zerg

personal thoughts and uninteresting ideas

[playernotfound]

so my best friend is offering my gf and i a place to stay at his house, since his dad and brother are moving out he needs people for rent and such. it already sounds awesome, since i would be closer to my home and able to practice driving and life comfortably with my cats and gf- also get access to all the pot i could want and would work from their house...it sounds too good to be true and i’m so scared of screwing it up or ruining this opportunity or something. i’m just afraid that i don’t really deserve to have that happiness and i should be suffering or something, since I feel like i have been in some way, my entire life. and that this perfect door has opened and i’m just too pathetic to actually have that be true...idk, i just feel like i’m not worthy and should just always be tormented by my family and society. wow this sounds dumb but wtv..

[playernotfound]

we finally got a desk and can draw properly but its still annoying when we gotta share the same laptop because mine is a pathetic excuse for a piece of technology. otherwise, i’ve been having a lot of cool ideas to draw but i keep getting frustrated with myself.

hopefully i can pull myself out of this slump, and be productive.

[playernotfound]

this sucks, my gf is trying to set up her old laptop for me using an old monitor screen since the laptop screen is broken and right when i sit down to try it out, it blue screens... still stuck with shitty macbook i guess. 

I feel so bad because she was trying so hard to make a cool setup for me and she downloaded a bunch of stuff and it decides to fucking die when i try to use it.

[playernotfound]

I keep seeing cool art and I just feel like a trashbag because it just makes me sad that I can’t do that- as in my skills suck and I literally can’t afford to have a good art workspace. 

[playernotfound]

can I not have a family of dickwads? that would be great.

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i’m surprised my shitty ass macbook (won’t even call this crapbox a laptop) hasn’t imploded yet. i open more than 2 tabs and it sounds like a rocket trying to take off.

[playernotfound]

real tired of not having a dependable dealer around here, my anxiety has been pretty bad lately and i make myself feel worse because I haven’t been productive at all- i just want some weed.

[playernotfound]

I feel like I really need to start posting art for my main blog but I don’t even have a desk or a set up besides hunching over a chair onto a coffee table. it hurts my back so much...I just want a desk.