True Dreamer @playingitgoodandright - Tumblr Blog

Tumblr Diary Entry

August 2, 2019.

I'm a day train ride away from home. Away from my love for the first time in our four year relationship. It's so...new. What am I doing so far from home though? I'm visiting my best friend who lives here with her husband and their little daughter. We haven't seen each other in quite some time. Years even. Two months ago when I was still in China I bought the tickets, because the moment felt right. It was one of those now or never moments.

When she met me at the train station as I arrived I felt so happy to see her face. Her daughter started singing to me and I felt amazing singing along.

The most important thing this post wants to tell you is sometimes it is hard to do what makes you happy, it takes time but once it's done you feel no regrets.

#true dreamer #dreams coming true #dear tumblr #tumblr diary entry #diary entry #dear diary #singer songwriter

I live every single time I get to sing my songs to you.

#true dreamer #singer at heart #songwriter #lyrics #singing #writing #dear diary #lyricist #my own lyrics #sharing

Monday Mood

Going ahead. Typing a post.

I woke up on time to eat breakfast and not rush to classes. I feel so much better when my morning is a slow paced world I get out of bed into. One thing making me sad is the weather. It is changing EVERY day. Saturday it was pouring rain. My head was in such ache. Sunday turned into 30°C heat. All. Of. A. Sudden. Today it is raining again and the worse is that I feel every little change. Why is that?

I remember being a kid and knowing such things are the things my grandma experiences and just one classmate out of many. Now, in my twenties, I feel the same. Perhaps it is a signal I have to pay more attention to my health.

About that, we bought our first fridge two days ago. I'm storing all kinds of fruit and vegetables there. Finally I can stop fearing Chinese food is all I have to consume.

As to my songs, I keep on writing and keep taking vocal lessons now online. If any chance, I'll post some videos here, but mostly I post on my Instagram @lanamber_sings

You're welcome any time.

#made with tumblr #gif

Beat of the drum, the distorted sound Overlaps with the underground Like an old school, the Blue wall room

a line from a song called Blue Wall Room (March, 2018)

#lyrics #lanamber #blue wall room #original song #svp

Beat of the drum, the distorted sound Overlaps with the underground Like an old school, the Blue wall room

a line from a song called Blue Wall Room (March, 2018)

#lyrics #lanamber #blue wall room #original #2018 #songwriting

Quarter life crisis, huh?

The 5th of August, 2018 We all grow up eventually, but do we mature? Back when I was sixteen, I had this phase where I would read every possible kind of horoscope about my life (astrology, numerology, etc.). They all said things that seemed to be interesting, but at the same time contradictory. Some said I was romantic and dreamy, others said I was a blatant businesswoman who needed to work solo. How can that be in one person? However, some suggestions were indeed coincidentally balanced. It appears that I as a human being have got all I will ever need within myself. How funny can a life be if you're like this? Anyway, what I am leading up to is I may have programmed myself to turn into the person I read about. I may have done it accidentally, having no intentions whatsoever. I may have absorbed more than I could perceive and as of today I ended up knowing little about what I really want my life to be like. Not that I am saying do not go down that horoscope rabbit hole, nor that I am blaming esoteric knowledge to be false. I am just at the stage of my life where I want to learn and decide and plan regardless other notions, suggestions, opinions and stereotypes. I just feel like it is not easy to balance reality with its pay for everything but pretend life is free kind of existence with the world that I want to live in. I think too much about every single thing but my own, and I guess I have finally reached the point where I should start noticing myself more, my wishes and desires clean of the society's ideas of what is right or wrong. I have to begin again.

#begin again #life is what it is #grow up girl #quarter life crisis #what do you know #don't blame me