instead, and got halfway, but you’d recovered with a counter. Your foot hit the chair to stop the spin as you pulled him back. 

You had a determined look, now. With force, you planted your hand on the armrests and towered over him. “Leo, think of our lie?” You said smoothly. “Who would ever believe I’d date a guy with a buzzcut? I’d rather die, then do that. And everyone knows it. You’d be sabotaging any chance of people believing you.”

Piper kicked the chair back in her direction, shaking it from your grip.

“But this isn’t about what they want, Leo,” she said, looking  down at him coolly. Her eyes were crinkled in a coy smile. “Think of Calypso. She might be into this. She clearly wasn’t into your current hair. You need a change,” she said sweetly. And that made a lot of sense. Calypso would like it. Right now, he was so boring and probably ugly. That was it, she’d convinced him. 

Leo groaned as something hit his shoulder with force. His head shot around to see your hand there as you leaned over him and waved your hand in Piper’s face angrily. “Charmspeak is cheating!” You shouted. 

“Hey, wait, yeah,” Leo said, pointing at her. “You totally just charmed me, not cool.” He glanced up at you, and you both shared a nod. 

Piper pursed her lips and shrugged. “I didn’t mean too,” she said. “Not completely.”

You hissed under your breath at her, “you evil bitch, silence from you.” You pulled back and shifted behind him, putting your other hand on his shoulder as you began to spin him side to side. 

Leo watched as Piper rolling her eyes moved across and back across his vision. Was this that much of a debate?  He sighed, and rolled his head back so he was looking up at you. “What hair it’s do girls even like, then?” 

Maybe he should have thought less about ‘girls’ and more about Calypso specifically, but at this point he wasn’t sure he’d know that either. If she didn’t like how he looked now, then he had no idea what she liked. Besides old heroes she fell in love with in the past. But he just didn’t look like them, a haircut wouldn’t change that.

Piper chimed in, “it varies from girl to girl, I guess. And depends on what suits you.” Her arm were folded across her chest as she looked down at him. It came across kind of judgey. She was really looking at his hair. Maybe she’d come up with an answer. 

You looked down at him, and smiled. “Think about what you’d like,” you said. You leaned down a bit, to dangle your hair at his forehead and wave it around. Leo squinted as it tickled. 

He never thought much about what actually looked good. He thought what he had now was actually decent… before all this. The most he’d ever do to style his hair differently was jokingly put grease in it. As it was now, Leo didn’t mind taking care of the curls. He even liked them. The buzzcut would have just been for her. 

“I guess,” he started, meeting your eyes through the veil of his hair and yours. “I don’t mind it like this, but I could be wrong.”

Piper sighed, and Leo sat up to look at her. You had to pull your head back pretty fast to avoid bumping with his. “You know, as much as I would love to see you buzzed,” Piper said, glancing up to you. “You should just do it how you want it. You’re broken up, don’t let her decide for you. Do you even know if she likes short hair like that?” 

Leo shook his head. 

“You’re an idiot,” Piper said. 

You snorted above him. “Gods, you really are,” you said, “Let’s just give it a trim, or a little cleaning up.” Your fingers felt around his hair and fluffed it up a bit as you looked him over. “Just to give it some shape.”

You moved the razor to the other end of the table and put your fingers around the scissors. 

You ran your fingers through his hair a couple times to detangle it before you started. Leo felt himself leaning in. Then scrunching his brow, wondering why he was doing that. You gently tugged a strand between your fingers and Leo felt short light snips behind him. Did he really miss having somebody’s hand in his hair that much? 

Leo closed his eyes and you gathered another strand and started to cut. He hoped you were doing a good job. If he ended up hideous that would really suck. 

Whenever you found a knot you’d do your best to get it out without pulling. Gently, you held the strand close to his head as you tugged out the tangle. Leo could feel a few hairs breaking, but it never hurt. 

Whenever you’d grab the hair, Leo would find his head being pulled back with it. Each time, you’d use your free hand to reposition him back. Your finger tips touched his scalp first, then your palm as your hands glided through the curls, and you tried not to mess it up as you pushed. Leo suppressed a smile. It felt kind of nice. Like a rag doll, he let you tug his head around so each time you could put it back. 

“Alright, how we feeing?” You asked Piper. Leo was, probably strategically, not facing the mirror. Instead he looked at Pipers scrutinizing gaze as she scanned for details. 

“It’s a little uneven right here,” she said, point to a spot on her own head. “Other than that, I’m actually liking it.”

You trimmed the side she said, and once you had Pipers nod of approval, Leo was allowed to see. You spun him back to the mirror. Leo hadn’t realized he was bracing himself until he eased up when he saw. He looked… pretty normal, actually. Just a bit less shaggy, a little neater. Still untidy, but… just better. Like you said, just a trim and a touch up. 

Leo fluffed it up a bit as he analyzed. “It looks good, thanks,” he said. 

You chuckled, “you sound surprised.”

Piper snorted, too. “Oh, we all are.” 

Leo looks himself over in the mirror from different angles as the two of you started to banter about how little faith Piper had in you. He just looked like himself, but better. Maybe that’s what Calypso would like. Him, just… better. That made sense. A smile cracked on his lips. 

Then his friends left to get back to whatever they were doing before. Without him. Lame. But he was satisfied enough with the cut that he didn’t really mind. 

                                          …

Leo spun aimlessly on a chair in the workshop late into the night. All by himself. He retreated to the bunker to not keep his siblings up with his restless tinkering. Sometimes he’d play with his new hair between little side projects. He needed something bigger to focus on and keep his attention… at night it was harder not to miss her, or think of the plan. 

He wished you and Piper invited him out to whatever fun thing you guys were doing. It was probably cool, too. Whatever. He had his inventions. 

Him and his siblings already finished most of the fireworks for the Fourth of July. It was coming up soon, but he still had time to cram in a few more last minute ones. But he was lazy. 

Leo picked up a screwdriver and looks at the various unfinished projects strewn across the table. Then he put it down and pulled out his phone. He groaned as he picked his chair away from the workbench. 

As usual, he drifted to Instagram. And to his messages. 

Leo almost dropped his phone. What. His eyes widened as his jaw dropped. Oh, he was back in it. He was so in it. His fingers clutched the phone like a lifeline, as if letting go would shatter the illusion. Oh my gods. He stared at it, burning his eyes with the LED light. Holy shit. A green dot punctuated her little icon— her new profile picture with the pretty high angle and those eyes… and unfortunately next to some guys but whatever. She was typing. 

Her typing bubble kept appearing and disappearing. Leo was practically vibrating. She wanted to talk to him? Play it cool. Be cool. Leo waited, deathly still and maybe the most patient he’d ever been. Who knows, maybe if he moved he’d break the spell, or wake from the dream, or jinx it and she’d stop typing for good and never send a message. Not only was he unblocked, but she was going to message him? Her? Her first? Leo’s jaw hung open as he watched the little dots move across the bubble. 

‘Hey.’ Leo didn’t need to open the message to read it. She said hey. Hey, Calypso, he thought back. He stared at the unopened chat for a second. It’d be kind of weird to open and read it right away, it’s good to wait. But she can totally see that he’s active right now, so maybe not too long. Just… hey. 

His heart was racing. What does hey even mean? Yeah, hi, been a minute since you broke up with me, Caly, what’s up? No way he could say that. Is the plan working? Is she jealous, or does she want him back? Now that something was actually happening, the plan felt both real and totally stupid. He had her attention, hopefully she doesn’t think he’s actually moved on. 

Leo opened the message. Their chat background was still hearts, and his eyes jumped up to the top of the screen— the last time they texted it was about no contact, and then she blocked him. He sent back a simple hi. Nice and easy. Clean. Smooth. His heart was still racing. 

Not instant, but pretty fast read receipt. Leo jumped a bit when she started typing again. That was quick ‘How have you been?’ Leo read. He had to standup for that. He had to lock in. Leo paced around before sliding down on his slanted broken couch. 

He tossed his head back on the cushions, rolled his neck, then flopped around, banging his ears on the cotton. Leo grinned, almost giggled. His thumbs had never moved so fast on the keyboard as he typed back ‘I’ve been good, camps the same as always,” and a quick second message of ‘how about you?’ 

Oh yeah, it was all coming together. Did his plan actually work? Is that what was happening? If so? He’d have the biggest ‘I told you so’ to say to you later. And Piper. Really everyone. 

‘Yeah I keep seeing your stories,’ she wrote, ‘looks like a lot of fun.’

His stories. Oh yeah, he was winning. Was she jealous yet? What kind of fun was she talking? Or just… is this small talk? Who knows. Oh man, how does he even navigate talking about the plan? He can’t seem too into you, but he can’t just profess his undying love to Calypso while she thinks he’s taken. The delicacy is that she is jealous, he has to keep her that way. 

‘Totally,’ he typed. ‘How about you? Haven’t seen much on your end.’ 

Because he was blocked for a while, but whatever. He’d only know that if he was stalking her profile, which he was. But she didn’t know that. 

Leo stared at her profile picture as she typed. Man, he missed seeing that face. ‘Oh yeah I had you blocked sorry,’ she sent. Ok, wow. Being pretty open about that. ‘It’s been good, band camp and all. Met come cool people.’

Leo couldn’t help it. ‘Blocked :(‘ he typed. 

She typed. Then she stopped. Then she started again. And then stopped. Leo pursed his lips, wriggling around on the couch while he waited. How would she explain away that? 

‘I needed some space to clear my head,’ she wrote. Yeah, seems reasonable. 

Leo was kicking his feet against the couch. He might end up putting another dent into it. ‘Thats cool,’ he typed. ‘I get it.’ 

‘It’s pretty clear now though. I wouldn’t mind talking again’ 

Leo grinned. Wow. He was so back. 

Next

Taglist: @oneiratxxia10 @the-curious-sloth @leovereyna @aniahvol3 @chaosomnipotent (lmk if you want to be added)

[guys im sorry me when i don’t write anything or post in months. But I haven’t forgotten trust. You’ll never predict the next post of this fic. I am pretty sure there is something wrong in my brain might be depressed and that’s why i don’t write]

[piss-pumpkin]

🗡️ Benefits 🍰

Leo Valdez x reader, How not to get her back chapter 5 ~3.9k words masterlist Prev

Clarisse eyed Leo from across the prep area, and Leo realized he may have chosen the wrong side. All around him campers were gearing up in coloured helmets and grabbing their weapons before the game started. Leo shrunk under the glare of several Ares cabin members as they stood beside their leader. Gods, where were you when he needed you? That protection was seeming really good right now. 

While he fidgeted with his hammer, he ran through what you taught him. Just… be fast and cool. Maybe he didn’t get everything, but he totally got the basics. Sweep the leg, punch the elbow, or whatever. 

Leo was going over the steps when he got pushed on his side. He whipped around, ready to use his killer moves— but it was just you. Leo pursed his lips, trying to hide the fact that he got startled. He shouldn’t be jumpy, he should be really cool.

“Hey Hot Stuff,” you grinned, leaning your elbow on his shoulder and following his gaze to the Ares enemy. 

Leo snickered, “I like Hot Stuff.”

You shook your head and lightly tapped his helmet, scuffing his hair underneath. “It’s because I can see you sweating from across the field.”

”Oh.”

When the game started he was sent off to wander the woods. Not really, he was supposed to play defence if anyone came, but he didn’t really know what to do until then. A bunch of traps he set up were scattered around the area, more densely towards their flag. 

A horn, like thunder, rang out to signal the start. Leo didn’t really do much. Hopefully he wouldn’t do anything at all, his traps would just work, and nobody would bother with him. 

He paced around for a while, avoiding the triggers blended into the grass. Little trip wire nooses lined the ground, if he stepped even one foot in it would snap shut and hoist him up. Then he’d be even easier to stab. He really hoped he didn’t pick the wrong side. 

That question, though, had an answer. A twig and some brush snapped behind him, and Leo whipped his head around. 

“You traitor,” some guy with a spear spat. Oh, great. Leo didn’t recognize him, or his two sword wielding friends. Red tufts stuck out the top of their helmets, and Leo didn’t need to know who they were to know they wanted to skewer him. 

He stepped away one pace, putting his hands up, “hey, fellas,” he started, as they walked closer. “I never made any promises.”

One of them started to swing her sword in the air, and Leo kept walking backwards. The biggest dude in the middle drew closer. “Buddy boy, you know better then to cross Ares. You gotta pay the main tax, man. Jus part of the rules.”

Leo kept walking, hands in the air in surrender. Just a little more. Please Hephaestus, I’d rather not die. 

He walked a few paces back, and the Ares kids forward. The major difference between the two parties was that Leo knew where the traps were. At once, two of them were caught by the ankle and lifted into the air. The big dude started to flail and curse at Leo. 

Unfortunately, there was one more guy. “You tricky shit!” He shouted, lunging at Leo. 

Oh shit. He was a sword guy. On instinct, Leo side stepped and got close to him. You said that sword are less effective up close. No swing range. Leo body checks the Ares guy and almost got knocked off balance himself. But he stayed tall. In the split second of confusion, Leo swung one back hand fist up to the guys nose, there pushed him away. Into a trap.

Leo gasped for breath. That was fast. He won? Leo looked at his hands. The back of one of them had a little red smear; Leo looked up to see the angry third guys nose bleeding. He was strung upside down , so it barely spilled over his nostrils. Wow. Maybe he should train with you more often.

The game ended without him doing anything else. Lucky him. That wasn’t even sarcasm, he was happy to not be under threat of maiming again. For the time being, at least. When it was over, you ran through the brush to find him and practically jump on him. 

“Dude!” You shouted. “Okay, you didn’t see it, but at the flag— there was like, ten enemies— they charged at us but they didn’t see your traps, and then boom!” You shook him around by the shoulders for a little flare. “Annabeth laughed so hard. It worked perfectly.”

Leo smiled softly as you shook him, and stared walking him towards the forests edge. “Glad to be of service,” he snickered. “It was a little exciting on my end too. Your hand to hand came in handy.”

You squinted your eyes at him a moment. “You, uh, really like it with your hands?” 

Ugh. Leo went to pus your head away, but he forgot you were wearing a helmet. His palm connected with the hard metal with a slap, and it hurt him more than you. “Shut up.”

You giggled as you led him around. “Sorry. And uh, sorry for this.”

A trap sprung, sending Leo up my his ankles with surprising velocity. He designed it like that? Damn, he was good. On the other hand, maybe too good, since you were smirking at him upside down-ly. And he didn't have a fail safe to get out. Leo folded his arms, trying to look as serious as possible at you— as dignified as one hand be when dangling from a tree. “Very funny,” he said. “Get me down before somebody stabs me.” He thought he knew where all the traps where, when did you even do this? 

You shook your head, laughing a little. Leo’s dignity evaporated as he caught your smile like a virus, and started to roll his eyes. “You happy?” He taunted. 

You snickered, and spun him gently at his shoulder. Great. As he rotated around, he saw a bunch of other campers, thankfully the ones on his team. He got a full three sixty view of people walking up to surround him. “Hey, uh, you gonna get me down, or just let everyone gawk at me?” He asked as he circled back to you. 

Your cheeks folded in as you smiled coyly and with a half smirk. Your eyes met his almost exactly, eye level and yours right side-up. “They’re the ones who asked me to get you up here,” you admitted cheekily, your half smirk breaking into a full one. 

Leo’s mouth hung open for a second before he started to spin back away. “Hey, wait!” He started, paddling his arms in the air to try and spin back. You helped him out by turning him to face you, and Leo promptly started to swat like a cat. “What do you mean, I did all this for you to avoid this.”

You blocked his hands, and leaned closer to his ear. Medium close. Not so close you had to whisper, but close enough that nobody else could hear you or read your lips. Your hair almost brushed his face as you spoke, “it’s like hazing, idiot, it’s cuz they like you.”

Leo blinked. They tied him up by the ankles because they liked him. Just great. 

Before he could retort, Annabeth came running out of the treeline, breaking through the small crowd. “This guy did it!” She shouted, breaking the moment between he and you. Annabeth grabbed him by the shoulders, and pushed him like a swing. 

