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Product Placement
Not today Justin
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if i look back, i am lost
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
we're not kids anymore.
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@plantaagomaajor
*test driving a car with the salesperson in the car with me* hey do you mind if i test the sound system with my music?
yeah sure go ahead
*connect my mp3 player*
*song starts and the vocals are clearly my voice*
i love crashing my car, crashing the car i'm driving is my favourite, the only thing i love more than crashing cars is crashing cars with other people in the car with me
if someone wanted to make a OFTS BostonNick FMV set to Chappell Roan's "Casual" I would be very very happy.................................. ;) ;)
as good of a time as any to share my list of activities I do during what i like to call Scheduled Soul Maintenence to avoid burnout
go on an aimless bike/ride/walk - move your body, do it for as long as you feel like it, discover new places near you weather that is a frog or a cafe
watch a new movie/read a new book/listen to a new album - get inspired, excercise having opinions and longer attention span, break out of consuming content and make a choice about what you want to expirience
create something in a medium i haven't used in a while - get out of a habit, rekindle a flame you haven't been upkeeping, making a friendship bracelet counts
go have a fun new drink/snack - arguably most important, have a little treat without rush, slow down and focus on physical sensations, treat yourself in a way that isn't landfillcore
meet with friends and/or go to a place where you meet strangers - human connection is good for you, (maybe some casual sex if you like that/try something new with your partner)
make some bad art - create for the sake of creating without any expectations
play an instrument - this can be anything that makes you reach a kind of flow state
go see something you haven't yet - get to know the cultural/geographical map of your area, this includes events, places, or just anything that makes you go out of your way to expirience something new, can be like a viewpoint or it can be a museum exhibit, anything you find cool
cook/bake something new - nurish your body, break out of cooking habits and routine, make it an event, plate it nicely too and i would like to point out that none of these have to cost more money than your usual lifestyle.
Day 3 of @bingqiufashionweek -> yellow / daylight / tassels / hairpins
astounded and awed and devastated and obsessed with the way that, as tanrak walks to the metaphorical gallows, he's repeatedly shown with a halo
Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated
Thoughts, in approximate order:
You know, given how C. lupus, C. lupus familiaris, and C. latrans can all create perfectly viable hybrids, and that the proto-dogs that domestic dogs descended from much more resembled coyotes than wolves, it's not really a surprise that some yotes are experimenting with domestication.
Goddamn that lady must be fucking shredded to be able to chase down a coyote through a swamp.
"Don't let wild animals into your house, you are not going to make Dogs 2.0, you're going to get injured and the animal killed." is probably obvious enough advice that I don't need to put it in the tags as a reminder.
...I know more than four people on this site that have poisoned themselves trying out 'foraging guides' they found online, two people IRL who tried to keep raccoons at pets, and have a family member who got hospitalized for Cat Scratch Fever after grabbing a feral cat bare-handed. This is apparently, not obvious enough.
Do Not Attempt To Domesticate Coyotes
I love you asexual cool dragon flag
The bathroom door closing like a confessional booth as Tanrak finally gives into temptation. I love it here.
The pilot established Barth as the definitive outsider, but Episode 2 pushes past that to ask something far more uncomfortable: What are the community's obligations toward the person who disrupts their harmony?
The Father blaming Tanrak is a massive turning point because it forces Tanrak into the role of the shepherd. Suddenly, keeping Barth on the "straight and narrow" is his burden. On a literal level, it’s just strict discipline, but symbolically, the Church has recast Barth as the lost sheep and Tanrak as the one who must retrieve him. The genius of the writing is how it subverts Luke's parable. The parable is about searching for the lost, not controlling them. By drawing a line between the Father’s version of responsibility (correction) and the Gospel’s version (pursuit and care), the episode exposes a massive hypocritical gap.
Take Barth's reaction to his punishment: "I don't know what I did wrong."
This might be the most important line in the entire episode, because look at what he's actually rejecting. He isn't fighting the punishment just because it sucks. He's rejecting the premise behind it. Psychologically, Barth is looking for meaning, but the institution is just demanding compliance. Having to write lines only works if the kid agrees they actually did something wrong. Barth doesn't. So, the whole exercise becomes purely symbolic. The school wants a confession; Barth wants an explanation. Since nobody gives him one, we get the exact same result as Episode 1: he experiences the institution as demanding total submission without a shred of understanding.
The study buddy assignment looks simple on paper: the smart student helps the struggling student.
