"You bought the entire building?"
"It was a sound financial investment," Sirius said quickly.
Remus stood by the glass, holding his mug of tea and watching a team of goblins magically board up the bakery across the street. "Sirius, you hate real estate."
"And I liked that bakery." Remus took a sip of tea. "The bloke who works there always gives me extra éclairs. Just yesterday, he was telling me I have nice eyes, and he asked if I wanted to get dinner—"
Sirius’s hand twitched, and the teacup he was holding shattered into a dozen pieces.
"Which is exactly why the place had to go!" Sirius snapped, vanishing the shards with a flick of his wand. "The man was giving you free éclairs. Do you know what that means?"
"No, it means he wanted something."
Remus blinked. "I think he was just being polite, Sirius. He seemed very genuine."
Sirius made a noise that definitely wasn’t human. He marched over to the window, pressing his forehead against the glass as he glared down at the now-jobless baker standing bewildered on the pavement. "Polite? He touched your hand when he gave you your change on Tuesday! He lingered! For three entire seconds!"
"I think he was just trying not to drop the sickles," Remus reasoned, completely missing the jealousy radiating off his best friend. "Anyway, it’s a shame. Where am I going to get my bread now?"
"I will bake you bread," Sirius blurted out. "I will hire a team of personal, highly-trained French chefs to live in your kitchen. You will never need another carbohydrate from that idiot as long as you live."
Remus looked at him, deeply confused by this sudden passion for culinary independence. "Okay. If you insist. What are you putting in the building instead, then?"
"A warded facility for very dangerous carnivorous plants," Sirius growled, watching the baker walk away. "If he wants to give you another éclair, he can risk losing a limb for it."
Remus paused, his mug stopping halfway to his lips. "Wait."
"You weren't with me on Tuesday," Remus said slowly. "How did you know he touched my hand?"
Sirius turned slowly from the window, looking suddenly cornered.
Remus looked at the boarded-up bakery, then back at his friend. "Sirius... did you buy a building just to stop me from going on a date?"
Sirius swallowed hard, his gaze flicking away for a moment before returning to Remus.
"And I would do it again."
