You Think This Is A Motherfucking Game?!

DON'T JUST STAND THERE, YOU GAPING BUFFOON! STATE YOUR BUSINESS OR GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT!

[nekoshige]

「隙間道」/「gracile」の作品 [pixiv] #pixitail

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

While being stuck in Zone 1, Rocket's learned a lot of things- and by a lot of things, he's learned who the Guardian is. AKA: big money out there in the galaxy. Despite a small arsenal (1 weapon) and a non-functional ship, he's going for the big bucks, always ambitious about the money rather than thinking things through. Blasts down his door and scurries on in with gun pointed constantly at the man. "ALRIGHT, so we can do this the easy way or the hard way, pal. What's it gonna be."

Curry sauce drips from Dedan's chin as he glares at the uninvited visitor. "YOU CHOSE WHICH PATH THE MOMENT YOU FUCKED UP MY DOOR." he snarls. The ticking of the clock on the wall slows with the flow of time in the room. Dedan makes his way over to Rocket as soon as he's sure the outlaw is immobile, snatching the gun away. After that, he lifts the competence, time resuming it's natural flow. "THAT DOOR WAS MADE OF REAL WOOD. THAT SHIT'S EXPENSIVE."

[stewingingarbage]

pissedoffandontheclock

"MERRY CHRISTMAS."

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

On his new murder gloves go with an exaggerated flexing of fingers. Mort had been doing so well too.

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

A wrapped gift is waiting on Dedan’s desk with a small tag on it. The cloth of the present was warm, suggesting something was heated inside of it. Upon opening it, there was a bowl with a lid over it to keep its contents from spilling. Flipping the lid would reveal freshly cooked beef curry that was mildly spiced.

While the beef curry is extremely appreciated on a cold day such as this, the tag is the best gift Dedan could have wished for. He tucks the tiny slip of paper into one of the inner pockets of his coat for safe keeping. Sure that he can't dirty what's important, he makes complete mess eating the scrumptious curry.

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

Too bad Dedan was getting more presents, in the form of Scribe holding up massive leather gloves with red bands on the seams. 

"I never really worked with leather before, and I kinda had to do some guesses about your hands, so if they don’t fit I’ll fix them."

Homemade murder gloves are adequate compensation for vanishing again. “LET’S SEE IF THE DO.” He stretches the leather over his claws, flexing his hands. “KINDA TIGHT. I’M AFRAID MY NAILS ARE GONNA RIP THROUGH THEM IF WE DON’T ADJUST THEM.” Both gloves come off before he stiffly adds a "...THANK YOU.”

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

Looks like someone just gave up on trying to wrap it. The blanket is neatly folded instead with a tag left sitting on top.

Sleeping isn't a regular activity for him so the folded blanket gets shoved under his butt to give his office chair some extra cushion.

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

MAKES KISSY NOISES, WEASELS HIS WAY OVER TO THE DAN MAN, SMOOCHES THE Top of his head gently. "MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'FUCKIN TOSSER."

He can feel the greasy spot left behind by that smooch. "BAH." he grunts and takes a hefty swig of his drink.

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

A package lay on Dedan’s desk, a gift tag reading as follows. Inside there was a present for the dear Guardian. How sweet. However, in further inspection there was another gift, likely to promote the welfare and perhaps try to get Dedan to not shatter the first gift.

Merry Christmas.

This mug. This mug is a painfully accurate representation of his life. Wait, hold that thought. He fills it with the scotch included as well as a splash of the scotch a queen gifted him last year. There. Now it's perfect.

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

The Batter was leaning on one of the arms and wiping his forehead. The giant chair had been placed behind the Guardian’s desk, “Do you.. know how hard it was.. to get this thing all the way up here? …. Elsen stopped me .. every chance they got.”

Piles of paperwork neatly stacked in Dedan's arms comes dangerously close to be dropped when he sees a batter in his office. "CHRRRRIST ON A CROSS, LUKAS. YOU-- YOU. THERE'S A REASON ELSEN WERE TRYING TO STOP YOU ON YOUR WAY HERE. YOU SHOULDN'T BE BRINGING ME PRESENTS." he scolds and unloads his documents onto the desk.