Symbolically, it's so much richer than that. Episode 1 forced Barth into Tanrak's uniform, but Episode 2 forces Tanrak into Barth's life. The movement goes both ways now. The institution keeps trying to solve its problems by making them share a space. Ironically, it works. Just not the way the institution intended. The school is looking for academic improvement, but the story wants intimacy. And suddenly, those two goals are starting to blur together.
Why does Barth cling to Tanrak?
One thing that stands out to me is how Barth attaches himself to Tanrak almost immediately. While we might interpret that as flirting, I think there's something deeper happening first. Tanrak is the first person who consistently returns, the first person who doesn't completely reject him, and the first person who shows up repeatedly. Remember the lost sheep imagery: a lost sheep isn't looking for doctrine, it's looking for the shepherd who came back. That's exactly what Barth keeps testing. Every tease, every interruption, every invitation to break the rules, and every attempt to drag Tanrak somewhere is a variation of the same question: "Will you leave too?" And every time Tanrak follows him, lets him, helps him, studies with him, or searches for him, Barth receives the same answer: "Not yet."
The scene involving the wall and the roti (the bread) feels incredibly symbolic.
Barth wants the bread, and Tanrak refuses. But then, he boosts Barth over the wall anyway. Look at the contradiction here: Tanrak won't break the rule, but he’s willing to help Barth break it. He’s caught right between obedience and desire, which is pretty much his entire character arc so far. The wall is a huge piece of symbolism, too. Walls separate worlds. Inside the seminary, you have duty; outside, you have freedom. Tanrak doesn't cross over, but Barth does. But here's the thing: Tanrak physically helps him do it. For the first time, Tanrak's body is participating in Barth's rebellion, even if his mind is still resisting it.
All those little details in the scene really strengthen the idea that there's both communion symbolism and desire symbolism happening at the same time. The big takeaway here is that symbols in a drama rarely mean just one thing. Good visual storytelling stacks meanings on top of each other. If Barth had simply bought the roti and eaten it alone, I'd lean much more heavily toward a "forbidden fruit" interpretation. But the fact that he offers it to Tanrak changes the entire dynamic.
Christian symbolism around bread isn't really about the bread just existing. It's about it being shared. Sharing a meal creates a real bond. When Barth offers Tanrak a bite, he's doing something that perfectly mirrors what he's been doing emotionally the whole episode. It’s his way of saying, "Come over to my side." Not necessarily in a romantic way yet, but definitely relationally. The institution just assigned them as study partners, but Barth is trying to turn that assignment into a genuine connection. The roti becomes this beautiful vehicle for intimacy.
So, why does the teasing expression matter so much?
Well, Barth's teasing face is important because he's not just sharing food here, he's testing Tanrak. Throughout Episode 2, Barth constantly pokes at him. He teases him, invades his space, climbs into his bed, challenges his rules, solves his puzzle, and drags him into small acts of rebellion. The roti scene is just another version of that. It’s almost like he’s saying, "Come on. Live a little." The food itself becomes an invitation. Not just to eat, but to genuinely participate.
What's fascinating is that Tanrak almost never initiates these boundary crossings. Barth does. Tanrak resists, but then eventually yields, and this pattern repeats constantly. That's why the roti scene matters so much structurally. The question isn't just whether Tanrak wants the roti. The question is whether he'll accept something offered by Barth. And he does. It’s a small choice, but it's symbolically significant.
When Tanrak starts noticing Barth's lips while they're sharing food, that’s where the scene starts layering symbols.
On one level, it's just two boys sharing a snack. On another, it’s an awakening attraction. And on another, it’s full-on communion. These meanings aren't mutually exclusive at all. In fact, they completely reinforce each other. Food and desire have been linked in literature for thousands of years. People don't just watch what someone eats; they watch how they eat. That's usually how attraction first gets visualized on screen, when the camera turns an ordinary act into something incredibly charged.
This is also where the nod to 1 Corinthians 13 gets really clever. Tanrak excels at religious knowledge; he gets a perfect 10/10 and is the definition of an ideal seminarian. But right after that, the episode begins teaching him something he could never learn in catechism¹ class. It's not about doctrine. It's about connection, affection, desire, and actually paying attention to another person. Notice how Tanrak spends the whole episode just looking at Barth. Really looking. He’s not evaluating him, supervising him, or trying to correct him. He's just looking. That is a totally different way of relating to someone. The episode isn't even really about desire yet. It's about recognition. Because desire always follows recognition. First you truly see someone, and then you realize you can't stop seeing them.
