Love is an Art

And We Are The Painters

[poetrysar]

It's convenient, to always be there when I'm needed

To help others in their path to succeeding

I'm not a doormat, more of a stepping stone

Another checkbox in the direction you need to be heading

I know you're having a better endeavor because of me

Just feel like I'm not getting anything

[poetrysar]

I've become too tired to question

So all I do is question

With nothing to show

Ask the cards and they tell me

Try again later

But I am t i r e d of trying

I've become too weary to wonder

So all I do is wonder

An endless fever dream

Ask around and they tell me

Follow your dreams

But I am w e a r y of wonder

[poetrysar]

almost five months to the day all that was said was okay, okay and what’s been playing over in my head is just can’t go through this again

[poetrysar]

why am I so easily tricked into thinking a good thing is great i promise i try to be grateful, gentle but i always find out the truth late i forgave but never forgot and glide through each day, night, week working on liking myself again fighting to not be so meek found nowhere to place any blame the end is a lonely, narrow road proselytizing the world away in order to feel what I’m owed

[poetrysar]

Honestly I never thought

I'd be here

looking my 27th year

Head on

Thought I'd be

No going concern

Never made a plan

Beyond live and learn

[poetrysar]

He said to just give back what you're getting

Spoken like someone who truly

Has no comprehension of the intensity

Of the passion in my soul

Spoken like someone who truly

Wants sexy love, not messy love

Like the outlines of my bones

Spoken like someone who truly

Couldn't walk a day with my shoes

Throw them out, the whole thing out

Give it back. Give him genuine.

[poetrysar]

A boy planted a seed of hope

Deep within me

He gave it a kiss and tucked it in

A seed has to trust

Just be still and trust

That water and sunlight and warmth

Will be showered upon it

Seeds have no control

I wonder how bad they want it

[poetrysar]

How many poems have I already wrote

About someone who wasn't the one

All of them... Til now?

All of them?

Screaming love and pain and hope and blame

At the wall til the wall screams back

[poetrysar]

It's so much harder

To find your voice in this world

When it can't be heard

[poetrysar]

I can’t have someone else making decisions for me I can’t have someone telling me what I want to do and not I need to be consulted for my opinion I can’t be hidden from things or people or opportunities and all you want to do is hide me and make the choice for me and close doors on me and I’ve tried telling you before but I don’t know how else to express I need to keep all the doors open

[poetrysar]

before I thought each one was the one now i know this one really is it’s the calmest I’ve ever been I finally found my partner I finally found my ever after

[poetrysar]

He shares my love of all things strange

He seems to always find the time

To spend on me and heal my heart

One day he will be mine

He sings too much and hates being touched

Sometimes he tells bad jokes

But he makes me smile every chance he gets

He's one of my favorite folks

He's there for me like noone else

I crave the warmth of his hand

And if he decides he loves-me loves-me

Well then... I'd be damned

[poetrysar]

It's one thing to say you care

But he means it every time

And I still act surprised

This isn't what I deserve

So I don't know how to take it

We didn't have to save each other

But maybe we will

[poetrysar]

The only vacation I get

Anymore

Are the hours I can sleep

And not have to pretend

And not have to interact

And put on a mask

The only break I get

Is lying in my bed

So don't try to suggest

That I'm so lucky I get to "sleep in"

[poetrysar]

He gives me the courage

To want

To try again

[poetrysar]

Seven days makes one weak

Each one causes a new leak

Too many weeks pass by

Still figuring out how to get by

I think things are getting better

But maybe I'm pretending

Faking it til making it

It's all fading together

[poetrysar]

Every new place I go

I'm still the same

Sickly, disgusting, ugly

Too hard to love

Never good enough

That I was before