i don't know how to express my feelings

so i write instead. paper has always been easier than people.

[poet-not-a-prophet]

therapon (philtatos)

I cannot guess at the simple joy you derive from juggling the figs in the bowl on the table

Yet I catch the fig you throw me with a grin

I also catch your eye, and from that moment on I want nothing more than to see the world through the tint of the green glint in your gaze

You claim me before the king of Phthia as therapon: companion

it is the most sacred title I will ever receive in this life

~

I cannot help but press my lips to your on the beach, stirred by curiosity and by admiration and something else that scares me

What scares me more is the way your pink heels flash at me as you take off down the beach

In the same way, the sun flashes against the sea, and its heat rivals that of my cheeks

I still cannot help myself and take off after you, towards Pelion

When you reclaim my lips, my hands, and more, in the rose-colored cave, my heart races as strongly as it did when I ran to join you

Any doubts I have are silenced and steadied by the thrum of our hearts in tandem

~

When I followed you even further beyond, into a decade of love and war, I never imagined I would lose my life before you lost yours

Never would you be wracked with gief so strongly

Never would you hold me as tightly in death as you did in life

Never would you need to claim me before the old king of Troy as philtatos: most beloved

The sweetness of this word and this scene is overwhelmed by the bitterness of your tone and your pain

~

I would die again, for you, to be able to speak to you the same word and the same love

I daresay my pain rivals yours when we are buried together, yet only you are given leave to go beneath the earth

The only company I have is my torment until your mother's joins mine

It is in her that I am able to be rejoined with you

It is in your arms and in your love and in your presence that I now can spend my eternity

therapon, philtatos, Achilles.

[poet-not-a-prophet]

to be loved should not feel so otherworldly

if we claim it is the most human thing of all

the feeling that wells in my chest is heavy when I am called the lightest of names- dear, honey, love

it is not heavy because it hurts, but because it is profound

to be seen as dear to another

to be thought of as sweet as honey, as effervescent and powerful as love itself

it almost feels burdensome to uphold such sacred titles

however, it is also my greatest honor

to know that I can both give and receive this same power of love is truly stunning

its power strikes me like lightning- brief, intangible, yet burned into my body and soul as a permanent memory

once it occurs its effects can be removed, yet you can never truly un-love another

the electricity, the shock of it, is somehow grounding

yet this love makes me feel as though I am soaring through the heavens

-extraterrestrial

[poet-not-a-prophet]

when i look into the mirror on my wall, my twin on the other side stares me down

she sees things about me and i see things about her

acne erupts like volcanoes across her face, cellulite craters dot her thighs, any move she makes sends waves and ripples across her stomach, her love handles tremble with tremors of an internal earthquake

her teeth chatter from the cold judgement of society, and her arms wrap around herself even though she knows the lack of muscle cannot protect her

her crooked nose has never been broken, but i can tell she has been broken before

her skin does not bear the scars on her brain, in her mind, in her soul

for the first time, i see her and she sees me as a separate entity

we are at once disjointed and united

in the fraction of a second that she is not me, i want desperately to reach out and tell her whatever she may think of herself is not true

she is, truly, beautiful

her dimples are valleys, her hair cascades and shines like a waterfall, her eyes twinkle with starlight, her hands hold a world of potential, her legs and feet carry a goddess, her shoulders are strong as boulders, they must be strong to carry the weight of the world and all its majesty

the shadows her imperfections cast disappear when the radiance of her love, her kindness, and her spirit are allowed to shine through

a drop in an ocean, a pebble on a mountain, all of these things she could hate are miniscule in comparison to her true value in this world

all of the things she loathes are worth loving

but i cannot tell her this, because she is no longer she, she is me

and i vow to instead tell myself

-looking (through the) glass

[poet-not-a-prophet]

My heart swells

An opportunity arises

A thousand feelings blend into one: hope

I am a lone sailor on the sea of my soul, and the dawn has just begun to break

The horizon lightens ever so slightly

I know I will need to shield my eyes soon

The morning sun will blind me if I am not prepared for it

But the waters are calm

So I rest

And I bask in the tender rays of light as they sweep across the ocean, the boat, the sails, and me

