yesterday i took the bart home. the sky looked so nice over there. but on the other side of me, to the left during the whole 54 minute ride there was a woman arguing with someone and crying. and i was just there listening to all of Blonde lmao. It was very sad but very ironic. i have not touched that album is years , especially on a full run through. I forgot how self control made me feel when i was 17, or i forgot how Ivy felt. I think as you get older and enjoyed the things you did back then you seem to appreciate them more especially when its meant for you at a time in your life. sometimes words in songs would mention being a specific age and i'd be 17 or 16 enjoying not understanding but hoping to one day be like "yeah we will never be those kids again , you're so right frank ocean" because when i heard that, its true. we wont, i wont. it's all different now.
i wish i got endless back, it meant a lot to me. 2 people had it. now 1 does , and it's adrienne. I love you adrienne, i miss you. i know you're not here, but i hope you come back. it hurts seeing you like that. blonde also reminds me of you and so does endless. reminds me of 2017-2018 where we'd go ride bikes listening to it. i hope you get better , i hope there's a way to get you back. i'm tired of everyone acting gullible but i get it. it just sucks im the real one and have to be the strong one.
in my eyes you're a loser.
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