✖️ i dont follow back [a blanket rule but i love yall]
⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆
aboutme: PJ is my name ✨ she/her • pan + demi • australia[ALWAYS WAS ALWAYS WILL BE ABORIGINAL LAND] • always gaming • Bowie wrote Queen Bitch bout me • got on stage with MÅNESKIN(sydney:22.11.23)
im getting released from the horny jail, packin up my stuff& going back to the outside world/to wuatever is next
im really sorry to say that im quitting. the spark has well& truly left me. it tapered off & off til writing literally felt like a punishment. every sentence felt like pushing a huge boulder up a hill& thats not how i want it to be, this started as exciting& freeing& fun& it just slowly stopped being that because of alot of factors. the morning routine fic was me trying to see if the magic was still there& it just wasnt, its not the same anymore
i always said that i would do this as long as it made sense so its stopped making sense for my life. it fucking sucks, im genuinely really upset to lose something that felt so right& was so rewarding & gave me something to keep me steady etc. i've been putting this decision off but i talked with my therapist yesterday& kinda had to just face it
i wont be deleting anything from here or ao3, so im not taking the fics from anyone
i feel like shit that im leaving some series' unfinished
& i feel awful about requests that never got completed cos i so appreciated people seeking me out etc. i do have some unfinished requests etc that maybe i could share what i have thusfar for people to see? if anyone would be interested in more unfinished stuff?
im not saying this is forever, i would love to be able to finish the things i started & whatnot*. but for rightnow, im outta here, i cant keep hating myself for not writing any words/'enough words' everyday. i cant guarantee i wont be back but i also cant guarantee i will be
thank you so much to everyone who supported in any shape or form, this was fhe most fun i'd ever had writing. i cant believe i got commissioned as many times as i did& achieved a longstanding dream of making money from my writing. thanks to everyone whomanifested with me& got me on that stage with måneskin so ethan could look at me& say thank you - these are things i will literally never forget
*if were really talking about what i would love, i would love to go back to that first year here, where i was getting sooooo much feedback& validation& there was just so much going on in the fandom& we were thriving & going nuts so often, that was fuckin magic
old damiano aka the damiano david i fell in love with is so fucking dead& gone & pretending hes not isnt gonna work for me anymore
how in the name of holy Hell are you gonna write a song like GASOLINE, perform it night after night on a world tour& then be silent/complicit about whats happening to the people in palestine?! was it just trendier to talk about ukraine vrs talking about gaza?
him with maneskin versus him solo
how about russia in eurovision? should we bring them back, or is it important to set precedent?
im sooooooo close to getting a refund on my tickets& just not going to see him in october cos brother euuugh, whats this brother? the album is so fucking lame, it doesnt do anything original, its laughable in some places. its a flaccid, small dick compared to the shit måneskin were putting out& thats why i started listening, so why would i listen to this? life is too short to try to bully myself into liking music that actually literally doesnt give me any joy/inspiration/enjoyment
i miss the old damiano. i miss activist damiano. i miss GOSSIP damiano. this new guy is a clown without the circus, lame& embarrassing
Find vetted fundraisers for Gaza here
ALL OF THIS is just how it feels TO ME. if you enjoy the new music, still have fun following his career- i think thats great for you. im genuinely envious of you, i would much rather love him so dont think im shitting on people still supporting him/the new stuff cos art is subjective. genocide is not, buttt........
& fucking Hell, resident johnny depp expert here-- VICTOR DIDNT LOVE EMILY! have you actually SEEN corpse bride you absolute poser?! victor was helplessly& totally in love with victoria for the entire movie. corpse bride isnt the tale of emily & victor being in love, its weird circumstances putting them together& then they work together to get to their true goals& for victor ,it is victoria. his characters motivation isnt being in love with emily& her character arc takes her beyond just being a bride. YOU FUMBLED A TIM BURTON REFERENCE& im personally offended
° slice of life fluff about starting the day with your two boyfriends & five children
wordcount:: 2,172
° this is basically the throuples happily ever after moment. when i first had the idea to extend the series into parenthood for them, this was the image that i had in my mind& i thought it was about time i put it on a page. i hope yall enjoy& would love to know if you can figure out the significance of the new baby's name
There was something strange about being the last person in your home to get up. You weren’t used to it happening, especially not on a weekday. You felt like you were out of step with the rest of your family.
