Hi, I think i may be experiencing seizures. I've been experiencing things that I think could be seizures. Let me describe them, and could someone say if they think maybe they are too?
1. uncontrollable shaking + spasms? I don't know
Um, okay, the title says it all. It's the one I've had the least. I can't really tell you much because I've only experienced it around other people once, and it's hard for me to remember stuff from it and all the evidence after is that I'm sore, tired, have a hard time speaking.
Beforehand, I'll get like off balance, like I'll have to sit, or I'll collapse, but this is like minutes before, so I don't know if it's correlated or not
I had it happen for the first time a few weeks ago at a pool party. Actually, what alerted me to something maybe being wrong. It went on for about two hours, not like two hours straight, but it would stop + start again
I've had it happen twice since the first time.
2. Prisoner of my own body
I'm just... stuck for a little bit. Beforehand my limbs will go numb and like hours before I'll get a headache.
During? Its pretty fucking scary. No matter how hard I try to move, my body is stuck. I expirence twitches but... not caused by me. My eye movement, even, is limited, I can only look up and down.
Afterward, I usually have a headache, have a hard time with speech and fine motor skills. I also act impulsive... perhaps childishly.
I expirence this the most. It happened for the first time the day after the party I mentioned.
Since the first, it happened twice more days apart, but over the past four days, I've had it happen at least once a day since, yesterday was twice. It hasn't happened to be yet today, as of right now it's 2 pm so.
I've been having twitches and really short moments where a muscle with tense really hard and painfully before relaxing.
I'm scared it might be changing me too, whatever this is, even if it's not seizures, I feel like it's taking something from me. I've had horrible brain fog, and I don't know, just feel less... less what? me, maybe. Most of my identity revolves around my intelligence and abilities in English. The other half revolves around other people.
I make more spelling errors, forget words I should know. This is taking so long to type because I keep having to correct typos or I take a long time to find a good word, a word someone with I vocabulary like mine would use. I know I probably sound pretentious, like I'm bragging, like I think I'm better than others, but... I dont. These are just facts of who I am. Facts that are quickly becoming false.
My dog knocked my headphones down, and when asking my brother to pick them up? I couldn't do that right. I wanted to say, "Can you pick up my headphones? Hickory knocked then down." Do you know what I said instead? "he knocked my...." I knew what I was meant to say, but I couldn't. The words didn't leave my mouth, I couldn't say my dogs name and I couldn't remember the word for headphones until my brother said it.
I texted my boyfriend "js woke up wsg" That's so out of character. I've never used "wsg" in my life. It's so out of characte, my boyfriend pointed it out.
On top of brain fog and personal changes, I'm just... spacey. I'll zone out for a short while, losing seconds to minutes without realizing it. That didn't happen before. I'd dissociate, sure, but... I know what that feels like, and it's none of this.
This has really started to affect my life, and I'd love to know if what I think is going on could actually be what's happening? I don't know, I just need to know I'm not crazy and there's something for sure happening to me.
I don't know what's going on, seizures is the best explanation I can think of, but that also doesn't make sense? I've never had any indication of seizures before, it'd be so sudden. No one in my family gets seizures. Maybe it's related to my chronic illness? Unsure. I don't have a full diagnosis, all doctors I've seen have given me the ol' "you have something really wrong with you, but we dont know what it is and you're coping so whatever lol!" so...
Sorry for coming to tumblr with this, but I can't see a doctor right now. It's just not feasible for both personal and financial reasons.
Any and all input appreciated