Leo thought she was addressing the team, but he wasn’t sure, given he could not see them. His view flitted between the tree canopy, the ground coming at him fast, and your sly little smirk. 

Annabeth swung him around some more. “It’s thanks to the tireless efforts of the Hephaestus cabin,” which, right away wasn’t super true. The effort was very tired. “That we got the chance,” Annabeth grabbed Leo by the shoulder, stopping him. The scene was spinning by the time he was steady, he was too dizzy for this. “To string those Ares and Hermes dickbags up and beat them like fucking piñatas!” Annabeth shouted, and the crowd cheered. “So special thank you to Leo!”

Leo’s face was hot. Partially because he was blushing a bit from the attention, and partially because all the blood was pooling in his head. The upside down crowd cheered and about half of it shouted “thanks Leo,” at Annabeth’s speech. 

While she had him grabbed, and the crowd gathered nearer, you came up beside him. “Not so bad, right,” you said lowly. 

“My brain hurts,” he answered. 

“But I bet your ego’s in good shape.”

Yeah, you were pretty right about that. Annabeth was still beside him, talking about the glorious victory to some campers. One of them was shadow boxing Leo’s chest in reenactment of what happened with a Hermes guy. 

The whole Leo hanging by his feet thing seemed pretty unnecessary, but… Leo pursed his lips as the commotion went on around him. It wasn’t so bad. Nobody was beating him up. The opposite, even, they were all celebrating and he was the artificer and trophy all together. You were laughing along with Annabeth’s story beside him, and stopping him from spinning. This wasn’t that bad at all. Leo wondered why he was bracing himself for the worst. 

Maybe he’d been away from camp too long. That might have been it. He’d forgotten the epic highs and lows of capture the flag. The definetly didn’t have that at the Waystation. Leo tried to shift his thoughts away from there to avoid the king of Calypso. 

The crowd slowly dissipated back to the field to undress their armour and celebrate. Leo swung gently as Annabeth turned to face you, “You’ve got this right?” She asked. 

You nodded, “yeah I’ll get him down.”

”I’m more than a damsel in distress,” Leo added. 

His friends both gave him a push, spinning him and sending his swinging in a pendulum motion. Fuck, the ground was spinning fast, and Leo’s head couldn’t catch up. “Assholes!” He complained. “You’ll give me a concussion or something.”

Annabeth snickered, “He said, distressed.”

”And damselly,” you added.

Ugh. Annabeth caught him, and steadied him again. The ground stopping spinning, but he was still woozy. All that blood in his head, probably. “Anyway, great job, tell the rest of your cabin, too. You earned those chores we’re doing for you,” Annabeth said. “I’m so sweaty in all this,” she gestured at her helmet and armour, “I’ve gotta change.” And then she was off. 

You nudged him once she left, “Yeah, these traps work really well.”

Leo grimaced. They did. The mechanism wasn’t that crazy, his cabin could rig them easy. “No need to test my craftsmanship, where’s the trust?” Leo asked, poking you. It only pushed him away and swung him a bit. 

You smiled, covering your mouth  but as you did. Once you took off your helmet, he could see the hair plastered to your forehead with sweat. You still managed to look good with all the grime, somehow. Leo quirked his brow. Not like, that good. What was he even thinking? The plan must have been infecting him, he was too in character. 

He looked at you again. You did look good. But not Calypso good, he reminded himself. The plan echoed in his head. 

There were still a bunch of campers around, plenty audience. Leo smirked, “we could make use of my position and get an epic Spiderman kiss,” he snickered. Leo imagined for a moment, all the times he’d asked Calypso to do that. The timing never really worked. He wasn’t upside down a lot. And she didn’t really understand what Spider-Man was, or why it was important. Leo winced. She once called the idea dumb. 

He glanced back to you. Oh shit. “Uh- wait-“ you were blushing a little, lips swishing side to side and looking generally uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean,” Leo started. Was that too far? Probably. You definitely did not want to kiss him for this plan, there were lines. He’d asked way too much of you. Stupidly. “You definitely don’t need to kiss me for this bit, I didn’t mean to be weird-“ he panicked. 

Your face was unreadable. Or maybe Leo was just bad at reading faces. Your lip swishing had turned into a Mona Lisa-esc half smile, with one corner of your mouth tugged down as you tried to suppress it. “Well,” you started. “We could… for the plan and all.”

Leo blinked. You seemed totally un-horrified. Shit, now he was blushing a bit. “Uh,” he said. Or maybe it was the blood that rushed to his head. “Thanks. Um, somebody should get this.”

”Right,” you said. “There’s a lot of people here, so they  might talk. But I’ll just take the photo.”

You stood there for a moment fumbling with your phone and getting the camera open. Leo caught glimpses of your face in his swinging, and he still wasn’t sure he crossed a line. You were a little blushy. Why, he could not tell. Nervousness, anxiety, the awkwardness of the whole situation, maybe. 

You pursed your lips, and steadied him by the shoulders. And then awkwardly stood there. Leo sucked a breath in through his teeth. This was already not going well. Should he even say anything? He dug himself this hole, at this point he should keep his mouth shut. 

You clasped your hands together. “Uh,” you said. “Like… right now?” 

Leo winced, smiling awkwardly through his teeth. “No time like the present? Unless you don’t want to,” he said. 

Your mouth contorted a bit, a weird little smile. Again, you hands couldn’t still and moved incessantly in their laced together swing. Then you looked at him. Like, looked looked. Eyes wide, you met his and then wandered up to his lips. Oh my gods what were you looking at. He’d be blushing if all the blood in his body wasn’t already in his head. You sparkled a bit, and a smile cracked on your puzzled lips. 

Leo started to speak, but you put your hand over the side of his face and his mind went blank. Were you actually gonna do it? Oh my gods. You paused, first to ask, “are you sure?” And Leo nodded, an upside down motion. 

You paused again, this time hesitation. Then lifted the phone beside the both of your heads, camera open. Leo saw his hanging curls reflected back on the screen, and then glanced back at you. 

And then you did it. You kissed him, and your finger started snapping quickly several photos off to the side. Wow. You had soft lips. He wasn’t expecting you to do it. Blushing heat crept over his head, and he didn’t know what to do with his hands so he mimicked your and brought one up to your chin, lightly touching you. Your skin was warm. Leo quickly closed his eyes once he recovered from the shock, and tried not to ruin the image. 

You laughed when you pulled away, and Leo was almost out of breath. His mouth hung open slightly looking at you. Was he that bad a kisser? Why were you laughing? 

You covered your mouth to giggle, and Leo wondered if he’d remember what your lips looked like. Obviously he would, but would he remember what just happened? It was a whole different context. He really didn’t think you’d do it; Leo kept staring slack jawed.

”You’re, uh-“ you snickered, “Burning up,” and pointed at him. Leo looked around, but for the life of him had no idea what you were saying. You laughed some more, and Leo almost wanted you to push him to he could swing away. 

You turned your phone back to him, and showed him the photo. It looked… so real. The kiss. It was strange seeing himself with anyone other than Calypso. Oh shit, you were his first non-calypso kiss. Is that… important? Of all people, even if it was fake, Leo wasn’t upset it was you. It took Leo a moment to notice that his hair was on fire in the image. 

His hands quickly flew up to pat out the flame. 

“Well, I’ve gotta go,” you grinned, words spiting out of you like a floodgate had broken. “Gotta rub this in the Hermes cabin’s faces. Post that on public story,” you said, typing something. Probably sending it to him.

“Are you gonna get me down?”

You smiled, covering your face a little. “You’re smart, you’ll figure it out,” you said, already turning on your heels and starting away. At first you walked, then after a few steps started to run. 

Great. Just great. Leo scanned the few people still around and called for help.  Some Aphrodite guy managed to cut him down with a pocket knife. Didn’t you know that him being smart meant he wasn’t going to get out? He built it specifically for that. Whatever. He did post it on his story, you were right, even if annoying. 

The kiss lingered on his lips. It was a physical memory. His actual memory was hazy, probably because of the blood in his head, but his body did remember. If he focused, he could almost still feel it. The sensation was unfamiliar. 

He was late to the victory lap of extra dessert. The dining pavilion was crowded with people from the winning team, and had already gathered plates full of magic food— as promised by Annabeth. Somehow she negotiate that with Mr D. How she did it was between her and God. Or… whichever god. Leo wasn’t sure. 

Everyone was already in groups and conversations. Ugh. Sometimes being late was akward. He quietly grabbed chocolate cake and horchata and scanned around for you. You ran off so fast, he had to check if you’re alright. Not at your cabins table… not with Piper… why’d you have to make yourself scarce? Was it that akward? Leo awkwardly scooted past his siblings to get a better angle. 

Ah. You were at the pavilions edge with a dessert plate piled high. Connor Stoll was leaned on the pillar beside you, and Leo could guess from a distance he had a weird little smirk on him. Leo liked his feet a bit. He didn’t really know Connor. You did say you were going to rub it in Hermes’ kid’s faces. 

Leo approached hoping you’d include him. Or at least not make it awkward. But the subject he wanted to bring up was definitely weird. And he couldn’t do it in front of Connor. It felt to urgent to just leave in the air, though. 

You snickered at something Connor said, and Leo came into range of the conversation. “You were pretty wild out there,” Connor said, cheeky smile evident in his tone. “I like wild.”

You stifled a laugh, and Leo cringed. Didn’t he just kiss you? In plain sight of many people, possibly Connor? Leo pursed his lips as he awkwardly sidestepped away. But close enough to still listen. It wasn’t like you guys were actually dating… but it’s not like Connor knew that. 

Unless one of your guys’ friends told him. But like. The more people knew the more likely it would reach Calypso. So nobody is doing that. 

“Wild, huh?” You asked, voice dripping in sarcasm. 

Leo found his courage again. He set his plate down on a mostly empty table, and walked up to you. He very coolly slid up and out an arm around your shoulder. “Hey Connor,” he said, suave but stern. Really nonchalantly. He just had to grab you and go. You probably weren’t into this horrible flirting anyway. 

“Oh shit!” Connor said, grinning at him. “Ah, I’m sorry. I totally forgot you guys were a thing,” he said, gesturing between Leo and you.

You cringed. He could feel it on your shoulders as you tensed. “Right, yeah,” you said. 

Connor’s grin closed into a soft smile. “Hey, then don’t mind me,” he shrugged, mostly looking at you now. “It’s been a long time coming, hard to believe you guys are finally together.”

Leo opened his mouth. Finally? What was that supposed to mean?

“Okay, bye Connor,” you said flatly, and forcefully pulled Leo by the arm away. His plan succeeded, sorta. 

You were dragging him rapidly away from his cake. “Hey, wait, my-“ 

“Nope, you lost privileges,” you scolded, and Leo shrunk in his skin. He put up little fight as you dragged him out of earshot of the pavilion. 

Leo pointed back meekly when you stopped, “I left my dessert back there.”

You rolled your eyes. You still had yours, which he now saw was full of a variety of things— from cake to different candied fruits. It was all in a pile, reaching heights off the plate. You dug your fork into a cake, tearing a corner off and flinging it at his face. Leo’s reaction speed was too slow, and it bounced off his cheek. A small spot of icing was left as the cake hit the grass. 

“You can have some pity bites,” you said, turning your fork over in your palm and offering him the handle. He took it graciously, and did take the charity. 

You looked away, and shifted from foot to foot as Leo snacked. “So, you’re gonna do that now? Pretend to be my boyfriend around everyone?” 

Leo’s cheek was stuffed with a chocolate. You seemed to have more pressing questions than he did. At least you didn’t seem weirded out by the kiss. “Well, we did kiss. That’s in public story. It’s not like it’s a big secret,” he shrugged. Leo’s mind wandered to Connor’s weird flirting. “And he seemed annoying, that line was dumb. I thought you might want saving.” He bit into a soft cake,  which barely needed chewing. He did anyway, to savour it. “I thought you may as well get some benefits from our deal, too.”

Your lips pursed, and he could see you bite the corners. You’re thinking face. “He’s not that bad, even if that was cringe.” 

“Oh,” Leo said. Maybe he shouldn’t have.

One of your hands flew to your cheek. “And oh Gods, they’re all going to think we’re together,” you said. You might have been taking to yourself, because you were not looking at him. Your eyes vacantly stared at a tree off to the side. He noticed the little bit of your lip curled into a smile. Maybe a nervous one. You hand shifted to cover your mouth, but he could still see it in your eyes. 

“Okay, whatever,” you said, tapping your fingers a fast your cheek and still covering your smirk. “We can go back and get your stuff.”

You were already walking, and Leo hurried behind you. “Are you… okay with that?”

You didn’t look back. “Yeah, that’s fine,” you answered, face obscured. Leo got to asking his questions on the way back.

Next

Hey so I know yeah super late update. I have a good excuse though. I was in mexico and then like that whole thing with the cartel rioting in a whole state happened and all the flights were cancelled j got stuck for a week. Like specifically they literally burnt down the plane I was gonna get on. Lucky me I was in another town but still like crazy shit. Then like it was exam week so uh. Now we’re here.

Angst coming eventually ✌️

As always if there are spelling or grammar errors lmk I proofread it really late

Taglist: @oneiratxxia10 @the-curious-sloth @leovereyna @aniahvol3

[piss-pumpkin]

hey it’s you! I follow you on quotev it’s nice to find you here too

a bit embarrassing because I have more cringe stuff on quotev that I don’t post here 💀

Anyway awesome

[piss-pumpkin]

☀️Training montage 💥

Leo Valdez x reader, chapter 4 of How not to get her back

Masterlist prev ~3.6k words

“Okay,” Annabeth started, hunched over her desk in the Athena cabin. You and Percy crowded on either side of it, trying to make sense of the blueprints and battle plans scribbled on countless papers. The two of you shared a quick glance as Annabeth scrawled another note. Silently, you both could tell— neither of you knew what she was on about. 

“Ares cabin and those asshole Hermes kids may have gotten us last time,” Annabeth said, head falling to her hand as she ran her fingers through her hair. “But on Friday we are winning getting that fucking flag.”

“Wisegirl, did you sleep?” Percy asked. 

Annabeth wiggled her hand like so-so, “Eh. Anyway,” she continued. “I came up with a plan to get them back, and make it bad,” she said, clenching her fist with malice.

You nodded along, “alright, what do we have?” 

She exhaled with a sharp laugh, and grinned as she began to explain. “I want Hephaestus on defence, traps on our whole leg of the forest,” she started. “Athena will divide between distraction and actual attack, Percy, you’ll go for the flag. Y/n, I want your cabin playing forward, but mostly running interference. I’m gonna get Hecate and Hypnos to totally disable them… I’ll have some bribes to make. And everyone else I want on a stronger defence.” Annabeth went on to ramble about humiliating those war mongering assholes. 

By the time she was done, she was writing more notes that neither you or Percy could read. With context, you could tell some of the drawings on her sheets were the woods, marking where the flag would be and some of the groups. In the middle of the forest near the flag were some scribbles of people upside down with red scrawled over them. 

You pointed to the drawings, “what are those?” 

“I want them strung up like piñatas for us to beat them back into place,” she grinned, clasping her hands together forcefully, and cracking her knuckles. 

Annabeth turned quickly, snapping her fingers at you. “That’s why we need Hephaestus, they’re got good traps. Y/n, I need you to go get your boyfriend to agree to be on our team.” 

You cringed hard, “ugh.” Boyfriend. She said the word with so much… you weren’t sure what. Malice? Condescension? Teasing? You sucked a breath in through your teeth as she started to smile at your reaction, her tongue pressing on the inside of her lips to suppress it. 

Percy rolled his eyes, “yeah, how do you think we feel,” he said, glancing at you. You looked down, not realizing your arms had contorted as you squirmed. Your hands quickly fell back to your sides.

Your head bobbed from side to side. “Whatever,” you managed. It was such a non response that they had to know you had no excuse. 

Percy put his hands up, shaking his head in slight surrender. “Hey, hey, no judgment,” he said, with squinted eyes and a crooked smile. Yeah, there was judgment. 

