SILENCE HAD ALWAYS BEEN HIS MEANS OF COMMUNICATING THE HARDER REALITY, THE WORDS HE WISHED HE COULD SAY – but now he blossoms, he speaks as the anger comes & goes, as the anxiety in his mind tumbles back & forth, leaving him uneasy. He lets himself speak up, especially in a DIRE situation – whether it would fall on ears that listened too closely or not at all, he’d spoken up. Silence falls on him just as fast, as harsh & as heavy, when he lets out his spiel, the thought of worse coming to worse & how to handle the experience ahead – he wouldn’t be able to live with himself, he knew. & it STINGS at his chest at the very idea of something going wrong. His lips purse together & there’s a moment where he tries to find some ground – shown in the way he observes his surroundings, counting them & listing them mentally with a tremble of bottom lip.
She begins & Jonathan listens. All too closely, it was what he was best at. & he hopes, somewhere, she understood where he was coming from, the anxiety that was building up in him of what ifs of what was to come. The question is careful – & Jonathan only manages to give a little look towards her. ( WHO WOULD EVER TRUST THE CREEP, AFTER ALL? WHAT PLOY WAS THERE? ). He doesn’t want to answer – he knows he has to. ❝ No one’s life is perfect, that’s not what I meant, ❞ What does he mean? Jonathan’s lips purse together, refusing to say it, giving a shake of his head. He ignores the second question, in hopes that she wouldn’t notice. ❝ Just … Forget it, ❞ Jonathan says, somewhere low & under his breath, a sharp breath of air in & out, his head hung low & eyes focused on the trail ahead of them, covered with leaves of all colors & trees surrounding. It was almost peaceful, if it wasn’t for the looming fact of what was lingering ahead somewhere – ANYWHERE.
❝ I know you weren’t, ❞ He quickly responds, his head lifting from the ground to look up through the tree branches at the sky – glossy, watered eyes puffy. A hand comes from his dark jean jacket to wipe at his eyes, wiping away what lingered. ❝ Who’s to say? Who’s to say you won’t get hurt? How do we know we won’t get hurt? How do we know we won’t die? ❞ Rambling questions that lingered deep in his mind, unable to find the rationality & possibility of a good outcome – quietly, he’s struck in his tracks, standing still, turning on his heel to halfway face her, taking the time to calm down, acknowledging the hand reaching out for his sleeve, trying to ground himself. ( JONATHAN, YOU HAVE TO GROUND YOURSELF. CALM DOWN. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. ) ❝ We don’t know. I can’t live with myself if you, or anyone else, gets hurt, ❞ & he means it – seldom, tired eyes drooped with brows furrowed down. ❝ Please … at least promise me you’ll run if things get out of control or if things go wrong. That’s all I’m asking of you, okay? ❞
now that he’s back to, at least to some extent, soft speaking and less fiery eyes .. she can appreciate that he feels strongly enough about her safety to have gotten so passionate about it. in fact .. reflecting, she can’t say she actually disliked him raising his voice at her. in both a supportive friend way, and probably a way she shouldn’t find endearing. she keeps her fingers gripping the fabric, hoping it helps. hoping it’s not an annoyance among other negative possibilities. she could ease his mind in one department ... show him something she hasn’t yet. but is now really the time, when his emotions are already high ? or would that just make things worse ?
❝ okay. i promise. ❞ her eyes meet his and linger, intensely, driving her point ... but she’s lying. she’d protect jonathan tooth and nail, even if she didn’t have these powers. in a perfect world, where she was never in that lab and instead grew up in hawkins, lived as a normal girl, she knows that she wouldn’t run. not even then. she doesn’t break promises easily, either .. it hurts to. but this is just the kind of promise that you have to break.
there’s a light tug, now, and she cracks a smile. hopes he’ll return it. ❝ you really care that much about me ? or are you just that good of a guy, that you’d be that upset if anyone got hurt ? ❞ she’d guess the latter. he did say anyone else. but maybe she’s looking for that sliver of validation that she’s not ... too invested in their weird little friendship. an unlikely bond. ❝ ‘cause .. i can’t say that there’s too many people i’d ask to abandon me with a freakish monster. ❞