I BASICALLY CAME OUT TO MY CLASSMATES TODAY.
I talked about gender identity today in my science class, constantly dropping hints about my being transgender. When my teacher praised me for such an amazing talk she asked how much time I spent on studying the topic, and I simply answered: ‘Well, to be honest, I was talking from my own experience, because, you know... it’s... it’s becuase I also feel that way [ie. transgeder]’.
It was so spontaneous, but it felt so right to say that out loud, even more so when some girls from the class called me over and one of them said:
‘You know, when you were talking I just... looked at you and suddenly realised you really are, like, like all those people you told us about, and... now it all makes sense, I don’t know why I didn’t notice that earlier. And you are so, so brave to tell us that, you must’ve been really scared, right?’
I was scared, of course, but the more I talked, the easier it got. I simply answered that after being in the closet for such a long time, I literally had to talk about what I feel to a wider audience, becuase I needed to be heard no matter what the response. It was, like, three people whose response I was actually afraid of - one of them being a guy who seems to like ‘like’ me, who I didn’t want to hurt in any way... and he didn’t say a word. I have to admit I hoped he’d say something, anything. He’s a really nice friend and now I feel like he may be disgusted with me (I’m not into him, but still, it’s painful).
However, I need to be myself, I don’t want to pretend anymore.
I didn’t think I’d receive support from someone I barely talk to and I’m really thankful for that. I always knew that the acceptance would make me feel better, but now that I’ve experienced it myself, I honestly can say that’s the most amazing thing in the world.
