classics + literature

jean // 17 // american+british // hopefully these posts will help you learn something, but there's a high likelihood that they just amuse me

[leesh]

this is terrifying

[thoughts-of-an-x-factor]

Here’s what’s happening in Australia at the moment.

For some context:  Mallacoota is a tourist town, usual population is a little over 1000, but at peak tourist times, it can be as high as 8000. There was an estimated 4000 there today, when the extreme heat, peaking at 49C/120F, combined with high winds, to spark a large, intense fire in the bushland around the area. This pretty much blocked off all ways out of the town, leading to all 4000 people being evacuated to the beach, with the emergency plan basically being “If the fire comes this way, get in the water” Thankfully, the wind did change direction, and as far as I’ve heard, most of the town was spared, but this is how bad the drought, heat, and fire situations have become in australia. And our government still refuses to make solid policies on climate change.

[awomanindeniall]

NSW Bush Fires - How you can help

[toapoet-deactivated20221001]

If you’re not in a place to give money, you can boost!!

[plutoxplato]

All I Want

is to go to my partner’s house and meet the parents and overhear their mom turn to my partner when she thinks I’m out of earshot and say “I like this one” is that too hard

[kathernandez-deactivated2019122]

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (2009) dir. Quentin Tarantino

[xshayarsha]

Life heals you if you allow it to flow, if you do not allow it to trap you.

Anais Nïn, from The Diaries of Anais Nïn, Vol. 7: 1966-1974. (via xshayarsha)

[plutoxplato]

dog food commercials

option one: your dog??? HUNTER. SAVAGE. he want MEAT and nothing less. he needs to hunt AND KILL. dog want blood we feed him raw animals buy our food!!

option two: only get the daintiest, most beautiful food for your perfect prince!! UwU he needs the best and nothing less. :) <3

[inactive-acc-hhh]

I’ve had this idea for such a long time oh my lord—

[horriblesupper]

a continuation of my final university project where i make frankenstein even more explicitly gay than it already is by rearranging some sentences and adding a few words here and there

[gayleontologists]

do you ever think about how victor would interrupt his narration to walton to just wax poetic about henry for like paragraphs and then just be like “whoops  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   anyways”

[horriblesupper]

a continuation of my final university project where i make frankenstein even more explicitly gay than it already is by rearranging some sentences and adding a few words here and there

[disgruntledturtle]

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

[equalistmako]

“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”

[seasonoftowers]

Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

[people-are-garbage]

well you did ask

[defilerwyrm]

Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

[mrtacomam]

you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

[kariachi]

Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.

[pulltheotheroneithasbellson]

plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.

[blueandbluer]

Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.

[spicymemesanddepression]

Literally any marginalized person: We’d like to have some rights please.

Cishet white men:

[porta-alchemica]

Reading Measure for Measure for my dissertation and I’m more and more convinced that sympathetic portrayals of the Duke are nonsense and that Isabella’s tragedy is that she believes that the law in  Vienna is in any way related to morality.

[becca-on-adventures]

Measure for Measure, Shakespeare

[queenfruffalumps]

Isabella when Angelo offers to set Claudio free if she sleeps with him

[glittering-snowfall]

The best part of my day thus far:

In my Shakespeare class, we have to perform scenes from different plays in groups. Well, today, a group performed the scene from Measure for Measure where Angelo tries to force Isabella to have sex with him and uses his political clout to mask his repulsiveness… and the gentleman playing Angelo took every opportunity to make jabs at Donald Trump, including:

 – scrawling “Make Vienna great again!” on the whiteboard

– breaking the fourth wall, staring at the audience, and saying, “What a nasty woman!” regarding Isabella

– and generally acting like a giant slug    

[yeehawbisexual]

soo…. y’all just learned nothing

[plutoxplato]

submitting an assignment:

me: Dear Esteemed Professor, I humbly present to you my work. If you see ANY errors of ANY kind feel free to pour soup on me. I apologise in advance. 

teacher:  thank you. it is good. - sent from iPhone

me: oh my god. it’s the worst thing you’ve ever read i’m so sorry i was so foolish i’m going to throw myself into a sea of fire