i don't do bad sauce passes
⁂
taylor price
No title available
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Cosimo Galluzzi
oozey mess
trying on a metaphor
JVL
Sweet Seals For You, Always
🪼
NASA
h
Misplaced Lens Cap
RMH
cherry valley forever
Product Placement
Stranger Things
Not today Justin
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
seen from Singapore
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seen from Ukraine
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
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seen from Türkiye
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seen from Peru
seen from Singapore
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@planetary-redactness
IM MAKING THIS ONE ANNOUNCEMENT
EMPTY BLANK BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED I CANNOT HANDLE THE FUCKING PRON BOTS AND I WILL JUST BLOCK ANY BLANK ACCOUNT
At least give me something in your bio like ffs just “not active just here for the fandom” or something like that
Please
Hi hi!!
I’d love love love to see more of your Porter if you have the time 🙏 I’m actually so in love with your design for him, the tattoo of his logo is so insanely genius 😋
Hi!! Aw! Thank you!! 💕
here ya go:
I just think Porter would like some cozy romantical movies.
random kinda off beat redacted headcanons cuz why not?
wrapping guy in a fluffy blanket and calling him a silly burrito just to hear him giggle
shaving david's beard for him in the bathroom mirror, his head tipped back on your shoulder
gavin putting bandaids on your blistered feet and kissing up your calf
pranking milo by sitting and staring at him but giving no reaction or movement whatsoever until he starts yelling
drawing on sam's thicc biceps and kicking your feet in bed
going glasses shopping with lasko and having to soothe him after he finds out his glasses store multiplied their style options
drawing funny faces on vincent's bl00d bags so he laughs when he opens the fridge
going antiquing with porter just to hear him shit on other people's poor antiquing choices
lulling asher to sleep by reading literally anything aloud
buying candles with aaron and arguing about which one smells more like the other
making paperclip hearts and putting them on ollie's files and papers
trying to make anton traditional russian dishes and exploding the oven instead
nsfw !
lovely putting their hands on vincent's chest, pushing him into the car seat, straddling his lap.
lovely taking vincent's chin in between their fingers, tilting his head up at the most perfect angle, so their lips fit together seamlessly.
vincent's breathing growing ragged, his pulse picking up, his body erupting into goosebumps at just the low-lidded look lovely is giving him.
their fingers sliding past his temples, into the wild mess of his hair, holding his head firmly in place. the gleam of the whites of vincent's eyes, unable to blink for fear of missing out on the deity on his lap.
slowly, so slowly, lovely lowering their mouth to his. a chaste kiss at first, gentle, almost innocent.
and then their tongue, brushing against his like fire. electricity sizzling between their lips, locked together so hard it feels like suffocating. vincent's breaths are shaky, shuddering, as lovely tastes him like they're drinking from the deepest wine.
their hips are moving on his, sending an ecstatic shock through his body. his brain is foggy, desperation growing, his hands moving on their own and seeking more. lovely's whimpers fill vincent's mouth, and he swears he can taste them.
vincent's mind blows blank when lovely traces their tongue against his fang and pushes. no thoughts, just pure fucking desire. he has to pull away before he slams them against the car door and fucks their brains out.
"don't fucking-- holy shit--" his voice is raspy, graveled with lust, and shaking. he can't keep his hands off them, though, his immortal fingers fisting in their clothes.
he's fighting ferality, fighting the beast in his blood that screams to pin them down and devour.
lovely looks at him, dark eyes and darker desire. their voice is liquid and mesmerizing when they say, "don't hold back. i want it."
the car rattles and fills with the coppery scent of blood, the lush smells of sex, as vincent worships what is his.
Sweetheart fades in and out during a summer solstice. Their powers are out of control and don’t listen to them, so sometimes, without realising, they’ll become invisible for a few seconds before going back to normal.