And that's why I think the scene isn't just a straight Adam and Eve reference. Forbidden-fruit symbolism is usually all about taking, but this scene centers on an act of giving. Barth shares, and Tanrak receives. That feels much closer to the symbolism of a shared meal than a theft. I suspect the scene deliberately straddles two different symbolic worlds. On one hand, you have Adam and Eve: boundary crossing, awakening desire, and the loss of innocence. On the other, you have Communion: shared food, relationship, mutual participation, and intimacy.
The genius of this scene is that it doesn't force us to choose. The roti can be both. It’s the forbidden sweetness that awakens Tanrak's desire, and it’s the shared bread that starts to build a bond between them. That's why it lingers in the story way longer than a random snack run ever should. The roti isn't just food. It's likely the first moment in the series where Tanrak accepts something from Barth. Not because he has to, but because he actually wants to. For a character whose whole life is built on obligation, that distinction is absolutely huge.
So, why does that "bathroom stall" scene matter so much symbolically?
Let's assume he's already crossed a line inside his own head. The most fascinating part isn't the act itself, it's the timing. This happens right after Tanrak spends the whole episode trying to maintain order, discipline, and absolute control. And then, his own body interrupts that mission. Religious stories usually paint temptation as some outside force, but this episode gives us something much subtler: Tanrak realizes the conflict is actually inside him. That is a massive shift. The threat isn't Barth anymore. The threat is how he reacts to Barth. The battlefield has moved inward.
Put yourself in his shoes: this is a boy who has lived his entire life trapped in his own head and anchored by rigid structures. That's why those flashing images on screen feel like such a gut punch:
The Holy Family vs. The Lost Parents: For Tanrak, the stakes couldn't be higher. His biological family is gone, and Heaven is the only place left where they exist. If he fails to be the "perfect believer," he isn't just risking Hell, he's losing his parents all over again.
The Last Judgment & The Ticket to Heaven Painting: Flashing Michelangelo's Last Judgment alongside the show's titular painting plays out like psychological horror. The Ticket to Heaven painting shows a soul scrambling for safety while surrounded by demons waiting to tear them apart. Suddenly, Tanrak looks at that fragile stairway and realizes he's the one standing on it. And the "demon" trying to drag him down into damnation isn't some monster, it's his own growing, uncontrollable desire for Barth.
When Tanrak walks with heavy feet and a troubled face, he's not walking toward pleasure. He's walking toward his own spiritual execution. Whatever happens behind that bathroom door is a desperate surrender to a human urge, one that he genuinely fears has cost him his eternity.
The puzzle of the believer, the lover, and the lost one may be the most interesting symbolic object in the episode.
Tanrak's brain teaser explicitly names three figures, and even before it’s solved, those labels feel deeply thematic because they map surprisingly well onto the story. Tanrak represents the believer: his entire identity is built around faith and obedience. Barth represents the lost one, which is exactly how everyone in his life treats him, a role practically assigned to him by the Luke scripture. That leaves the lover as the missing category, the unknown variable, and a role neither character fully understands yet. This is what makes the puzzle so fascinating: the story itself is becoming a puzzle about identity. Who is who? Can one person occupy more than one role? Can the believer also become the lover? Can the lost one become the one who guides? The puzzle is a miniature version of the entire narrative.
Barth solving the puzzle while peeing feels almost comically symbolic.
While Tanrak approaches truth through disciplined study, Barth approaches it through pure intuition. Where Tanrak sits surrounded by books, Barth solves the problem casually. This scene subtly undermines the assumption that institutional knowledge equals wisdom. Barth repeatedly fails the system's tests, yet he constantly demonstrates profound insight. Ultimately, the episode keeps suggesting that being highly educated and being truly wise are not identical.
This is where the deeper meaning of Luke 15 comes in.
The lost sheep parable gets way more interesting when you apply it to both boys. At first glance, the roles look simple: Barth is the lost sheep, and Tanrak is the shepherd. Except, the episode completely complicates that. Barth might be lost socially, but Tanrak is lost personally. Barth knows what he wants, Tanrak doesn't. Barth struggles with belonging, while Tanrak struggles with desire. Barth is wandering outside the community, but Tanrak is wandering inside himself. So, by the end of Episode 2, I'm not convinced there's only one lost sheep anymore. I think the show is quietly suggesting there are two.
Episode 2 asks: "When someone is lost, what does love require?"
The authorities answer with correction, while Barth answers with understanding. Meanwhile, the Gospel verse answers: "Go after them." And Tanrak is slowly discovering that following Barth may change him just as much as it changes Barth. That's why the passage from Luke is such a perfect framing device. At first, it sounds like it's about saving Barth. But by the end of the episode, it looks more like Barth might be the one leading Tanrak into the very part of himself he has spent his entire life avoiding.
