Getting so much interaction on this blog as of late... ok, well, here's a list of defining traits for you to get the gist of me:
I don't follow back bc I don't want to conflate this blog w my main in any capacity
My personality is if Kaveh was as autistic as the rest of 4ggravate
I'm an adult with a serious adult job but somehow, you will find me online more often than not. This is my version of Kaveh's alcoholism ig
I mostly shitpost, it's not serious
I'm every flavor of queer, and not white nor christian. Keep in mind.
I F2P, joined october 2025 and main Zhongli, Flins and Chasca
I'm down bad for Xiao and Zhongli in particular
I draw fanart (lil bit) and write ff (bit more), but I mostly read a heckload of fics then analyze them like literary pieces
I don't always tag my posts bc?? it's not important imo I'm just ranting to the void if you wanna listen in that's your choice
I maintain the right to be morally impure by other people's standards, idc. By Furina's words, "even if you look down upon me you have no right to judge me."
If you dig back far enough into this blog you will find dsmp. Neither of us want that. Don't do it. I'm saving you time rn
At this rate Pope will become the only reliable character of the lineup which is a terrible shame considering he's an awful human being and should have died
I resent how much this show made me like him. Rather, I don't like him, but seeing him makes me feel irrationally safe
Imagine if Kaveh's mom sent him a letter saying there's been an influx of new jobs in her area and she's too busy to accept even half of them, so she thought to invite him to live with her in Fontaine, then she could redirect all those other projects to him...? The offer of work and money, staying with his mother again... what would he do?
Kaveh reading the letter and just thinking about it in silence for a few days, trying to come up with an excuse to stay in Sumeru, but ultimately he thinks it's for the best he goes, so he wouldn't burden Alhaitham anymore.
Him telling Alhaitham and breaking his heart unknowingly
Alhaitham trying to come up with every reason Kaveh shouldn't go but coming up empty
The two of them on a deadline, Kaveh gives himself a week to pack.
Both of them treating it as a deadline for confessing their feelings 😭😢
My sister who I got into genshin finally got a 5star from a banner...! However, uh, t'was Tighnari... I had to remind her of what we spoke about, 50/50s... that's harsh man her first ever was a loss
I love Itto but his ingame model pisses me off. Before I got into the game I only knew of him as the iconic unserious buff oni guy, I was hyped for him, to meet him, and then his ingame model is just standard tall male. No arm muscles to speak of, so him being that tall just makes him look like spaghetti man.
I'm so picky with my fics and FINALLY I found one that rocks my socks off, went to the writer's page only to find out they only ever wrote this one fic. Modern day tragedy as far as I'm concerned
"I am large, I contain multitudes" said Walt Whitman. Indeed, I am capable of agreeing with the claim that "love at first sight is not realistic and often falls flat or removes layers of depth from a ship," while still melting to a puddle whenever a fic executes the trope just right
Okay I will share my Dottore x Pantalone thoughts but ya'll gotta be normal and remember this ship is made of two uniquely fucked up men within a video game, clarifying for the bloodthirsty puritans in the back: that means whatever I say here is not me condoning anything similar irl.
Zandik first met Feofan aka Pantalone in the form of a test subject. He was to ingest a kind of poison, only, Pantalone had always been both a little fucked in the head and very perceptive, so even facing his executioner he managed to make an intelligent observation on the study. "The others took ten seconds each, but with the state of my immune system... I can't help but wonder how it came to be that I was chosen for this kind of experiment given my poor health."
Zandik was intrigued and you can't blame him, this was the first subject to ever say anything worthwhile to him. He's so used to people pleading for their lives, never encountered anyone who was genuinely curious about his work before.
Zandik decides to pull Feofan out of the study, patches him up, lets him sit out experiments and take notes for him. "When you find an experiment you wish to participate in, let me know."
Pantalone is fucked up enough to go along with it. He doesn't enjoy the experiments like Zandik does, but he doesn't care for human life either: he wouldn't inflict the horrors, but doesn't flinch when Zandik does, either.
Pantalone makes a name for himself in the Fatui. The experiments he did choose to participate in made him a lot stronger than the average human, and he's always been a cunning bookkeeper. At Zandik's recommendation, Tsaritsa herself appoints him as Harbinger.
Pantalone is strong, but sickly- Zandik realizes if he doesn't fix him up, his favorite companion might die. That will not do. He was looking into immortality for himself anyway, so...
Zandik spends more resources on developing life prolonging methods, including soul splitting and segment cloning.
All of Dottore's segments in varying ages are infatuated with Pantalone. Naturally, since these are different versions of the same Zandik who viewed Feofan as his only friend.
Pantalone wants to participate in the experiments for developing the immortality elixir but at this point all Dottores are too attached to him, make it a condition that either Pantalone lets them split him into segments, or he'll have to wait for the finalized product. Pantalone refuses the offer of being segmented, so...
What Pantalone pretends not to know is that what Zandik gives him in the meantime is the life force of his own segments.
Knowing they stand much to gain from Pantalone taking charge of the Fatui funds (so he could channel them to the Dottores freely), Zandik and Pantalone pretend to be far less friendly than they are. Can't make it too obvious to the Tsaritsa that her bookkeeper's loyalties lie elsewhere.