Under the pressure of both their eyes, you started to back away. “Hey, let me cook,” you defended, suddenly feeling the need. “It’s about the endgame. You guys can’t say shit, I remember what happened when you were fourteen.” 

Annabeth pursed her lips. As did Percy. “Okay, whatever,” she said. 

“Yeah, bitch,” you taunted back, sensing you’d won that. You walked back towards the door throwing peace signs and grinning. “You know what, I will go get him.” 

“Good fucking luck,” annabeth said, rolling her eyes as she started drawing battle plans again. 

“Oh,” Percy said, perking up. “I can ask Tyson to build some stuff, too, since he’s around.” 

Annabeth nodded furiously. Percy leaned down, gently kissing her head before he started to follow you out. The kiss almost embittered you. For all your teasing about years ago, the endgame did work for them. You could only hope the same. For all your talk, you couldn’t be sure. 

Percy glided to the door and held it open. No more time to ruminate on the game plan. You hurried through, nodding as a thanks and waving bye to Annabeth. She definitely didn’t see, though, as she was right back to her planning. 

                                      …

You barged into the bunker, and scanned around. Oddly, Leo’s main workbench was empty. Even stranger, Leo was sitting on the couch, looking up at you, a bit confused. 

You stared back with equal perturb. The last place you expected Leo to be was on a couch— or half of one, given it was sawed in the center— taking a break. He was huddled with a blanket hunched over his phone. 

“Hi,” Leo said, looking up at you like a guilty child caught with their hand in a cookie jar might. He flipped his phone down and gave you his full attention.

“Leo,” you said. “We need your cabin for capture the flag.”

Instantly, he groaned, phone falling off he couch as he covered his face “Last time I literally got skewered,” he said through muffling palms. “Like, there was a hole in my shoulder. Screw all of you for that.” 

Your brow flattened, “okay, well it’s not like we did that. And what if I said Annabeth has revenge planned, and your cabin is necessary.”

”I’d say what are you willing to give me, because Clarisse already asked and I said maybe,” he shrugged. Sensing your betrayal, he quickly backpedaled, hands in the air. “Not that… I care. I just wanted to be on the other side of the skewer.”

You folded your arms, “Okay, well, we can also stab you,” you said. The thought was amusing. Leo betraying them— possibly under threat of the Ares cabin— would make them all more likely to want to stab him. Skewer the filthy traitor. Had Leo considered this? You doubted it. 

“Convince me,” he said, leaning forward with interest. 

Ugh. You rolled your eyes. “You get personal revenge on whoever stabbed you? And you get to be in the winning team.”

He shook his head, standing up and discarding his blanket. It slid off the side of the couch half, ending up on the floor. “More,” Leo added. 

Ugh again. Leo was drifting over to his workbench, you couldn’t lose him to it and let him get distracted. Not at a pivotal moment like this. “Athena cabin does your chores for a week? And I’ll train you just in case they go for you again,” you pursed your lips, and idea turning over in your mind. “Maybe I’ll even stick with you during the game, give you personal protection.” Hehe. And excuse to hang around him. 

Something intrigued him. Leo perked up a moment, stopping his slide to the bench, and looking back at you. “You want to train me?” He asked hesitantly. 

“Is that a big seller?” You asked, head slightly tilted. “If so, then yes.” 

He sighed, “okay, deal,” he said, feigning reluctance. The corners of a smile gave away the fact that he was secretly happy about this deal. Maybe you gave away to much with the Athena cabin thing. You could have held off on that bargaining chip, maybe the training would have done it.  Leo cut off your line of thought, “can we start today?”

Okay, he was suspiciously enthusiastic. “Sure,” you answered tentatively., “Give me a second to change clothes.” You looked him up and down, his grease covered camp shirt and jeans. Was that the same grease from that stupid car thing? “Maybe you should change too,” you said, wiggling your finger up and down at his outfit. “Not as good to fight in jeans.”

Leo looked down at himself, and nodded. 

“Okay, arena in ten.” 

                                        …

You rifled through the weapon collection. Leo usually used a hammer to fight? You didn’t really know how to teach that. The basics of swords, knives, other blades and such would be easier, and maybe applicable if he felt like being the hammer guy. At the very least, he’d get practice defending against normal stuff. Yeah, that was a solid plan. And hand to hand would be a good place to start.

You fiddled with some celestial bronze swords, tossing them up and spinning them while you waited. The sun was high in the sky, and you knew you’d end up sweaty from this. Even if you didn’t do anything. Already you were beginning to feel the heat creep up your back and shoulders where the sun hit the hardest. 

Leo was walking along the path, you saw in the distance. His shirt was the same, but this time he had on some gym shorts. That was an improvement. 

Hmm. Training one on one with Leo. Maybe he was enthusiastic because the idea excited him the same way it did you. Maybe. You could pray to Aphrodite for it. For that kind of miracle. 

You waited, trying to look cool as he approached. The arena was vast and dusty, each step he took getting louder with the crunch of pebbles and packed gravelly dirt. Enough battles had been fought here to press the ground into itself, hardening it far beyond the regular  paths or forest floors of camp. 

Thankfully, it was mostly empty. A couple guys were slashing at dummies on the other side, but that was it. The bleacher stands to watch the matches were blank, you’d have no audience. Good. If Percy and Annabeth were teasing this morning, this could make them brutal.

As Leo bounded towards you, you noticed the tool belt hanging around his waist. His weapon stash. “Hey,” he said, catching up to where you stood.

Your lips curled into a smile as he greeted you, and to suppress it you pressed your tongue against your teeth. “Hey, Leo,” you grinned. 

“Oh, you are was too happy about this. You’re gonna beat me up, aren’t you?” Leo laughed skeptically.

“No, no, no,” you snickered, waving your hands around until finally settling on an x with your wrists to signal no. “The point is so help you, I’m gonna let you beat me up,” you assured, still grinning sheepishly. You should probably stop that. Or else he might guess why your actually giddy. 

You clasped your hands together, and asked what he wanted to work on. To that, Leo hesitated.

“Uh,” he started. “Everything? The basics?” 

Leo started to describe a few scenarios, and swung an imaginary sword through the air as he told you how he lost. You pursed your lips. Okay, Leo was novice enough to not know what he needs work on. Or he really does suck, and sucks at everything. 

You put your hand in front of him, blocking the swing from his pretend sword. your wrist clashed gently with his, probably the first of many fake blows to be exchanged. A smile cracked on your lips. “Okay, let’s just start with what happened last time. What led to you getting stabbed, we’ll talk about what to do better.”

”Okay, it went like… Clarisse was like—“ Leo started to act, and you did your best to follow his poor miming. Leo thrusted an imaginary spear forwards towards you, “and then I jumped back to not get stabbed,” he said. “Then I swung my hammer—“

You played along, acting out Leo’s part with a pretend weapon of your own, slowly swinging down towards his head.

Leo nodded furiously, “yes, yes,” he said, lips pursed as he tried to remember. That was his remembering face. “Then she—“ he put his arm out to block yours, “and honestly, I don’t know what happened next, I just was stabbed.”

Hmm. “Okay, so close combat,” you nodded. Mostly to yourself. “Is what we’re working with. Maybe you just need better grasp of the fight.”

You tapped your fingers against your chin as you formulated the strategy. Leo is good at playing smart, but up close he doesn’t know how. He’s good at traps and tricks, but not brute force. 

“Here,” you started. “If you’ve got somebody bigger then you up close, you won’t win with force. You have to play smarter, let me teach you a joint manipulation and like, weapon disarming,” you grinned. Yes. “Grab me by the arm,” you said, patting just below your shoulder. 

Leo complied, and you bit the inside of your cheek. You walked him through the simple steps. First, your hand on his, thumb over thumb. The difficult for you wasn’t in the move, it was in executing it in a timely manner. The urge to leave your hand on his hit you the moment you started. Next step, turn sideways and control the joint. An excuse to hold his hand. 

You took a solid few minutes to explain in great detail the importance of holding that hand. 

The next move, pressure on the elbow was less exciting. But as you started to push down there and up on the hand, Leo fell gently where you guided. Like a ragdoll. 

“Get that?” You asked, releasing him. Your hand snaked its way to his arm once he stood and recovered. “Try on me.” 

“Uh, okay,” Leo said. “So first—“ he copied your steps. First, his hand was over yours. But in slightly incorrect placement. You used your free arm to correct his fingers, move his thumb over yours until you could feel the pressure. You noticed even his fingertips were firmly calloused as you maneuvered them.

Leo focused intently as you did, and looked up when your hand retracted. A moment of eye contact was almost awkward in the situation. “Like this?” He asked carefully, not moving his fingers from where you left them. 

His hands were warm. Not in the usual sense a usual hand would be; it was as if the fire power he had was always on, always burning. He was hot to the touch. 

“Yes,” you nodded. “Now turn sideways.” 

Leo intently followed, turning, and remembering on his own the next step. His arm clumsily poked around yours to find your elbow. He lightly pushed down when he noticed the bone. “Here?” He asked hesitantly. 

You grinned, starting to hunch over as he put gentle pressure, “You got it.”

“I got it,” he echoed, not letting go. He grinned, holding your arm closely and tightly. “So your saying I could totally take you down right now,” he snickered. His curly hair hung loosely at his face, but he didn’t have the spare hands to tuck it away. God, you hated him. You had to try really hard not to grin.

You rolled your eyes. He still hasn’t let go. “Use your powers for good, Leo,” you chided, looking up at him with a lopsided smile. Your body folded slightly to follow your elbow, which he still held. That meant he was getting a high angle on your face, which was good. You shot him a look of half pleading, half teasing. “Pretty please.”

He shook his head. “Just because you asked nicely,” he grinned. “Let me do another one, but faster this time.”

And so you practiced more, until he got it right on instinct. Then you had another idea. Could be a winner, that new plan.

“Hey,” you said, “what if we move to the grass and add a takedown to that?” 

Leo blinked a few times. “Like… I take you down?” He asked hesitantly. His lips shifted from side to side across his face. 

You led him to the grass with a spring in your step. Leo was going to touch you. Beside the arena was the forest, and between that and the path was a small grassy patch. “Okay, do the same thing we just did, but then fake punch me and sweep my leg out,” you said, like it was easy. 

The grass under you was dewy and soft, a good landing pad. Looking around, it was still uncrowded, thankfully. The most company you had were a few forest nymphs at the trees edge who were sitting around together. The sun didn’t beat down quite as hard here, it felt. The greenery and slight dampness of the ground eased the sun. 

“Give it a try,” you urged, grabbing his shoulder again for the set up. 

Leo did the motion, then paused. One leg, he hooked around the backs of your knees. He tried to use some force to get you down, but it didn’t work in the slightest. A giggle escaped your lips as he tried. It was like a terrible stupid dance.

“Hey, don’t be shitty,” he defended, leg dropping back to the ground. His hands stayed around you for a few extra moments before he dropped them. “Correct me, asshole, don’t laugh,” he smiled, folding his arms across his chest. 

You shook your head as you snickered, “see how I do it,” you said. You went through the motions with him, and got in close. Heat practically radiated from his chest, it was easier to feel the closer you stepped. Like a second little sun was holding your hands. 

In one fell swoop, you swept his legs out from under him. You probably didn’t have to do it so fast just for training him, but there was something a bit irresistible about the idea. His eyes widened as he fell, opening his mouth, probably to make a sound, but none happened. 

You caught him, snaking your arm halfway around him, and grabbing his free hand.

For a few moments, he looked up at you, his eyes wide with surprise. He blinked. A couple times. Then cracked a smile. “What,” he laughed. “Are you gonna tell me I fell for you, or something.” 

Fuck, he was spot on. Though maybe you’d think it, rather than say it. Saying it felt bold. But now that he started it… 

You grinned. “Didn’t you?” 

“How could I not,” he smiled, not missing a beat. You still hadn’t pulled him up yet, by the Gods, you didn’t want to. It was quick comebacks like that that made you wonder, sometimes. Was there any truth to it? His smirk never wavered, “you’re pretty smooth, you make it easy.” 

Where did the quickness with it come from? Could he joke like that because there was truth to it, or because there wasn’t? Which would be easier? 

“Do you think flattering me will convince me not to drop you?” You asked, fingers tightening slightly around his back. 

He pursed his lips. “Well, I’m hoping. But don’t get me wrong,” he said, putting his free hand up in surrender, not even trying to escape your hold. “That doesn’t mean I don’t mean it.” 

You sighed a smile, hauling him back to his feet. “Try on me,” you suggested. 

His brain needed a few moment to reboot, as he just stood there for a second. Tentatively, he put a hand on your shoulder. “Like… for real?” He asked. “I don’t want to actually hurt you. I doubt I have the skill to catch you.”

His lips curled downward with hesitancy. The longer you waited to assure him, the longer his hand would stay on you. You smiled, biting the inside of your lip. “Yes, it’s soft grass,” you said, “and I know how to fall.” Like a rag doll, you thought. 

”Okay,” he said, still uncertain. 

Leo tried to mimic your speed. His foot was fast, but still imprecise. His ankle snagged the bag of your knee, buckling you but not in the direction he’d hoped. You made it easy, rag-dolled down.

Now, there were a couple things you could have taught Leo better. That became apparent as you fell. Firstly, he was still holding your shoulder. That in itself was good, he was controlling your fall, in theory. In practice, he was holding so well that when you went down, so did he. His balance was a bit flawed. 

The last thing you saw as you fell was Leo tumbling down after you, and straight for you. Your eyes pressed shut as your free arm shielded your head. 

Oof- your landing on the ground was fine, but the additional person that fell on you was less. Acutely, you felt bony ribs crash straight into yours, knocking the wind out of you with a wheeze. That skin and bone motherfucker. His elbow thankfully missed your arm and face, but his knee crashed right into your shin. 

“Leo, you motherfucker,” you said, stifling a strained laugh, fighting the weight on your lungs. You slapped the grass with a groan to get the violence out. “You are all bones.”

”Only for your mom,” he grumbled. 

Without opening your eyes, you felt around for his face, and pushed it aside with a grin. “Dickhead,” you laughed. 

The weight on your chest shifted, and you opened your eyes. Oh. Leo rolled off beside you. Instantly, you missed the feeling, even if it was crushing, you were far more hollow without it. Far too light. 

Your head lulled to the side to look at him as you laid there. Leo was sat up now, much less damaged by the ground. Because he didn’t hit the ground, you figured. You laced your fingers together and rested them on your chest. In a small way it was a substitute for him. 

“Seriously,” you said, gazing up at him. “All bones.”

Leo shrugged, smiling sheepishly. “That’s my brand,” he started, “scrawny, but in a hot way. Like a chad way. Where are my sun glasses, they’d really make my point.” 

Your plans flew up to cover your eyes. “No they wouldn’t,” you groaned, trying to keep an annoyed tone through your smile. 

He flicked your head, “I can tell you love them.” 

Before you could respond with a denial, Leo started to stand up. You glanced at him through your hands, and noticed he was holding one of his out for you. To help you up. You pressed your lips together through a small smile. Gods, you hoped you didn’t blush. 

Your fingers gently locked with his, and then it was his turn to haul you up. 

“Go again?” He asked. 

“Duh, of course.”

Next

Guys I’m a week late posting this even tho I wrote this in November. I just never got around to editing it I’m so busy and lazy.

Author lore: if you follow y/ns directions you might learn something. I actually teach martial arts on the side idc if you don’t know any. Y/n does.

Taglist: @oneiratxxia10 (let me know if you want to be added)

[piss-pumpkin]

🧡Love me again🌑

Leo valdez x reader, chapter 3 of How not to get her back

Masterlist prev ~3.9k words

Leo Valdez had to get dragged to cabin three. He sat, entirely unaware of the time, in his bunker, hunched over a workbench. And then came the pounding at his door, and the it’s opening. 

“Dude, wipe the grease out of your ass and get out here,” you called, leaning on a workbench.  

Leo groaned. What time even was it? He swore they weren’t going to cabin three until after dinner. He looked back at you, then to his project. “Aren’t we supposed to eat first?” He asked hopefully. 