After all, who is actually changing here? Not Barth. Barth enters the episode already intimately acquainted with several uncomfortable truths about himself:
He knows he's angry.
He knows he's lonely.
He knows he doesn't fit in.
He knows exactly what he wants.
The person having the existential crisis is increasingly Tanrak. By the end of the episode, Barth is casually eating bread and solving riddles, while Tanrak is lying awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering why his body has suddenly become a traitor. That's not the emotional state of a shepherd confidently leading a sheep home; that's the emotional state of someone who has just discovered he might be lost, too. And that's where the Luke verse becomes so much richer. In Christian theology, the parable isn't actually about the sheep's competence. The sheep doesn't rescue itself. The story focuses entirely on the one doing the searching. What happens when the shepherd starts following the sheep?
Officially, Barth is the one being guided. But narratively, Tanrak is the one being led. That's such an elegant inversion. And then there's the Corinthians verse, which I think is doing way more heavy lifting than it initially appears to:
"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love..."
Think about it, who in this episode speaks the language of religion most fluently? Tanrak. Who gets the perfect score? Tanrak. Who knows all the right answers? Tanrak. And yet, the verse quietly reminds us that none of that matters without love. That's a dangerous verse to drop into an episode about a seminarian developing feelings for someone. Because suddenly, the question isn't:
"Can Tanrak remain doctrinally correct?"
The real question becomes:
"Does Tanrak even understand what love actually is?"
I think the riddle might actually be my favorite detail, though.
The believer. The lover. The lost one. By the end of Episode 2, Tanrak is still the believer, and Barth is still the lost one. But Tanrak is also becoming the lover, and you could argue he's becoming lost, too. Meanwhile Barth, the guy everyone writes off as "lost," is the one who actually solves the riddle. Which is almost hilarious symbolically. The "lost" one is the one who sees the answer, and the "believer" is the one who can't stop staring at him.
Theological Context Note:
In Catholicism, the catechism covers the absolute essentials of the faith: the Creed, the Sacraments, the Moral Life, and Prayer. But passing a catechism test with a 10/10 (like Tanrak does) doesn't mean you're a saint; it just means you're good at memorizing doctrine.
That’s why the inclusion of the Corinthians verse in Episode 2 is brilliant. The Apostle Paul famously argues that knowing religious truth means nothing if you aren't living out religious love. Tanrak has the academic answers down perfectly, but the narrative asks if that's actually enough.
Meanwhile, Barth tanks the test with a 4/10, showing he’s either checked out or actively resisting the school's rigid structure. And yet, Barth is the only one wrestling with real, heavy spiritual dilemmas: exclusion, punishment, and what it actually means to belong. The show is beautifully illustrating that head-knowledge and heart-knowledge need each other. Dogma without empathy becomes cold and brittle, but raw emotion without a framework can lose its way. By forcing them together as study partners, Tanrak might be teaching Barth the textbook definitions of God, but Barth is teaching Tanrak the actual meaning of love.
Tanrak is currently the "resounding gong" (all correct sound, but no substance) and Barth is forcing him to find the substance.
Little details that had me screaming in ep 2:
Barth blocking the 'God sees you always' sign with his brawny shoulders as he approaches Tanrak playing the piano.
Tanrak only touching Barth with his pen as they talk about lust and desire.
The 'favourite chords/notes' discussion. Because of course Tanrak chooses simple, uncomplicated, non-threatening C major, and Barth immediately clocks that as bullshit (though I didn't catch the chord he picked for him instead because they are playing score over this important conversation WHY?). Then Barth chooses D-sharp/E-flat and I...listen. I love that boy.
The fact that Tanrak won't break the rules himself but he will help and protect Barth when he breaks them.
Barth catching Tanrak staring and then deciding to give him more to look at by peeing right next to him while Tanrak tries DESPERATELY not to look.
I'm sure there are more but that's what comes to mind immediately.
GOD SEES YOU ALWAYS
10 minute sequence about deciding to jerk off somehow named film of the year
This has to be one of the most amazing sequences I have ever seen
Going from this
To all this images that haunt him during his procession
The stall. A dirty place but also bathed in warm light. The shame and resignation in his posture
And finally. The closed door. But us, like all the images that haunt him, know exactly what is happening
like it was so good i almost threw up
fuck ticket to heaven episode 2 is exactly what I've been hoping for for these past 2 years and it hurts!!!!!!!!
everyone I lost my phone and unfortunately the list of danmei I want to read was only in my notes app....... can you give me recs so I can rebuild my list??
A Dog and a Plane in Textposts
Episode 2
