I’ve never been certain of much in life
But for once I know what I want
k.c.

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@poetmaybedefinitelycrazy
I’ve never been certain of much in life
But for once I know what I want
k.c.
How quickly everything
Falls apart
People move on
And change
While I’m stuck
Desperately clinging
To the past
k.c.
I never quite realized just how much of myself I was losing by staying in a situation that “could be worse.” I haven’t been myself in so long. I’ve been drowning with no one to pull me out. Far too long I’ve refused to fight the tide.
I owe these people absolutely nothing. They give me no respect and expect my undying loyalty. Trapped because change hurts and I’m already in so much pain. I was afraid to add anymore lest I finally break.
What I forgot was just how freeing the pain of change can be. Letting the past and present go to move on to a better future. One that I create for myself.
k.c.
I am but exhaustion with a name and a face
And yet those that pass don’t know my name and I am unseen
k.c.
Some nights the voices are just too loud
The music can’t quite drown them out
All the things I hate about myself
Screaming at me to just surrender
I never made the choice to stay
Frayed strings are all I cling to
So close to the edge most nights
Afraid to just let go
Not sure what I’m still holding on to
Highs that just aren’t enough anymore
Artificial fixes, nothing past temporary
Terrified of eternity
k.c.
I want the world to be beautiful so I make it that way
So what if it’s just a lie I tell myself?
k.c.
Every day you wake up the same and every day they grow older. You almost don’t notice it at first, the subtle changes. Before you know it though the faces flash past on a never ending cycle of birth and life and death. You witness the life but never the lack because there are always more. So many more they all blur together into one and you are lost. Alone.
k.c.
Running through the night
Unknown and unknowable
By anyone but you
We run together
Perfect in each other
Filled with memories
k.c.
The stars will always fill me with wonder
k.c.
No one to talk to because they’re all too busy using me for cheap therapy
k.c.
Why do I feel so lost
Living the life
I’ve chosen to live?
How can I not recognize
Who I am
The person I’ve become?
k.c.
To swim is to drown
Pulled under
by the sheer weight
Of existence
k.c.
Try not to run
Through the blinding silence
For you’re only bound to fall
And the falling is forever
k.c.
I’m vibrating at just the right frequency
Or perhaps just the wrong frequency
Some days it’s hard to tell
I’m so in tune with the vastness of the universe
And my specific place in it
I don’t feel small or insubstantial
I’m not swallowed up in hopelessness
I stand back and watch it all unfold
Every moment happens again and again
We just aren’t around long enough to see it
People strive to be unique, to change things
But it’s always been this way
And it always will be
Characters change but the story stays the same
My story has already been told
Even as it unfolds I feel it’s history
I am just a moment in a circle
I owe the universe nothing
And I am owed nothing in return
k.c.
She loves me so sweetly
But every time
I give in
I give her
False hope
Becoming
More the monster
Knowing
I’ll never love
Her
As she loves
Me
k.c.
If you’ve ever met sadness you must believe in ghosts
k.c.
I just don’t care about myself the way I care for other people
k.c.