You scrunched your eyebrows and shook your head, and looked at him like eh was stupid. Leo instantly but the inside of his cheek and looked away. “Yeah, we did. It’s like, seven, dude,” you said, crossing your arms. “Get a clock, I fucking swear. Or look at your phone.”

Oh. Leo looked at his project, then back at you. Then down at his hands. They were covered in grease and metal shavings. But hey, he was building back up his scrap metal callouses. “I’d just ignore the clock, you know that,” he said absentmindedly, tightening a last screw. 

Leo stood up, and tried to wipe the grease off. It seemed to spread and multiply, covering his pants and his palms in one go. Ugh. He wouldn’t even be allowed inside if he spread grease like a virus. But it seemed to follow him wherever he went. And he wasn’t even ven close to done…

“Nope,” you said, shaking your head. “I can see you thinking. Get changed and get out here.” You sat on his half of a couch, and started idly scrolling on your phone. 

Ugh. Mind reader. He started to wash his hands proper, and Leo sighed as he scuttled to his clothes pile. Which, he hadn’t gotten around to building dresser for yet. Really, it didn’t make sense. He only slept in the bunker if he was on crunch time to finish something, or really focused and passing out. In those cases, work is the priority, not clean clothes. But— he eyed the back of your head as he dug to find a clean shirt behind the couch— some people kept coming in and demanding he not be ratty. 

Leo glanced at you again as he fished for pants. “Are you gonna…” he started, meeting your eye as you glance back at him. “You know, privacy.”

You waged your hand and looked back at your phone. “I’m not looking. And if I leave, you’re gonna get greasy again, I know it.”

Ugh. Leo made a face at you behind your back. Then he looked at the floor in fear you’d turn around, having sensed his tongue out at you. It was hard not to stare at you while he changed, weirdly shy. Maybe he should put an actual door in the bunker. But when’s this situation ever going to come up again? Hmm. Leo pursed his lips as he scrambled to put on pants. Even the idea of you turning around made him blush a bit. Just a bit. Nervous habit. You’d probably just say his legs were too skinny. And you could totally make fun of him for them, you were way stronger. 

Leo looked down at his belt buckle, still limp in his hands. How did he get sidetracked like that?

“Okay,” he said, starting for the door as he buckled. “Let’s go.”

                                        …

Because of Leo’s delay, they were the last to get there. He followed behind as you opened the door without knocking. 

Your hair bounced a little when you walked. Leo suppressed a smile, it must have been the spring in your step, excited to see them. 

Leo forgot that Percy got a Nintendo Switch in there. Has he helped mod it? He’s lost track of that kind of thing. Percy and Annabeth were on his couch playing Mariokart, and Piper was leaning behind it playing a ds game. On closer inspection, Annabeth also had an ds out, and she pressed the buttons with her elbows whenever she could spare a glance away from the tv. Leo squinted to notice it was Pokémon, and as Annabeth pressed a button Piper grimaced and slapped the couch. Annabeth was pretty good at multitasking. 

Nico and Will were gathered in the corner laughing about something. 

Leo watched happily your smile as you started to wave, “holaaaa,” in a horribly American accent. Maybe he was stupid for trying to put this off. Your energy was infecting him, and he started to grin.

The room looked up, except for Annabeth who took advantage of Percy’s distraction to win the race. “Hey!” 

The gang came around to greet them. You gracefully enjoyed the attention, but Leo still wasn’t used to it, even from his friends. Even at the Waystation he had to be dragged into the spotlight. 

“Augh, it’s been ages,” Annabeth told him. “Leave your hole more.” 

Leo smiled crookedly, with only one side of his lips. “Yeah, I know,” he said sheepishly. “I lose track of time, you know how it is.” He’d once seen her spend twelve hours drawing blueprints. Because he was also there doing the same thing. 

The conversation broke off in segments, you were with the boys on the couch, and the girls were standing with him. Leo glanced at your group, then back to his. Was it weird and too girly that he was closer with them? Leo silently huffed about it. Not that he could complain about having good friends, though.

Annabeth grabbed his shoulder, and Leo tensed. “Hey,” she started, tone soft, “heard about the breakup, I’m sorry man.” She sounded actually sincere. Leo might have been pleasantly surprised if he wasn’t appalled she even knew.

Leo turned his head to see Piper looking sheepish and averting eye contact. Annabeth’s hand quickly retracted as she stepped aside and glanced between them. “Was that a secret?” She asked quickly. “Well.”

Leo’s eyes went wide with shock and horror as he stared Piper dead in hers. Already. They hadn’t been at camp a day and they already knew? About the biggest dumping he’d ever experienced? Piper spoke through her teeth with an awkward smile. “Well, I had to fill them in on the situation with you and Y/n,” she said. 

A sound like nails on a chalkboard cut through the room, and Leo’s head whipped around to follow it. You were talking to Percy on the couch, and had gone silent as you stared Piper down. That sound came from you? What did you have to be so horrified over, he was the embarrassing one. 

You coughed to recover your throat. “You told them that?” You sputtered. “Oh.” 

Your head rigidly craned back to Percy, and Nico gave you a disapproving head shake.

That was weird. Leo turned his attention back to Piper and Annabeth as you resumed your conversation elsewhere. Both of them had looks something like pity, and something like judgement. He threw his hands up in surrender, “hey, a guy’s desperate,” he said. It came out as a worse defence than he imagined. 

Piper rolled her eyes, “oh, we know.”

As the night went on, Annabeth was crowed the best gamer, but it was kind of close. Nico and Will left a little early by means of shadow travel, so who knows where they really went. Piper clocked out around midnight. Reasonable. 

Leo glanced at the clock. Getting late. Ugh. You were on the other side of the room talking capture the flag with Percy and Annabeth, so Leo was all by his lonesome in the corner. He drifted to the window, dragging his hands down his face to feel the warmth and wake himself up. 

Then he saw. Leo’s drifting suddenly gained intent as he got closer to confirm it. He threw his hands down on the windowsill, gripping it hard as he stared down. 

A pot of blooming moonlace sat on Percy’s window sill. Because of course he still had that. The flower of Calypsos island. Leo’s hand twitched into a fist as his face scrunched, embittered by the sight. The flowers glowed dimly, nearly drowned out by the indoor lighting, but against the dark background of the window, he could see it. Fuck. For a moment he missed when he was on the island with her, when they first met— the time he accidentally got her to fall in love with him. It was easier when he wasn’t trying. 

Leo cursed himself quickly after the thought, sighing as he leaned on the windowsill. Was he really missing the time before she was free? That was low. Far too low. Leo heaved a heavy sigh. What was wrong with him? Was he that desperately lonely? Pathetic? He dropped his forehead to the windowsill tiredly, hair brushing against the moonlace petals. Almost like she was touching him. 

A pair of hands that on his shoulders startled him out of the slump. “Alright, you’re done,” You said. 

Leo turned, head rising quickly as he tried to notice you. Right. Leo sighed, almost laughed. He was a terrible fake boyfriend, whining about his ex right in front of you. 

You started to lead him by the shoulders behind him away from the window— and the flowers— and towards the door. “We should go, everyone’s tired anyway,” you said gently. Leo surrender control to you, putting up no fight as you steered him. 

Did you know why the flowers meant? Or could you just sense what he was feeling like a damned mind reader. Leo didn’t know. Maybe he was just being obvious. “You’re so right, my sweetie pookie love,” he smiled.

The soft exhale of your silent laugh brushed his shoulders, and he tried not to grin. “You can cut the shit, Leo,” you said. He didn’t see, but heard the smile in your voice. “Nobody’s recording.”

”Can’t I just want to be a better boyfriend to you?” 

There was a brief pause. Maybe he should have used the word fake. At this point, he thought it was implied, but maybe not. Maybe he weirded you out. Gods, that ship probably sailed a long time ago. This whole arrangement was weird. He had to thank you sometimes for putting up with him. 

As the two of you stepped outside, you finally answered. First you hummed, “maybe you do need more practice,” you said. 

The sun had long set over camp, and only dim torchlight lit the path. You came up beside him as you started down Percy’s porch steps. A surprise punch lightly connected with Leo’s arm as he walked. Leo hit back on your shoulder gently.

The trees formed a dark wall surrounding the area, warding off any night adventures. You started to walk ahead, following the path back to the rest of the cabins. 

“I’m not tired,” said Leo, jogging to catch up. He swallowed as he looked over at you, your side profile a greyish, blueish blur in the dark. Your lips curled slightly as you caught him looking, and instantly he looked away. Don’t weird them out even more, dummy. 

You shook your head. “I figured,” you said, still and edge of gentleness in your voice. “You didn’t seem tired, you seemed sad.”

Mind reader. He pursed his lips, a few steps walked silently aside from the dirt and pebbles under their feet. “You could tell?” 

“It wasn’t difficult.”

”Can we go somewhere?” That was his olive branch. If there was anyone who he could trust, it was you. Why not just tell you his feelings? You were nice about that kind of thing. Leo fidgeted with his hands as he waited for an answer, scratching at his palms and moving his fingers around imaginary screws. When he focused, he could almost feel their weight and texture. 

You blinked, side eyeing him just a bit. “Where too?” You asked.

Oh. Leo was a little a bit surprised. He swallowed. He hadn’t thought of a place, he assumed you’d say no. “Uh,” he said, to full the air with something. 

You laughed a silent laugh. Though the pressure of a decision was relieved quickly. You’d walked and walked without destination, and gotten to the end of the path. Which meant you were at the lake docks. Looks like the docks were where you guys were going. 

“Here?” Leo asked, pointing meekly ahead. 

You flicked his arm playfully, “works for me,” you said. Moonlight shivered over the waters surface. Tall trees forming an almost protective barrier around the water, and forming the only difference between blue water and darkened blue sky. 

Leo suppressed a smile at the way you walked. You stepped hesitantly onto the dock, then more assured when you realized it wasn’t wet or slippery. He only noticed he wasn’t moving when you looked back expectantly at him, gesturing with your head to follow. Right. The two of you were moving. Leo hurried along. 

The water was nearly to the docks edge, its gentle waves almost splashing where it could reach him. Leo followed you out to the edge, standing beside you as you looked out on the scene. You made seeing the view look so much more sophisticated then he did. Like… you were really taking it in, breathing the air. When he looked around he just forgot to walk. Maybe you just did everything with more grace than him. 

Leo backhanded your arm, “I could totally push you in right now.” 

Instantly you backed up and bent your knees in a protective stance. “I would not be happy,” you said levelly, raising your arms in case you needed to block.

Wow, not a lick of faith in him. Leo laughed, “I won’t, I won’t,” he said, mirroring your stance. “Just know the thought crossed my mind.”

”Ugh,” you scoffed. “I’d bring you in with me.” 

“But I can warm up way easier then you,” Leo taunted. 

You made an annoyed hum sound, and Leo grinned. 

“Don’t do it.”

”I said I wouldn’t!” Lao laughed, standing up straight and growing his hands up in surrender. “Truce.” 

You stood up more hesitantly, then mirrored his gesture. “Okay, truce,” you agreed. 

With that out of the way, both of you were free to just… relax. Leo looked out over the water again, the way the moonlight lapped and reflected on the tide. It was nice. 

He sighed, stealing another glance at you. And of course, the dumb mind reader you are, you were already looking at him. With that… look. It was concern, maybe. Or something else nice. Something that, in all honesty, sometimes made him feel worse. The idea of somebody being worried about him never sat quite right with him. 

“So, tell me what’s up,” you said. Said, not asked. You knew there was something. 

No use hiding anything from you. His fake partner. People in love tell eachother everything, he thought. Or… he wasn’t sure now. “The flowers he has in his window are from Calypso.”

Your face shifted, and Leo couldn’t read the change. Your lips scrunched, “oh,” you said simply. With a tone he couldn’t decipher. Your eyes flickered down for a second, but that was all. Sometimes you were hard to solve.

You sat at the docks edge, and gestured for him to do the same. He did, beside you. Leo hunched, leaning himself on his elbows as you took off your shoes and dipper your feet in the water. Your legs kicked under the surface a few times as your goosebumps faded. 

“Waters warm. I wouldn’t have hated to be pushed, actually,” you said, and then looked at him. 

He almost regretted his restraint. But… Leo pursed his lips. Now wasn’t the time. Leo played silently for you to just… be real with him. No jokes right now. 

“You know,” you started. “Do you really think… if your plan works,  that things could just… go back to normal with the two of you?”

Oh thanks the gods. The one thing more difficult than having a tough conversation right now would be putting on jokes instead. “I’m shooting for better, not back to normal,” he said softly, fidgeting with his hands. Play with the screws, Leo. In his head, he was assembling a little car. 

Your knee nudged his, and didn’t pull away. Leo flinched, the contact unexpected. But but unwanted. He didn’t pull away either.

You glanced at the knees, then back to his eyes. “But… still. She said it was over. How better could it be after that?” 

He pursed his lips. “Well,” he started. But he lost it. Calypso… loved him. Maybe still does. But he was certain that she loved him before. “I have to try, right? Even if it might not work? We agreed to that.” 

You threw your hands up, “hey, I’m not trying to back out of the deal, just… curious,” you said. 

It was a double edged sword. Leo wanted to talk about it. But that meant he had to talk about it. “She’s the only person who’s ever loved me like that… I can’t give up on her. Even if she wants to give up,” he admitted. He did so rather pathetically. But at least he was self aware. “I need her.” 

“Lots of people love you, Leo.” 

“But not like that,” he snapped back, crossing his arms. “I know, I have plenty of friends, but… it’s just different with somebody like that,” he said. Leo looked over at you, and that somewhat concerned look you gave him. Your eyes softened his attitude instantly. “I don’t know, maybe you don’t get it. You actually have like, I don’t know-“ his train of thought was going off the rails.

What did you have that he didn’t? Something. Something important that he couldn’t figure out. There was some component to a being whole person that he was missing, and you clearly weren’t. Leo swallowed as he watched you, your eyes reflecting the light from the moon and the water. You were good, and he wasn’t. That was the whole of it. If he could build the pieces he was missing, he would have. But he suspected it was more complicated than that. 

He hasn’t said anything in a while. What was he even talking about before? Right, right. How you don’t understand. Leo scratched the back of his neck, “it’s just… have you ever felt anything like that? You don’t really date,” he said, looking at the water. You don’t need somebody else to be whole, was what he really meant. 

He didn’t mean for that to sound as mean as it might’ve, but you didn’t seem too hurt. “I do get it,” you said simply, meeting his eyes intensely. “But Leo, there are…” you paused, thinking for a moment. “Plenty of ways to move on, and plenty of other people to love you. Like that.” 

Leo snickered. There wasn’t. There just flat out wasn’t. You could say all this so easy, and believe it too, because you had more love than he did. Maybe you didn’t date, but people loved you far more than him. That was it. And he didn’t resent you for it, but he did envy that. If there were people out there who wanted to love him, he would have met one of them during his years in foster care. Or on the streets. Or wilderness camp. Or camp half blood. The only one he’d ever met that gave him the time of day was Calypso. 

Plenty of fish in the sea, you say. He sighed, “you say that, but it’s hard to find.”

”Makes it sweeter when you do, though,” you said. “And being alone is alright, you know. I mean, I do it.” 

But you’re more liked than he is. “Do I sound too dramatic?” Leo chuckled. “If I say she’d the only person who’s ever loved me?” 

“Yes,” you replied instantly. Your joke tone vanished, though, as you put a hand on his arm. “Maybe so far, yeah, but not forever. There’s other people Leo.” You looked away, down to the water. Leo hadn’t noticed you pull your feet up from it, and sit on top of them. Probably to warm up. “I really think,” you started. “That you should try to move on.”

”I will if this doesn’t work,” he sighed. As promised. “But if she loved me once, then I know she’s capable. If she loved me once she can love me again. That just makes sense.”

You pursed your lips, folding your arms and rubbing your palms across your skin. 

“Wait, are you cold?” Leo snickered. “What happened to the water being warm, and not minding being pushed in?”

You gently hit him across the chest. “Oh, shut up. Push me and you die,” you smiled. 

