okay sooo this is actually my first time requesting (i usually get too shy đ) but iâve been so jimin deprived lately and i reallyyyy wanna read more jimin fics from you bc i love the way you write sm đŠđ like literally i love you nylađđŤśđť
so i was thinking⌠maybe for kinktober, something with praise kink? (bc i swear i have one đ) and also body worship đ like add in mini skirts too?? skirt kink?? yeah my brain is full of things rn lmao and omg i LOVE the brotherâs best friend trope so like the oc has this huge crush on jimin but sheâs convinced itâs one sided, she assumes he only sees her as taeâs lil sister and that heâs totally off-limits. BUTTT actually heâs secretly obsessed with her and hides it sooo well she never suspects anythingâuntil it all comes out đŠ thatâs where the praise kink + body worship goes in perfectly also iâd love if they BOTH have praise kinksâlike oc praising jimin, even calling his cock pretty like him (đđđ) and then jimin just losing it while worshipping every inch of her body. and omg when oc calls him âmimiâ he absolutely snaps and goes insane for her plsđŠ
smut-wise, iâm thinking: marking (hickeys everywhere), him being obsessed with her tits + thighs + skirts, maybe she gives him a mind-blowing blowjobâlike the sloppy kind where heâs moaning and falling apart, and when she pulls back for a second thereâs a string of saliva connecting her lips to his cock đŤ âand then maybe a riding scene that makes him completely lose it đŠ just obsessed desperate jimin energyđ dom!jimin, sub!reader, lots of dirty talk maybe a sprinkle of angst too (bc im a sucker for angst) but with a happy ending of course. and PLEASE make tae the brother bc i need vmin crumbs, maybe even a silly crack scene at the start before the tension/heat begins đ
basically iâm begging for: brotherâs best friend + secret obsession + praise kink + body worship + skirt kink + dirty talk + marking + angst + happy ending. the exact type of fic that would make my face burn and my stomach full of butterflies đŠđŤś
(ugh just thinking about this iâm literally kicking my feet in the air and giggling like a delulu mess omg help đ)
what a fucking long request right? i went all out here đ yapper here đđťââď¸
jebal it would really make my whole fucking day if you really do thisđ itâs like my dream fic to read? lolđ
babygirlll you're the sweetest! ilysmm and you're literally my fav reader did I every say that? your sweet comments make my day! :(
also tysm for giving me such a detailed jimin fic request! because I usually don't get many of them, and y'all really help me when I run out of ideas, also let me tell you babe I'm truly honored that you've trusted me with your very first request (i'm crying because you're literally an angel tf)
now let me get to your request! i LOVE brothers best friend trope, and vmin? gurl I'm screaming because it's gonna eat so hard, also the angst and spiciness I'm getting from your description is insane. I love praise kink too đł and calling jimin 'mimi/mini' is my weak spot literally. tysm for this idea of yours and I promise to write this oneshot asap! I'm also saving the idea in my notes app so I don't forget hehe đŤś
ooh my goshđđđ im literally giggling so muchhhh WHATTT IM BLUSHINGGG thankyou so muchhhđđ wdym your fav reader omg im really blushing rn ishfksksdkjsks i was kinda nervous about making a fic request because itâs my first time doing it TnT thinking it might be too much for requesting sumthing like this BUT URGH im literally so grateful that youâre willingly making my request đĽšđ AND i really trust you on making this fic because bae your fics are awesome and beautiful đŠđŤśđťđ
and THATS WHAT IM SAYING i have the BIGGEST weak spot for calling jimin âmimiâ đŠđŠ
thankyouu thankyou so muchhh your literally so sweetđ and for following me too iloveyousomuchđđŤśđťđ
okay sooo this is actually my first time requesting (i usually get too shy đ) but iâve been so jimin deprived lately and i reallyyyy wanna read more jimin fics from you bc i love the way you write sm đŠđ like literally i love you nylađđŤśđť
so i was thinking⌠maybe for kinktober, something with praise kink? (bc i swear i have one đ) and also body worship đ like add in mini skirts too?? skirt kink?? yeah my brain is full of things rn lmao and omg i LOVE the brotherâs best friend trope so like the oc has this huge crush on jimin but sheâs convinced itâs one sided, she assumes he only sees her as taeâs lil sister and that heâs totally off-limits. BUTTT actually heâs secretly obsessed with her and hides it sooo well she never suspects anythingâuntil it all comes out đŠ thatâs where the praise kink + body worship goes in perfectly also iâd love if they BOTH have praise kinksâlike oc praising jimin, even calling his cock pretty like him (đđđ) and then jimin just losing it while worshipping every inch of her body. and omg when oc calls him âmimiâ he absolutely snaps and goes insane for her plsđŠ