This is in spite of Feofan being a little (as much as he could ever be) in love with Zandik, who in his views saved his life a thousand times, is his only friend and confident, and even gave him parts of his soul to consume. Very romantic. It's romantic on the segments' end too, but they don't know how to express any of that.
The Segments are great, all of them sacrificed an equal amount for Pantalone, love him a lot, but the one who holds all the memories, and who Pantalone remembers in his own mind from years ago, is Zandik, the main and original.
Pantalone can tell the immortality elixir isn't working on Zandik, anyone can tell really with how old he's gotten, but Pantalone knows WHY. It's exactly because he's been using his own soul, extending Feofan's lifespan with it no less.
One of the segments decides to bring it up in a conference meeting: the idea of marrying Pantalone. Zandik is taken aback, but literally all the dottores are willing. They discuss a plan, how it's unfair for any one segment to have him exclusively, so they'll share. Not with anyone else, but just among themselves as segments.
They bring it up to Pantalone as a group. He laughs and accepts, overjoyed. Of course he favors Zandik, but they all are him, he loves them all.
The wedding is secret and majorly fucked up. It's not as if anyone present belives in the holiness of marriage or anything, they just want to go through with it to officially stake their claim on Pantalone. They want to see him wear a ring, want him to show up where they live uninvited, want to bed him the way only Zandik was allowed to before...
Pantalone gets his pick: comes home and stands by the large living room doorframe whenever he wants one's company, picks the segment of the night and takes him to his room to everyone else's envy. Sometimes he'd pick two, rarely three, mostly Zandik though he tries not to make it obvious- he is, quite literally, married to them all at once.
On Zandik's 85th birthday Pantalone comes to visit at his lab, he wanted to wish him happy birthday, yet he found... you know. He should have been rattled, unsettled, but he couldn't really find it in himself to find any of his husbands unsettling. If this is what they wanted, he'd support them.
...Doesn't mean he didn't grieve, deeply, terribly. Got perscribed antidepressents years later... it was never quite the same.
The day the rest of his husbands were erased, he went into a rage. What for? Another gnosis? Was the envy really that terrible between them? He had a fight with his last husband, the omega segment- how could he do this to their marriage? And now when he left for more experiments, he would be leaving Pantalone all by himself for the first time in hundreds of years.
Pantalone couldn't even grieve, nobody knew he was ever married to the segments. Tsaritsa celebrated the gnosis' retrieval, happy to have pieces of her dead lover back... Pantalone couldn't resent it more, couldn't envy her more.
Pantalone is still angry with segment Omega when he decides he won't fund his Nod Krai expedition without collateral. Segment Omega does manage to earn himself some forgiveness, because they're the only ones they have again, Pantalone is his only true ally, and he's Pantalone's only true ally too.
They put their heads together and shape the plan of keeping half of Omega's soul in northland bank. It's just a precaution for Pantalone's peace of mind, they both believe in the new plan for Omega to make himself into a god, then he could theoretically revive everyone else as well.
Pantalone reminds him as half a threat that if he dies, he has no plan to keep living on his own. No, once the last of Dottore goes, Pantalone plans to follow him shortly into the afterlife. He wouldn't be able to prolong his own life if he tried, anyway.
When the news of Omega's death reaches Pantalone, his first reaction is one of anger. Only after that anger fades does he turn to miserable grief, then petty anger once again. He arranges all his ducks in order, takes the half soul of a husband he has left, and follows their plan to the T.
Their last few conversations are sweet but tense. Omega knows his husband is furious with him, but he wasn't even there to see the other half of his soul die, so it feels a little unfair. It was his fault the other segments were wiped out though, and even now their plan will very likely end in the departure of his remaining self.
Even through the tense exchanges, omega asks about Pantalone's wellbeing, frets about his health and proposes an idea for them to remain together, which Pantalone rejects. He whines about Pantalone ruining his good name, and teases him whenever possible.
It's time for them to part.
Omega is a segment of Zandik, though that meant he was only a snapshot of him in time... truly, Feofan's Zandik hadn't existed in a long, long while, but every time he looks at his husbands, that is who he sees. That is their true name, and the one he chooses to part with them by. It's only natural, the way his husband calls him Feofan, to return his affection one last time.
The running jokes about Zhongli being broke, spending all of Hu Tao's mora and doing anything to get paid, they all fall pretty flat to me. Not as funny as they originally were, at least...
Like, this is HIS flesh and blood. He personally ripped these pieces out of his being to make trade in teyvat easier. Why the FUCK should he beg for it back?? Hu Tao's mora? That mora is HIS. Hu tao is only temporarily in possession of something he has always been entitled to.
Him being broke is a choice, if he wanted to he could have just gone to Yuehai Pavilion and revealed his identity. Moreover he has the authority to recall back every piece of Mora in teyvat and leave humans with nothing. Leave the greedy fucking Fatui with nothing. He doesn't do that. He lets humans delude themselves that they own their Mora.
These jokes are kinda just disrespectful to him I feel