Leo rolled his eyes, and stood up. “Let’s go back, you’re damp,” he said, offering a hand. You took it, and he was almost knocked off balance by the force with which you pulled yourself up. Maybe it was intentional, and your last attempt to push him in. Hopefully last. 

“Okay,” you said, starting to walk with him. The docks creaked with your steps, wood sounding hollow beneath you. Leo looked back once more at the scene before he followed. The wind knocked through the trees gently, rippling the lakes surface. 

Your arms did have some goosebumps. Leo lagged behind a second as he took off his sweater. “Here, dumbass,” he said, tossing it at your face. “Bring your own next time.” 

As it hit you, you groaned, stumbling back and pawing at your face. “Motherfucker!” You yelled, a bit loud. “What is in this shit!” You held your hand at your face a moment, keeping the hoodie there while you stumbled a few paces around. 

“What?” Leo asked, coming up in front of you and holding his hands in the air in case you tripped. Oh. “Oh shit,” he said. “Uh, I’m sorry. I forgot that was in there.” 

You pulled the screwdriver and battery packs out of his pocket, one eye still closed. “Bitch,” you said, throwing the sweater over your shoulders as you put it on. “Straight into my eye.”

At least he knew you weren’t too mad at him. You still wore it. “Sorry,” he said again sheepishly. 

You rolled your eyes, “Bitch.” But he caught you smiling at him. You didn’t think he was really a bitch. Leo cracked a smile. 

He let you keep the sweater as you got to your cabin. Might still be cold. 

When Leo got to the Hephaestus cabin, his siblings were all asleep already. Which didn’t surprise him in the slightest. Leo sighed, finding his bunk and flopping down on it dramatically. With you gone and nobody to distract him from things, the weight of everything started to crush him again. 

Leo rolled onto his back and idly started scrolling on his phone. When. He saw. Something quite. Interesting. 

Out of habit, the first place he looked was Calypsos account. Just to check. Just to see. And see, he did. He saw her profile, her bio, her pictures. Which was not of the usual, because yesterday he was blocked. 

Instantly Leo was wide awake, eyes flying open to gawk at the screen. Oh my gods, she unblocked him. That had to mean something. Oh my gods. Leo stared for a while, memorizing her photo again. So. Was the plan doing something? 

Next

I’m such a fucking procrastinator. Took me a like to write like 400 words of this. I am going thru it. Or I definitely was when I wrote the last part of this. I am going to take it all out on y/n and punch them when they’re down.

[piss-pumpkin]

🎨 Oil Painting☀️

Leo Valdez x reader, Chapter 2 of How not to get her back

4.4K words Masterlist prev

“Y/n, no,” Piper said. 

You winced as the gentle tide of the lake pushed you back towards the dock. Piper didn’t pay your predicament much mind, her eyes were probably closed under the sunglasses. You maneuvered your hands over the floats edge to paddle yourself back to her and anchor the two of you together with your foot. “Man, I know it’s bad,” you said, starting to justify. “But hear me out.”

Piper sat up, her sun bathing interrupted. Her mouth fell open as she tilted her shades down to shoot you a pointed look. “You did not just say that,” she chided, shaking her head. 

You did just say that, though. “Okay, listen,” you started. 

Piper groaned, but was ready to listen. This was your chance for the pitch. Or… not even pitching the idea, you weren’t even too fond of it, yourself. But this was your chance to at least make yourself seem reasonable. 

Early summer sun beat down on you through the clear sky. The lake was quiet, most of camp still not having come yet. Piper was an exception. Her school wasn’t done, but her exams were, so she just left. Lucky you. If she’d come a few days earlier, maybe you wouldn’t have even been in this whole Leo situation. “Firstly, nothing about this was my idea, he begged me to go along with it,” you clarified.

Piper groaned, hands flying up to cover her face. “Y/n, you’re a sucker,” she whined. “Why would you ever say yes to that?”

You shook your head, waving your hands in the air, “Because I’m a sucker! Like you say, I’m weak!” You retorted. 

She sighed as she listened, head falling into her hands. 

“But it’s fine, he’s going to do this for a week and then get it out of his system, it’s fine,” you waved your hand in dismissal. “It’s not like it’s actually going to work, you saw how done she was with him.”

Piper cringed, “that is true. But she’s also a bit crazy, so who knows.” Piper ended the sentence with a splash at you. 

“Hey!” You said, using your hands as a poor shield. 

The two of you were drifting again to the dock, and silently agreed to a truce as you both started to paddle away. Though camp wasn’t crowded, there were a few people on the shore, and privacy was nice. 

Once closer to the lakes center then its edge, the debrief continued. Piper went on the offence, “don’t you think fake dating him while he’s just broken up with her is capitalizing on him being…” she paused, looking up as she fished for the word. “…Distraught.”

You pressed your lips together, squeezing the side of your plastic float for a moment. The thought did cross your mind. “Well, I’m not trying to do anything,” you said, head tilting back and forth. “I said no at first, too.”

”Uh, huh,” she rolled her eyes. Or, it looked like she did behind the glasses. “Sure.”

Now it was your turn to break the unspoken truce and splash her. “Hey, it’s true!” You said, hand skimming the water to get her face. The water soaked her mostly dry hair, soaking it over her shoulder. 

“Bitch,” she laughed. 

“I realize how it seems, but he said it wasn’t going to be much different from how we usually are,” you shrugged. “He’s just going to be obnoxious on Instagram, or something. The plan was a bit unclear, to be honest.” 

She made a face at you, looking off to the side for a dramatic eye roll as she scrunched her lips up. 

“What, what is fucking face?” You taunted, pointing at her with one hand and readying the other in the water in case a splash was needed.

Her kaleidoscope eyes fell on you again, and in moments like these, you felt her Aphrodite power. It was like she could see through you, or zero in on all your love problems. ”Well, if fake dating him isn’t too different from the usual, what does that say about you?” 

Your hand idled as you pursed your lips to consider it. That was a decent question. For as unrequited as your crush was, you weren’t starved of attention. Maybe that’s why you never fought for him, because being as close as you were was only a few steps away from dating anyway. Even though he was taken. You hummed as you considered.

“Yeah,” Piper said, agreeing with herself. “Choke on that one for a second.”

You did. 

All that said, when you drifted back to shore, you had plans to help Leo out. You could choke on your delusions more later. Leo texted you to meet him in the woods near his bunker, with vague mention of a plan. So after you got dressed, you followed the forest path until the small clearing beside his door.

Oh Gods. The hood of an old blue, somewhat rusty Honda was open, exposing the engine. You’d have guessed he was doing some work on it, but a single glance at him revealed otherwise. Leo was wearing those stupid pit vipers, and hunched on the ground shirtless with his hands in a grease pan, seemingly painting himself. A couple black hand prints dragged up his arms. What the fuck? 

You stifled a laugh and it turned into a cough. “Leo, what the fuck are you doing,” you wheezed. 

He his head whipped up, and he grinned when your eyes locked. “Y/n, awesome,” he said, standing up quickly and starting towards you. He left a trail of the grease and oil on the grass where he walked, his foot prints indenting the blades with blackish marks. 

On instinct, you took a step back, given his palms were black with oil. “Dude, what the fuck?” 

He grinned, spreading his arms wide apart like he would hug you. “what, you don’t like it?” he asked. 

You winced, glancing between the car and him. The black smear marks were like a really bad tattoo sleeve, and there were dripping streaks down his chest. The waistband of his pants was blackening too as it collected there. Seeing it on his face or hands was normal, but he didn’t usually bathe in it. 

He lowered his arms, grinning at your averse reaction. “Okay, so,” he started, putting his hands up in surrender then lowering them to his sides. Hopefully that meant he wouldn’t grease attack you. “I was gonna post some hot pictures, and I was thinking-“ him thinking was never good, “-you know that like greasy, rugged mechanic type look?” He raised his eyebrows as gestured for you to follow him back to the car. 

Sighing, you complied as he led you to stand over the exposed engine. “Yeah, I guess,” you said, glancing down. Leo was an owner of that look, even if it was more dorky than rugged on him. Not that you minded. This was still dumb, even if it was endearing. 

“Well I think it’s a good look,” he claimed proudly, puffing out his chest. He tried to nudge you with his elbow, but you quickly dodged out of the way, and raised your arm to block just in case. Leo laughed, shaking his head, “Sorry, sorry, I keep forgetting.”

You looked him over again, and his weird streaky arms. With a breath sucked in through your teeth, you furrowed your brow. “Yeah, it’s uh… not great, man,” you said, crossing your arms. “Like, it feels like ‘insane person covering themself with oil,’ not like-” you grimaced as you started to say it, “-handsome mechanic.”

The corner of Leo’s lips tugged up as you uttered the last part. Nodding, he closed the hood and looked around. His eyes landed on his oil pan, and he picked it off the grass, and started walking to the back of the car. You followed at a distance, still wary he might forget he’s drenched.  

“See, this is why I need you here for this,” Leo said, hopping up to sit on the trunk, setting the pan down and tapping his fingers against the metal. Black spots marked the trunk where he touched. “I would never have known I looked dumb,” he grinned, shrugging. 

You groaned, hopping up to sit beside him with a good distance between you. His hand prints were already leaving bugger marks on the car. “Believe me, anyone could tell you how dumb this looks,” you chided. 

“Will you fix me?” He asked, hands clasping together, like he does when he’s begging. 

You stifled a laugh, “If it could be done, I would.”

He snickered, and lightly kicked your leg where it hung off the trunk. “Oh you wish,” he said, shaking his head. “Come on, fix this,” he said, holding out his fully painted arms. 

You glanced down at the oil and grease pan between you and sighed. Yeah, this may as well be happening. You turned your body towards him, crossing your legs. “Okay, fine. I’ll make it look… better,” you groaned. “If you’re really married to this idea.”

He pumped his fist in the air, “yes,” he exclaimed. “Make me a rugged mechanic man.” His grin quirked, smudging the few natural looking spots of oil by his lips and cheek. Those marks might have been gotten through the repaint. 

You grimaced. This was endearingly stupid. “You can’t have it just dripping down you or all over you, that looks dumb,” you explained, suppressing a smile, “you gotta wipe that shit up, and we start from scratch.”

Leo hopped off the trunk and rooted around in the backseat. Some of the motor oil dripped onto the cushions, leaving black stains. When his head popped back out, he had a somewhat dirty roll of paper towel in his hand, and shot you a crooked grin. 

His smile was unfortunately infectious. You fought it off, but a small smile grew over your lips. He looked so stupid. At least the oil was barely in his hair. The ends of a few strands were stuck together, but besides that his curls were in tact. 

He leaned with elbows on the trunks edge as he started to wipe it away his forearms. Some of the grease didn’t want to budge, so he rubbed the skin a bit raw. 

Your hand covered his quickly, despite the oil. “Dude not that hard,” you say. “Get some soap or something.”

Of course soap was too good for him, or something. He shook his head and insisted on doing this the quick and old fashioned way, and rubbed his arms a bit red. 

“Also, you gotta lose the sunglasses,” you added quickly. 

His jaw dropped dramatically. “Dude, no, they’re awesome,” he defended. 

“They so aren’t,” you said, raising your brow. “Come on, you asked me to help, this is the best help I could give you; get rid of those.”

”Nope, nonnegotiable,” he said firmly, but quickly cracking a smile. 

You rolled your eyes as he sat back up on the trunk and started to wipe his chest down. This was your life now, somehow: helping him get covered in grease and telling him not to wear pit vipers. You watched as he tossed the dirty paper towels aside by the back window. He’d gotten a lot of oil off his chest, and watching him you had to admit, he was weirdly toned. Probably because of how scrawny he was, the muscle that was there was just well defined. There were a few black smears over his abs, but it was mostly gone- oh my gods stop staring. 

“Gods, you didn’t even get it all, how much did you use?” You asked, pointing at his stomach and the stains. Yeah. That’s the reason you were looking. You agreed to this, dumbass. 

Leo laugh, putting down the last pice of paper towel. “I dunno, a lot?” He snickered. “I didn’t have your guidance, I wasn’t sure.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever, man,” you said. “I guess let’s do it right this time. I paint, right?”

Leo nodded happily as you dipped your fingers in the oil pan and pursed your lips. For a brief moment you looked him over— this time about the plan. “Arm,” you said, making grabby hands. 

He nodded, and rested his forearm up in your palm. His skin was warm to the touch, naturally, as a side effect of his fire power. You held him lightly to steady him as you painted little smears of oil along the skin, trying your best to make them natural but deliberate, channeling every eighties greaser car-guy image you could conjure. The next arm was the same. 

You held him gently, though with an attempt at firmness. His arm was light in your grasp, he must be holding it up for you. Steady, your thumb gently rubbed up his forearm and left a black streak. And then again. You looked low to avoid eye contact. More than anything you needed him to like being held and touched by you. Your fingers twitched against his skin. Gods, stop thinking about it so much. Stop thinking. You swallowed as your fingers trailed up his skin, and he let you mark him with total trust. That had to be intimacy of some form. 

He watched you work with faith and awe, smile creaking up his face as he saw the magic happen. Your artistic vision for his arms seemed to far outshine his. 

You pursed your lips when you got to his torso. Sure, this may as well happen. “I’m trying to figure out how we should do this bit,” you confessed, looking him over again, eyes lingering on his abs. 

He snickered, “I trust your judgment, follow your heart, paint me good,” he said, and spouted a few more positive encouragement after you stopped listening. You did the same, dipping your thumb in the oil and spearing a couple streaks on his chest. 

You kept delicate control of your face. Don’t be weird. The premise of fake dating, and the fact that he was single now might have changed your view. That much revealed itself with each stroke of your thumb and forefinger. This is something you would have enjoyed, but not revelled in before. You swallowed as you bit your cheek to maintain yourself. Piper may be onto something— something changed. For you, at least. 

You glanced back up to Leo’s face as he spoke, and cracked a smile. “Come on, get the abs too, they’re awesome I’ve been flexing this whole time,” Leo said. 

You stifled a laugh, getting a few drops of oil spattered on him and your camp shirt. “Fucking why?” You managed. 

“Well, so you see what your working with, you know this is what it’s gonna look like during the photoshoot, so I want your prep time to reflect the real thing,” Leo rambled, talking with his hands.

“You are crazy,” you said covering your mouth with your hand, accidentally getting a little grease on the edge of your lips. Maybe it’d look like he kissed you. “What car work could you even do to get grease or shit there?” 

Leo opened his mouth. A few moments passed, and he shut it. He pursed his lips, “well, the realism doesn’t super matter, it’s about the art of it,” he rationed. 

“Holy shit,” you laughed. “Fine, you can have some there. Carefully, you dipped your fingers again and painted lightly, leaning your head lower for a better veiw. It felt a little different painting there, like your hands should be lighter on the skin and shouldn’t linger. But linger you did, even if your touch was faint. You could definitely tell he was flexing. That stupid idiot.

It was a little disappointing when you finished. “Okay, turn around,” you instructed, “I’ll get your back.” 

“Oh my gods, I didn’t even think of that,” he said, scooting around away from you.

You snickered, “I can tell. You aren’t stained or dripping back here.” Fuck, his back had the same problem. He his scrawny ass was weirdly toned. Fuck this dude. Because his back was turned you could wear a more expressive face, pursing your lips as you looked him over— mostly to assess where you should paint. 

Same old thing, you get the grease, and mark him. But as you finished, an idea occurred to you. “Oh my gods, should I leave some handprints so she thinks I’m all over you,” you snickered. 

Leo whipped his head around, and for a moment you thought you fucked up before you saw his grin. “Dude, yes, you’re a genius, do it.” 

You laughed, shaking your head. “Yeah, alright.” You reached once again for the oil, reluctant smile on your lips as you dipped your whole palm and fingers in, and rubbed your hands together to spread it around. “Alright, I’m gonna make it look real, we’re telling a story with this shit, we’re selling it,” you said, determined. 

Leo nodded, “hell yeah.”

