to be the poem, to be the muse

[poetryandpeonies]

How?

How is it possible that I look at him and I know he's the only one I want to have forever?

How come I don't want to have to tell anyone else anymore any part of my history ever again?

How's that I do not long for anybody else's touch, neither do I want to have to touch any other body or soul?

How can I be so in love?

How is it so strong that I cannot hold it anymore?

How could I possibly put into words the infatuation this love has given me?

How shall I explain to a common mundane the maximum lovr expression I get to every time he puts his eyes on me?

How? How? How?

[poetryandpeonies]

how is it called when you feel so much pain you feel like thowing up?

[poetryandpeonies]

What could I have possibly done to deserve such pain?

Why can't I breathe? My heart aches and my skin burns like if I was shading. I can feel the sadness come out of my eyes in the most beautiful water form I've ever seen.

My thoughts are consumed by the overwhelming feelings I can't help but have, so ignominous.

It's not that life is hard, it's that I feel too much.

[poetryandpeonies]

I'm still trying to figure out this fire that burns inside of me.

Does its existence bother me because it's there and hurts?

Or, does it go against every belief I have about you, and burns because you're gone?

Is the fire so bad if one's there to lock it up and stick to it?

Am I attaching to that fire to not let you go?

Maybe I can find solace in anything that hurts me just because that's the only thing you ever did. Maybe it is not, and I am, perhaps trying to demonize you so it doesn't hurt that much and the pain decreases. At least I know it will. Eventually.

[poetryandpeonies]

Leave me hanging, wondering in the dark if I did something wrong. Maybe you are just tired but my head is having obssessive thoughts. Perhaps I'm just being overly dramatic, maybe just an attention-seeker, at least that's what's on my mind.

I guess I fell hard on the victim complex.

I trust nobody, I still try to trust you even when I feel like I shouldn't. I'm too sensitive and much of an overthinker for this, it's disturbing. Just say you love me, it might make me change my mind.

Temporarily.

[poetryandpeonies]

The way I could stay by your side forevermore has me wondering what type of love spell did you put on me.

The way I long for the touch of your hand makes me think I might be lost forever in the depths of this affair of the heart.

[poetryandpeonies]

If only you knew how frustrating it is to me to not be able to express the way I love you. If only you could know how much you mean to me. If only I could put into words the stunning work of art that crosses my mind every time you smile.

I feel like I could surrender to this love forever. I wish I was the oath you pray to keep. I wish to have certainty about if the uncertainty of forever is worth it, even though I know I would stay despite what the answer may be.

[hamza-ps]

Hello free world, my name is Hamza from Gaza, I am 19 years old, I was studying at Al-Azhar University in Gaza, majoring in software engineering, unfortunately the university was completely destroyed and we stopped studying and we lost a whole year of our lives without education, but it was very harsh and destroyed all our dreams, I have now traveled alone and without my family to Egypt to complete my education, I majored in software engineering at Cairo University in Egypt, but because I am a Palestinian studying outside my country, the tuition fees are very expensive for foreigners in Egypt, as the tuition fees for the academic year are estimated at 8000 US dollars, and my family cannot pay it, but they are still in Gaza living in tents and a harsh life, our warm home was destroyed and our lives were turned upside down, despite that my father borrowed 3000 dollars to pay the university fees, and 3000 dollars to reserve a seat and the rest of the procedures required to register at the university, so I hope you can help me pay the university tuition fees, and I am very thankful to you and for your kind reading and consideration My circumstances🤍🥺

Go to paypal.me/abouakarissa and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

Go to paypal.me/abouakarissa and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

[poetryandpeonies]

Hope this reaches the right people.

[poetryandpeonies]

I like to scape from reality. Sometimes you'll find me staring at the horizon, while I'm inmeersed in my thoughts.

I shall be thinking about how many languages I wish I could speak, but unfortunatelly I won't ever be able to learn them all. Or how I'd love to read every piece of poetry and every book ever written.

To be loved is to be admired, and that is how I feel about art, about humanity, about people I love, and about me if someone asks me in a deeper level. And that's what I think matters the most.

To love, to be loved. To admire and be admired.

[poetryandpeonies]

Hello my brother,I hope you be good condition.

I have special condition,I’m from Palestine,If you can help me,I will be so grateful 🙏

Hello! I have no resources nor any way I can help with at the moment, but I'll share this just in case anybody else can.

