I honestly don't want to be here.

This is where I'd put my name, if they let me do that. I imagine I'd put my age, as well as perhaps my current occupation or base of operations, around this area of the blog description, but they aren't letting me do that, either. Really, I'm only supposed to use this thing to log investigation progress. But screw them, they put a dog collar on my leg.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

"Obviously" ...? ;) nice

And just like that, your IP has been traced and I’ve flooded your drives with downloaded copies of Minecraft lets-plays. Have fun cleaning that out one by one, Dr. Miracle.

Also, blocked. See you in hell.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

No, I didn't ask about Charon's ass. I asked about Mars and Jupiter

Someone actually has a decent sense of humor. Miracles are reality, ladies and gentlemen.

Mars, obviously. Jupiter’s in jail, she can’t hurt me from there. Mars could be anywhere, ready to strike me down in an instant. Might even be a decent reprieve from the Shock Jockey Rodeo 9000. 

[planetnumbersix-blog]

You suck, moron.

Get that one at clown college, you excuse?

[planetnumbersix-blog]

Best ass: Mars or Jupiter

Santa Claus, obviously.

[theamazingtrainernate-archived]

Ok, so we’ve practically looked all over this region, checked out all of @planetnumbersix’s locations, and we’ve come up with jack all. Honestly, I’m not even sure if just the three of us can track this guy.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

Could’ve decided things were too hot. Skipped to Kanto. 

But knowing him… maybe we’re underestimating the height of his goals here. Even if he’s on the run, wouldn’t be like him to squat in some shitty cave for weeks on end.

[theamazingtrainernate-archived]

Well the only significant thing we know is that he’s got the prototype of of that “Plan B” bomb, that may or may not work… I guess we’re gonna have to work off of that.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

The Prototype Galactic bomb was, last I fucking saw, a metal shell that we stuck shit into to make explosions. Quasimodo and I made that thing from practical garbage. Unless he has a flawless power source it’ll either burn out like discount fireworks or turn him into gelatin the second it’s powered up.

[goddessof--war]

That was easy enough.

Incompetent fool. @oceanseaqueen great work. It’s… good to know we have each other’s backs.

[oceanseaqueen-blog]

Anytime…but it looks like we’ve got more company.

[goddessof--war]

Shit.

[oceanseaqueen-blog]

With any luck they’ll be equally incompetent.

[theamazingtrainernate-archived]

Ok, so we’ve practically looked all over this region, checked out all of @planetnumbersix’s locations, and we’ve come up with jack all. Honestly, I’m not even sure if just the three of us can track this guy.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

Could’ve decided things were too hot. Skipped to Kanto. 

But knowing him... maybe we’re underestimating the height of his goals here. Even if he’s on the run, wouldn’t be like him to squat in some shitty cave for weeks on end.

[mrbenwyatt]

[planetnumbersix-blog]

What was the best part of being a Commander?

Fuck off.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

What's jail like?

No, seriously. Fuck off.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

Would you fuck Mars

Go away.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

Would you fuck Jupiter

[planetnumbersix-blog]

Would you fuck Cyrus

[planetnumbersix-blog]

Would you fuck Charon

This ask is undeserving of a proper response. Have morbid humor instead.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

I'm a slut for planets

Do I look like an Interstellar hentai producer/salesman? No? Congratulations, you have functioning fucking eyes.

[dhauwjwncjsiwnxn]

This dude just walked into mcdonalds with a case of beer in hand and yelled “Where the fuck am I?”

Update: this dude just ordered 100 chicken nuggets. He is officially my idol.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

Hey, @theamazingtrainernate. Pull your head out of the shitter for a minute, I’ve got a question to ask you. Since you’re so eager to put a “higher moral ground” underneath all your actions, what’s your excuse for hunting this asshole? Is it the cliche justice shit, or something more personal?

[theamazingtrainernate-archived]

He set in motion events that could have destroyed the entire universe, and probably would have if a certain few people weren’t there to stop it. Now, by some weird chain of events, he appears out of nowhere and bails one of his associates out of a high security prison, steals some shit from a guy who’s probably equally as shady as him which he could be using for arceus knows what, and now has a giant fucking bomb.

He’s a threat and has to be stopped.

[planetnumbersix-blog]

… Wrong.

Wrong, asshole. All that objective shit is the wrong fucking answer. I’m not asking you for a fucking grocery list. I’m not asking you what he’s done. I’m not asking you what he could do. I’m asking you none of that.

I’m asking you how much you HATE.

And judging by that answer? It’s not enough.

[theamazingtrainernate-archived]

What the fuck does that even mean?

[planetnumbersix-blog]

I’ve been researching the geographical makeup of Unova. Judging by where we last saw him, travel time, and the transport he could possible use, I’ve compiled a list of locations he could be hiding. If you’re done playing patty-cake with your obnoxious Qwilfish of a “best friend”, I suggest we get moving.

[theamazingtrainernate-archived]

Fine. Whatever. What do you think’s the most likely location?

[planetnumbersix-blog]

It’s a secret, dumbass. You really think he’s not watching us? If I can’t trace his tech, I have no way of telling if he’s found our blogs. And after he saw me in that bunker with a “bounty hunter” like you, there’s no way he’s NOT looking for answers.