Fuck it, may as well make her jealous. If you’re doing the plan, you may as well commit. This was… what you get. You’re the fake partner. With his back still turned, you put your hands around his neck and shoulders, pressing your palms firmly down to make sure they left the stain. You trailed your hands down a bit once on his skin, giving the marks a smear of movement for realism. A crooked smile was tugging at your lips, and you tried suppressing it. 

“Alright, turn back around,” you said, repainting your hands in the grease as he slid to face you. Well shit, you had to have a normal face now, he could see. 

You me eyes flickered to his, he was also grinning. Probably for a different reason than you, but sure, you both looked a little too happy. You could smile all you wanted. 

“Nice,” Leo said, looking down at the marks around his neck and chest. 

“Nice,” you echoed. With him facing you, your hands found his sides and you stuck the handprints there, mimicking the action of pulling him closer to get motion blur. Once that was done you pressed one hand on his arm just below his shoulder, other hand on his other arms wrist. What was the story there? Maybe you were pulling him in, or dragging him by the arm for something. 

Maybe pulling him into a kiss despite the grease and grime. 

Leo snickered, “oh yeah, I totally see what you’re going for.” 

You nodded happily as you refilled the grease, “oh yeah, I’m cooking here.” There were two more hands worth of spots you wanted to get. You pressed your hand gently to his neck and jaw as if you were going to pull him in for a kiss. Be normal about this. You couldn’t help but crack a crooked smile, and only hope you weren’t blushing. You didn’t look him in the eyes. One hand done, one more to go. 

“Can I get your face?” You asked. “I wanna do this,” you started, mimicking the motion on yourself. Your hand covered as if to squeeze your cheeks together from a grip at the jaw. 

Leo nodded, “oh yeah, I don’t care at all. You’ve seen how bad it gets sometimes, that’s nothing.” 

 You reached for his face. 

“-Wait!” He blurted out, dodging and laying his back flat on the back window.  You shot him a curious look as he sat back up, but he answered the unspoken question quickly. “This should totally be a selfie I post.” 

Ah, of course. You shook your head, laughing a little, “right, right, naturally.” 

He fumbled around wiping his own greasy hands on his pants before he fished around his pockets for his phone. Your eyes lingered as he unlocked it. His lock screen was a photo of him and Calypso. You winced. They were both smiling in the picture, cheeks pressed together with her arm reached up taking the photo. Her dirty blond hair flowed loosely around her shoulders, almost looking tangled with his.

“-You ready?” Leo asked, twinge of curiosity on his voice. 

Oh shit, the camera app was already open. “Yep,” you nodded awkwardly, looking back down at your black stained greasy hand. You scooted closer next to him on the trunk, and glanced up at the camera. He held it just like Calypso had, it was the same angle. 

You and Leo’s faces looked back at you. Close together. Your composure broke as the awkwardness dawned on you, and you laugh lightly, “god, this is such a dumb plan.” 

Leo lowered the phone and snickered with you, meeting your eye. “Yeah I know,” he laughed, “but a guys gotta try.”

Of course. Leo wanted to try. You sighed, pressing your lips together as you smiled. “Yeah, I guess.” 

Leo raised the phone again, and you looked up at the two of you in the mirror image. A small grin crossed your lips. For what it’s worth, Leo’s plan would have a good outcome. If Calypso ever saw it, she’d think he’s taken and over her, and not message him again even if she wanted to. Plus she might get jealous, that’d be fun. 

You leaned your head closer to his in frame, almost like the picture on his lock screen, and put your hand on his jaw to squeeze his cheeks together as you posed. Heh. In a stroke of genius improv acting and with a shudder of your heart, you turned your head just the slightest bit, and kissed his cheek near where your thumb rested as he got the picture. 

He blinked a few times, and you pulled back away when he lowered the camera, and caught a little blush on his cheeks as he grinned. “Oh wow, that sold it,” he said, looking at the picture.

He turned the screen to you. He was right, that looked real. Maybe it felt real. At least a bit, to you. Your eyes fixed on the image for as long as he showed it before he turned it back and opened Instagram. The photo was a fleeting glimpse into… something. Not just something, but something you could feel in your heart like acid. It was a lot like his lock screen. “Good,” you snickered, “because that is all the acting you’re getting from me today.” Which was probably a lie. If he asked, then more acting you’d certainly provide. Yeah, you’re a sucker. Piper was right. What a time to realize. 

He posted it to his story, and you grinned. For better or worse, you were committed to this bit now, people would see that. Including all your friends. Gods, this would be weird to explain. Piper was practice, maybe, she’d probably be the most critical anyway. 

But anyone who saw that and didn’t have context would think… what would they think? Maybe they’d jump to the right conclusion because know Leo well enough to know he’s crazy. But the less observant viewer would just think… that you’re dating. Guess that was the goal, after all. The thought was acid like.

“Okay, now that we have that, want to get some of me just being super hot?” He asked, offering the phone to you. 

Back to reality. The consequences would be considered later. You couldn’t help but shake your head, “of course,” you smiled. 

The following hour was spent playing photographer. You managed to get him to take some photos without the sunglasses on, lucky for everyone. He posed fixing the engine, and got in a few actual repairs that you documented, for extra realism. 

He took a few selfies with it too, with you posed in the background. In the one you ended up posting, you were laying on top of the car wearing his pit vipers as he took the picture from the ground by the engine. It was a cute picture, despite everything. The photos walked the line Piper pointed out. The line of uncertainly and greyness of relationship. The photos could go either way, close friends or dating. That wasn’t too abnormal, but Piper made you consider everything. 

When you left the car, you walked together until he broke away to head to the showers. 

And Aphrodite must have been smiling on you in that moment, because it was only after he left that you got the call from Piper. 

Her voice boomed chopping through your phone speaker. “Oh my gods, what the fuck was that!” She exclaimed, and you held the phone away from your ear as the noise hit you. “I just saw his story, Jesus fuck.”

You let out a pained snicker. “Just… doing the plan,” you said, opening Instagram to double check how bad the story was. Yep, it was still you kissing him. You suppressed a smile, feeling your cheeks heat up as you watched it. You sure were bold an hour ago. 

Piper kept talking, but you spotted her at the dining pavilion. She sat with a couple other Aphrodite kids, and aggressively forked a plate of spaghetti as she ranted. 

You watched her frown and jaw drop at her phone as you hung up on her. She started typing angrily, not noticing you until you slide onto the seat across from her. 

“Oh,” she said, looking up and deleting some words from your chat. “Hey Y/n.”

”Hi,” you said, suppressing a smile.

You could see the palpable disappointment colouring Pipers face. It was as if she knew she didn’t need words to express this, so she kept quiet. Enough was said by her squinted eyes and pursed lips. 

You met her stare, trying not to break and smile. But if her disappointment was clear and obvious, so was your awareness. 

The silent argument didn’t need to continue, clearly, since you had gotten the message. Piper rolled her eyes and scoffed, ending the staring stalemate. “You’re an idiot,” she said. “Did you see the group chat?”

You hadn’t. Your thumbs tapped away at your phone as you opened it, and saw the plans. “Oh, hanging out at cabin three on Friday?”

”Yeah, Percy and Annabeth are coming that morning,” Piper said, twirling her pasta up with her fork. “Good way to start the summer, right?” 

It was. It felt like ages since everyone was together. You’d seen everyone separately, but the camp halfblood side of the gang in the same room was rare after the quest ended. And even more difficult after… certain casualties. 

You shook your head. “Yeah, that’ll be good,” you agreed. 

Next

The car in this chapter is mine. I don’t know shit about cars so I just wrote mine in. But mine is drivable and not shitty.

[piss-pumpkin]

🌹A stupid plan (and a stupider promise) 🥀

Leo Valdez x reader, Chapter 1 of how not to get her back

4.5k words

masterlist

It was a deal with the devil. The devil, being Leo. And Gods, was it stupid. 

The sentence was as follows— will you date me? The sentence itself was delightful, charmingly simple in its delivery but with a world of affection behind it. When separated from the context, it was great. When contrasted with the events surrounding it, the sentence lost nearly every scrap of that quality. 

“Will you date me?” Was asked on the floor of bunker nine. Not like he got on his knees on the ground to ask, like how somebody might in a romantic movie, it was just that he fell off the couch. 

The couch itself was very easy to fall off of. You weren’t sure when Leo or his siblings had to gotten it, but in the time from acquisition to present, it had been subject to some sort of butchery. Half the couch was left. It’s yellowish cushions were sawed in half straight down the center. The slanted legs wobbled when provoked, and stuffing piled on the floor where it leaned. And you sat upon it, looking down at him with the hint of a smile— pure instinct, nothing logical— and considered the proposal. 

Consideration was the latest mistake in a long line that led to this moment. 

It was only that morning that you’d gotten the call from Leo. A call, because he wasn’t yet at camp. Summer was young, only the first few days had passed since schools end. And yours was the first to finish. The rest of the gang had one more week until classes officially ended, so you were by your lonesome at camp. 

And Leo wasn’t supposed to come for a few more days. His life at the Way Station needed him a bit longer. His plan was to divide his time between there, with Calypso, and here, with the rest of you. 

That had already been a sore spot with you, never having liked that relationship. Leo seemed to be the only one blind to his own discontentment when he was with her. The best of times for him had been when she was off at band camp, and he was distracted from missing her. Besides that, she was all consuming and draining, it seemed. And it wasn’t just your jealously, the others agreed. But he resisted every attempt to help him, insisting all was well. 

Sure, all was good, he was just miserable. Your suspicion was that he was too used to that state to recognize it. Maybe this was a slight improvement from being alone and miserable, so he stayed. But it was anyone’s guess, that was just yours. 

The subject of his relationship was definitely a sore spot, maybe a bruise that was pressed on each time she was mentioned. Until the call. 

Vibration woke you under your pillow, and you groaned. Fuck, it was early. Hands groggy and uncoordinated, you shuffled around for the phone. The light stung your tired eyes, but the caller ID read oil change, meaning Leo. 

Sighing, you answered with a half asleep hello. 

“Hey, Y/n,” his voice crackled on the other line. You blinked away eye crust trying to focus. His voice was off somehow. “Are you at camp?” 

You nodded, then realized he couldn’t see you. “Yeah,” you said, clearing your throat to try and sound conscious. 

“Great, I’m coming early,” he said. The more words spoken, the easier it was to place the off-ness. He sounded crackly, it wasn’t the phone speaker. His throat was scratchy and a bit shaky. 

You hummed in response. 

“Uh,” he started, hesitating to get the words out. “Calypso and I broke up.” 

Now those words, were unexpected. Your eyes opened, the sentence sobering. “What?” You asked. Not that this wasn’t a probably good thing, just that it was unexpected. They broke up? Leo was the king of denial. Oh gods, he’d never break up with her. So she had to be the one to do it, and he was obviously heart broken. 

“Guess I’ll be around all summer after all,” he tired to joke, but it more sounded sad. 

“Are you alright?” You asked. The question was more of a formality. He obviously wasn’t. You knew him well enough to tell. 

“Well,” he said, and then left it at that. 

“Well,” you agreed more confidently. Well indeed. 

A small smile infected you. As sad as he was, this was a long time coming, and you probably be good for him. But you couldn’t act too happy. But in the long run, yeah, this was a positive. 

And he’s single the first time in like… over a year? It had been a while. 

God, have shame, you got the news two minutes ago. Wherever that thought was going could wait, there was a grace period for this sort of thing. Even if you’d had a crush on him for ages. Whatever. 

Leo cleared his throat, now obviously raw from crying. “Well, I’ll be there soon, just giving you a heads up. Oh, and uh— I haven’t really told anyone yet besides you and Piper, so… I don’t know don’t make a big deal or anything…”

“Alright, hurry to camp,” you say, sitting up and wiping your eyes. “And tell me everything when you get here, okay?”

He sighed on the other end. “Yeah, alright. Bye Y/n,” he said, punctuated with a hang up. 

Hmmm. You stared at the blank phone for a few moments. Calypso broke up with him. He’s here early. 

There was a more wicked part of you that thought he’s single, your single, the summers just starting… The evil of that statement was something you had to squash. You’re his best friend, you reminded yourself. And your job is to make him feel better and help him get over this; tell him he’s too good for her and she ain’t shit anyway. Or, if he’s not quite there yet, you could tell him nicer stuff. Though that came more difficult. 

Sure. Yeah. This may as well happen. 

                                            …

Leo arrived at breakfast. This was noteworthy for a few reasons. Firstly, the glasses. On his face were a pair of the most obnoxious, shiny pit viper sun glasses you’d ever seen. You couldn’t see a bit of his eyes under the blue and green tint of them. Made him look like a douchebag. The kind of guy you’d never talk to. 

He walked up to the dining pavilion strangely confidently. Leo cruised past his table and straight to yours, sliding down beside you in a somewhat disruptive manner. Camp wasn’t yet crowded, most of the summer campers weren’t here yet, but he still got a fair amount of looks. His elbows hit the table as he leaned in. “Hey,” he said, trying to sound his usual Leo self. 

This was an illusion you could obviously see through. His voice was still a bit shaky, though much recovered from earlier. 

“Hi,” you answered, suppressing a smile at his nonchalance. As if he didn’t call you crying, like, an hour or two ago. “How are you?” 

He grinned and shrugged, a king of mixed messages. “A little bad,” he said, grabbing a bit of food from your plate.

You rolled your eyes, standing up. “Come on, get your own,” you said, offering a hand. 

As he took it, you hauled him up with force, sending him stumbling a step. His dark curls bounced as he regained his footing. 

You started walking with him to the magic food and dishes. “So,” you started, nudging him a bit. “What happened?” 

He grimaced as he reached for utensils. “Ugh, I’ll tell you later,” he sighed. “I’m hungry first, I didn’t eat this morning— I left in kind of a rush.”

Leo wanted to tell you in the bunker. Made sense, that was his little sanctuary. You followed him into his and his siblings lair, so to speak. But Leo had more adopted it as his. This was while he holed up to build the Argo 2, and since then where he festered asocially when he was ensnared by a project. 

And projects were everywhere. Your eyes wandered between countless contraptions, finished and unfinished. A few workbenches lined the back wall, on them were blueprints and small scrap metal pieces, some of which were welded together. Lying against the wall were a bunch of larder scrap pieces and pipes, celestial bronze and various other metals. A welding booth in the corner had half a go kart hanging out of it, that was new. And so was the sawed in half couch at the less workshop-y part of the room. What he did to the couch, you’d have to ask. 

Leo walked straight to it, collapsing face first on the leaning side, his lower half slinking to the floor. “Y/nnnnn,” he groaned. You guessed he was free to be as dramatic and sad as he wanted, now that nobody else was around. 

You sighed, sitting on the elevated side of the couch half. “Alright, spill, what the fuck is up?” 

His head sunk into the cushion, his sunglasses riding up his forehead. “She broke up with me.”

Oh shocker! You didn’t say that. But you thought it. Not that he was bad for her, just that he was never going to be the one to do it. “I guessed, considering,” you gestured at his whole state, “this.” Leo was half sprawled on the floor on his knees as his arms cling to the couch. 

He lifted his head to shoot you a faux annoyed look. He had to know you were right, though, considering he sighed away the annoyance in a second. “Fair enough. It was just… so out of nowhere. But she said that she’s felt like this for a while, but-“ he bit his lip, maybe started to chew it. You wished you could see his eyes as he looked up at you. By the pit vipers had fallen to cover them again. “But she didn’t say anything, she just… told me it was over,” he said, voice again starting to stumble and shake. 

Heartburn struck you. Not in a medical sense, just that seeing him like this hurt some nerve of yours. Your face fell and twisted in thought of what to say. Words were lost on you, any happiness at his breakup dashed by sympathy for the moment. “Just like that? After all this time?” You asked softly. “That’s so… mean.”

He groaned, and buried his face in the cushion again. Leo’s head bobbed up and down as he tried to slam it, but it came across more like a wiggle. He started to talk, but it was muffled. 

“Uh, can’t hear you,” you said, kicking him gently on the side where you could reach. His body was slowly sliding off, but he was still clinging to the couch. 