I send my condolences and best prayers to your country, I hope everything gets better.

[poetryandpeonies]

Hello lm hamdi ,I humbly ask for your support by reblogging this post on your account to help me and my family. As newcomers to Tumblr and GoFundMe, we are in desperate need of your kindness and support. 🙏🇵🇸🍉😔Please donate 🙏🏼Let's reach the goal as soon as possible .

Done! I truly hope everything gets better, sweetheart.

[poetryandpeonies]

4:59 a.m.

I should be asleep, but I don't seem to be able to keep you out of my head.

It is not that usual in me to be in this situation, I'm not used to think that much about anything nor any one. Despite of it, there is one question that has had me intrigued enough for me to not be able to close my eyes.

"Where have you been all my life?"- I say repeatedly in my head.

It may sound clingy, and it might be. It is also true.

I think that I might have found something I wasn't aware I didn't have but needed.

I would like to say that I wish I had met you before, but I don't. Because, perhaps, if that had happened I wouldn't have you.

I'm grateful for every mistake, every wound and scar, every wrong choice I made, because that led me, one way or another, to you.

I'm grateful for all the people you had to leave and love before, because, one way or another, they let me have you.

ps: i love you

[poetryandpeonies]

From: the poet

To: the muse

Hi, you probably don't even know I write and dream about you.

You might think it's silly of a writer to claim to love someone so profoundly, but the beauty hidden inside your eyes has me astonished.

I may not be able to put the amaziness you bring to my heart into words, as if they could ever make justice to the depth of the feelings it contains.

You are so endearing that I feel like I could never compare your grace to any one or anything under earth nor breathing.

The way you look, the way you talk, the way you laugh, the way you breathe, the way you are has me mesmerized.

I could write a million hundred speeches I will never say out loud about how much you mean to me, how fascinating I find everything you are and how I admire that everything you touch turns into gold.

[poetryandpeonies]

I love when you love me

I love when I say I don't want you

I hate that I lie.

[poetryandpeonies]

does love exist?

Love is such a complex feeling. I will never know what is going on until it is too late.

There is, indeed, something magical about it, about wondering how, what and why are you so head over heels for that person. I must say that it could also bring pain into one's life, but I find that even more magnificent.

The way feelings are everywhere, in everything. Music, poems, dances, stories, movies... They would never exist without someone feeling betrayed, devastated, joyful, loved... I find it pretty amazing.

Also, there are little things that everyone of us do for our loved ones, sometimes without even realising we are. When you tell someone their hair looks pretty, even to a stranger, you did it out of good. When somebody tells you something that made them think about you, and that let you know you are present in their life...

I don't think I could ever say love does not exist, when I know every single person capable of feeling does any of the things mentioned before. I think romanticism will only die if we let it die.

[poetryandpeonies]

I think about us, I really do. I wish you knew how much I like the way you smile, the way you laugh, even the way you breathe.

It is a secret I like to keep, just so it doesn't ever get stealed.

I could see you being the first ray of sunshine after a thunderstorm, I, however, could also see you being such thunderstorm any day I just want to stay home and watch a movie while I hear you rain.

I could see you being your best version or your worst, I could see me staying despite of it.

And I, perhaps, could see me choosing you in a room full of people, but it is a secret I will keep.

[poetryandpeonies]

Have they always talked about you but I didn't realise it until now? Have you always been there but I have never known?

Would it be worth the question? Would it be worth the answer?

Do I even want to know?

Do I already know the answer but refuse to say it out loud?

How much of a sin would it be if I just keep it to myself?

Would I be a sinner if I made you listen?

I'd like to be right, I think I have all the answers I need but I'm too terrified to face the reality

I want you to want me, however, when I think about "us" I wonder if that word only exists in my head.

Maybe a coincidence is just considered as such when it happens once, maybe if it's thrice I can start to see the pattern.

Maybe I'm avoiding something i can't avoid forever, maybe it leads us to a thunderestorm. Maybe just to me.

I don't know what you think about me, I don't know what you know but I know what I'd like you to know.

Face to face, can't look you in the eye, I feel like I can't breathe. Maybe if I avoid you anxiety will go away.

I write abou you, in poems and songs, in prose and verse, about what I know won't happen.

Sometimes I look at you and it seems like if our worlds, yours and mine, were synchronised for a minute. I would hate you to know, I would hate even more the idea of not having you.