so its been a good.... year since i was last active on this blog
ive been working on myself since graduation honestly, my depression was worse than it had ever been and my mental health kept declining until finally it all kinda imploded haha
but in the bright side i have been really successful in keeping a journal since graduation!! its just sketches but im really proud of how many pieces i actually finished rather than quit partway through
long story short i am back after a four ish month stay in an eating disorder recovery clinic. i had relapsed to the point of hospitalization but now that im starting to recieve all the billing statements im!!! encouraged to leave recovery sooner than my team has advised.
i love all the amazing people i met through treatment and cherish the hell out of them, but unfortunately now im kinda out on my own with all the support i had at the clinic gone. now im just left to think about all the people i isolated from when my anorexia started showing her face
at least that allows me the comfort of knowing ive grown since that time, but still. its discouraging to look back on the relationships i would have liked to have continued growing and see how they were dismantled. i hate associating with the “self” i had to be to survive my mental state back then.
Maybe this time of year will just have a air of regret, i just need to have paitence and learn to forgive myself as much as i have been able to forgive others. at least im not where i was then right
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