Your boyfriends had kept their word, letting you gain a couple of hours of sleep after a very restless night with your youngest child.
Nikkie had been exceptionally fussy last night. Which you had put yourself in charge of resolving, because why should all three of you be sleep-deprived? The 18-month-old had gone to sleep without issue at her typical bedtime. But something had caused her to wake up wailing around one o’clock.
You hadn't been able to identify any immediate causes, so you had run through all of the tricks you had, from the regular to the specialty. You had eventually gotten her to settle, quietening down as you read her books. But she had wanted you to read almost every single book in her little library. She had sat in her crib, gurgling and smiling as she would flip her book back to the beginning. You had maintained your patience, just grateful that she had stopped crying.
Her energy had finally run out before sunrise. You had fallen asleep in the same moment that you had reached your bed.
Even though the extra rest had been beneficial, helping you to feel less like a zombie lady. You also felt some guilt that you weren’t pulling your weight with the morning routine. You could easily imagine the chaos that your five kids were posing, so you walked quickly, picking up speed as you descended the stairs. You were hearing all of the activity before you even reached the dining room.
At the bottom of the staircase, movement in the living room caught your eye. Instead of walking straight past, you looked in. Sylvia was sitting in front of the coffee table, the surface of which was almost entirely covered by colourful crafting supplies.
As you approached, you noted that the six-year-old was by herself. This didn’t seem to matter to her. With how much she was concentrating on her task, it was possible that she hadn’t noticed her lack of company.
“Hey Miss Missy…” You said, close enough to see that she was working with blue paper, decorating it. “What are you making?”
She looked up at you, showing you a smile instantly. “It’s for Miriana. It’s her birthday soon.”
“I thought you and Marshie already made her a card.” You said.
She made a face and reached out for a glitter pen. “Marsha monopolied that card, this one is my style.”
You paused, furrowing your bow. Then you realised that she had meant monopolised. It wasn’t a very kind thing to say, but you knew both of the twins should be present for a discussion of this.
“Okay, do you need any help with this one?” You asked.
“Uh-uh, Mama.” She replied without taking her eyes off of the sparkly pattern she was creating.
After confirming that she had eaten breakfast, you left her to complete the task on her own. You continued towards the source of the consistent noise - the combined kitchen and dining room. As you got closer, you could distinguish one voice from another. This somewhat helped you prepare yourself for the scene you were about to walk into.
Ethan was seated at the dining table. On his lap was Bowie, your youngest son looking like he was still half-asleep. There were a few spots on his face smeared with food and there was the potential for this to be added to: his plastic plate had more spoonfuls of food lying on it. Neither he nor your boyfriend seemed very interested in this currently.
Ehtna’s attention was entirely dedicated to Marsha, who stood in front of him. She was facing away from him, doing a good job of holding still after so many years of practice. He was working her long hair into two identical plaits. His fingers moved with precision while she was talking, seemingly in the middle of a story.
Her voice was accompanied by Cosmo’s. Your eldest child was speaking slowly, then you realised he was offering one letter at a time. Sitting at the extended counter, he was running through his spelling homework, under the supervision of Damiano.
Damiano stood on the opposite side of the bench and you wondered if he had left the kitchen at all ever since preparing breakfast for your brood. But he didn’t look annoyed by this, relaxed and in his element instead.
Next to the stool where Cosmo sat was the highchair, currently occupied. Nikkie was safely secured to this spot, some food on the attached tray. Damiano kept his eye on the infant as well.