Milo hates it. He knows just how much pride Sweetheart has in the masterful control they have of their stealth magic. He’s seen it first hand. He’s heard of the risky jobs they had to go through but carried out perfectly with their skill and finesse.
But here they were, fading in his arms. He can physically feel them still there, but every now and then it looks like he’s holding air.
The disappointment they have in themself shows on their face every time they return to normal, and it breaks his heart.
It’s hard to be confident in the abilities you spent years mastering to lose it all in one day. (Although they both know they’ll be back to normal tomorrow, it doesn’t undo the negative experience today.)
On these days Milo holds them as much as possible so that he can be there to keep them together if they fall apart. Quick trips to the kitchen are done hand in hand. Naps on the couch are done in each other’s arms. Every time Sweetheart fades, he calms them with his arms around their body, hands stroking their back as he reassures them that he’s here, that they’re still the amazing stealth they are, that what’s happening today doesn’t change anything about them, even if it doesn’t feel that way. Sweetheart seems full of confidence on the surface, but they’re much softer than many expect them to be on the inside.
Milo knows.
“I see you, baby.” He whispers in their ear as the waves came and went. “You’re okay. I see you.”
Cuddling with Anton is the best feeling ever
Especially in the winter
His fur is immaculately soft and warm, and he knows it. That’s why when he sees Love shivering, he’s quick to snuggle up to them and cover them with his tail (which is big enough to cover half of their body). He’ll even tap into a bit of magic to make his body hotter, something he learned just for them when they first told him that they run cold and get chilblains easily.
At night, he curls around them like a giant blanket. He loves the way Love would bury their face into his fur, hands against his skin to try and warm themselves up with his body heat.
He’ll give them a few wolf kisses, smiling when he feels their core light up and reflect his.
When he feels the cold tips of their fingers, he’ll hold them up to his mouth and breathe some warm air onto them before rubbing them between his hands.
And to top it all off, he makes the most hearty cup of hot chocolate every morning and night.
If Milo ever took Sweetheart on a trip back home to New Jersey this is their first stop as soon as they touch down.
(My personal order is a Toasted BLT grinder with provolone and parmesan. Don’t forget the mayo & red vinegar combo on the bread. If it’s summer Strawberry lemonade Calypso otherwise ROOT BEER 🫡)
Lean on me - David x Angel
(first time writing a little oneshot)
David insists he’s not old. You insist the evidence says otherwise. And unfortunately for him, the evidence usually sounds like his knees cracking every time he stands up.
One morning you’re both getting ready, and David bends down to pull on his socks before immediately grimacing at the loud pop from his knee.
You look over slowly.
“…Oh my god.”
He sighs. “Don’t.”
“That sounded prehistoric.”
“It was one crack.”
“You’re deteriorating.”
He glares at you while sitting on the edge of the bed, sock half on.
“I’m thirty-four.”
“Exactly.”
“That’s not old.”
You walk over, barely holding back a grin. “Okay grandpa, let me help before you throw your back out.”
“Angel.”
But he’s already smiling despite himself.
And somehow, after that day, it becomes a thing.
Not every morning.
Just the ones where he’s especially tired, or sore after the gym, or moving slower because he’s been working too much.
You’ll walk into the bedroom and find him sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing a hand over his knee.
And immediately… “Oh, your joints are acting up again?”
He rolls his eyes every single time.
“You are deeply annoying.”
“Mhm. Foot.”
He stares at you.
You wiggle your fingers impatiently.
After a second, he finally lifts his foot toward you with a long-suffering sigh.
“This is humiliating.”
“You love me.”
“That’s unrelated.”
You snort and crouch in front of him, sliding the sock properly over his foot.
“You know,” you say conversationally, “most elderly people are supposed to stretch regularly.”
“I’m not elderly.”
“You made a noise getting out of bed yesterday.”
“So did you.”
“Mine was emotional exhaustion.”
He laughs quietly at that, watching you pull the sock up carefully.
There’s something domestic about it that he secretly loves.
