Plunder Press

the official tumblr of author Jonathan Reeves

[liddie-dissociating]

Okay we are trying this again this time with clearer instructions and options.

Please read all instructions before voting.

If you are using the desktop site, mobile site in the browser, or an updated version of the app, please vote with the number of REBLOGS ONLY (not total notes) you see at the bottom of the post.

If you are using an un-updated version of the app, please vote "un-updated app." If you don't know what version of Tumblr you're using, please vote "I'm not sure what version of tumblr I'm using."

If you vote, please reblog. The purpose of this is to examine the new reblog behavior on Tumblr.

Please DO NOT add text to the body of your reblog.

The post you're seeing should have the word "Apple," "Banana," or "Coconut" as the first tag under the post. This is to track how the reblog behavior works with tags as opposed to reblogs with text. If you reblog, please tag and make "Apple" "Banana" or "Coconut" your first tag based on the first tag of the post you are reblogging from.

Again, the instructions are:

Vote with the number of reblogs ONLY (not total notes) you see on the updated app or desktop site. If your app hasn't updated or you're not sure what version of Tumblr you're using, make that your vote

Reblog this post without adding text to the body of your reblog

Tag your reblog "Apple" "Banana" or "Coconut" depending on which of the tags the post you are reblogging from is tagged with. Please make this your first tag.

How many reblogs do you see at the bottom of this post?

1-5

6-10

11-20

21-35

36-50

51-100

I'm using an un-updated version of the app

I'm not sure what version of Tumblr I'm using

Voting ended onMar 18

Please reblog and tag with the same first tag as the post you're reblogging. This should be "apple" "banana" or "coconut."

You can add other tags, but please don't add text to the body of your reblog. If you want, you can tag with the reblog count that you saw when you voted.

You can reply, but please do not reblog with text in the body of the reblog.

Thank you for participating in this experiment!

[carrionbeast]

Help My Sweet Idiot

Donate to Help Sweet Idiot Pazuzu!, organized by Haley Millman

The moment as I met her, I knew she was going to cost me a lot of money. My sweet, darling … Haley Millman needs your support for Help S

The moment I met her, I knew she was going to cost me a lot of money.

So, my sweet, beautiful dumbass kitty got unauthorized access to a forbidden toy and I have to pay the vet like $3000. AFTER insurance.

Last night during the approximately 15 minutes that she wasn’t supervised, she got a hold of her toy that is a stick with a string attached in a toy at the end. Normally this toy is locked in the closet, but I had gotten distracted and didn’t put it away properly.

We rushed off to the emergency vet as soon as I saw what happened. (I saw the stick, and I saw the toy and realized there was no string in between) Inducing vomiting failed, so the vet is going to be performing an endoscopy to remove the string.

I do have pet insurance, but it will not cover taxes or exam fee fees or medication. this is going to come out to around $3100. I have a job but my contract is ending in six months and I only get paid about $30,000 a year, so this is not going to be easy. If you can help me, I would really appreciate it.

Helping me helps Pazuzu! And who could disagree with that?

This is the face of a girl who did it on purpose to punish me for not paying 100% of my attention to her at all times. I have learned my lesson.

[carrionbeast]

She’s coming home!! I’m at the vet waiting for her to be discharged. They removed all the string via endoscopy, no surgery needed and she’s doing well!

She will not be getting another Da Bird stick.

[carrionbeast]

She’s home and doing well! Outside of the indignity of a shaved arm. Please consider helping if you can! Or sharing if you can’t.

[desinteresse]

It’s funny when American authors come up with a new European nation so their main character can be a secret royal without the pain of researching a real nation. We should all start doing that with North America, just make up a new state. My protagonist lives in New Utahioshington which is the 51st state and located between Delaware and Maryland

[plunderpress]

Wait. Do other writers... not do this?

[asparklethatisblue]

For a brief moment in time humans weren't alone on this planet. I do wonder if our ancestors took note when Neanderthals disappeared, or if they ever wondered where these people went

[toskarin]

finally shored up a blind spot that I simply did not consider until this point (learning that kryptonite is apparently not what superman's entire planet was made out of, which I rationalised by assuming they were probably all like normal guys all the time over there and didn't know they were super)

[toskarin]

[plunderpress]

A lot of people make the mistake that kryptonite exists because of some scientific reaction, that it possesses this unquantifiable radiation that somehow only affects the last living kryptonians. To the untrained eye, this is accurate enough: place a chunk of kryptonite in front of Superman and he doubles over in pain, loses his abilities, weakens near the point of death.