Surveying this scene, you didn’t feel any need to rush in and find the spot where you should be helping. Because it didn’t look like your assistance was needed right now. You realised that your perceptions (and assumptions) from the other room had been incorrect - this wasn’t chaos. It only seemed that way.
In actuality, everything was in balance and there were no fires for you to put out. Somehow you had picked the right partners, and things were generally under the control of your boyfriends.
Damiano glanced down at his phone, which was held by his hip so that the screen could be concealed from Cosmo. For a moment his brow was furrowed, then he smiled. “You nailed it, Moe. I had to double-check that one ‘cause I’m pretty sure I’ve never spelt that word in my entire life. But you got it perfect, well done.”
Cosmo seemingly didn’t care much for this compliment. “It’s not even the hardest word on the list.”
“Well congratulations, you’re much smarter than your old man is.” Damiano told him, before he looked at Nikkie. “Excuse me, little miss…” She started to giggle as he played at being stern with her, far over-exaggerating his tone. “I made you that toast to eat, not to just make out with the bread and suck the peanut butter off. Eat.”
She kept laughing - you and your boyfriends were in agreement that she was getting cheekier with each new day. You could see the mess around her mouth. She was holding a portion of the toast up close to her face. Even though you could see her mouth moving, the piece of toast wasn’t getting any smaller.
Damiano walked around the bench, going over to her side. “How about we try eating it, hm? I know you know how to do that.” She looked up at him, strands of her hair falling back from her face. He picked up a section of the toast and tore it into a smaller piece, which he offered to the baby. “Are you ready for the next word, Mister Moe?”
“Uh-huh.”
You checked on Ethan’s progress now, taking a few steps in this direction. He was almost through with the second plait, some bobby pins were held between his lips.
“Good morning Mama.” Marsha greeted you as you got up to the table, pulling out a chair for yourself.
“Hi, darling.” You said. “Baby Bowie, why aren’t you eating your yummy breakfast?”
Your son just looked at you with that dreary expression, so Ethan answered. “He wants to watch cartoons, but Dada needs him to finish eating first.”
Bowie huffed unhappily. You sat down and pulled the plastic plate towards yourself, considering the food that hadn’t been touched by the three-year-old. There was sliced up strawberries, whole grain toast with some jam spread over it and the whites of a hard boiled egg. You picked up the bright spoon and your belly gave a little expectant grumble.
“Well maybe I can help him clear his plate.” You said, scooping up a small portion of the toast.
Ethan tied off Marsha’s second plait, then put his available hands to Bowie’s sides. He lifted your son from his lap, potentially he already knew how you were planning to tackle this. Bowie’s eyes were on you as he got his feet on the ground, starting to walk toward you, around Marsha.
“Mmm!” You hummed loudly, exaggerating your response to the toast that you were chewing.
Once he was close enough, he put his hands to your legs so that he could start to pull himself up. You helped, easily lifting his tiny body. He faced you, his wide eyes watching as you had another bite of his food.
“Mmn, Papa made such a good breakfast today.” You declared. “Oh, where’s your share, Bowie?”
He had started to smile, looking more engaged. He pointed at the plate. “There.”
“Oops, Mama made a really silly mistake, huh?” You said and you offered the spoon to him. “Quick, you should eat this up before I forget again.”
And it worked, he scooped up some of the strawberries. You relaxed as you watched bhim chewing.
“How are you doing?” Ethan asked. He was securing back Marsha’s unruly flyaways with the bobby pins.
“I think I’m alright. I’ll just need extra coffee today.” You said before getting distracted by Bowie pressing a piece of strawberry to your lower lip. “Oh, thank you, sweetie.”
“Okay, I think you’re done.” Ethan told Marsha, his hands leaving her hair now. “Do you wanna go check it in your mirror?”
Marsha was heading out of the room before he had finished talking. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Tell your sister that it’s time for both of you to get dressed for school.” He called after her.
He had to just hope that she had heard him, he propped his elbow up on the table and rested his cheek against this elevated fist. You held one of your hands to Bowie’s back as you kept track of his progress.