It's a gorgeously crafted chair and the thought of Lukas busting his ass to bring it to him makes it a prize indeed. Still, Dedan feels so awkward about this entire gift during the solstice thing. It's only his second year going through it and he didn't get anything for anyone. There's also there incident where they last talked and he pushed Lukas into ghoul infested meat that still isn't resolved. They're just going to pretend that didn't happen? Bringing it up is only going to make things worse.

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

BEING DISTANT DIDN'T DETER ANYONE FROM GIVING ME HOLIDAY GIFTS.

[qttsky]

Class break doodles featuring a lot of OFF doodles and oh look a Sangyuu (I forgot how to draw my own character shhh) 

I found some OFF soundtrack on my ipod and felt nostalgic ha…

[theoffhandpuppeteer]

OTA, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU A REAL BURGER. NONE OF THAT TRASH THAT CAPITALIST CRACKPOT FED YOU. I need to do something to apologize for saying those terrible things to you last week... as well as touching your behind.

Well this was unexpected. Ota had almost forgotten about most of what went on during Halloween and she wasn’t truly expecting an apology for what happened. She figured it would’ve been a “let’s not talk about it again” situation. So this was a pleasant surprise. Oh, the burger thing. That situation with the soldier was just bizarre and nothing more was needed to describe that situation.

"R-Really? I know you weren’t exactly yourself during Halloween, so I wasn’t all that mad or anything."

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

With no more than his blistering glare, Dedan gets the grill sizzling hot and on the burgers go. “YOU REMEMBER WHAT KIND OF COOKING? I NEED A BAKER. I’M RUBBISH AT BAKING. ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.”

[theoffhandpuppeteer]

Ota paused for a moment to think on this, although she remembered cooking and gathering recipes, WHAT she made exactly just couldn’t come to mind.  "Not really," she admitted disappointingly, “I can’t remember what exactly I made often at home. I just remember that I did cook a lot. Though ever since I got here, I’ve been making meals with what I could get. I’ve made stews with beef or chicken or pan fried them to go with some pasta and gravy.” The puppeteer wasn’t sure how qualified she’d be to work as a cook, though the thought was rather pleasant.

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

Perhaps she had a large family too. That or she had a small one and she had to cook her own meals often while he parents worked. Dedan's attempts at piecing together Ota's family situation at home is going nowhere fast. Good lords, she really doesn't remember much. He needs to help her figure that out.

"WHY DON'T WE BAKE TOGETHER AT SOME POINT. IT'LL BE FUN, EVEN IF IT ENDS UP DISASTROUS. COULD JOG MORE MEMORIES." he suggest, pausing to check around them for anyone who may be watching. When the coast his clear he pulls various vegetables out of his coat pocket. Yes, he was keeping veggies in his coat. "COULD YOU CUT THESE FOR ME?"

[dry-your-tears-with-my-coat-dea]

*wonders up and pulls him into a tight hug* DON'T MAKE THIS GAY.

He chuckled and hugged him back.

"What if I wanna make it gay?" He joked.

[dry-your-tears-with-my-coat-dea]

He figured his alternative would take the compliment.

The Guardian reached up to stroke the other’s shaft as he ran his tongue around the tip, every once in a while running it over the slit.

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

ask-lady-illusion replied to your post:(( wHOOOOA THERE I thought I made this post...

//*spits drink* I had no idea that was you! :0

huEHUE! IT IS I. I know we've only exchanged one reply over there but having you say that makes me feel awesome. I would hate all of my character to sound the same.

[always-full-count-deactivated20]

I think it’s passed time for my scheduled monster boyfrand quick sketch.

Can never have too much Dede.

[pissedoffandontheclock-blog]

((

wHOOOOA THERE I thought I made this post earlier. Accidentally put it in my drafts. I'm on a semi hiatus until after the 25th! Crazy work and holiday fartfests are taking a lot out of me. Not to mention I'm trying to get my Shovel Knight blog rolling too. Sorry about that!))

[royal--tarts-deactivated2017071]

Oh look! I made a thing!