But this is not a scientific reaction. This is Superman's lesser known weakness, magic. Necromancy, if you want to get specific.

When Krypton died, it died. Billions of souls extinguished, a culture erased, thousands of years of history gone. It did not go quietly, and as any reasonable practicioner of necromancy can tell you, a sudden and violent death will linger. Spirits cling to the physical world through any means they can, tethered to the place and the cause of their death.

In short? Kryptonite's haunted.

What the Man of Steel feels is not radiation, it is the anguished screams of a people he never knew. It is the cry for a justice he can never fulfil. It is the unbearable weight of those who could not be saved, clawing at his soul. They reject his strange powers and the strange light of the yellow sun, which makes a mockery of Rao's crimson magnificence. They hate his denial of Krypton's cold rationality, his subservience to the primitive. He feels their pain, the pain of an entire civilisation coursing through his entire being.

Naturally, the reason that all of this can be blocked by lead is because lead has a symbolic role of protection and purification in kryptonian magic. A lead box is basically the same as a salt circle, at least as far as kryptonian ghosts are concerned. (Do not ask about kryptonian demons, you're not ready for that conversation yet.)

[arahir]

i just can't convey the frustration and sorrow that it's been to grow up at first without the internet and then watching it bloom into this useful, fun, connecting force you sometimes spent time on, only for it to degrade into this constant oppressive waste of time and energy where people are constantly pumping out algorithmically designed content for max algorithmic appeal and even the most simple search generates either no results or an infinite abyss of ai generated slop none of which is usable or correct. we briefly had a library of alexandria and then fed it into a paper shredder so advertisers could sell a random mash of pulp back to us at a premium.

[whomst-the-hell]

also fourth wall breaking superhero but its treated as cosmic horror and they immediately lose grip on reality because they know its all fictional and go off the rails

[plunderpress]

So a bit like Grant Morrison's Animal Man, but if Buddy just woke up one morning knowing everything? Absolutely terrifying, I love it.

[hapalopus]

It's impressive how Neil Gaiman vanished from the internet. Wish Rowling would do the same.

[breelandwalker]

Also impressive how quickly and thoroughly people who previously loved his work have disowned it, stopped buying it, and stopped discussing it.

Wish Rowling's fans would do the same.

[hapalopus]

^^^

[indigosfindings]

and yknow we all already rag on "four balls on the edge of a cliff" a lot but it really is completely insane like on the most fundamental level like why would you choose Four Balls On The Edge Of A Cliff as your go-to, how do you even end up at something that abstract. like if youre trying to explain a fantasy premise through an analogy youd expect the analogy to be to a situation the listener can be assumed to recognize rather than like "envision a handful of platonic solids in proximity to one another." ok i will explain how teleportation works first i would like you to imagine a featureless tetrahedron in a vacuum

[plunderpress]

The answer is "smoking a lot of weed beforehand".

[plunderpress]

This isn't a stupid joke, this is genuinely the explanation.

To clarify: hello! I worked on Zybourne Clock, for a given value of "work" and for a given value of "Zybourne Clock", and all I have to show for it is mild PTSD and a single podcast interview.

Now, I did not find this out until a long time after the project collapsed, but Rex Meteorite (the brains behind the operation, so to speak) was pretty frequently smoking weed. I'm not going to say constantly, but perhaps significantly.

Which does explain his management style to show up unexpectedly, tell everyone about the amazing new ideas he'd come up with that would change the entire direction of the game, and then vanish back into the ether for another few days.

Believe me when I say that the four balls speech is probably one of the more lucid things Rex came up with.

[indigosfindings]

and yknow we all already rag on "four balls on the edge of a cliff" a lot but it really is completely insane like on the most fundamental level like why would you choose Four Balls On The Edge Of A Cliff as your go-to, how do you even end up at something that abstract. like if youre trying to explain a fantasy premise through an analogy youd expect the analogy to be to a situation the listener can be assumed to recognize rather than like "envision a handful of platonic solids in proximity to one another." ok i will explain how teleportation works first i would like you to imagine a featureless tetrahedron in a vacuum

[plunderpress]

The answer is "smoking a lot of weed beforehand".