“Are you gonna rest today, or do you have to go into the studio?” Ethan asked you.
“I have to go in. We’re having new cleaners come in to assess the space and give specific quotes, and I wanna be there to hear all the details for myself. I have to maintain my reputation of being the most hands-on manager ever, you know?” You said before you received more toast from Bowie.
You were talking about the dance studio that you owned and ran. It was something that you had hoped to achieve for a long time, wanting to establish a place as nurturing as the studio you and your sister had grown up attending, which had shut more than a decade ago.
You had pictured yourself getting to this dream once all of your children were grown up. But your boyfriends had surprised you by purchasing the ideal space.
They helped you to find the right people to turn this dream into a reality, and for almost two years, it had been working out. You got to build a community. You were dancing more often than you ever had in your whole life. You were exploring the creativity of choreographing like never before. The whole thing gave you an almost unreal sense of accomplishment.
“Great work, baby.” You said when you noticed Bowie was eating his last mouthful. He had even come around on the egg whites, kids were weird like that. You helped him down from your lap. “You can go watch your cartoons now.”
“Moe, how about you help your brother with the TV? And you can get dressed for school after that.” Damiano suggested.
“Okay, Pop.” Cosmo said.
As your sons left the room, Damiano lifted Nikkie out of her highchair. You hadn’t noticed it being initiated, but you found yourself now holding Ethan’s hand.
Damiano rested the baby on his hip and came over to the dining table. “Are you doing alright? What can I make you for breakfast?”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that, you probably only just got finished cooking.” You said. “I’m fine to have cereal.”
“None of that.” He dismissed with a little sassy finger waggle, which got Nikkie’s attention. “You took on the late late late shift by yourself last night, you deserve more than cereal.”
You shrugged. “I’m not gonna argue with that. Are eggs an option?”
“Definitely, I could even poach a couple and put them on toast with some avocado.” He said.
“Damn, you’re the best.” You said.
“It’s the least I can do.” He said before handing Nikkie off to Ethan. “You’re doing school drop-off today, right?”
He nodded. “Right.”
The baby had too much energy to just sit in her dad’s lap, so he placed her down on the floor. She seemed far happier, making her cheerful little gurgling sounds as she began to explore, crawling around.
In the absence of any cries or whimpers from her, neither of you had to rush to check on her. No help was needed and you felt that feeling of balance again. Ethan’s hand was back in yours and you gave it an appreciative squeeze.
shoutout to esc for all of the superb plus size representation they gave us this year. thick thigh supremacy in semi 2& they all got through! its so fantastic to see three women (three separate acts)embracing & not even trying a little to hide their curves, its gorgeous, its inspiring
yall were SO CORRECT to not send australia through this year. that was so fucking embarrassing. i dont believe that straight man for a second, he couldnt pull the camp off cos he doesnt live it& it REALLY showed
latvia had quite simply one of the best performances i've ever seen in my years of being obsessed with eurovision. truly amazing, they created art& it was so meticulously executed. i adore them!!
I’m a survivor from Gaza, holding on to hope in a world that has fallen apart around me. 💔
The life I once knew — my home, my family, my sense of safety — has been shattered by war.
Today, I live among the ruins, trying to find a path forward through the rubble and heartbreak. 🏚
Every moment is a battle against fear and uncertainty.
What was once ordinary — a safe place to sleep, a future to dream of — now feels like a distant memory. 🕊️
I share my story not to seek pity, but to keep hope alive — to believe that even in the darkest places, kindness can still find a way. 🤍
If my story touches your heart, please consider sharing it or offering support.
Every voice, every act of care, brings me one step closer to safety. ✨
Thank you for taking the time to listen. 🙏
Post Link
i wish i could give more of a substantial donation, however i can share your story& hopefully that can help in some shape
this fundraiser has been vetted by @gazavetters , as have all of the following, who have reached out to me. give if you can or just boost the voices of palestinians in need