You between his knees, muttering insults while taking care of him anyway.
You finish one foot and immediately hold your hand out.
“Other one.”
“This feels like abuse.”
“You’re lucky I don’t put you in compression socks.”
“Angel.”
You grin wickedly. “A nice orthopedic shoe perhaps?”
He catches your wrist lightly before you can move away, tugging you closer until you’re standing between his legs.
“You done?” he asks, amused.
“No. I still need to schedule your retirement home tour.”
He shakes his head, smiling despite himself.
Then his hands slide around your waist.
“You know,” he murmurs, looking up at you, “normal people don’t bully the person they’re helping.”
“I’m keeping you humble.”
“You’re a menace”
“And thriving. Unlike your knees.”
He laughs properly then, head tipping back slightly.
“There he is,” you say smugly. “See? Good for your circulation.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“But your socks are on.”
He glances down at them.
“…They are.”
“Exactly.”
You start to pull away, but his grip tightens slightly around your waist.
“Thank you,” he says quietly.
Your expression softens immediately.
Because beneath all the teasing, you know what this really is, love in tiny routines.
So you lean down and kiss his forehead gently.
“You’re welcome, old man.”
He groans.
“You ruin every nice moment.”
You grin.
“I love you too”
His hands pull you closer instantly, forehead resting against your stomach.
“I love you more”
I’ve said it before, but hc that all the wolves and vamps’ eyes glow a bit when they’re really giving into their desire for their mates/partners.
Their gaze becomes more intense, and it’s like everything even down to their magical core wants their partner (and it’s so hot).
A part of David was afraid that Angel would see his eyes glow and become scared of him because it really heightens the primal part of him. He hadn’t even shifted for them at that point.
“My eyes… they might… glow a little.” He broke the kiss, eyes full of sincerity as he held their hand, trying to reassure them the best he can. His heart was pounding, unsure of what their reaction could be.
“Glow? Like, magic or something?”
David nodded. “It happens to us when we tap into the more primal part of our cores. It’s a sign of our desire.”
Angel was silent for a moment, making David panic.
Maybe it was too fast. Maybe he should have eased them into everything slower.
His thoughts were interrupted when Angel kissed him, passionate and deep. It didn’t take him long to melt into the kiss, lips dancing with theirs.
It felt familiar. It felt like them. His mate.
Oh, his mate.
They parted, chests heaving to catch their breaths.
That’s when Angel saw it - a golden glow lighting up David’s eyes. Something about it sent a wave of excitement down to their core, their legs squeezing together almost on instinct.
David’s eyes widened in surprise - Angel’s sweet desire was seeping into his core and he could feel it grow as their gazes met.
He couldn’t help but laugh.
Of course Angel would find it hot. He should have known.
“Mmm… you like it, huh?” He spoke low into their ear, letting his chest rumble almost like a growl.
Angel was hiding something. David could tell. They were never good at lying to him. Even if they put on their best poker face, the nervousness in their heart gave them away.
They had been “busy” these past few days. He wouldn’t have found it suspicious if it wasn’t for Milo and Asher to mention having plans at the exact same time Angel told him they’d be busy. And it wasn’t just a one day thing, it happened for a good two weeks.
He came back earlier than usual one evening, and was met with a scrambling Angel who shut the door in his with an apologetic look on their face.
“Sorry, give me a minute. Please.”
The door was shut before he could reply.
After a minute or two, the door opened again to a breathless Angel, heart pounding in their chest.
“Okay. Come in.”
David raised an eyebrow. “Are you hiding something from me?” He half meant it as a joke, but something must have struck with Angel, for their smile fell for a split second. They hated how worried they made him when they were sorting out things with their ex and their cat. The last thing they wanted was to repeat the past.
“No! I swear it’s not anything bad. But… I’d like some time. I’ll explain everything once it’s done.”