[aladygrieve]

okay but how did the new lilo and stitch manage to make Hawaii of all places look ugly

[life-in-toontown]

Because live-action Disney hates colors and good lighting and everything nice to look at

[plunderpress]

The bleak misery is what makes it so Authentically Realistic™, which is better than "fun" or "entertaining" because

[probablybadrpgideas]

Cursed RPG sourcebook, if you use any of its lore or rules you get hexed.

[plunderpress]

This is just Dungeons & Dragons.

[pencildragons]

the singular unfortunate effect of getting really into discworld at a young age is that i formed a Certain Impression about the purpose of footnotes, and now i am entering academia and it is still my true and firm belief that the footnotes are for being funny in and NOTHING else

[prokopetz]

I swear there's a recurring fantasy RPG analogue to the "supervillain has a legitimate grievance but we have to stop them because Their Methods Are Too Extreme" bit that's like:

King: You have to put down the peasant rebellion.

Player: Why?

King: Its leader is in league with demons.

Player: Okay, but that's just one guy – why is everybody else on board with it?

King: Also demons.

Player: But—

King: Demons.

[persistentrevelry]

Anastasia (1997)

[eattheball]

thank you firefox, these are definitely my usernames.

[subjectsix]

I don't know I'm not done talking about it. It's insane that I can't just uninstall Edge or Copilot. That websites require my phone number to sign up. That people share their contacts to find their friends on social media.

I wouldn't use an adblocker if ads were just banners on the side funding a website I enjoy using and want to support. Ads pop up invasively and fill my whole screen, I misclick and get warped away to another page just for trying to read an article or get a recipe.

Every app shouldn't be like every other app. Instagram didn't need reels and a shop. TikTok doesn't need a store. Instagram doesn't need to be connected to Facebook. I don't want my apps to do everything, I want a hub for a specific thing, and I'll go to that place accordingly.

I love discord, but so much information gets lost to it. I don't want to join to view things. I want to lurk on forums. I want to be a user who can log in and join a conversation by replying to a thread, even if that conversation was two days ago. I know discord has threads, it's not the same. I don't want to have to verify my account with a phone number. I understand safety and digital concerns, but I'm concerned about information like that with leaks everywhere, even with password managers.

I shouldn't have to pay subscriptions to use services and get locked out of old versions. My old disk copy of photoshop should work. I should want to upgrade eventually because I like photoshop and supporting the business. Adobe is a whole other can of worms here.

Streaming is so splintered across everything. Shows release so fast. Things don't get physical releases. I can't stream a movie I own digitally to friends because the share-screen blocks it, even though I own two digital copies, even though I own a physical copy.

I have an iPod, and I had to install a third party OS to easily put my music on it without having to tangle with iTunes. Spotify bricked hardware I purchased because they were unwillingly to upkeep it. They don't pay their artists. iTunes isn't even iTunes anymore and Apple struggles to upkeep it.

My TV shows me ads on the home screen. My dad lost access to eBook he purchased because they were digital and got revoked by the company distributing them. Hitman 1-3 only runs online most of the time. Flash died and is staying alive because people love it and made efforts to keep it up.

I have to click "not now" and can't click "no". I don't just get emails, they want to text me to purchase things online too. My windows start search bar searches online, not just my computer. Everything is blindly called an app now. Everything wants me to upload to the cloud. These are good tools! But why am I forced to use them! Why am I not allowed to own or control them?

No more!!!!! I love my iPod with so much storage and FLAC files. I love having all my fics on my harddrive. I love having USBs and backups. I love running scripts to gut suck stuff out of my Windows computer I don't want that spies on me. I love having forums. I love sending letters. I love neocities and webpages and webrings. I will not be scanning QR codes. Please hand me a physical menu. If I didn't need a smartphone for work I'd get a "dumb" phone so fast. I want things to have buttons. I want to use a mouse. I want replaceable batteries. I want the right to repair. I grew up online and I won't forget how it was!

[subjectsix]

glad this post is resonating with the local populace fr

[whalleyrulz]

there's no problem in the world so dire that one handful of pistachios can't make slightly better

[bestmaddie-blog]

Pistachio allergy.

[whalleyrulz]

living with a pistachio allergy can be quickly changed (and slightly improved imo) with a handful of pistachios