smut-wise, iâm thinking: marking (hickeys everywhere), him being obsessed with her tits + thighs + skirts, maybe she gives him a mind-blowing blowjobâlike the sloppy kind where heâs moaning and falling apart, and when she pulls back for a second thereâs a string of saliva connecting her lips to his cock đŤ âand then maybe a riding scene that makes him completely lose it đŠ just obsessed desperate jimin energyđ dom!jimin, sub!reader, lots of dirty talk maybe a sprinkle of angst too (bc im a sucker for angst) but with a happy ending of course. and PLEASE make tae the brother bc i need vmin crumbs, maybe even a silly crack scene at the start before the tension/heat begins đ
basically iâm begging for: brotherâs best friend + secret obsession + praise kink + body worship + skirt kink + dirty talk + marking + angst + happy ending. the exact type of fic that would make my face burn and my stomach full of butterflies đŠđŤś
(ugh just thinking about this iâm literally kicking my feet in the air and giggling like a delulu mess omg help đ)
what a fucking long request right? i went all out here đ yapper here đđťââď¸
jebal it would really make my whole fucking day if you really do thisđ itâs like my dream fic to read? lolđ
babygirlll you're the sweetest! ilysmm and you're literally my fav reader did I every say that? your sweet comments make my day! :(
also tysm for giving me such a detailed jimin fic request! because I usually don't get many of them, and y'all really help me when I run out of ideas, also let me tell you babe I'm truly honored that you've trusted me with your very first request (i'm crying because you're literally an angel tf)
now let me get to your request! i LOVE brothers best friend trope, and vmin? gurl I'm screaming because it's gonna eat so hard, also the angst and spiciness I'm getting from your description is insane. I love praise kink too đł and calling jimin 'mimi/mini' is my weak spot literally. tysm for this idea of yours and I promise to write this oneshot asap! I'm also saving the idea in my notes app so I don't forget hehe đŤś
ooh my goshđđđ im literally giggling so muchhhh WHATTT IM BLUSHINGGG thankyou so muchhhđđ wdym your fav reader omg im really blushing rn ishfksksdkjsks i was kinda nervous about making a fic request because itâs my first time doing it TnT thinking it might be too much for requesting sumthing like this BUT URGH im literally so grateful that youâre willingly making my request đĽšđ AND i really trust you on making this fic because bae your fics are awesome and beautiful đŠđŤśđťđ
and THATS WHAT IM SAYING i have the BIGGEST weak spot for calling jimin âmimiâ đŠđŠ
thankyouu thankyou so muchhh your literally so sweetđ and for following me too iloveyousomuchđđŤśđťđ
Before we begin, a gentle warning: this post touches on some heavy topicsâself-harm, suicide, childhood trauma, and mental health. If these are tender places for you, please take care of yourself first. You donât have to read this. You come first. Always.
The breaking
I wish I could say there was one reason I left, one singular thing that cracked me open and made me disappear. But life isnât that neat, is it? It was everything, all at onceâthe weight of low engagement, the endless comparisons, the silent echoes in the spaces where I hoped for connection. It was the exhaustion of always lifting others while I crumbled beneath my own hands, the way Iâd pour and pour and pour until my cup was bone-dry.
Iâve never been good at putting myself first. So I did something drastic. I erased myself. I deleted my blog. And even though I know I needed to do it, even though I was drowningâit still stings. Because I know I disappointed people. Because I felt like I failed.
But sometimes, you have to lose yourself to find yourself again.
The staying (or at least, the blog is)
Fifteen years. Thatâs how long my original blog existed (RIP, old friend). It was a part of me, woven into my story. And even when I stepped away, I still felt the pullâthe whisper of unfinished business. I missed the good parts, the warmth, the shared love for stories. And most of all, I felt like I owed it to youâto the people who found pieces of themselves in my wordsâto keep those stories alive, even if I wasnât always here to tend to them.
I donât know if Iâll be active. I donât know if Iâll post new things. The same reasons that made me leave still sit heavy on my chest sometimes. But Iâve learned something in all of this: healing isnât a straight path. It isnât a neat little checklist where you wake up one day andâboom!âall better. Itâs messy. Itâs cyclical. Some days I feel invincible, and some days I feel like a ghost haunting my own life.
Iâm staying, but Iâm staying on my own terms.
The healing
Hereâs the scariest part: I donât really know who I am. I donât know where I begin and where my trauma ends. For so long, Iâve been a collection of survival tactics, stitched together with coping mechanisms and old wounds. Iâve been the person who tries to fix everythingâpeople, situations, the cracks in the universe itselfâbecause maybe if I can make others happy, I can be happy too.
But thatâs not how healing works.
And I want to heal. I want to love without needing to be needed. I want to give without emptying myself. I want to exist simply because I deserve to existânot because I think I have to prove my worth to anyone.