This is all I have ever needed

-pride is not the word I'm looking for

[poet-not-a-prophet]

So close, yet so far, and yet further still

All I desire is to be close to you again, even if only for a few short moments

Even if only to be pulled away just as quickly as I arrived

I will be away for ten thousand times longer than I was ever with you

I want nothing more than to remain in your cool, familiar embrace

Your scent reminds me of happier times, times I was able to stay with you for what seemed like as long as I wanted

My ears flood with the rush of my heart beat and yours, resounding almost rhythmically

You are my first and most infinitely beautiful muse

All I need is to understand, but in understanding, I know nothing

I can read the textbooks, the logic, the science, over and over

Memorize it by rote, even

But it will never fully explain the inner machinations of the enigma I experience

All you need to do is appear in my thoughts and I am yours

Whether it is the sunlight or the moonlight glinting off our surroundings, they cannot be surpassed by your shine in my eyes

They are your spotlights, beaming proudly to show you off

I would show you off too if I could

The annual heartbreak never fails to leave a single stone of my soul unturned

I am one of your many shipwrecks, and sometimes, you seem to wish things were different

I love how inspiring you are, you give me hope

I only remain hopeful because I know I can one day return to you

You are so powerful, so pretty, so predictable, imperfect yet astonishing

In choosing to be here with you, I choose to give myself to you

Never truly knowing if you do the same for me

Sometimes it feels like you do

But just like that, it's over.

Another I admire has said it better than I ever could: "My first and only love is the sea."

-ode to many loves (yet only one)

[dontletemfindme]

First Post!

Hello, Tumblr! I’d like my first post to be Hamilton related, so here we go. I wrote this when Hamilton won the Grammys, and their recent Tony sweep finally pushed me to get my shtuff together, make a Tumblr, and post it.

@linmanuel

(written March 20, 2016)

I’ve been inspired by Lin’s Grammy acceptance speech, Which was rapped and rhymed, and was able to reach My ears, and made me want to thank And praise you all in your achievement, I’m sure to which, you drank.

Congratulations, Lin-Manuel, Lacamoire, and friends and fam, On adding an achievement to the legacy of A. Ham.

Best Musical Theater Album at the Grammys, I’ve never been so proud of Hammy. A founding father’s legacy staged like none before, And to think it started with a simple biography, nothing more.

Well, not exactly simple, 791 pages to be exact, With 40 pages of annotations… Reading it left me cracked. Without Chernow’s dedication and narration to spur it on, This amazing version of reality I love would just be gone.

Lin, you were inspired, shocked that it hadn’t been done, Then shouldered the task yourself. In doing that, you won Not only a Grammy, but admiration and respect For creating a high caliber show; I’m unable to detect

A person who shames this show in any way. As they say in Newsies, you were able to seize the day And gain a crew and a right hand man of your own You proved to so many that history can be shown

Innovatively, not just in textbook style In modern musical methods, too, it must have taken a while To compile all these brilliant lyrics and lyricists Who, like you, dedicate themselves to this show like paintings and their artists

I discovered this show when I was thirteen, Full of hopes and dreams to change the world like no one’d ever seen The soundtrack spurred me on through endless nights Of homework, practices, drama, and fights

It’s been almost a year since then, and I’m just as obsessed Your show has burned into me ideals that have me impressed Not only the show, but your relationship with the cast and crew Have helped to keep me positive when I’m feeling blue

Your show has made Hamilton known for determination and pride, I have that too, thanks to you, but I’m waiting for it (meaning my chance to fly). I hope you like these rhymes, because they’re all that I’ve got, Because I’m writing this at 11 pm, and I am not throwing away my shot.

I have the honor to be your obedient servant, A. Rob.

[poet-not-a-prophet]

I'm reblogging this here because it's the first time I ever really tried poetry outside of school exercises.

Hopefully as time goes on, I can look back on this and see how far I've come.

Thus begins my journey into putting my poems out into the world.