He rolled into his back, looking up at you upside down as he started again. “I’m just-“ he started, words catching in his throat. “I guess I wasn’t important enough to try and make it work. Or for her to say anything, or try to fix things. I would have fixed it if I knew something was wrong, but she didn’t tell me!” His hands flew in the air for emphasis. 

You pursed your lips, hearing the strain. Curious, your hand drifted to his sun glasses, and gently lifted them off his head. Leo didn’t resists, letting you take them as he pouted up at you. 

Your face fell harder when you saw. As suspected, his eyes were red and puffy, and once again starting to glisten. Him and his stupid feelings. You could curse yourself for being happy about it. You chewed the inside of your mourn to ease the nerves. 

He let you take the glasses, but he must not have wanted you to see him like that for long. Leo wiped his eyes with his arm and tried to clear it up. He held it there, covering his eyes as he complained, “Y/n, was the whole relationship just for nothing then?” He asked shakily, but a hint of malice or sarcasm. 

This was an exchange you understood. Totally vulnerability in his words, so he needed some other way to cover up and hide, hence the arm and the glasses. Sighing, you slid the glasses on your forehead to keep them for him. 

You had to speak tactfully, so you thought for a moment. Leo didn’t need to hear how he’s better off without her right now. But what did he need to hear? You quickly lamented that Piper wasn’t here yet. Maybe her daughter of love instincts would kick in here and she’d say just the right thing, charm him into feeling better. You didn’t have that sort of power. 

“Leo,” you started carefully and sincerely. “It wasn’t for nothing,” you said. 

He grumbled, but clearly wanted to be reassured, because he didn’t cut you off. So that meant you were in the right track. Alright, don’t mess this up. 

“Leo, you gave that girl a life, you know she did love you. Her leaving now doesn’t mean it was for nothing, you both got a lot out of it.” Your hands waved in the air, like you were trying to draw the words out. “Sometimes people outgrow each other, or their goals change, or maybe she just wants a change.” That reasoning might have taken all your emotional intelligence. Hopefully he didn’t need anymore from you, because it was used up. And that was all your manners, too. You didn’t even say she sucked.

It takes a lot of strength to leave out the part where she didn’t treat him well at all, or kept trying to leave him to go be somewhere else even when they were together. Or how their relationship was built on saving her and like, a week of talking, not actual connection. Or how her age was a weird topic that Leo wouldn’t listen to anyone on. You know, you did great for not saying any of that. 

Leo groaned. “I just wish she cared more,” he said quietly. 

You winced at his soft tone. “She… she did care.”

“I just-“ he managed, but the sentence caught in his throat. “I just want to fix this.”

“Emotions are harder to fix then machines, unfortunately,” you sighed. Your arm reached out, but made no contact with him. You wouldn’t usually be shy to touch him, but now it felt like a greater distance between you then just half a couch. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do once it’s over.”

A few machines hummed dully in the background whenever a pause happened. It was a bit nice, not being in total silence. Leo sighed under his arm, a huff like a tired dog. “Maybe I can fix this,” he said dejectedly. “We were together for so long, and you’re right, there were good times. I’ll just… give her some space then we can talk about it.”

This was not the direction you wanted this conversation to go. Thankfully, Leo’s arm made sure he couldn’t see your face, which was now contorted in thought and judgment as you tried to find a way out of this. He had to get over her. This had to be done, this whole relationship had gone on far too long. Think. And don’t mess up. Your hands clenched around the couch cushion as you sat up straighter. 

“Leo, no,” you said, unintentionally as if he was a pet to scold. “She said it was over, what you have to do it just be sad for a bit then try to move on. I’m sure she’s doing that,” you shrugged your shoulders. 

Eye contact all at once made you want to soften your words with sympathy. He peeked out from under his arm, a deflected look. You pursed your lips, feet beginning to tap against the metal floor as his wife eyes met yours. But subtly, he stopped looking sad. His brow contorted, and his pupils darted down. He was thinking, those were his gears turning.

You powered through, “She made it clear she’s done, that makes it unfixable.”

Leo hummed, and you hoped the words got through to him. “But what if-“ he started, and instantly you knew they didn’t. You braced yourself for the worst of his desperation. “What if I could fix it, actually,” he started, tone picking up optimism as he spoke. It was a hard contrast from the crackling of his dejection before. You could almost smile as his attitude lifted your own. 

Stay focused. Leo kept going, “Yeah, okay hear me out,” he said, sitting up and turning around to face you as his hands grew increasingly animated. Nothing good ever followed the words ‘hear me out.’ Leo was starting to smile now, “what if I can get her back,” he said, leaving a dramatic pause for effect. “Think about it, I know her better then like, anyone. She probably just… wants some space. That’s fine. But you’re right, she did care about me, even if it seems like she… doesn’t right now. The fact that she did is proof that she can again.”

Oh good lord. You sucked a breath in through your teeth as he kept going. 

“I just have to fix it, I know I can. We’ve always fixed thing between us before, whenever she wasn’t happy.” 

How often was that? Was there more you didn’t know? 

”So we can fix it this time, too. I just have to remind her that she loves me.”

You winced and brushed your hands off on the couch. In grasping it this whole time, your palms got sweaty. Gross. “Remind her she loves you?” You echoed with an air of distaste. “Leo, this sounds crazy. She broke up with you, no.”

”But what if yes?” He asked cheekily, rolling onto the floor. His back slid into the cold metal and his hands soared above his head as he gestured wildly. “Okay, how do I do it. How do I get her attention, remind her she likes me?” He asked. 

“Dude, you don’t,” you said flatly, arms crossed as you looked down at him. 

“She just has to see me and wish she was with me. What if she got jealous?” 

“Dude, no.”

But it seemed like no was now off the table. The idea had formed, and now there was no going back for him. Fuck, did you ever fumble. If only Piper was here. Why did she have to arrive later? Leo was barreling at full speed into a bad plan, whatever it may be. And it seemed like you were powerless to stop it. 

Leo grinned up at you, “what if she saw me living like, the best life ever this summer, and just wished she was a part of it?”

You shook your head, an instinct reaction before your brain could form a response. “Leo, or you could just live a good summer and not make it about her?” You offered, but it was futile. 

He shook his head right back. “Y/n,” he said, voice dulling from the enthusiasm for a moment. His head rolled slightly away from you as his eyes wandered to his hands above. Once again he shielded himself from you. “I know it seems like a long shot, and it’s hard to understand,” he began. His hands fell to his chest as he tapped them against him shirt. “But… I have to try. I love her, she loved me. If I don’t at least try, then… I’m giving up. And I just can’t, not when it comes to her.”

Jesus Christ, you wished he’d say that about you. Oh shut up. Your first thought was one you should keep quiet. 

He looked at you again, a reluctant smile on his lips. “She’s like, the only girl who’s ever even looked at me.”

You bit your tongue hearing that one. “Leo… there are other people in the world that care about you,” you said. And it was a gambit. His spiral of scheming had paused to offer a bit of realness. This was the sentence you had to make count. 

“Yeah, but,” he said, struggling his shoulders on the floor. “Not like that. I have to do this.”

”Leo, come on.”

He sat up, and met your eyes. “If it doesn’t work, I’ll give up. And it’s not like I’m going to be weird or anything, I’m just going to try and get her attention. If she doesn’t bite, then it’s over.”

Well, at least there’s that. And you had the feeling Calypso wouldn’t bite, that girl was tired of him. You weighed his idea back and forth in your mind a moment. He would try whatever this is, it wouldn’t work, and he’d get it out of his system. Maybe this would be done in a week or two. You sighed, “try for like, a week. Then it’s done.”

He nodded happily. “Deal. If it doesn’t work, say ‘I told you so,’ call me a loser, everything. But until then, help me out?” He shot you pleading eyes, and you were weak.

You rolled your eyes. Okay, that was a contract you could manage. Feed his delusions for a week, then actually help him get over her. “Okay,” you sighed. “And when this doesn’t work, we are going to move on.” 

As much as Leo knew that was an option, he wasn’t one to plan to failure, at least not today. “Okay, what’s the plan…” he started to speculate. “I have to live a great life, and make sure she sees.” He looked up at you, snapping his fingers as punctuation. “She still follows me on everything, I’ll just post a ton while I’m away from her.” Leo pressed his lips together. “Well, she doesn’t, she blocked me, but she still follows me on alt accounts. That’s something,” he said hopefully. 

Gods. You rolled your eyes. Sure, not weird at all. To suddenly start posting everything you do right after the breakup. With the hope that she’s going to stalk him on her alt. “Alright,” you nodded along. This would pass soon. That was the silver lining. 

“Yeah, I’m like cool. Maybe I dress nice,” he said, counting the steps of his plan. “I’m with friends, she wished she was there too.”

”Does she even like us?” 

Leo made an akward face as he waved his hand. “Kind of,” he said. “Like… it’s complicated. That doesn’t matter. Or maybe it does…” he reconsidered and thought. “Maybe I need a new partner so she gets a bit jealous? Or at least like… something. Make her wish it was her, since she doesn’t really vibe with some of you guys.” 

Some of you. You suppressed a smile. Leo was delusional. None of his friends really got along with her, not after the relationship. And how she cursed Annabeth. That was crazy. 

You considered that for long enough that the second part of the plan caught you by surprise. “What?” You managed. This was a whole different type of weird. “Leo, you can’t get a shitty rebound for this, I won’t let you,” you stated. 

“Oh, no, no,” he said, waving his hands to say no. “Not like for real, Calypso just has to think I’ve got somebody. I’m not going to play someone, that’s mean.”

What you wouldn’t give to understand Leo’s brain sometimes. You shook your head, ”And Calypso won’t just think your in a shitty rebound. And think—“ you waved your hands and softened your voice, your best Calypso impression— “‘oh wow that’s so pathetic.’ Or think ‘oh he’s over me already? Good thing I left him.’” 

Your attack was entirely ineffective. Leo just shook his head, pointing up at you from the floor. “She’s not going to think like that. I know her pretty well. She’ll be jealous.” 

Then something happened that you didn’t initially consider, but probably should have. Leo paused, and put a hand on his chin as he pondered for a moment. “I just need to figure out who…” and then, he looked at you. Oh gods. “Y/n….” He started, trying to sell you.

“Nope.”

”Please,” he grovelled instantly, looking up at you with puppy eyes. “Think about it, we always hangout anyway, all this involves us just… posting about it more. You’re the perfect person for this, Calypso used to think there was something between us when we first got back because you and I were so close.”

”She what?” You choked. This was new information. That he never felt like sharing earlier. What? In other words, you were basically ‘the girl he told her not to worry about.’ What? Your face was a bit hot, hopefully you weren’t blushing. Unfortunately, you were definetly smiling. “Still- still no,” you said. “That’s…”

You pursed your lips. Stay strong. 

“You know it’ll just be like a week, and barely anything different then we normally do.” Leo flipped around onto his knees from his back. “Will you date me?” He clasped his hands together like prayer, or maybe begging. Will you date me? Those were words you wouldn’t be opposed to hearing from him. But under these circumstances? 

Well… it’s like the plan. He’d do this for a week and get it out of his system then move on. You could feel yourself folding. He was looking at you too sweetly. And you had the added benefit of… you cringed. You could pretend to date him, and make Calypso jealous of you. Which she apperantly already was. You tried not to smile at the thought. If their relationship wasn’t dead, Leo turning around and dating the person he told her not to worry about would be the final blow to kill it. And you got to fake date Leo. What would that look like? 

Hmm. You considered it, and he noticed. Hope grew in his eyes as he stayed silent, clearly not wanting to say the wrong thing and ruin his chances. 

You might have your own motivations. But if that helped his process… yeah, you were weak. 

You grimaced. “Okay,” you said finally. “But if it’s weird then no.”

”It won’t be weird!” He quickly added. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

He was gracious, and very soon began to scheme some more on potential plans. Hmm. So, you’d be the prop. But there were upsides. It could work out for you, if played right. Maybe he’d get over it and then… ugh. It was hard to feel good about that thought. The idea that you may be taking advantage of his breakup. 

That wasn’t what you were doing. You were asked, you didn’t volunteer. And nothing was going to happen. Yeah.

It was a deal with the devil, fate sealed. 

Next

howdy. new fanfic time. Updates should be weekly but I’m lazy. Also I’ll be so fr with you I do not have this shit planned out like I have some scenes I’ve got some ideas but the whole theme whole thing is 😬😬 we’ll figure it out.

It goes without saying, I’m a shit editor, if you see spelling errors just lmk.

[piss-pumpkin]

How not to get her back (Leo Valdez x reader)

Reader is gender neutral (they/them, y/n)

Main cast aged 17-18

Godly parent unspecified

Fake dating, friends to lovers if all goes well (things go wrong), pining, slowish burn situationship type angst, but also shenanigans, there’s a fair balance

Started 23/12/2025

🌟🫐 Summary 🍯☄️

Your crush on Leo has being lying… not quite dormant, but on the back burner since him and Calypso got together. But when they break up just as summer starts, things change. Sure, he’s not over her. Sure, you’re his best friend. And sure, you’re part of his ploy to get her back. But this might be the moment. What could possibly go wrong? Or maybe right… (but probably wrong if we’re being real)

☀️🍊Table of contents 🌊🌙

A stupid plan (and a stupider promise)

Oil painting

Love me again

Training montage

Benefits

Leo makes bad choices

The blues (shade of American flag)

The rest is tba

🌠 possibly useful information 🌌

Important: I don’t give a shit about what’s canon. Just go with it. Jason’s still dead but everything after hoo only exists if it serves my plot.

This y/n was here for hoo and some of pjo

[piss-pumpkin]

I am going insane

[piss-pumpkin]

Whenever i wanna read a gf fic i reread your Gravity Falls fiction all over i memorized every word at this point,,,

AAAAH I giggled and kicked my feet in class when I read this thanks so muchhhhhh mwah I appreciate it so much

[aurora-sadprose]

put down that c.ai thing and read y/n fics like god intended.

[piss-pumpkin]

I start a lot of fics and then only get one chapter in a lot be I actually have 4 on a new fic but it’s not x reader and I’m curious if I should post on tumblr because pretty much all the fic I see here is x reader.

So just idk who would read a hoo zombie apocalypse au show of hands is it worth throwing on here

[piss-pumpkin]

Would anyone here fuck with a Sebastian sdv x reader fic I need to know

[ludo-ree]

if you're seeing this pretty please make yourself in this picrew it's really pretty I'm begging you

just in case the link doesn't work

Astrolavas' Maker 2.0

My second picrew character creator! Feel free to use and post your creations! Please credit me or link the game. Do NOT use commercially,

and tagging: @silly-gizmo @donaviolet @the-deceived-deceiver @in-a-mello-mood @mythicalcoqui @kamelthemammal @katslitterbox and anyone else please

[silly-gizmo]

Thx for the tag!! :DDD

@itsemmiy @advocatersdevil @silly-moth-123 @sparklykat-hideoutenthusiast

@amethyst-marshmallow @ivyoaknut @twilightwisper @that-weird-bee

@twigthedoodler @beanieduzartz @manicali

@37x3 @a-goofy-little-goober @junithelooperrrr @utterqueerdisasterthesimp

/nf + anyone can join!! :DD

[a-goofy-little-goober]

Go my silly!

So glad this one has little awkward smiles :]

@voilet-seas @oriorchids @nebbies-silly-spacecorener @insane-tamagotchi-evie @blocksandthings @dinosauraddivt @queer-little-meow-meow

sorry for any inconvenience with the tags!!

/nf! anyone can join too!