In my time away, I rediscovered something thatâs been a lifeline: poetry. I wrote my pain into verses, shaped my grief into something tangible, something outside of me. And somewhere in that process, I found a little light. Enough light to choose to stay. Enough light to call my doctor that day instead of following through with a plan I had convinced myself was necessary. Enough light to realize that I donât actually want to dieâI just want the pain to stop.
And now, I want to live. Fully, wholly, authentically. I want to love my husband and my kids the way I needed to be loved as a child. I want to keep givingâbut from a place of joy, not from a place of depletion. I want to share, not because I need validation, but because I already know I am enough.
So if I pop in and out, know that itâs not because I donât care. Itâs because I am taking care. Of myself. Of the little girl inside me who deserved softness, but never got it. Of the future version of me who deserves to be whole.
To you, with Love
If youâve read this farâthank you. Truly.
If you are struggling, if you carry trauma, if your mind feels like a storm you canât escapeâplease, please know: you are not alone. Even in a crowded room, even when it feels like no one sees youâI promise, someone does. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here (or on Discord, same username).
I hear you lissa, I simply wanted to say that. And I really apologize for the silent way you've been carrying all of that for so long. It's good that it wasn't just one item; sometimes it's the tiny things that add up to more than you should ever be carrying on your own. Choosing yourself, even in a way that feels drastic, isnât failure. Itâs survival. And itâs brave. You did what you needed to do to breathe again, and thereâs so much strength in that, even if it doesnât feel like it right now. You don't have to be constantly pouring from an empty cup to those who care about you. You are everything they need. If taking a step back was necessary to begin discovering who you are again, I hope you give yourself grace as you make that initial move.
You didnât fail. Youâre still here. And youâre finding your way back that matters more than anything.
Wow fifteen years⌠lissa thatâs such a beautiful legacy. Itâs more than just a blogâit sounds like it was a home, not just for you, but for so many others who found comfort in your words. I can only imagine how hard it was to let go, and how brave it is to come back, even with the weight still sitting on your chest sometimes. It's strong that you're deciding to stay, even if it's on your terms and may seem different now. Even though you owe no one anything, it shows how much you care about them. You're free to preserve your tranquility while still making room for the love you put into those tales since you've already given so much of yourself. As you mentioned, healing isn't linear. You're here, even though some days will feel more difficult than others. And that counts. It doesn't matter if this next chapter is loud or quiet, complex or straightforward. You are sufficient. It's also acceptable if all you do is breathe and be:)
I hope you know how powerful it is that youâre still here. That you chose to stay, even when everything in you was tired. That you found even the smallest light and held onto it. Thatâs not weaknessâthatâs extraordinary strength. You are not the things youâve had to survive. Youâre not just coping mechanisms or old wounds. You are a whole person, worthy of love, peace, and ease, even on the days itâs hard to believe it.
You donât need to fix anything to deserve happiness. You donât need to be needed to be loved. You are enough just as you are, right now. And Iâm so glad youâre still here, choosing yourself, even in the smallest ways. Thatâs what healing looks like.
Youâre not alone in this.â¤ď¸âđŠš
Making the decision to live fully, on your own terms, at age 31, is such a strong place to be. Giving something genuine and healing to yourself and those you care about is what you're doing. It's not simple effort to break old patterns and love from a place of delight rather than exhaustion. It is both lovely and courageous. If you step away sometimes, itâs because youâre finally giving yourself the care youâve always given everyone else. Youâre tending to the little girl inside you who deserved more, and youâre creating a future where the 31-year-old you gets to be whole. Thatâs something to be proud of.
And Iâm proud of you lissa. Trulyâ¤ď¸âđŠš
Thank you for sharing all of this with us for being so open, so honest, and so brave. Your words have always had a way of making people feel seen, but this⌠this is something else entirely. Youâve turned your own pain into something that offers light for the rest of us, and I hope you know how much that matters.
You donât owe us anything, but the fact that youâre still here, still choosing to stay, still offering kindness even while healingâthatâs a gift. And I hope youâre giving yourself that same gentleness. Weâll be here, whether youâre around often or just when it feels right for you. Youâve already given so much of yourself. Now itâs okay to take care of you. And Iâm really beyond happy to have you back here:3
I think by now, you can probably tell how much Lissa aka @kingofbodyrolls means to me.
The reason I share her words and talk about her is because she is unique. She has always been there, the person I have confided in, talked to, and relied on. She has been my sole true buddy in this place, which can occasionally feel quite large and lonely. I can't even begin to describe how much that means to me.
So Iâm making an effort. To post, to show up, to be here. Not because I feel like I have to, but because I want to. Because I believe in showing up for the people who matter, and for the little corners of the world that still feel like home.
Thank you if youâve read this far. And thank you, Lissa, for being hereâfor all of us, but especially for me.
Iâm really glad youâre here. And I believe the world needs your light, too:)
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