Their gaze was sincere, and the nervousness in their heartbeat wasn’t lost on him. His inner wolf flattened his ears, whimpering. He hated seeing Angel like this, especially if he was the cause, even if indirectly.
David sighed through his nose and smiled, kissing their forehead. “All right. I trust you.”
And he did. With all his heart.
That’s why he didn’t hesitate to give Angel his lottery ticket when they asked.
“I promise I’ll take good care of it.” They said, arms behind their back and feet shuffling, like they were nervous about how he’d take it.
“I know. I trust you.” He replied, taking it out from his top drawer and giving it to them.
Their face lit up with relief, and they kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you!!” Then they sped away, footsteps light.
That alone was enough to make him smile.
He’d do anything to make them happy.
A few days later, he came home to find Angel at the door, hiding something behind their back.
They welcomed him in, tip toeing to give him a kiss.
“Angel?” He questioned when they pulled away.
“I made this.” They brought their hands to the front and revealed a framed collage - one filled with various photos of him and Gabe (some David didn’t even know existed), and featuring the lottery ticket front and centre.
Before, the memory of him brought nothing but pain - like looking straight at the sun, only to realise that you’re been standing in it’s shadow all this time.
But now, it brought a sense of comfort. The past doesn’t hurt anymore.
Not when he had a mate that took his hand and reminded him of the good that happened in the bad.
Gently, David took the frame in his hands, eyes scanning each photo as he reminisced the memories within each one. Angel stood next to him, leaning their head against his arm.
“I asked Marie and Asher’s parents for some photos. It was hard to put it together without you knowing, although I’m sure you could tell something was going on.” They laughed. “But still, I wanted it to be a surprise. I wanted to make you smile on… his anniversary.”
David wrapped an arm around them, kissing the top of their head. “What did I do to deserve you.” He said, voice uncharacteristically soft with emotion.
“I love you so much. Thank you, for this. It means more than I have words to express.”
Angel beamed, hugging him.
“Then the effort was worth it.” They giggled.
David smiled to feel their heart beat slow, their nervousness and stress from the previous few weeks finally gone.
His core glowed warm in relief.
marie showing up at the aftermath of the inversion, finding sam's stubborn ass trying to finish healing asher, but was on the verge of blacking out. she and david pulled sam back before he could do more damage to himself, realizing sam saved asher's life. despite not knowing much about him, she still pulled him in a tight hug that reminded him of his own mother, silently thanking him. since then, she'd always make sure to send lil gifts to sam and darlin like she does for the pack. if marie sends gifts to someone, especially the mates, then they're a part of the pack
Angel is one of the the Rare people who don't act or look drunk when their drunk. This has led to so funny moments.
Angel sitting criss-cross applesauce on the counter. it was a mates hang-out day.
Angel - i have skittles
Sweetheart - Can i have some
Angel - ya go ahead
sweetheart takes a BIG ASS HANDFULL
Angel - YOU BITCH that was a quarter of my skittles
Sweetheart walks away laughing
Angel - I would attack you but i'm to lazy... and i might fall over.
Babe - how have you drank
Angel - looks at the book ( they have a book so they can keep track of how much alcohol they have drank )
Angel - why is there two of the book.
Sweetheart - what do you mean
Angel - theirs two of the book. Oh i'm drunk
Babe - how many have you had
Angel - looks at babe " 7 "
Sweetheart - you don't look drunk
Angel - I know
@porters-treasure @razing-max @irlbaaabe @elvishdemigod
David entertains Angel and their weird spontaneous questions.
One night they were eating a bag of chips and randomly took two out, holding them out to David.
“Now which one do you think I prefer.”
Mind you, they were the same flavour and came from the same chip bag.
David, instead of giving a quick answer and dismissing them, put down his phone and took the chips in his hand. He looked at them closely, examining its shape, how much seasoning was on each chip, and how appealing it was overall.
After a few moments, he answered with “this one”, holding up the chip that was folded in half as opposed to the chip that had an air bubble in it.