[meepmrop]

@bonnieboyoo @treehouse-void @fayeshovel @ask-red-and-solomon

[bonnieboyoo]

HAH IM GAY—

@redscorpiocat @liliththequeenofdemon @megamanzerov20 @wii-exist @rainy-cweepyradi0

[megamanzerov20]

i am cool You guys

@sunny-tano19 @pamithebunterfly2007 @9mysterybook6 @furawamoon @karinathebutterwolf2k5 @lizzietherwbychibifan @arthurzinthegoat @itsmetord @1m1npa1n @lunawolf012306

[sunny-tano19-deactivated2025121]

✌️🙂

@battersweet @sonicphobia0601 @not-the-axolotl @eeveestarstudios-blog @dartheblueberry

[not-the-axolotl]

@battersweet @eeveestarstudios-blog @dar-thestrawberry @sonicphobia0601 @studio-petrichor

I can litteraly never get my eye colour right in these

[battersweet-deactivated20260421]

WHY DO I LOOK SO STRAIGHT IN THIS PİCREW😭/hj

@dar-thestrawberry @eeveestarstudios-blog @piss-pumpkin @sonicphobia0601 @theaceonee @tv-foundation @yoitzluna @greenvampiregirl @sleeping-arsonist and any feller who come across

[piss-pumpkin]

@battersweet I would not say you look straight in that 💀

@ anyone I’m too scared to tag people

[piss-pumpkin]

☄️Bittersweet💫

Douce amere epilogue, (older) Dipper pines x reader, ~3.1k words Masterlist Prev

What happened in the six years since you got together? 

Well, you graduated, you figured out long distance, you both ended up bridging the gap and moving to Gravity Falls to live in the mystery shack together while you did school, and other research or ghost hunting endeavours. Things were good. 

Until about two weeks ago, on a random summer night, when Dipper got weird.

The first time it happened was in the woods after your tracked down a moth man type creature. After documenting it, on the walk back, Dipper looked at you, and then promptly went silent for most of the walk back, only speaking in one word answers. Why? You had no idea. 

And it only got worse from there. You’d be on the couch watching a movie, and he’d clam up and leave the room, even if you were sitting on him and he had to throw your legs off to get there. 

He’d get so nervous, and you knew all his tells, you could sense it even before he’d leave. One one occasion, you could see it in his eyes even before he seemed to notice. While you had a close look at his him when he pulled away from a kiss, you could see his pupils shifted smaller and the fear that crossed them before he left. 

So that was pretty weird. 

In truth, you were surprised when he suggested a date. It didn’t seem like he was… up for it. 

All was normal on the way there. A meteor shower was set to pass overhead tonight, and you were headed to a clearing in the forest. 

Dipper set down the blanket, and you happily sat down beside him, feeling the grass blades fold beneath you and the fabric. “Think there’s aliens on them?” You asked, laying your back on the ground. “Oooh, maybe one lands in Gravity falls, and it has some crazy face hugger like from Alien,” you said, kicking your feet in the air. 

The sky was clear overhead, not a single cloud. And in the forest, no light pollution, meaning the stars and moon were bright enough to see by, and entirely visible. No shooting stars yet, though. 

Dipper snickered. “You sound too excited, would that really be a good thing? Don’t they die in that movie?” 

“Well, we’re built different from those guys,” you declared with a grin, “I’d fight it off.” For a dramatic flourish and punctuation to the promise, you kicked your feet wildly in the air, and pumped your first up at the moon.

You turned your head on its side to look at Dipper as he laughed. Meteor shower be damned, sometimes the sky was prettier in the reflection of his eyes.

He met your gaze, smiling slightly as a blush crept onto his cheeks. Oh no. The dreaded blush. His eyes flickered across your face, and he turned back away from you, pursing his lips as he looked up at the sky. Not again. 

You waited for him to say something, react, continue the conversation. Just anything, please. But he didn’t, and your patience was finite. As you scanned his face, you could see the but of sweat starting on his forehead. Not this. Again. 

You frowned, crossing your arms over your chest as you turned your head back up to look at the sky. The first of the meteor shower caught your eye, and for a moment you forgot you were upset. But the feeling was fleeting. He still hadn’t uttered a single word. 

Why was he pulling away so much? The question echoed angrily in your mind. No words, no explanation, just this. The silence of him next to you looking vaguely uncomfortable. 

With a sigh, you sat up, and looked down at him. The fear was palpable on his face. You jaw tightened as you spoke, “okay, what’s up with you?” You asked firmly, the annoyance and bit of worry built up over weeks bubbling up. “Spit it out.

Dipper blinked a few times. “What?” He asked, voice cracking. His hands moved to his pockets as he sat up with you, to see eye to eye. 

Meteors passed overhead, but you were having this conversation. “What is this?” you asked, gesturing vaguely at his whole self, trying not to sound mad. “For like, weeks, you’ve been…” you looked at the ground. 

Distant. That was the word you were thinking, but didn’t want to say. He’d been distant. Anytime he was close, he’d pull back. Do this. Go quiet. You weren’t sure you wanted the answer, but the weight of the question was sinking a pit into your stomach. You had to ask it. 

Your fingers curls hard around the blanket, enough that you could feel the dirt and grass roots tear underneath. The stars above were far too pretty for the ugly conversation you were prepared to have. Deep breath. “I just- what has been going on with you?” You asked, setting all bits of pride aside. 

Dippers eyes widened as he stuttered a moment, before clearing his throat as he scrambled to come up with an answer. As usual, he was sweaty, and your heart fell at the look of distress over his face. 

A sigh escaped your lips. Figures. Your jaw clenched shut as he managed meaningless half sentences. Fragments of denials and apologies crept out as you saw the panic spread across his face.

Oh god. Was he actually going to break up with you?

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair and carelessly knocking his hat off behind him. 

Holy shit he was for real? Instantly, you leaned back, and recoiled away. “Sorry?” You managed, wide eyes curling into a glare, more out of bafflement than anything. Before two weeks ago, you were fine. Was… was he actually for real? You blinked a few times to avoid tears, and scowled to repress them back. 

Dippers arm raised to follow you back, but they froze and fell as he got close. Oh god, he was for real, he didn’t even want to touch you. His brow raised with the pitch of his voice. “Y-yeah?” He sputtered. “What- what’s going on, here?” 

You shook your head, sadness for the moment ceased and replaced with annoyed confusion. Your jaw hung open, “Fucking what do you mean what’s going on here? I don’t fucking know,” you were getting animated with your hands now as you stared him down. “Are you breaking up with me or not, spit it out,” you said, his waffling helping you stay annoyed rather then sorrowful. 

“What?!” He shouted, recoiling back the same as you, and nearly falling over, barely catching himself to lean on his arms. “No! No I’m not, what?” 

“What?” You shouted back. “What the fuck else is this the set up for!?” 

He flushed red, and his hands flew to cover his face. Without them to lean on, he fell on his back with a groan. “I’m sorry, I’m an idiot,” he said, muffled. 

What? The fuck else? You stared at him skeptical and slack jawed for a few moments as he laid there in lament. What was he on? 

With a sigh, he sat up, his face still completely painted red. He looked at you, grimacing. “Okay, firstly, I’m sorry for making you worry,” he said, putting his hands together and pointing at you. 

This man was going to be the god damned death of you. 

“Secondly,” he sucked a breath in through his teeth, and paused. His face fell back into his hands and he groaned again. Great. More of this. You stayed silent, waiting for some justification for all this. And by god, if it wasn’t good, you might get more annoyed at him for the last two weeks. “Secondly-“ he started again. 

Shooting stats passed you both by behind him, but you couldn’t take your eyes away. 

It took another pause and another groan for him to try a different approach. “It’s… this is so hard to say, you don’t even know,” he managed, raising his head from his palms to look at you. 

Your brow was raised in your skepticism, but you were going to hear him out even if his intent was to waffle for the entire night. “I can tell by looking,” you said, shaking your head. 

“No, dude, you don’t know the half of it,” he complained, tapping his fingers against the ground. His hand found his discarded hat behind him, and started to fidget with its rim as he spoke. “I’ve been trying to say this for like, weeks, but I just haven’t been able to.” 

“Yeah I can tell that, too.” 

He heaved a sigh, and took a stance. He crossed his legs, fully facing you as he steadied himself on his arms and dug his palms into the blanket.

“Okay, so…” he took a breath, and didn’t break eye contact. Or… more or less eye contact. His gaze wasn’t fixed on your eyes, but seemed to be jumping between and scanning your features. For what, you couldn’t be sure. “I’ve been waiting for the right moment, but like-“ he suppressed a smile as he shook his head. “-most moments feel like the right one, and so I panic and yeah… I guess I have been avoiding you,” he admitted. 

Oh god. Where was he going with this. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you head was complete empty. 

“Because it’s just… I don’t know, it’s scary,” he laughed dryly. “It still is. But, uh- I’ve been meaning to ask-“ he sighed, chewing the inside of his lip as he stalled. He pursed his lips, seemingly going through every emotion under the sun.

After one more sigh, he reached a hand into his sweater pocket. Oh god. “I’m sorry I had you so worried, Y/n,” he said, pulling something out. “It’s the opposite, I’ve been meaning to ask..”

He opened his hand, and inside was a box. Your breath stilled. He opened the box, and inside was a ring. Your heart stilled. 

“If you’d want to marry me.” 

Your jaw fell stupidly open, probably making you look like a moron. You weren’t entirely sure you heart was beating, but you were alive, so that was a pretty good indication. Unless you were dead, and this was an oxygen starved brains fever dream. But considering you didn’t recall getting into any life threatening accidents on the way here, you’d have to move forward with the assumption that you were alive and this was happening. For real.

You blinked a few times. With that context, the last two weeks made more sense. You glanced at Dipper, then at the ring, then at Dipper. The ring was pretty. A smile crept onto your lips, and you watched distress slowly melt from his face. “You’re a huge idiot moron,” you grinned, starting to feel your heartbeat creep back into your chest.

“Huh?” 

You saw the fear start to creek back into him, but you squashed it like a bug as you tackled him in a hug. His back his the blanket, and your face landed square in his chest, where for a moment you could hear the hummingbird pace of his heart. “Dipper,” you grinned, feeling him hesitantly wrap him arms around you. “In what universe would I ever say no?” 

“Does that mean you’re saying yes?” He asked hopefully, and you could feel his breath hitch. 

“Yes,” you laughed, eyes pressed shut to stop the tears you definitely felt coming. This moron. 

“Oh my god, really?” He asked, genuine surprise lacing his tone. 

You laughed again, sitting up to wipe your eyes and look down at him still laying there, your legs sweeping to his side. “Fucking yes, Dipper!”

He looked up at you with a shocked expression, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open. “Woah, thanks,” he said stupidly. 

This man was going to be the god damned death of you. You grinned, wiping your eyes as your vision blurred and cleared to keep seeing his surprised face beneath you. “Of course I wanna marry you, Dipshit, I’ve been in love with you since we were fourteen,” you laughed, half a choke. 

He started to smile, laughing with you as he covered his eyes with the heels of his palm. “I thought you’d say we were too young, or that you just didn’t want to, or that you didn’t… I don’t know, want to commit, or something.” 

“We’ve been together for like six years, none of that makes any sense,” you laughed, tears beginning to stream down your face.

“Well I’m realizing that now,” he laughed. 

“Oh, you are the dumbest smart guy I know,” you sniffled.

Dipper paused, pulling his hands from his eyes as he sat up, his face a foot from yours. “Oh, you’re crying,” he said gently, his own eyes glistening. 

“Yeah, my boyfriend just proposed to me, I don’t know if you heard,” you managed, wiping your eyes on your palm. 

Dipper laughed, his own tears staining his cheeks. “I did hear, actually.” 

Wow, you were actually going to marry this dweeb. This big idiot moron. You grinned, shaking your head, hesitant still to believe this was real, even if you were alive. Would you want his last name? Probably, even if you ended up hyphenating it. Being a Pines sounded… you giggled at the thought. “I’m gonna be like, married to you, I’ll be a Pines for real.”

He smiled softly, “You’ve always been an honorary Pines.”

You grinned, pulling him closer by the nape and leaning in. Your forehead rested on his, and you could feel the heat radiating off his face. Even with eyes softly shut you could tell he was blushing. “I cannot believe you, man,” you said, practically grinning against his lips. “And you had me worried you were dumping me.”

He laughed, shaking his head gently. “And you say I’m the idiot,” he teased. “Because in what universe would I do that?”

”Dude, you were acting crazy,” you managed, tucking your fingers under his shirt by his neck to keep them warmer in the night air. 

“Still, though,” he laughed, finally closing the smallest gap between you and kissing you. You could taste the salt from the tears on the bridge of his lip, and could guess he noticed the same on you. “I think that you’re the idiot here, not me,” he laughed when he pulled just slightly back. 

You sighed as you pulled away too and got a better look at him. He was backlit by the moon, and a whole mess. You probably were too, the worry and joy overwhelming entirely. You took a breath, and wiped your face again. 

Yeah, you were alive. You could feel your heart again, and the blanket beneath you and the texture of the grass beneath that. Your body was warm, blood flowing, lungs breathing. 

Dippers eyes widened. He whipped his head around, scanning the blanket and the grass around it. “Oh god, where’d the ring go?” He asked, starting to stand up to check underneath him.

You giggled, “Oh, you dropped it when I knocked you down,” you said, scanning the ground with him. You lifted your knees to look underneath. The light of the stars and meteors and moon wasn’t amazing for finding a small black box.

Your eyes landed on a black blob in the darkness at the corner of the blanket. While Dipper looked around, you grabbed it silently, fingers curling around it. The box with the ring. You could only imagine how heavy it was in his pocket this whole time, however light it may seem. 

His back was turned as he searched somewhat frantically. Grinning, you opened the box at him. “Will you marry me?” You asked cheekily, watching the way he relaxed when he saw it in your hands. 

“Of course,” he sighed, sitting back down across from you. 

Your heart flickered as he gently took the ring from you, and his hand softly brushed up against yours. His eyes briefly fluttered to yours before he smiled, and looked back down. 

He took your hand in his. Oh wow, it’s happening. His slightly calloused fingers against yours may as well have been a defibrillator the way each touch sent a small shock to your system. His hands were warm, a stark contrast to the cold of the metal he slipped onto your ring finger. Hey, that’s what the fingers for, it’s in the name. 

You grinned stupidly at him as he finished, eyes lifting from your engaged hand to your engaged eyes.

”There, now it’s official,” he smiled. 

“Official,” you echoed, scooting closer to him. 

“Mabel’s been calling me a pussy for weeks.”

”You are one,” you grinned, gently cupping his cheek and closing the gap to kiss him again. In a second one of his hands was around your waist, and one at your nape. 

And when he pulled back he pressed his lips gently to your forehead where a faint scar still stuck around from that time you almost died. 

Dipper smiled. “Pretty good proposal, though, right? There’s like, a meteor shower.”

You shook your head, laughing, “It’s been hard to focus on that.”

He chuckled softly. “Yeah,” he said, his hands still holding you well. He thumbed gently over the spot where your hair begins on the back of your neck. Grinning, he wrapped you in a hug and laid back on the ground.

You fell back against the blanket, and curled into his side, looking up at the sky, and the streaks of white light scaling across it. His arm tightened around you, being enough of a pillow, and a soft one at that with his sweater around it.

And that’s where you’d stay. Your dumbass boyfriend was going to be your dumbass husband. Mabel would be your sister in law. Weird.  

And you thought he was going to breakup with you. Maybe you were the dumbass, even if you’d never admit it. It really could be either of you. The ring on your finger banished any thought of either of you ever wanting to be anywhere else. 

You could almost laugh at the question. Of course you’re getting married, and of course this is how it went. It was baked into the skeleton and foundation of your relationship. You never, never, could escape the bittersweet. 

Douce amere in 2025??? Who still out reading 4 months after it ended 😭That’s crazy. Anyway I was trying to start a new fic, but idk this one was eating away at me I had to write this. Like this fic is my baby, and embarrassingly I think it’s some of my best work, I needed to give it a better ending. Like I can finally put this fic to bed now.

And after writing it it’s like,,, I don’t even know if I want to put it to bed it’s so fun for me. I’m not even in a phase of being really into this world are characters but they’re still so fun.

(Idk if yall still even wanna be on the Taglist it’s been so long but here)

Taglist: @phobo-ss @cipheress-to-k-pop @dead-esque @fries11

[piss-pumpkin]

I desperately want to change my horrible user name but there’s no way I’m redoing all my links,,, why in gods name did I make my user name piss pumpkin 2 years ago what the fuck was I thinking