wrecking ball

jake martin. botany major. perpetually stoned. miley cyrus fan.

[plaidkingmartin]

texts: brake.

jake: https://i.chzbgr.com/full/9085041920/hD8478B9A/

[plaidkingmartin]

@briezymartin: i'm entirely too pregnant and tired for jake to be high singing achy breaky heart this late oh my god.

@yeezymartin: @briezymartin haw yee

[just-shower-thoughts]

next year the whole month of april will be 420

[plaidkingmartin]

@fckdrewtorres: Im just gonna grab some popcorn.....i miss high school brie's rants so thanks gretchen

@yeezymartin: @fckdrewtorres it's honestly like a damn flashback when i open twitter sometimes. replace leo with eli and carl with like jesse or ryder and i'm like 'gasp. a clone'.

[plaidkingmartin]

text to jake.

Brie: cam is dead.

Brie: like forreal this time.

Brie: i...don't even know what to do.

Jake: what the fuck. what??? how?? No. He can't be.

[plaidkingmartin]

@briezymartin: @yeezymartin ha, can i be captain marvel instead? B) also, i love you.

@yeezymartin: @briezymartin ofc babe. i love you too.

[plaidkingmartin]

@briezymartin: i've been nauseous, tired, and bloated all day. i love knowing i'm going to be a mom, and that my body's now home to me and jake's baby...but...i could do without this. i've been snuggled up to jake all day long.

@yeezymartin: @briezymartin you're actually superwoman.

[plaidkingmartin]

@yeezymartin: just applied for a job at the official online ontario cannabis store. if i get this, i’ll have my dream job that’ll get great benefits for myself, my wife, and our future children. fingers crossed. thanks, trudeau. ✌🏻

[just-shower-thoughts]

A bong is the most elegant example of all four elements in perfect harmony.

[plaidkingmartin]

@briezymartin: @yeezymartin oh my god. i'm not mentally prepared. lmfao.

@yeezymartin: @briezymartin i really love that all our friends know i'm actively trying to knock you up because of our twitter convos. lmao.

[plaidkingmartin]

@briezymartin: as a dance teacher, i'd like to just say, fuck fortnite because at any point that any of my kids between the ages of 4-12 are left standing with no directions for any amount of time...floss. any. and. every. single. time.

@yeezymartin: @briezymartin we need 10 children so i can teach them fortnite dances.

[plaidkingmartin]

@briezymartin: @yeezymartin JACOB MARTIN.

@briezymartin: @yeezymartin TELL ME OR I'M SMOKING THE SECRET STASH YOU /THINK/ I DON'T KNOW ABOUT.

yeezymartin: @briezymartin we should prolly chill on the smoking some if youre gonna try to get pregnant soon

[plaidkingmartin]

@briezymartin: @yeezymartin DID. YOU. JUST. INSINUATE. WHAT. I. THINK. YOU DID.

@yeezymartin: @briezymartin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[plaidkingmartin]

@briezymartin: jake and i have had the same black light tapestry in our bedroom since we moved in together. that was over a year ago. the cat decided that, tonight, it needed to come off the wall completely. note: she also almost died because the black light came down too, but thankfully that landed on the bed and not the floor. i fucking can't some days.

@yeezymartin: @briezymartin might as well babyproof the damn apartment it'll double as cat proof

[plaidkingmartin]

@briezymartin: yooo, so a year ago, jake and i made this random decision to fly out to las vegas to see panic at the disco's hometown show. it was literally fucking amazing. then, after, we made another random decision to go get married. literally the only thing that would've made the situation better would've been if brendon urie himself could've officiated the wedding. lmfao. all that aside, happy anniversary to the love of my life and my bff, @yeezymartin. thanks for the best year ever at the expense of the death of a bachelor. c;

@yeezymartin @briezymartin i love you more than loud, popcorn, and p!atd. 1 year out of 1000000.

[plaidkingmartin]

TEXTS: BRAKE.

Brie: lmfaooooooo i love you

Brie: ok but dream 3some tho.

Jake: we can only hope it'll one day hapen.

Jake: I love you too

[plaidkingmartin]

TEXTS: BRAKE.

Brie: um i married you immediately after seeing brendon urie live and in person. obviously i love you a whole lot.

Jake: well fuck, true. same goes for you though because we both know i'd totally fuck brendon urie in a heartbeat.