“You’d go for something that has more layers and feels more satisfying to crunch into. Plus, the other one had too much seasoning, which takes away from the experience. You don’t like the ones with air bubbles in it because it feels like it’s gaslighting you into thinking it’ll have a good crunch, when it’s more like a anticlimactic skinny twig snapping in half.”
Angel was beaming.
“Gods, I love you so much.”
David chuckled at their sudden confession. He smiled - it was getting entertaining. Especially when he can see the love overflowing from his mate when they realise (again) how well he knew them.
“Ask me again.”
“Hmm…” Angel looked around on the table for their next target. They picked up what looked to be two identical grapes, and handed them to David.
He took a few seconds to ponder, before setting them down and pointing to the one on his left.
“This one.”
Angel lit up. “Why?”
“It’s firmer, more crunchy. The other one feels firm on the outside, but you can tell there’s a bit more squish on the inside. You like grapes but only the really crunchy juicy ones. I always pick out and eat the squishy ones for you.”
They were speechless.
“Wait… you do?”
“Yeah. You didn’t notice?”
“I thought I was just lucky at picking good bags of grapes.”
“Well, now you know.”
They jumped up and peppered their mate with kisses.
They didn’t think it could be possible, but their love for him amplified tenfold.
domestic exhaustion
burnt out, emotionally exhausted angel lying on the couch face down with their hair a mess and still with one shoe on
david coming home from work, equally exhausted, scratches on his face, muscles sore
he kicks off his shoes, pulls off angel's, and collapses on the sofa next to them
they say literally nothing besides "fuck" "yeah me too"
david doordashes food by auto-clicking whatever they got last
angel gets it at the door (its guy) and is so delirious they tip him a whole twenty. they both stare at the bill. angel just pats guy on the cheek and closes the door
I feel as if someone has definitely done this in the past and I apologize deeply for that
But
May I share how I think the wolf guys would react to being called "good boy"...?
A little suggestive?? Not really nsfw, not really sfw, kind of... In between. (I don't write outright sex, I'm both not good at it nor am I comfortable with writing it I'll keep things suggestive for the time being.)
I feel like Gavin would be an absolute god at Prophunter once he got the hang of it. He somehow gets the perfect spot that looks so natural that none of the others figure it out. As a hunter, he can track any of the others down. Even the slightest sound of movement and he's on his way to blast a pot halfway across the map.
Huxley gets too curious and tries to sneak around as a prop, usually a small one so he can see where the hunter(s) is. But he ends up bumping into one thing that sells him out and he gets shot immediately. He's good at being a hunter though. He just sits and waits until one of them decides to check where he is, he just lays in wait for his "prey."
Damien is the taunter. He's in some spot that is hard to get to and he just spams the button to mess with the others. But do that to him, and he's shooting everything within the radius.
Lasko, he gets too anxious and ends up selling himself out. If the hunter is even within sight, he accidentally gasps or makes a faint noise and the hunter knows they're in the right spot. He still ends up winning the round despite it because he never fully ever gives his spot away. He, however, hates being the hunter because he can never find anyone. Or, at least, he acts like he can't. He ends up letting the others go. He prefers being the prop than the hunter.
Freelancer is the one to do the wall thing (think what Smii7y does) with whatever prop would be the funniest. They've done chairs, they've done tables, the best spot they did was a pumpkin stuck to a wall that ended up blending in on one of the maps. They're a little chaotic as the hunter, trying to trickshot the bombs or trying to guess if a prop is one of the others with the landmines. Or they end up losing because they shoot too many things without healing.
Dear is a bit too good at being the hunter than being a prop. They want to be the hunter every round, it's more fun to them. But if they're the prop, they always hide in the most obscure corners, the kind that it'd be hard for the hunter to even get to. Is it cheating? Kinda. But is it fun seeing Damien or Gavin try to find them because the others can hear the taunt but can't see the prop? Absolutely.
