Emotions and Other Crap

This is my aesthetic blog of things I find pleasing. I'll also use it for any poetry I write. I hope other people can appreciate this blog, but its main purpose is for myself.<3 Please have a wonderful day. <3

[poemsofmyfailure]

Chasing after you

Begging for your attention

For your presence in my life.

... would be abandoning me.

I am done chasing after those who don't wish to hold on to me

For my helldivers. And one day, for my sunshine...

Sunday, July 5, 2026_10:07pm

[poemsofmyfailure]

I keep seeing your face everywhere

In everyone.

I look for you

And I find you.

...

Will you come look for me?

For my sunshine

-I never haven't in a long time, had this much of a draw to someone. Was it real love or just an obsession? Do I need you to come back and break my heart completely before I can move on? I tried to replace you, forget about you for a while. But here we are, nearly a year later, and you're still on my mind.

I crave what we had. I want it again. But did I fall in love with you, or just the life I thought I was going to have with you?

Tuesday, June 30, 2026_11:35pm

[poemsofmyfailure]

I decided to take a step back and put my faith in the universe

Now I keep seeing signs

And I feel hope.

Even while bad things are happening to me,

I know I can handle it.

Because Ive handled it all before.

This experience is new in only who is involved.

But the funny thing about asking the universe for a sign, is that you start to see them everywhere.

And so now am I fooling myself,

Or is this proof I am on the right path?

11:11. The cover song of The Middle. The van life. Being with friends who love me.

Does it merely mean that I'm on the right path, and my career change and new goals are tangible. Or does it mean youre coming back like i want you to?

For my sunshine

Tuesday, June 30th, 2026_11:20pm

[poemsofmyfailure]

I've been thinking of you often

As the days change, and i remember what we were doing this time last year

As i make new memories

With new people

And slowly override your memories

WIP fix the wording. Just writing it down.

Tuesday June 30th 2026_5:12pm

[poemsofmyfailure]

The universe has blessed me with two dead beetles today. I see you looking out for me 👀

[poemsofmyfailure]

Do you remember the end of the Rings where the fellowship has to part and go their separate ways and the owls take Frodo off Sam and Mary Pippin go back to the Shire aragorns off being the king of something Etc I always felt so heart broken at the end we had gone this epic training with these characters saying men tried to each other bonded they're just supposed to go back to their lives and I feel like the hobbits back to the Shire back home to the normal the safe everything they were used to always wondering wanting more having a taste of something more. And that's what our breakup felt like for me I had this whole other Adventure and I had to return to the Shire

[kosmogrl]

[criersalwayscrying]

my angels will have my back🔒💖

[poemsofmyfailure]

4th time this month

[poemsofmyfailure]

"Summer afternoon – summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language."

-Henry James

[poemsofmyfailure]

I thought I was going to make it through this year without a breakup...

For you both. The boys.

June 22, 2026_6:51pm

[poemsofmyfailure]

I thought I was going to make it through this year without a breakup...

For you both. The boys.

June 22, 2026_6:51pm

[poemsofmyfailure]

I hate the phrase of "you dont know what youve got til its gone".

I DID know what I had.

But it didnt hurt until it was gone...

For you both.

Sunday, June 22, 2026_6:43pm

[poemsofmyfailure]

Just because you want something

Doesn't mean its good for you to have

Stop being so spoiled.

--

You are my foil

Reflecting to me

What I need to not do

---

Fuck.

Why does loving people hurt so badly.

I'm losing my friends. People who've gotten me through such a tough time.

Sunday June 21 2026_5:22pm

[poemsofmyfailure]

I love how you have your pens in mugs on your desk

I love how you are always prepared for anything

I love how you make my life easier and anticipate my needs

I love how you write poetry when you're sad

I love your eyes crunch when you smile, and how one gets smaller than the other

I love how you take care of me, keep me hydrated and fed and strong

I love your passion, your frustrations at injustice, your emotions, your excitement.

I love your creativity and your energy

I love how you look at the world

I love how you feel so deeply

And how you love so quickly.

I love that you look for things to love

In people who may not deserve it

Never change who you are

Never lose yourself in the pursuit for someone else's life.

You are capable of achieving great things.

You are enough.

For me.

Sunday, june 21, 2026_2:00pm

[poemsofmyfailure]

Placeholder.

You were there when I needed you.

The universe sent you to me,

So we- So I,

could survive.

I made it out. My wings are healed and my legs are strong and I am ready to fly.

But the nest has become comfortable. A place I can rest

A place where nothing is expected of me

Where I can be myself

Where there is always someone

There for company.

Another presence

In the room.

I wanted you to fly with me. I realized.

Too late I looked down

And saw my talons gripping the ribbon that ties me to you.

I want to leave. To fly.

But you wont go first.

You haven't pulled me from the nest.

You merely gave me a space to recover.

Now the home feels cramped, suffocating. Small.

My chest is tight.

I bend my neck down to cut the ribbon with my beak. Hesitant.

*snip*

I wonder if I need you, at all anymore

Or if its time

For us to part.

I stand on the edge of the nest and stretch my cramped wings and flex the muscles in my legs.

We were there for one another,

For a season.

And you were there as a needed support, a crutch while my wings healed

I bend my legs and raise my wings

With a heave of muscles I am in flight, wings beating against the sky.

You were a placeholder

And nothing

More.

June, 21, 2026_12:12pm

For Ryan Gosling.

[poemsofmyfailure]

I want someone who knows me

Who can look at me when my brain is spinning

And comes to pull me out of it.

Someone who sees my silence, and puts a hand on my knee to soothe me.

Someone who knows me

Why do the little things you do

Make me yearn for you so much

When the larger expressions of your character

Scream the opposite to me.

You dont like me in that way.

I am special but cannot be in your arms.

I am special. And you know me. And I crave your touch

And yet,

when I am quiet and my brain is spinning

You dont reach for me.

I sit and I spin and I cry

And you watch from across the room

With your hand on another woman's thigh.

For Ryan Gosling

Sunday, June 21, 2026_9:11pm

I saw 11:11 in my dreams, related to you. Who is it for? Me, or them.